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Royalty Brown Joins Chris Brown & Jada Wallace’s Son In New Pic

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Rihanna Seemingly Addresses Baby Rumors, Talks "Little Pouch"

Aww, Roomies! Royalty Brown has the internet gushing after she dropped a sweet flick posing alongside her dad Chris Brown, Jada Wallace and her baby brother Arrow. The heartfelt moment has fans here for Chris in daddy mode, while others are loving to see Royalty on big sister duties.

RELATED: Breezy Family Tree! Everything To Know About Chris Brown’s Children And Their Mothers (PHOTOS + VIDEOS)

Royalty Brown Melts Hearts With Sweet Family Moment

Recently, Royalty Brown dropped a sweet family flick of her posted up with Chris Brown, Jada Wallace and their son Arrow. Royalty made it clear that she’s loving her big sister duties as the photo sees her snuggled up with her baby brother, while Breezy and Jada cheese extra hard clearly soaking up the family love. Royalty might have fans in their feelings after seeing her in big sis mode, but she’s actually been holding down that title for a minute since she’s the eldest of CB’s kids. Breezy also has a son, Aeko with Ammika Harris and a daughter, Lovely Brown with Diamond Brown.

Fans Can’t Get Enough Of Royalty’s Adorable Family Moment

After The Shade Room posted the photo of Royalty with her baby brother, Chris Brown, and Jada Wallace, the comment section was flooded with heart-eye emojis. Some fans said Royalty and baby Arrow are twins, while others couldn’t get enough of Chris in daddy mode.

Instagram user @maleah_147 wrote, Awww so cute 😍😍😍” 

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Instagram user @feefeefigure wrote, Twins omggg Royalty 😍😍” 

While Instagram user @mo_didthat wrote, Jada looks like one of his kids lol they’re cute though.” 

Then Instagram user @iambrendak wrote, I don’t even care what a hater wanna say about Chris Brown, he don’t play with his kids. 🤏🏽 #teamBreezy” 

Another Instagram user @beauone____ wrote, “Jada looks so much like a teenager to me every time I see her 😂. I be having to remind myself she is a grown woman 😂” 

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Instagram user @rednyc_ wrote,😍😍😍😍 adorable. Love this for them.” 

Then another Instagram user @j4ysh4 wrote, wait this is so cute 🥹” 

While another Instagram user @lulu_la_veganbod wrote, Chris as a Dad is so cute 🥰🤍” 

Finally, Instagram user @madamezaazaa wrote, “Their son is a cutie and Royalty is getting so big 😍” 

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Royalty Previously Popped Out To Celebrate Jada’s Birthday

Royalty’s family time with Chris and Jada comes after they all recently celebrated Jada’s birthday together. A video surfaced showing them vibing to Yung Miami’s ‘Spend Dat,’ while Chris took over the clip with his goofy energy, bumping into Royalty and Jada as the song played. Peep the video below.

 

RELATED: Congrats! Chris Brown & Nia Guzman At Graduation As She Shouts Out Her Siblings (PHOTO + VIDEO) 

What Do You Think Roomies?

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Taylor Swift’s Studio Session Fuels Wedding Mystery

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Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift may have sparked fresh album rumors with her latest late-night recording session, but insiders claim the superstar is working on something far more personal. 

As speculation swirls around her upcoming wedding to Travis Kelce, sources say Swift has been quietly crafting a heartfelt love song dedicated to her fiancé. 

With wedding plans reportedly entering the final stretch, the singer’s latest studio visit has fans wondering whether her next release could double as the ultimate wedding gift.

Taylor Swift
AdMedia / MEGA

Taylor Swift sent fans into a frenzy this week when she was spotted arriving at New York City’s famed Electric Lady Studios.

Swift reportedly spent nearly ten hours inside Electric Lady Studios, arriving shortly after 8 p.m. Monday and leaving around 6 a.m. Tuesday.

