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Friendship Boundaries: What Happens When Yours Are Too Strict

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Friendship Boundaries: What Happens When Yours Are Too Strict


Type the word ‘boundaries’ into your Instagram or TikTok search bar, and you’ll find countless posts. From quote graphics to podcast video clippings, each one gives you all the permission you need to set unapologetic, uncompromising boundaries in every area of your life. This is a good thing, right? Boundaries are necessary in our relationships, whether platonic, romantic, or professional, to ensure the relationship’s health. They are also essential to both our self-care and self-respect—there’s no arguing that. But yet, many of us struggle with setting them, especially if we didn’t see them set by our role models when we were kids.

I don’t recall ever being taught about boundaries in childhood. It’s not like they are taught in grade school, and conversations with my parents about boundaries were non-existent unless a boy was making me feel uncomfortable. I didn’t fully grasp the importance of boundaries until I entered college, and the realities of adulthood began to test my ability to set them. Every opportunity, activity, and person who crossed my path heard a resounding “yes!” from me as my desperation for success caused me to put my people-pleasing and perfectionism into overdrive. I remained in that overdrive gear until I found my body stuck in fawn mode after years of suppressed burnout. I needed to learn how to set boundaries, like, yesterday.

To make up for those boundary-less years, I went from perfectionism-overdrive to boundary-overdrive. Clearly, I hadn’t yet learned that any gear in overdrive is harmful—even a well-intentioned one. Boundaries are vital, but too much of anything can become detrimental. Establishing excessive or rigid boundaries can result in obsessive thinking, self-centered behavior, and distancing from family and friends. Ask me how I know.

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If you find yourself stuck in a pattern of inflexible boundary-setting or are uncertain whether your approach to boundaries is healthy, don’t worry. Ahead, we’re exploring why so many of us set such firm boundaries, how to recognize if they’re damaging our relationships, and how to establish healthy boundaries that serve us without negatively affecting our relationships.

Why do we set such strict boundaries?

It’s no coincidence that the conversation around boundaries has exploded in recent years. Many of us in our 20s and 30s are becoming more open about the challenges we are navigating in adulthood that may stem from our childhood or other traumas we have endured. This has resulted in an uptick in boundary-setting to address, heal from, and repair some of that damage. Some of us are setting boundaries to heal our inner child. Some of us are trying to recover from years of people-pleasing and perfectionism. And some of us have been abused or mistreated and want to make sure that never happens again.

Our reasons for setting strict boundaries, whatever they may be, are valid. Our feelings are real, our hurt is real, and we deserve to heal from our pain and repair that damage. Boundaries are one essential part of that healing and recovery. However, we live in a culture, particularly online, that encourages restrictive, unyielding, and sometimes harsh boundary-setting. But what about finding a healthy balance between prioritizing our needs and the needs of those we are in community with?

“The boundaries we set with others should be more about our behavior than the other person’s behavior.

We are more influenced by the culture set by our algorithms than we realize. Many of us don’t set out to be uncompromising or self-serving with our boundaries, but the impact of social media, combined with our legitimate emotions and motivational factors, may be guiding us in that direction.

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Your boundaries could be affecting your friendships if…

You are using boundaries as a list of demands

Much of the rhetoric around boundaries is about how to make demands of the people in our lives. We have rules and limitations; if someone wants to be in our lives, they must obey them. For example, maybe you expect your friends to accommodate your busy schedule, and when they can’t, you think they don’t respect you. In truth, these so-called boundaries are actually demands and expectations that are unfair and unreasonable to place on anyone, particularly those we care about. The boundaries we set with others should be more about our behavior than the other person’s behavior. Boundaries are not meant to be a set of standards that we hold others to, and then use their inability to meet them to justify punishment.

This misuse of boundaries can add to toxic and unhealthy relationship environments that boundaries are supposed to help alleviate. Rather than boundaries that come across as controlling or demanding, focus on actions you can take to serve your needs without demeaning others. For example, make sure you’re doing your part to make accommodations for your friends just as you need them to make accommodations for you.

Communicating boundaries with your friends is not a bad thing. In a healthy friendship, both parties respect each other’s boundaries to the best of their ability, with room for grace when necessary. But, if your boundaries are only a list of expectations and demands from others without compromise or action on your part, you’ve got it all wrong.

You are using boundaries as an excuse to not give any effort

Many of us have been in friendships where we feel we are the only ones putting effort into the relationship. It’s like a high school group project returning to haunt you in adulthood. You’re over friendships feeling like a one-way street. So, you vow to make sure you are never caught in the position of exerting too much effort again. To protect yourself from this frustration, you swing the pendulum in the opposite direction, ensuring the only effort you give is toward yourself.

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“If your boundaries are only a list of expectations and demands from others without compromise or action on your part, you’ve got it all wrong.”

This may sound liberating. Putting forth effort into friendships after dealing with past friendship hurt can feel vulnerable and intimidating. It’s easier to wait for your friends to reach out to you and call it a boundary rather than put yourself out there. It feels easier to withdraw from a friendship when conflict or communication challenges arise rather than stick it out and have tough conversations. It’s easier to give space to a friend going through a difficult situation rather than exert the emotional energy required to show up for them.

However, this approach is like punishing every current or future friend for that one bad friendship you endured. Your feelings may be justified, but punishing those who haven’t hurt you out of fear and self-protection is not.

Yes, set some guidelines with yourself to make sure that you are still prioritizing your needs. Practice self-care so that you have the energy to coordinate plans, show up for a friend in distress, and work through battles that are bound to occur. Good friends put effort into their friendships. That effort may have to ebb and flow given various circumstances, and that’s OK. There will be times when you may have less to give than your friend, and vice versa. Your boundaries exist to help you navigate what that looks like when your capacity is running low. It’s OK to communicate how much capacity you have, how your effort may look different at times, or set guidelines for yourself about your abilities. However, your friendships deserve and require effort to be sustainable and healthy.

