What’s your favorite horror movie? “Halloween”? “The Ring”? “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”?

Mine is a little-known arthouse classic called “The Hardest Golf Course in the World?” The 15-minute short never appeared in theaters nor has it received a Rotten Tomatoes rating; it went straight to the DP World Tour’s YouTube page where it has drawn a meager audience — about 15,000 viewers — likely because most golfers don’t have the stomach for it.

Among the terrors in this fright flick: England’s Matthew Jordan putting up a slope only for the ball to . . . take a 90-degree turn and roll back toward him (“Makes you look silly,” a commentator says); Andreas Halvorsen of Norway chunking a greenside bunker shot . . . into the rough. And Troy Merritt playing left-handed off a cart path from where he . . . chips his ball into a bush. Those are just the PG-13 scenes; the NC-17 clips aren’t suitable for this site.

This gruesome medley of shots, among many other lowlights, all occurred at the 2025 Hero Indian Open at Delhi Land & Finance Country Club, more commonly known as [cue dissonant violin chords] . . . DLF.

DLF, which has played host to the Indian Open since 2017, is a sharp-fanged beast that feeds on uncommitted swings and uncertain reads. The original parkland design, by Arnold Palmer, debuted in 1999 complete with 15,000 newly planted trees and 195 floodlights, which allowed for golf under the stars on all 18 holes. By 2015, though, the course had a new look and more fearsome feel, thanks to a Gary Player redo that included nine new holes and a retooling of nine of Palmer’s holes. The Player course, which stretches north of 7,600 yards, has two lakes, craggy rock formations, fairways choked by trees and bushes and bunkers that resemble the Great Pit of Carkoon. And then you get to the greens, which are about as easy to handle as the banks on a Nascar track. As one course review site noted of DLF, “The average handicap golfer will need to bring a sense of humour and an arsenal of golf balls.”

The pros, too. The DP World Tour is back at DLF this week for the latest playing of the Indian Open, and, after a first round in which 14 players failed to break 80, familiar refrains (shrieks?) could be heard emanating from the press center.

“Might be the hardest course this year,” said German pro Freddy Schott, who had to take two drops Thursday, both of which led to bogeys. “Your game has to be so good overall, there’s not a thing which can leak.”

And that was your first-round leader talking! Schott erased his leaky swings with a stunning eight birdies to take the solo lead at six under.

“It’s a course that you need to be patient,” added Eugenio Chacarra after a nifty five-under 67. “I just think it’s a real golf course. You hit every club in the bag, you can’t really have a weakness — you need to hit it good from the tee, you need to have a good approach, the landing areas are small. You need to putt good, the greens are firm and fast and it’s hard to read them.”

A real golf course.

The pros on the other end of the ’board weren’t as chatty, but their cards spoke volumes. Shubhan Jaglan of India shot a back-nine 49 that included a double, two triples and a quad. Amardeep Malik, also of India, made four triples and signed for an 89.

Akshay Bhatia, who won the Arnold Palmer Invitational earlier this month, hit his opening tee shot, on the par-4 10th, out of bounds and made a double. Five holes later, on the par-4 15th, Bhatia accidentally played the wrong ball with his second shot, leading to a two-shot penalty and a triple-bogey 8. Bhatia bounced back with a front-nine 33 but still finished with a welcome-to-DLF 77. “Glad I didn’t shoot 80,” he said with a nervous laugh.

In 2025, three of DLF’s holes ranked among the 10 toughest holes on the DP World Tour: the 414-yard par-4 14th, which had a scoring average of 4.54; the 535-yard par-4 (yes, par-4!) 17th (4.51); and the 446-yard par-4 6th (4.44). Of the 17th, the droll English pro, Eddie Pepperel, tweeted in 2018, “The great thing about the 17th hole in India is that it has 15,000 rocks and 15 fans. Most great 17th holes have 15 rocks, and 15,000 fans.”

In the first round Thursday, 14 was playing harder still, to a stroke average of 4.93. Twenty-five players made double or worse.

You might be asking yourself, What was Gary Player’s end game here? In an era when playability and user-friendliness have become fashionable, what was the motivation for building such a shin-kicking test? On Thursday afternoon, I dropped Player’s office a line to see if he might talk me through his design strategy. Player was traveling, but one of his representatives did send me a written response from the Black Knight on his “key design philosophies” at DLF.

“Our design intent was to create a captivating and memorable golf course that would achieve world-class standards,” Player wrote. “While the course presents a meaningful challenge, it has been exceptionally well-received by the golfing community.”

He went on: “The course features an immense amount of variety and strategic interest, highlighted by iconic revetted bunkers, a dramatic rock quarry, a large lake, compelling contouring, and breathtaking vistas. What makes the achievement even more remarkable is that the entire landscape began as flat ground. To transform that blank canvas into 18 holes of championship golf is truly extraordinary. The experience is intentionally thought-provoking, offering a wide range of shot values that challenge players to think strategically throughout the round. Every hole offers something unique, continually engaging the player’s attention from the first tee to the final green.”

Oh, they’ll get your attention alright. They might keep you up at night, too.

Two years ago, the DP World Tour social team asked a handful of pros what an 18-handicapper might shoot at DLF. The question drew wry smiles, if not outright laughter, from most of the players — and chilling answers.

“I think I can easily see 80 for myself,” said Niklas Norgaard Moller of Denmark. “I think we’re close to 150, maybe 160. Such a difficult course.”