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The sighting immediately fueled rumors that the Grammy Award winner was secretly working on her next album. However, according to a source, Swift’s latest project may have nothing to do with a new record cycle.

Instead, the insider claims the pop star has been focused on creating something specifically for Kelce. “Taylor is creating a beautiful love song for her future husband. She has been writing it for the past few weeks, she’s very excited about it,” the source told the Daily Mail.

According to the insider, the track is shaping up to be “a sweet ballad” featuring “a hypnotic chorus.” The song is also expected to offer a glimpse into the private side of the couple’s relationship.

“The lyrics will be about what makes their relationship click and will hint at the special, private moments they have had together,” they added. 

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Swift Could Debut The Song On Her Wedding Day

Taylor Swift
AdMedia / MEGA

The reported plan doesn’t stop with writing and recording the track. Sources claim Taylor Swift may be preparing to unveil the song in a way only she could.

According to the insider, the 36-year-old is considering performing the ballad during her wedding reception before releasing it publicly on the same day.

“It seems like Taylor has been recording the song in New York City as a single to be released on her wedding day, that sounds like a move she’d make, but who knows,” the source explained.

The insider pointed to a similar move made by another music star. According to them, “Blake Shelton released his wedding song for Gwen [Stefani], We Can Reach the Stars, and put it on one of his albums – so it’s been done before.”

Taylor Swift May Have Bigger Plans Than Just One Song

Taylor Swift
ZUMAPRESS.com / MEGA

While the wedding track alone would be enough to excite fans, insiders suggest there could be even more music on the horizon.

“There has been talk that she will record an entire wedding album, but that is a lot, who knows,” the source said.

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Still, those familiar with Swift’s creative process believe such an ambitious project would not be impossible. 

The insider pointed out the star’s fast writing skills as well as her multiple ideas, noting that it would be a piece of cake. 

Even so, another source cautioned that details surrounding any music tied to Kelce remain tightly guarded. 

They explained, “She’s always writing and recording, but if she were writing a song for Travis, that’s not something she’d share with a lot of people. That’s just not her style.”

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Swift And Kelce Continue To Guard Wedding Details

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Depart Or'esh Restaurant in NYC
MEGA

As excitement builds around the pair’s rumored wedding, very little has been officially confirmed.

Reports have suggested that a large celebration could take place at Madison Square Garden on July 3, while other insiders believe a smaller ceremony may happen first at Taylor Swift’s Rhode Island estate.

Some sources have even speculated that the Madison Square Garden rumors could be intentional misdirection designed to keep the real plans hidden.

Despite conflicting reports, insiders insist there is significant anticipation surrounding whatever the couple has planned.

The pair have reportedly gone to extraordinary lengths to keep details under wraps, with sources previously claiming guests were required to sign nondisclosure agreements before receiving information about the event.

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As a result, every public appearance and social media sighting has become a source of intense scrutiny.

Taylor Swift Appears Relaxed As Wedding Rumors Intensify

Taylor Swift Exits Via Carota After Dining With Friends
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While fans continue searching for clues, sources say Swift herself remains remarkably calm. This week, attention shifted to reports of bachelor and bachelorette celebrations happening on opposite sides of the country.

Travis Kelce was spotted enjoying a night out with friends, including brother Jason, at Bird Streets Club in Los Angeles.

Meanwhile, activity reportedly increased at Swift’s Rhode Island mansion, where heightened security and several guests were observed on the property.

According to reports, Swift’s childhood best friend Abigail Anderson Berard was seen holding a child on one balcony, while four women gathered on a rooftop terrace nearby.

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Despite the mounting speculation, insiders insist neither Swift nor Kelce appears overwhelmed by the approaching wedding.

“She doesn’t seem stressed about the wedding or details at all. She’s been relaxed leading up to it and it’s all been business as usual,” a source said.