You are saying ‘no’ too much

“No is a complete sentence,” is one of the most popular quotes I notice circulating social media. And, for the chronic people-pleasers of the world, this is a reminder that many of us need daily. If saying ‘no’ has been tough for you until you began setting boundaries, you may feel tempted to make up for lost time. Once you realize how easy it is to say ‘no,’ you might find yourself getting excited for the next time you get to do so. Social media has taught us that our ‘no’ doesn’t need an explanation. Our peace is too important not to protect.

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Yes, ‘no’ is a complete sentence. And, no, you shouldn’t feel guilty for the times you genuinely need to say ‘no’ to a friend. But, becoming the queen of saying ‘no’ could lead to you becoming the friend who is no longer dependable, who never wants to hang out, and who gives a general “leave me alone” disposition. This may not be your intention. You’re just making up for lost time! You want to make sure no one walks all over you again and expects you to be somewhere or do something at the drop of the hat. However, your ‘no’ boundary can turn you into a friend who’s never around, so don’t get mad when you stop getting invited.

You’re too quick to cut someone out of your life

This is the boundary trend that concerns me the most, yet it is the trend that I see the most supported online: cutting someone out of your life the moment you think they “no longer serve you.” Disagreement? Cut. Miscommunication? Cut. Your personality doesn’t mesh with mine? Cut. Didn’t follow my boundary rules? CUT!

“If we’re not careful, our boundaries can lead to isolation rather than strong, loving relationships that make us feel safe, seen, and cared for.”

Sure, there will be times when you will need to cut that unhealthy, toxic person out of your life. And your intuition will tell you when that time comes. However, every person you disagree with is not toxic. They’re human. Like you. And, like you, humans make mistakes!

The ability and grace to make mistakes in relationships seem to have gotten lost over the past few years. I get it—none of us want to feel like we are being abused or misused in our friendships. But, that doesn’t mean we can hold others to such high standards that they are being cut from our lives the moment conflict arises. Conflict will arise in all relationship forms. The strongest relationships are the ones that choose to weather the storm together because the value of the relationship and the humanity of the other person is more important than their ego.

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So, what do you do if you’ve taken your boundaries too far?

Experts say that human connection is essential to our mental well-being, serving as the number one antidote to depression. We need strong connections in the form of friendships for optimal survival. While setting firm boundaries may seem like a way to protect your time and energy and avoid potential hurt in friendships, overly rigid boundaries can gradually push others away. The boundaries we set for ourselves and each other should only draw us into a more connected, healthy, and loving relationship where each party feels cherished and respected.

A lot of the rhetoric around boundaries tells us that our boundaries solely exist to serve us. Following that rhetoric may feel empowering, but if it leaves others feeling pushed aside, controlled, or that they are not worth our time and effort, naturally our friendships can dissipate. If we’re not careful, some boundaries can lead to isolation rather than strong, loving relationships that make us feel safe, seen, and cared for.

If you realize that your boundaries may be a bit more strict than what you thought, it’s OK. There is no shame here. Remember, your feelings and motivators behind why you are trying to protect yourself are valid, and boundaries are essential. You may just need to loosen them up a bit. If you’re saying “no” a little too much, challenge yourself to say “yes” more often. If you feel yourself pulling away from conflict and challenge, ask yourself why that may be and how you can adjust. Maybe you need to push yourself to be more flexible. Take some time to reflect on your boundaries, your relationships, and areas for growth. The goal is to ensure your needs aren’t neglected while creating resilient, thriving connections with those who matter most to you.

caroline sumlin

MEET THE AUTHOR

Caroline Sumlin, Contributing Writer

Caroline Sumlin is a writer, author, and content creator specializing in topics ranging from self-worth, lifestyle, wellness, motherhood, education, society, and culture. Caroline received her Bachelor of Arts degree in Journalism from Howard University in Washington, DC. Driven by her passion for freedom and justice, Caroline crafts articles that urge readers to reflect more deeply and critically about themselves, their lives, and the world around them.

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Shopbop’s Fall Sale is Here—These Are Our Fashion Editor’s Favorite Picks

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Shopbop’s Fall Sale is Here—These Are Our Fashion Editor’s Favorite Picks


Sometimes, life calls for you to treat yourself. Be it with a sweet treat after running errands or a latte on the way to the office, you deserve to indulge once in a while. And sometimes, the universe’s sign to do so is flashing in neon lights, like it happens to be right now with Shopbop’s biggest sale of the year.

With the season in full swing, Shopbop’s Style Event is allowing us to snag the pieces we’ve been dreaming of for our cold-weather wardrobes at the lowest prices of the year. That suede purse you’ve been eyeing? A new pair of boots you know you’ll live in? They’re all on sale. I scoured the entirety of the sale to bring you the most worthwhile splurges—these are the ones I wouldn’t pass up.

From now through October 3, shop 15% off orders of $200+, 20% off orders of $500+, and 25% off orders of $800+ at Shopbop with the code STYLE.

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Shop Shopbop’s Style Event


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AYR

The Deep End Button Down

2 colors available

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Line & Dot

Benni Striped Cardigan
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Madewell

Perfect Western Shirt
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RAILS

Striped Cardigan
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RAILS

Striped Pullover
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English Factory

Knit Stripe Cardigan
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Vince

Ribbed Cardigan
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Line & Dot

Zip-Up Sweater
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Good American

V-Neck Sweater

Plus size options available

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BLANKNYC

Rain Shower Shirt
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Z Supply

Milan Stripe Sweater
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ANINE BING

California Sweatshirt
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Line & Dot

Mayfair Sweater
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ASTR the Label

Padded Blazer
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Line & Dot

Melody Jacket
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UGG

Oversized Fluff Jacket
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ANINE BING

Trench Coat
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Line & Dot

Ares Bomber
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Lioness

Woven Bomber Jacket
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ANINE BING

Hooded Sweatshirt
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Reformation

Oversized Leather Bomber
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AGOLDE

Pinch Waist Jeans
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AGOLDE

Mid-Rise Jeans
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Levi’s

High-Waisted Jeans
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Good American

Good Skate Jeans
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Madewell

The Perfect Vintage Wide Leg Jeans
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Levi’s

Ribcage Straight Ankle Jeans
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Le Specs

Oval Sunglasses
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Brinker + Eliza

Heart Stones Necklace
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B-Low The Belt

Suede Belt
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St. Agni

Woven Mini Tote
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STAUD

Round Moon Bag
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Florian London

Anya Brown Clutch
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8 Other Reasons

Leopard Shoulder Bag

2 colors available

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New Balance

990v6 Sneakers
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Freda Salvador

Woven Flats
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Loeffler Randall

Woven Leather Loafers
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Madewell

Mary Jane Flats
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GANNI

Buckle Flats
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STAUD

Suede Ankle Boots
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Loeffler Randall

Knee-High Boots
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STAUD

Wally Boots
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Reformation

Knee-High Boots
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Shop Shopbop’s Style Event

The post Shopbop’s Fall Sale is Here—These Are Our Fashion Editor’s Favorite Picks appeared first on The Everygirl.

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The Wellness Supplements I Add to My Routine in the Fall

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The Wellness Supplements I Add to My Routine in the Fall


With a new season comes changes in what your body needs to function optimally—whether it’s switching up your workout routine, eating more in-season foods, or taking up a new hobby. And the same goes for the supplements you reach for to support your body through the transition. I’ve spent many years working with my doctors to find the wellness supplements that are right for my body, and they change seasonally. As someone who lives in the Pacific Northwest, I deal with many days of rain, wind, and less sunlight (AKA cold and flu weather). But no matter where you live, there are certain supplements that can help address the typical health woes this time of year—immunity, mood, allergies, and dry skin—so you can feel your best. Keep reading for must-have wellness supplements to consider adding to your regimen.


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Airborne

Obviously, there’s never a good time to be sick, but it’s especially inconvenient when the holiday season is right around the corner. So, adding some extra vitamin C into your daily line up is a must. These Airborne Vitamin C Tablets are the perfect go-to for a quick immunity boost when you’re feeling a bit rundown (or just want to be extra proactive). Just drop one in water, let it fizz, and bam—you’re sipping on a tangy little drink that’ll keep you in tip top shape. Plus, they’re perfect for keeping in your bag or desk drawer, especially when you’re on-the-go on a hectic Q4 day.


Thorne

Come fall, the days get shorter and you get less sunlight exposure, causing the body to produce less vitamin D. Low levels of vitamin D can lead to seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and a weakened immunity. This liquid supplement can step in to help maintain neuroprotective agents that support immune health, mood regulation, and muscle function, as well as bone health. (The vitamin K component helps the body better absorb the vitamin D.)

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Ritual

This (vegan) Omega-3 fatty acid supplement features a science-backed dose of DHA & EPA in a 2:1 ratio (which is found in a healthy Mediterranean diet). DHA is a predominant fatty acid in the brain, and Omega-3 DHA & EPA support brain health and may play a role in reducing symptoms for depression. Plus, thanks to its anti-inflammatory properties, these natural citrus-infused capsules (read: they’re tasty!) can help combat dry skin and joint stiffness.


Beekeeper’s Naturals

Propolis is a natural mixture produced by bees from substances collected from parts of plants, buds, and exudates. While bees use it to line the walls of their hives and preserve honey, propolis delivers over 300 beneficial compounds and antioxidants that combat oxidative stress, build the immune system, soothe a dry, scratchy throat, combat free radical damage in the body, and feed the good bacteria in the gut. TL;DR: It’s the reason why I instantly start to feel better every time I use this spray.


New Roots

These liquid drops, made from the purest and most potent wild oregano oil, deliver  antibacterial, antifungal, and anti-inflammatory benefits. In other words, they fight bacteria that commonly cause infections, can be an effective treatment for common Candida fungal infections, and may help protect the body from damage caused by oxidative stress and free radicals. When I add three to five drops of this tincture to water or juice a couple of times a day while sick, I’ve noticed my symptoms go away faster. But even when I’m not under the weather, it’s my go-to for daily immune support.

Calissa Kirilenko

MEET THE AUTHOR

Calissa Kirilenko

Calissa is a contributing wellness writer for The Everygirl who specializes in covering subjects surrounding mental health, meditation, and self-care. She is also a certified breathwork facilitator and works with clients to heal through the power of their breath.

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 This post is sponsored by CVS Pharmacy but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board.

 



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The Best At-Home Pilates Equipment

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The Best At-Home Pilates Equipment


If you’ve been anywhere on the internet within the past couple of years, chances are, you’ve come across a fitness or wellness girly raving about her Pilates class. From GRWM videos to studio tours, the Pilates lifestyle screams That Girl. And yes, the hype got to me. However, as I researched different Pilates studios near me, I realized that those memberships come at a steep price—and that’s only the start of it. Along with the membership, it can be easy to get sucked into the idea that you need the numerous matching outfits, the Stanley cup, and the special grip socks for every day of the week.

So, yeah, I won’t be joining the glamorous ranks of studio Pilates girlies. However, Pilates is a great workout, and it’s easy to get a similar experience at home. Enter mat Pilates. Mat Pilates eliminates the reformer machine typically used in studios and replaces it with a mat, simple Pilates equipment, and your body weight. All things you probably already have lying around the apartment or are just a simple two-day shipping window away.

If you’re ready to make the jump from in-studio classes to at-home sessions, first of all, welcome to the club! Secondly, start here. Below, I’ve rounded up the best Pilates equipment you can add to your at-home studio that’ll help you look forward to your mat session every day.