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Anna Faris addresses why she left “Mom” and didn't return for the final season 

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The actress departed the popular CBS sitcom in 2020, after seven seasons.

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Alicia Keys experiences technical difficulties during Knicks parade performance

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Once tech issues cleared up, Keys performed “Empire State of Mind” for the crowd.

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Planned “Police Academy” reboot starring Key and Peele was canceled after Michael Brown killing in Ferguson

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Ike Barinholtz says he was writing a “dirty, rated-R, modern” version.

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Jelly Roll And Bunnie Xo Speak Out After Divorce News:

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Jelly Roll and Bunnie XO at the 68th GRAMMY Awards Pre-GRAMMY Gala

Jelly Roll and Bunnie Xo are speaking about the breakdown of their marriage a few days after reports of their divorce spread. On June 15, several publications reported that the singer filed for divorce from his wife of 10 years in May, the same month they separated. Soon after, speculations about their split quickly made the rounds online.

The former couple has now spoken out separately, addressing the speculations head-on and debunking claims. Their comments offer a clearer picture of where they stand amid the ongoing chatter.

Jelly Roll and Bunnie XO at the 68th GRAMMY Awards Pre-GRAMMY Gala
ADM/Capital Pictures / MEGA

Jelly Roll is in the middle of a tour, and during a performance in Saratoga Springs on June 18, the singer talked about his divorce from Bunnie Xo in front of his fans, a clip of which was uploaded to his social media.

“While we’re talking about liars, the internet is a liar too,” Jelly Roll prefaced, adding it was the only time he was going to talk about his relationship and urging the audience to take out their phones and record.

“Me and my wife are best friends, we will always be best friends. I will love her. She will probably be the only woman I’ll ever love the way I loved her,” Jelly Roll shared. He said they just spoke on the phone earlier that day and addressed one of the rumors, saying, “Nobody cheated on nobody.”

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The Singer Declared His Love For Bunnie Xo

Jelly Roll also urged the crowd to watch Bunnie Xo’s podcast, where she spoke about their separation and divorce. “She just did a whole podcast about it. You can go watch it. Every word of it is the truth,” the singer continued.

On June 18, Bunnie Xo released an episode of the “Dumb Blonde Podcast” titled “The Divorce” and shared what transpired before their separation and their plans moving forward.

“That will be my best friend forever. This is the only time I will ever speak about it. Bunnie, I love you, baby. Thank you for those 10 years. They were incredible. Thank you for the next 10 years of friendship, and 20 beyond that,” Jelly Roll said in front of the audience, who were cheering for him.

Bunnie Xo Had A Fight That Led To Divorce

Bunnie Xo and Jelly Roll at CMA Awards
MBS/MEGA

On her podcast, Bunnie Xo shed some light on what led to her separation and divorce from Jelly Roll. The podcaster admitted that she and the singer “never argued” in their relationship and were bad at handling disagreements. “So, he would be holding things in. I would be holding things in, and that’s a recipe for disaster,” she explained.

She and Jelly Roll argued on Mother’s Day, but didn’t disclose what it was about. Bunnie Xo was “fed up and so tired” that she told her husband, “Well, then file the f-cking divorce papers.”

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“In our relationship, that is the one cardinal thing that you don’t say, even though my husband has said it numerous times. But, when I say it, it really holds weight because I’m not the type of person who says what I don’t mean,” Bunnie Xo added.

Bunnie Xo packed a bag and left Jelly Roll, and they didn’t communicate for weeks afterward.

The Podcaster Said The Divorce Wasn’t Mutual

Bunnie XO at the 60th ACM Awards
MBS/MEGA

Bunnie Xo said her husband was “so mad,” and he did exactly what she told him to do. As The Blast previously reported, the singer filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences, on May 18 after 10 years of marriage.

The podcaster shared that the decision wasn’t mutual, and she wanted to give the marriage a chance by going to therapy to “figure sh-t out.” However, Jelly Roll thought differently. “It was not mutual. Even though I told him to file the divorce papers, I was speaking out of anger and frustration,” Bunnie Xo said.