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How to do Pilates at home

Between free and paid apps, short TikTok routines, and free YouTube videos, there is no shortage of options for at-home Pilates workouts. Below, I’ve outlined a few editor-favorite at-home Pilates resources to help you get started.

  • If you want a guided schedule: FORM by Sami Clark (read our review of the app here!), $28/month or $120/year
  • If you want a huge library of on-demand workouts to choose from: Obé Fitness, $24.99/month or $169.99/year
  • If you’ve never tried Pilates before and just want to check it out: @MoveWithNicole on YouTube

Everything you need for at-home Pilates


pilates equipment

Stakt

In addition to all of the typical yoga mat benefits (supportive cushion to soften the impact from working out on the floor and a grippy material to help keep you in place), this foldable yoga mat from Stakt provides even more support throughout your workout, allowing you to easily customize your experience, whether you’re in a plank or need more cushion under your knees or wrists.

7 colors available


pilates equipment

Target | All In Motion

If you want to level up your at home Pilates routine, add in a set of light weights to make it more challenging. This set from Target comes with three, five, and eight pound weights, so you can use the heavier weights for glute workouts and the lighter weights for your arms. You can also start light and work your way up as you get stronger.

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pilates equipment

Amazon | Bala

Take your at-home workout to the next level by incorporating these one-pound wrist weights from Bala. They’re comfortable to wear and easy to take on and off when changing moves. You don’t have to worry about holding weights and can wear them on your wrists for arm workouts or ankles for your lower body. They act as a built-in extra push you’ll actually look forward to using.

3 colors available


pilates equipment

Amazon | HOME GYM

This 10-pound weighted exercise ring is high quality, easy to hold, and has a balanced weight that’ll aid you in moves like crunches, chest presses, or core workouts. Using this weighted ring during your mat Pilates session will increase your balance and endurance.


Amazon | Bala

As you build your flexibility, holding certain stretches or moves can be trickier at first. One of the best ways to aid your body during those moves is to bring the floor to you with supportive yoga blocks.

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4 colors available


pilates equipment

Lululemon

You can get a similar effect of a reformer by using a foam roller under your feet when doing a mat Pilates move on your back or hands. When using the foam roller, it requires you to focus on balance, mimicking the movement of a reformer. This option from Lululemon comes with two rollers: one that is meant to massage your arms and legs, and another that is meant to release tension from your back.

3 colors available


pilates equipment

Bala

Placing sliders under your feet while in plank moves mimics the experience of a reformer and levels up your core exercises. Bala’s sliding discs are made from a dense, supportive foam, so you’re also still totally supported while using them.

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3 colors available


Amazon | ALTA

Resistance bands are a simple way to add a challenge to Pilates moves like leg lifts or raises. These resistance bands from Amazon are durable, won’t slide up or down, and come with three different difficulty levels.


pilates equipment

Amazon | Pafal

If you’re used to a reformer and are intimidated by the prospect of going without one, this Pilates ab board is basically the closest you can get to that experience at home. It’s compact and allows you to do traditional Pilates moves like lunges, planks, and arm extensions. You can read our Wellness Editor’s review of it here. 

2 colors available

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pilates equipment

Amazon | GAIAM

If you haven’t caught on by now, there are a ton of ways to get a reformer-like experience with at-home equipment. If nothing’s spoken to you yet, this Pilates bar is designed to help you recreate reformer moves wherever you are. While holding the bar above your chest, you place your feet in the stirrups at the end of the two resistance bands to guide your body through different movements.


pilates equipment

Amazon | IUGA

I like placing a yoga towel on my mat when I’m anticipating an extra-sweaty workout session. This yoga towel grips to your mat, is extra absorbent, and gives you a non-slip surface to work out on so you always stay in place. This set also comes with a hand towel if you need to do a quick wipe down between moves and an empty spray bottle you can fill with water to spritz your towel if you need more traction.

5 colors available


at-home pilates

Move Active

Grip socks are required when using a Pilates reformer, but I like to still wear mine when I’m doing any workout on a yoga mat. They keep me in place so I’m not worried about slipping or losing my footing mid-stretch. As a bonus, Move Active’s grip socks are moisture-wicking (shoutout to my fellow sweaty girls!) and come in a bunch of on-trend styles, which is always a win in my book.

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MEET THE AUTHOR

Bella Gil, Associate Commerce Editor

Because shopping is quite literally her full-time job, Bella is dedicated to making sure you spend your hard-earned money on products you’ll fall in love with. She spends her days testing, researching, and writing about a wide range of topics, from beauty products to rug cleaners and everything in between.



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13 Cozy Books to Get Wrapped Up in This Fall

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13 Cozy Books to Get Wrapped Up in This Fall


While October is the spookiest season of them all—and the perfect time to indulge in everything that goes bump in the night—sometimes a thriller book or horror movie simply isn’t what I’m looking for. Something about the beginning of fall makes me want to dive into cozier, more comforting content—endless Gilmore Girls rewatches, a really good fall playlist, and, of course, cozy books. There’s just something about settling in on a crisp October Sunday post-farmer’s market with a comforting read that is peak fall in my mind.

These cozy books will give you all of the fall vibes you know and love—and even a hint of spookiness, minus the nightmares. Heat a cup of your favorite tea, find the comfiest spot in your home, and get lost in one of these cozy low-stakes stories that will give you your fall fix and leave you able to sleep at night.


fall cozy books

T.J. Klune

The highly-anticipated sequel to TJ Klune’s beloved novel, The House in the Cerulean Sea, is finally here. Arthur Parnassus has worked hard to build a stable, safe, and loving home for the six magical orphans in his care. But when Arthur’s called to make a public statement about his dark past, he finds himself at the helm of a fight for the future that his family, and all magical people, deserve.