Regardless, Bunnie Xo has come to terms with the fate of their marriage, adding that what happened was a necessary “wake-up call” that led them to have difficult conversations.

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Bunnie Xo And Jelly Roll Are Still Having A Baby Together

Before the divorce filing, both Bunnie Xo and Jelly Roll openly talked about wanting to have a baby together. In her memoir, which was released in February, the podcaster revealed that they had found a surrogate.

It seems the divorce isn’t putting a damper on those plans, as Bunnie Xo shared that they will still be having a baby together. “We’re going to co-parent together. J is my best friend. Like, this isn’t what you guys think this is. Nobody cheated on the other person. It’s literally just we served our purpose for each other,” she explained.

She continued to say that while the public seems to dwell on their past, they are looking forward to the future, saying,”Being happy and healthy and best friends through this is probably the biggest gift that we could have given each other.”

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Jen Affleck Pregnant, Expecting Baby No. 4 With Husband Zac

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Feature The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Stars Jen Affleck and Zac Affleck Relationship Timeline

Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star Jen Affleck and her husband, Zac Affleck, are expanding their family again with baby No. 4.

Showing off her baby bump in a carousel of photos posted via her Instagram on Thursday, June 18, Jen shared the happy news. “Chapter Four. 🤍,” she captioned the post.

Jen, 27, and Zac, 29, met on the Mormon dating app Mutual in 2018. The pair tied the knot the following year and went on to welcome kids Nora, 4, Lucas, 2, and Penny, 11 months.

The couple’s pregnancy announcement comes two months after fans speculated that Jen and Zack were experiencing marital trouble, as the influencer did not wear her wedding ring in a tearful TikTok video discussing her “next chapter.”

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“In the last two to three years, so much has happened,” Jen said in the April video, noting that her family had moved five times in one year. “Between two babies, reality TV show, Dancing With the Stars, moving, identity, faith, life crisis, I’m very hopeful for this next chapter of my life.”

Feature The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Stars Jen Affleck and Zac Affleck Relationship Timeline


Related: Secret Lives of Mormon Wives’ Jen and Zac Affleck’s Relationship Timeline

Courtesy of Jen Affleck/Instagram Viewers have a lot of opinions about Jen Affleck and Zac Affleck‘s marriage after watching their relationship play out on The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. The couple started dating in 2018 and got married one year later. After expanding their family twice, Jen and Zac joined the cast of Hulu’s […]

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The Dancing With the Stars alum continued, “There are parts of me that I feel like have healed, and then there are parts of me where old patterns have shown back up. I’ve been hoping through my vulnerability that I can help heal myself. I’m hoping that in this next chapter of my life I can find my faith again … while also holding space for who I am at my core and not trying to change that.”

Noting that she got married at 19 and became pregnant a year later, Jen pointed out that she never “had time to figure out who Jen is.”

“I’m still trying to figure that out. I just desperately want to be able to show up for my kids and show up as the best version of myself,” she added.

Jen Affleck Celebrates Baby Shower for Baby Number 3


Related: Jen Affleck Addresses Comments Calling Her Pregnancy a ‘Band-Aid Baby’

Jen Affleck directly addressed The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives viewers who call her third pregnancy a “band-aid baby” after her brief separation from Zac Affleck. “I know a lot of people call it a band-aid baby. They can call it whatever. But truly finding out where pregnant was the biggest blessing,” Jen, 25, exclusively […]

Jen and Zac have been open about their marital struggles in the past, with season 2 of Mormon Wives documenting their brief separation.

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“[We went through] lots of therapy. When I say lots of therapy, I mean eight hours a week,” she exclusively told Us Weekly in May 2025 ahead of season 2’s premiere. “We really went all at it.”