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And when a new magical child hopes to join them on their island home—Arthur soon realizes they’re at a breaking point: their family will either grow stronger than ever or fall apart.


fall cozy books

Lucy Jane Wood

Belladonna Blackthorn hasn’t lost her magical spark, but she hasn’t seen it in a while, either. Balancing work at her beloved Lunar Books with protecting it from her toxic boss, who’s running it into the ground, and all the while concealing her witchcraft from the non-witches around her—Belle is burnt out. Perfecting the potential of her magic is the last thing on her mind.

But when her 30th birthday brings a summons from her coven, and a trial that tests her worthiness as a witch, Belle risks losing her magic forever. With the month of October to fix things, and signs that dark forces may be working against her, Belle will need all the help she can get.


fall cozy books

Laurie Gilmore

When a secret message turns up hidden in a book in the Cinnamon Bun Bookstore, Hazel can’t understand it. But as more secret codes appear between the pages, she decides to follow the trail of clues, enlisting the help of gorgeous and outgoing fisherman, Noah. Luckily for Noah, who is always up for adventure, it’s the cute bookseller he’s been crushing on for months who needs his help.

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Hazel didn’t go looking for romance, but as the treasure hunt leads her and Noah around Dream Harbor, their undeniable chemistry might be just as hot as the fresh-out-of-the-oven cinnamon buns the bookstore sells.


fall cozy books

Richard Osman

Steve Wheeler is enjoying retired life. He does the odd bit of investigation work, but he prefers his familiar habits and routines: the pub quiz, his favorite bench, his cat waiting for him when he comes home. His days of adventure are over: adrenaline is daughter-in-law Amy’s business now.

Amy Wheeler thinks adrenaline is good for the soul. As a private security officer, she doesn’t stay still long enough for habits or routines. Then, a dead body, a bag of money, and a killer with their sights on Amy have her sending an SOS to the only person she trusts. A breakneck race around the world begins, but can Amy and Steve stay one step ahead of a lethal enemy?


fall cozy books

Lindsay Wicked

Holly Celeste and her sisters make the best apple cider in Maine—courtesy of a magical secret ingredient—but even that hasn’t been enough to keep their orchard afloat. To save the family business, Holly accepts a proposal to let a ghost-hunting series film an episode on her farm. Connor Grimm may be the sexy and down-to-earth TV host the nation loves, but to Holly he represents her greatest fear: exposure.

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Intent on keeping Connor in the dark, Holly joins him as he interviews eyewitnesses, hunts for old records, and unearths a story even she didn’t know existed. Despite her resolution to dislike him, she begins to fall for the only man who’s ever made her feel like strange could be normal.


fall cozy books

Tarah DeWitt

Stand-up comedian Farley Jones is on her way to stardom. The only thing she loves more than the rush of telling jokes in front of a revved-up audience is her manager, single dad Meyer Harrigan, who doesn’t have a clue. When the biggest opportunity of Farley’s career comes along and forces the pair to fake date in order to stir up publicity, it doesn’t take long for their act to bring all those other funny feelings out into the open. Like most matters of the heart, it quickly begins to feel like anything but a joke.


fall cozy books

Sophie Sullivan

Lexi Danby is looking for some no-strings, fall fun. Once a college track star, she was forced to drop out when her father passed away. When her comically bad waitressing lands her directly in the path of a handsome, charming, mega-wealthy stranger named Will, Lexi may just have found the distraction she’s been looking for. Their first date looks promising until a misunderstanding at a party thrusts Lexi and Will into a fake engagement they can’t talk themselves out of. Amid apple picking in comfy flannels, outdoor breweries in the crisp air, and fun Halloween preparations, Lexi starts to realize the scariest part of the season might just be taking a chance on love.


fall cozy books

Sarah Beth Durst

As a librarian at the Great Library of Alyssium, Kiela and her assistant, Caz—a magically sentient spider plant—have spent the last decade sequestered among the empire’s most precious spellbooks. That is, until a revolution begins and the library goes up in flames, forcing Kiela and Caz to flee to Kiela’s childhood home.

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In need of income, Kiela identifies something that even the bakery in town doesn’t have: jam. With the help of an old recipe book her parents left her and a bit of illegal magic, her cottage garden is soon covered in ripe berries. But magic can do more than make life a little sweeter, so Kiela risks the consequences of using unsanctioned spells and opens the island’s first-ever and much-needed secret spellshop.


Julia Seales

Beatrice Steele has never fit the definition of what her small English township considers a “true lady.” Her needlework is terrible, she has no affinity for music, and her art is so bad it frightens people. To make matters worse, she has an embarrassing obsession with true crime. But when eligible bachelor Edmund Croaksworth comes to town, Beatrice promises her family she’ll be on her best behavior so that her sister may win Croaksworth’s heart. However, Croaksworth drops dead at the autumnal ball, and all bets are off. As the party descends into chaos, Beatrice partners with an alluring detective to find the killer before someone else gets hurt. This mystery is perfect for fans of Bridgerton and Pride & Prejudice.


fall cozy books

Kate Goldbeck

When Ari and Josh first meet, the wrong kind of sparks fly. They hate each other instantly. Ari is the free-spirited kind of girl who takes gigs and never sleeps over after a hookup, and Josh dreams of cooking meals for The One in his spotless kitchen while he takes the culinary world by storm. They really only have one thing in common: they’re sleeping with the same woman.

Years later, Ari and Josh are both reeling from ego-bruising breakups and a chance encounter leads to a surprising connection: friendship. As friends-without-benefits, they find comfort in late-night Netflix binges, swiping through each other’s online dating profiles, and bickering across boroughs. It’s better than romance. Until one night, the unspoken boundaries of their platonic relationship begin to blur.