Jen continued, “We wouldn’t have been able to get through season 2 — honestly season 1 or season 2 — without therapy. And filming definitely isn’t a comfortable thing for Zac. I think it’s definitely harder for him to be vulnerable. So that was him really trying to break through that during season 2. Even though there’s a lot of tough conversations we need to have on and off camera, it was all helpful in the end.”

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How Tyra Banks Can Win Lawsuit Against Netflix

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Derek Hough Wasn't 'Surprised' When 'DWTS' Let Tyra Banks Go As Host

Tyra Banks broke the internet last weekend when it was revealed that she was suing Netflix for defamation after the streaming giant released a documentary about the downfall of her reality TV show, “America’s Next Top Model.” In the documentary, in which Banks participated, the Victoria’s Secret supermodel talks about some of the show’s biggest scandals and takes responsibility for sometimes going “too far.” However, in her bombshell lawsuit against Netflix, Banks is accusing the streamer of deliberately manufacturing a false narrative by editing her interviews to portray her in a negative light.

Derek Hough Wasn't 'Surprised' When 'DWTS' Let Tyra Banks Go As Host
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Rachel Bennett, a certified family law specialist, spoke with Us Weekly about Banks’ shocking lawsuit and revealed whether the superstar model has any grounds to sue Netflix for defamation.

“It’s actually a really interesting claim, because generally documentary producers enjoy broad creative agency over how to edit and how to put together footage, and that’s all under the First Amendment,” said Bennett.

She went on to say that documentary creators typically have the “creative freedom” to edit interviews in ways that may portray them negatively, so long as the edit “is not completely false.”

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“Where it crosses a line into defamation is where something is so heavily edited that it completely manufactures facts that are just objectively not true,” she said.

Tyra Banks Sues Netflix, Claims The Streamer Purposely Edited Her Interview To Portray Her In A Bad Light

Tyra Banks being captured by paparazzi.
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Banks filed her lawsuit against Netflix on Saturday, June 13, claiming that her appearance in Netflix’s “Reality Check: Inside America’s Next Top Model” was defamatory and edited to paint her in a negative light.

“Tyra Banks participated in the Netflix documentary series America’s Next Top Model (‘ANTM’) because she believed viewers deserved a candid conversation about the show’s legacy—its successes and its shortcomings,” part of the suit reads. “There are aspects of the show for which Ms. Banks takes accountability, and she wanted ANTM viewers to hear that from her directly.”

In her lawsuit, Banks accuses Netflix of using only 16 minutes of her three-hour interview in the docuseries, leaving critical bits of information on the cutting-room floor to shape a narrative that would elicit a negative response.

“Viewers of a documentary do not expect manufactured drama or constructed narratives. They expect facts. Because they were promised a documentary, that is exactly how viewers interacted with the Netflix Series,” the lawsuit continues.

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Tyra Banks Says She Went ‘Too Far’ In Netflix Documentary About Modeling Competition Show

The “America’s Next Top Model” documentary was released in February 2026, and in the three-part series, Banks opens up about the good, the bad, and the ugly.

She also revisited some of the modeling competition show’s most controversial moments, including the race-swap challenge, the homeless photoshoot, and the devastating makeovers.

“I knew I went too far. It was very, very intense, but you guys were demanding it, so we kept pushing it, more and more and more,” she said.

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Who Was Part Of The ‘ANTM’ Docuseries?

Jay Alexander on set of "Reality Check."
Netflix

Banks wasn’t the only person from “America’s Next Top Model” involved in the series. Also featured were former judges Miss J. Alexander, Jay Manuel, and photographer Nigel Barker. Executive producer Ken Mok was also part of the series, as well as past contestants Dani Evans, Shandi Sullivan, Shannon Stewart, Ebony Haith, Keenyah Hill, and Whitney Thompson, according to Netflix’s Tudum.