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fall cozy books

Ashley Poston

Florence Day is the ghostwriter for one of the most prolific romance authors in the industry. She just has one problem: after a terrible breakup, she no longer believes in love. Her handsome new editor refuses to give her an extension on her deadline, and Florence fears she may have to kiss her career goodbye. Things take another turn when she receives a devastating call beckoning her back to the small town she left behind and has no desire to return to. When she eventually does return to the funeral parlor her family runs, she’s greeted by a literal ghost. And not just any ghost— it’s the ghost of her infuriatingly-handsome editor who’s just as confused about why he’s there as she is.


fall cozy books

Sangu Mandanna

Mika Moon is one of the few remaining witches in Britain. In order to keep her identity a secret, she keeps her head down and stays away from other witches so as not to draw attention. She does a pretty good job of this, save for the silly little online account she uses to post videos of herself pretending to be a witch. It’s a harmless joke, right? Wrong. Mika receives a mysterious message asking her to come to the Nowhere House to take over the teaching of three young witches. Despite this being a bad idea and going against the rules she (mostly) followed, Mika decides to go. Once there, Mika begins to view her new charges and the other residents of Nowhere House as a family of sorts. If only she didn’t have to deal with the librarian, Jamie, who can’t find it in himself to trust a newcomer.


fall cozy books

Veronica Henry

Nightingale Books, nestled on the main street in an idyllic little village, is a dream come true for book lovers, but Emilia Nightingale is struggling to keep the shop open. She’s thinking of selling, but that would mean breaking the hearts of her most loyal customers.

There’s Sarah, who has used the bookshop as an escape in the past few years, but it now seems there’s a very specific reason for all those frequent visits. Next is roguish Jackson, who, after making a complete mess of his marriage, now looks to Emilia for advice on books for the son he misses so much. And the forever shy Thomasina, who has a crush on a man she met in the cookbook section, but can hardly dream of working up the courage to admit her true feelings. How to Find Love in a Bookshop is the delightful story of Emilia, the unforgettable cast of customers whose lives she has touched, and the books they all cherish.

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garri chaverst

MEET THE AUTHOR

Garri Chaverst, Senior Managing Editor

As Senior Managing Editor of The Everygirl, Garri oversees the pitching, planning, and creation of all content. You might also find her name pop up as a contributor throughout the site, though she mostly works behind the scenes. Though comfortable writing a story on any topic at the drop of a hat, Garri shines in the pop culture sphere. If you’re looking for in-depth coverage of entertainment properties or book recommendations, she’s your girl.

 

 



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Living Room Layout Ideas to Make the Most of Your Space

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Living Room Layout Ideas to Make the Most of Your Space


When it comes to designing a room, choosing furniture in the right sizes, styles, and finishes is only half the battle. You also have to determine how to arrange each piece so the room feels balanced and liveable. Because if there’s one design mistake that will make a room feel awkward and unwelcoming, it’s a wonky furniture arrangement. Unless you have a trained eye, it’s the kind of thing you might not notice right away, but after living in the room for a while, you might find yourself wondering why something feels off. Figuring out the right layout is always a bit of a puzzle, but luckily, there are a few simple rules that you can apply in any space to help you find the right fit. And if you’re really stuck, I also pulled together some no-fail living room layout ideas that you can easily replicate.

Whether you’re designing a room from scratch or itching to rearrange your current setup, keep scrolling for all the tips and ideas you need to find the best living room layout for your space.

Rules to Follow When Arranging Living Room Furniture

Every room is different, but a few basic design rules can apply to almost any space. Keep these guidelines in mind as you work out your living room arrangement:

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Choose a focal point

Before you start playing around with the layout, you need to determine the room’s focal point. In some cases, this is obvious: The TV is the clear focus of many living rooms (mine included). The focal point could also be a fireplace, a wall of built-ins, or a window with a great view. Whatever it is that immediately draws your eye when you walk into the room, that’s what you’ll want to build your furniture arrangement around.

Work with (not against) the room’s orientation

To put it simply, the shape of your furniture arrangement should mimic the shape of the room. Generally, the easiest way to adhere to this rule is to arrange your largest furniture piece (often the sofa) so it runs parallel to the longest stretch of wall. That way, the shape of your furniture will align with the orientation of the room. If, instead, you placed the sofa perpendicular to the wall in a long, narrow room, the layout would look choppy and disrupt the flow of the room.

Account for traffic flow

You need to be able to comfortably move through your space without bumping into furniture or feeling like you’re just barely squeezing past. In general, you should plan to leave about 30 inches of space between furniture in areas that you often use as a walkway. If space is tight, you can cheat that distance a little bit—just make sure you’re not cutting it too close, or you’ll curse yourself later when you’re constantly banging into things as you walk past.

Make sure each seat has a table within reach

No matter where you’re sitting, you should have a surface within reach where you can set down a drink or a book without having to get up. This will make your everyday life easier and is crucial for entertaining, too. That may mean you simply need to pull your furniture in closer, or you may need to bring in some additional accent tables alongside your seating. Keep in mind that about 16-18 inches is the ideal distance between the sofa and coffee table—this allows you to easily reach your drink or put your feet up while still leaving enough space to move in between.

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Living Room Layout Ideas for Any Size Space

1. Balanced Living Room Layout

living room layout ideas
Graphics by: Caitlin Schneider
living room layout ideas
Source: Emily Henderson Design | Photo by Ryan Liebe

This is the exact furniture arrangement you’ll find in my living room. This layout is a classic for a reason: It feels balanced, is simple to replicate, and can work for both lounging and entertaining. To make sure your arrangement looks proportional, make sure the width of your sofa is about equal to the width of the accent chairs and table on the other side. For an easy variation on this layout that feels more casual, angle the two chairs in toward each other instead of facing them straight toward the sofa. If you have a small living room, the backs of your sofa and chairs may be nearly touching the walls, and that’s OK! In a larger room, you can “float” your furniture away from the walls and use an area rug to anchor the arrangement.

2. TV-Focused Living Room Layout

living room layout ideas
Graphics by: Caitlin Schneider
living room layout ideas
Source: @ispydiy

If you primarily use your living room for plopping down on the couch and watching TV (no shame in that), this layout idea is for you. By placing the sofa directly across from the TV and arranging chairs on either side, you ensure that every seat has a good view of the screen. Be sure to place the chairs far enough away from the sofa that you can walk in between, and choose a rectangular or oval coffee table so each seat can comfortably reach it.