Banks Addressed The Show’s Controversies In February 2025

The Netflix docuseries wasn’t the first time Banks publicly addressed her shortcomings as they relate to “America’s Next Top Model.” In February 2025, the mother of one spoke at the Essence Black Women in Hollywood Awards and shared an emotional statement about the challenges she faced while working to create positive change in the fashion industry.

“Over 20 years ago I created a show called ‘America’s Next Top Model,’” she said. “And you guys have no idea how hard we fought to bring the diversity to that television show at a time when it didn’t exist; to show different beauties at a time when the world was like, ‘What? You casting that?’ A time when people in the fashion industry were telling me, ‘You putting the girls from the hood on your show?’”

Banks explained that she fought for women from diverse backgrounds and with different body types to be featured on the series, calling it a “struggle” she eventually overcame. “Did we get it right? Hell no. I said some dumb s–t,” she continued. “But I refuse to have my legacy be about some stuff linked together on the Internet when there were 24 cycles of changing the world. And I am so excited that I, and so many of us, have opened that door for others to follow.”

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Bunnie Xo Breaks Silence on Jelly Roll Split, Reason Revealed

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Jelly Roll and Bunnie Xo

Bunnie Xo has broken her silence after her estranged husband, Jelly Roll, filed for divorce after nearly 10 years of marriage,

Opening up on the Thursday, June 18, episode of her “Dumb Blonde” podcast, Bunnie, 46, detailed the argument that led to her and Jelly Roll, 41, calling it quits.

“J and I have never really been good at having disagreements. So, we were the type of couple who never argued. So, he would be holding things in. I would be holding things in, and that’s a recipe for disaster,” Bunnie explained on the podcast. “We always preach you gotta be comfortable having the uncomfortable conversations, and we did that for eight years in. Then the past year and a half, we kind of got away from that because, we’re in a different life right now.”

Bunnie added that a fight they had on Mother’s Day in May was the straw that broke the camel’s back. During the argument, Bunnie said she told him to “file the f***ing divorce papers.”

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Jelly Roll and Bunnie Xo


Related: All the Signs Jelly Roll and Bunnie Xo Were Heading for Divorce

Jelly Roll and Bunnie Xo‘s divorce comes as a shock to many — but there were clues about their split leading up to the news. The pair got married in 2016 before Jelly Roll became a household name. Amid his rise to stardom, Bunnie supported Jelly Roll as he used his platform to candidly address […]

“On Mother’s Day, we had a little bit of an argument, which I don’t think the details are necessary,” she explained. “And, in that argument, I was so fed up and so tired that I just looked at him and said, ‘Well, then file the f***ing divorce papers.’”

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Bunnie explained she would never threaten divorce unless she meant it.

“In our relationship, that is the one cardinal thing that you don’t say, even though my husband has said it numerous times,” she noted. “But, when I say it, it really holds weight because I’m not the type of person who says what I don’t mean.”

She added that despite their split, the pair are looking toward the “future” and remaining “best friends.”

Us Weekly confirmed on June 15 that the musician filed to end his marriage one month prior, submitting a divorce petition in Tennessee on May 18. He was seen at the 2026 CMA Fest in Nashville earlier in June, where he performed on stage without a wedding ring on.

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Bunnie, for her part, posed in lingerie on her Instagram Story hours before the divorce news, writing, “She’s getting her sparkle back.” In a separate Story, she shared the quote, “Come here, let me show you what love feels like.”

The former couple, who got married in 2016, were candid about the challenges they faced in their marriage. Before their breakup, Bunnie wrote in her memoir, Stripped Down, that she and Jelly Roll broke up multiple times throughout their relationship.

Bunnie also claimed in her memoir that Jelly Roll was “used to having multiple relationships at the same time with different women.” They initially “both frowned upon monogamy.”

“That’s not to say that we agreed to go f*** whoever we wanted whenever we wanted — to me that’s what an open relationship is, and we aren’t in one. But if a girl wanted to come home with us, we more than likely wouldn’t turn her down,” she wrote. “Now, here comes the part that might surprise you. J has always told me that I can sleep with other men if I want to.”