3. Small Living Room Layout

living room layout ideas
Graphics by: Caitlin Schneider
living room layout ideas
Source: @francois_et_moi

This asymmetrical layout works well in small living rooms where space is at a premium, but you still want to have a couple of different seating options. Here, the sofa will likely get the most use on a daily basis, and the accent chair acts as a sort of “bonus.” You could either treat it as an opportunity to bring in a fun style or color that adds to the design or consider it standby seating that you might utilize when you have guests over. If your living room opens to another area (like a kitchen or dining space), the chair can also serve to close off the living space a bit so it feels more defined. If you have the space, you could add something opposite the chair (a floor lamp, plant, or pouf are all great options) to make the room feel more balanced.

4. Narrow Living Room Layout

living room layout ideas
Graphics by: Caitlin Schneider
living room layout ideas
Source: @amybartlam

This layout proves that big furniture can totally work in a small space, and sometimes, it’s actually the best option. For a narrow living room, one large seating option (like a sofa with a chaise) can be much more practical than trying to fit multiple pieces into a tight space. Place the sofa directly across from your focal point with accent tables on either side and a round coffee table or ottoman tucked in front. The round shape will help you easily maneuver around the table without worrying about banged knees. If you need additional seating for guests on occasion, keep a slim side chair or a pouf along one wall and pull it out when you have company.

5. Formal Living Room Arrangement

living room layout ideas
Graphics by: Caitlin Schneider
living room layout ideas
Source: Emily Henderson Design | Photo by Tessa Neustadt

This living room layout idea definitely requires a larger room, but if you have the space (and budget) for two sofas, it can be very chic. To make this work, you either want to use two identical sofas or choose ones that are similar in size. It’s totally OK to mix materials and styles between the two sofas for an eclectic look, but the scale should be similar to make it look balanced. Split up the two sofas with a rectangular or oval coffee table in the middle, and consider adding accent tables along the sides if you want more spots to set down a drink or a book.

6. U-Shaped Living Room Layout

living room layout ideas
Graphics by: Caitlin Schneider
living room layout ideas
Source: Studio McGee

For a large living room, a U-shaped arrangement is a great way to use up the available space while still making your seating area feel cozy and intimate. Start with a sofa facing straight toward your focal point, then add in a loveseat and chairs on either side to create a “U.” Again, make sure the two sides are balanced in scale. You could also replicate this arrangement with an L-shaped sectional in place of the sofa and loveseat. Either way, make sure to leave enough space between the pieces so you can enter into the arrangement without it feeling like a squeeze. A square coffee table or ottoman in the middle will make sure all sides have equal access to a surface.

Jessica friedhoff senior lifestyle editor

MEET THE AUTHOR

Jessica Friedhoff, Senior Lifestyle Editor

Jessica Friedhoff is the Senior Lifestyle Editor at The Everygirl, where she oversees the Home & Living category of the site. She has nearly seven years of experience reviewing products, covering trends, and creating inspiring content around all things home.





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35 Healthy Slow Cooker Recipes You Can Meal Prep This Week

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35 Healthy Slow Cooker Recipes You Can Meal Prep This Week


If you are looking to eat healthier while saving time and money, then you’ll definitely want to get acquainted with your slow cooker. This trusty appliance lets you simply dump in ingredients, set it, and forget it. That means you can easily whip up yummy, nutritious meals that would otherwise require way too much time in the kitchen. And especially as cooler weather settles in, it’s time to add some cozy slow cooker recipes to your regular meal prep rotation. 

We’ve rounded up 35 healthy recipes you can throw together in the slow cooker to make your life easier this week. They all create a big batch, so you can whip one up on Sunday and have meals prepped for the whole week. Or freeze the rest for meals down the road! Whether you are vegan, vegetarian, paleo, dairy-free, or gluten-free, these slow cooker recipes will satisfy everyone:

Source: Show Me the Yummy

If your go-to comfort meal involves a block of ramen and a seasoning packet, trust me—I love those, too. But you can elevate your basic bowl of ramen with just a little extra effort. Simply prep your ingredients, toss them in, and let the crockpot work its magic.

Source: Ambitious Kitchen

It can be difficult to find weeknight meals that are healthy and delicious but don’t take up too much of your precious time. This slow cooker yellow chicken curry checks all those boxes and packs in tons of flavor, too.

Source: Kristine’s Kitchen

This recipe might just give you the juiciest, most flavorful chicken of your life—all with a hands-off approach. The herbed sun-dried tomato sauce is an irresistible addition that will have your mouth watering.

Source: Recipe Runner

I feel like a broken record this fall because I can’t stop telling everyone how excited I am for chili season, but once you try this recipe, you won’t be able to stop raving about it either. If you love Italian food, you’ll be obsessed with this Italian twist on classic chili.

Source: Life Made Sweeter

There’s no need for takeout with this tasty slow cooker Kung Pao Chicken. It offers all the convenience and is even more delicious.

Source: Half Baked Harvest

This meatball orzo is the perfect choice when you can’t decide between a creamy, comforting dish and a bright, zesty dinner. It effortlessly combines both flavor profiles and is incredibly easy to whip up.

Source: Chungah Rhee of Damn Delicious

There’s nothing that will fuel you to get through the week like a filling dinner of chicken, broccoli, and potatoes. Plus, the garlic sauce in this recipe is so creamy and delicious that you’ll want to put it on literally everything you cook.

Source: Our Salty Kitchen

Take taco night (or burrito night or bowl night) to the next level with this smoky chicken tinga slow cooker recipe. It’s incredibly versatile, allowing you to serve it in various ways, all of which taste great.

Source: Erin Clarke of Well Plated

This beef and broccoli packs more flavor than your typical recipe, and all the cooking happens in the crockpot, requiring minimal effort on your part.

Source: Eating Bird Food

Now that fall is officially here, it also means that cold and flu season is lurking around the corner. When everyone around you is getting sick, it’s important to have a soup recipe you love on hand to make you feel better, and this easy chicken and wild rice soup is just the thing to perk you up.

Source: Isabel Eats

Stuffed peppers are a staple in my household. If you don’t already make them often, you’ll love how tasty, customizable, and time-saving they are, especially when you make them in the slow cooker.

Source: Fit Foodie Finds

The Thai green curry, coconut milk, and fresh lime juice come together to make this coconut curry chicken recipe irresistible.

Source: The Girl on Bloor

Don’t be fooled—this is not your typical, bland chicken and rice. It’s so creamy that it’s hard to believe it’s healthy, but it’s made with brown rice, veggies, and chicken broth rather than the typical canned soup.

Source: Whole Kitchen Sink

Beef bourguignon may seem like a fancy dish that would require too much effort on a weeknight, but with this recipe, it’s ready in a snap. Serve it as a stew or over some mashed potatoes for an unmatched dinner.

Source: Sweet Peas and Saffron

Whether you follow a vegan diet, are trying to eat more plant-based, or simply appreciate a good recipe regardless of whether it contains meat, you’re guaranteed to love this vegan tikka masala. Not only does it taste fantastic, but it also freezes well, making it a great option for meal prepping.

slow cooker recipes
Source: Half Baked Harvest

If you’re looking for a chicken tortilla soup with a bit of a kick to warm you up on chilly fall nights, this spicy crockpot recipe is a must-try.

slow cooker recipes
Source: The Real Food Dietitians

We all know and love a good baked potato, but now imagine a perfectly baked sweet potato stuffed with tangy, spicy shredded buffalo chicken. Prep takes only 15 minutes, and then the slow cooker takes over from there.

Source: Pinch of Yum

As incredible as fall is, there are days when the cooler weather and shorter days can make you feel a bit sluggish. My favorite remedy for those days is a hot bowl of detox soup. This one is full of protein, fiber, and potassium—it’s just what you need to help you feel fabulous.

slow cooker recipes
Source: Gimme Some Oven

With this vegetarian chili, you won’t even miss the ground beef because it’s so delicious without it. It’s the perfect warm and comforting dish for fall.

Source: Host the Toast

No matter what your favorite soup is, you have to admit that none has mass appeal like chicken noodle soup. This recipe takes it up a notch with the addition of buffalo sauce.

slow cooker recipes
Source: Erin Clarke of Well Plated

This recipe proves you don’t need noodles to create a showstopping lasagna. It has just the right amount of sauce and cheesiness, and on top of that, it’s low-carb and high in protein.

Source: Eating Bird Food

This recipe allows you to make a vegetarian Mexican casserole with quinoa, black beans, and taco seasoning entirely in the slow cooker. Who doesn’t want a 10/10 meal that only requires 2/10 effort?

slow cooker recipes
Source: Closet Cooking

This slow cooker honey garlic chicken is bursting with flavor and makes a fantastic fridge staple for topping rice, sandwiches, quesadillas, and any other dish that could use a boost of protein.

slow cooker recipes
Source: Lexi’s Clean Living

If you’re looking for a no-frills chicken soup recipe that might just make the best bowl you’ve ever had, look no further. This recipe also freezes well, so you can enjoy it whenever you need an extra dose of comfort.

slow cooker recipes
Source: Half Baked Harvest

The only thing better than getting takeout is enjoying the same dish without having to leave your home at all. That’s exactly what this crockpot creamy cashew chicken recipe with rice and naan offers.

Source: Oh, Sweet Basil

With fall comes football season, and this healthier version of sloppy joes is just the thing to eat while tailgating or hosting a watch party. You can even make it ahead of time and store it in the fridge or freezer, then reheat it when you’re ready to serve.

Source: Ambitious Kitchen

If turkey sloppy joes aren’t your thing, this slow cooker pulled chicken recipe is a great alternative that tastes just as good. Or, make both!

Source: Cooking Classy

I’m obsessed with creamy tomato soup, and honestly, I didn’t think it could get any better—until I came across this recipe that adds cheesy tortellini. After trying it, you’ll never want tomato soup without it again.

Source: Chelsea’s Messy Apron

When you need something hearty, healthy, and easy, this slow cooker recipe never fails. Just put everything in the crockpot, and once the Mexican quinoa is done, add toppings like sour cream, salsa, and avocado.

Source: Cotter Crunch

This recipe isn’t your traditional chili—it swaps the typical beans for sweet potatoes and is completely paleo. It’s a unique twist on chili that tastes amazing.

slow cooker recipes
Source: Half Baked Harvest

This recipe makes butter chicken easier to cook, healthier, and more delicious. Served alongside naan and rice, it’s the perfect slow cooker meal.

slow cooker recipes
Source: by Erin Clarke of Well Plated

One thing about me: I love a meatball. On a sub, with pasta, by itself as an appetizer—name a meatball-focused dish, and I’m a fan. Make this recipe in a crockpot and add it to any dish of your choice for an easy, delicious dinner.

slow cooker recipes
Source: Chelsea’s Messy Apron

This vegetarian soup is a nutritious meal packed with plant-based protein. It’s delicious as is, but if you’d like to add some meat, shredded chicken pairs wonderfully as well.

slow cooker recipes
Source: Creme de la Crumb

Seafood lovers, meet your new favorite slow cooker recipe. This jambalaya is bursting with bright Cajun flavor, featuring sausage, chicken, shrimp, rice, vegetables, and a bold blend of seasonings.

slow cooker recipes
Source: Fit Foodie Finds

To make this honey sriracha, you only need five ingredients and 10 minutes of prep time. Then, you’ll have a mouthwatering dinner ready to enjoy.



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