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She continued: “We argued about it many times until I finally just accepted the fact that that’s who he is. I’m not going to try to change him into something he’s not — and I started to agree with him. We both live by the motto that we aren’t each other’s possessions and consider our relationship to be free, not open. Free will. Which means: I’ll give you the world sexually, but don’t f***king lie to me or ever let me be the last to know something.”

Jelly Roll and Wife Bunnie XO s Relationship Timeline


Related: Country Star Jelly Roll and Wife Bunnie XO’s Relationship Timeline

Jelly Roll and Bunnie Xo were brutally honest about the ups and downs of their relationship throughout their near decade-long marriage. Following two stints in jail — Jelly Roll (real name Jason Bradley DeFord) was arrested for aggravated robbery at 16 and served one year before being incarcerated for drug dealing at the age of […]

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Before Stripped Down was released in February, Bunnie spoke exclusively to Us about why she didn’t skip over the rough moments in her marriage.

“I tried to be as real as possible with the situation,” she shared at the time. “I think I might have even toned it down. It’s just really important to be real. My husband is my best friend. I f***ing love that man — and we have been through hell.”

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The content creator noted how she learned that “love isn’t always pretty.”

“It’s raw, it’s emotional and it’s a journey,” she added. “I’m so happy for people who have never had to go through anything traumatic in their relationships. But I just feel like my husband and I had to go through that because it’s part of our testimony. It’s a part of what we’ve survived — we choose to be together every day.”

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Amanda Kloots turns late husband Nick Cordero's ashes into a diamond ring

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The lab-grown black diamond is 5 carats and set on a 14k rose gold band, which Kloots designed with a friend.

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The Battlestar Galactica Episode With A Secret, Sexy Musical Parody

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The Battlestar Galactica Episode With A Secret, Sexy Musical Parody

By Chris Snellgrove
| Published

Strange New Worlds has been a generally beloved Star Trek show, one that proudly carries the banner of The Original Series. However, the show has taken a few big, creative swings that rubbed fans the wrong way. This includes a musical episode, “Subspace Rhapsody,” that was pretty bad. Many musical fans like myself disliked it because the songs weren’t nearly as good as Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s “Once More, With Feeling.” Others disliked the premise itself, believing that a goofy musical episode didn’t really work for a franchise that has generally (minus the occasional episodes featuring Q, the holodecks, the Ferengi, etc.) taken itself seriously.

A musical episode is the last thing that you’ll get from Ronald D. Moore’s Battlestar Galactica. Former Star Trek writer Moore designed his series to be the tonal opposite of Trek in almost every way, realistically portraying humanity on the verge of extinction after a genocidal attack from a bunch of killer robots. Accordingly, most Galactica episodes are grim and gritty, but there’s one notable exception: “Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down,” a Season 1 episode that features a surplus of jokes and humorous situations. It also features a Strange New Worlds-esque musical parody: an opera song whose Italian lyrics are all about how sexy Tricia Helfer’s Cylon is!

Secret, Sexy Lyrics

“Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down” is the closest thing that Battlestar Galactica came to making a comedy episode. It still focuses on relatively serious stuff, including the returned Ellen Tigh making her husband’s alcoholism worse and Dr. Baltar’s ongoing work on the Cylon detector. But it’s also an episode where Ellen Tigh rubs her foot on Apollo’s crotch and makes every single social situation she’s in hilariously inappropriate. One thing that isn’t overtly funny is Baltar listening to opera while working in his lab. It’s easy to overlook because it’s such a trope. Intense British guy in space unwinding with opera? Patrick Stewart did it first, pal!

However, Baltar wasn’t listening to any established opera that anyone watching would be familiar with. This is actually an original song from Battlestar Galactica composer Bear McCreary. When the soundtrack came out for Season 1, the liner notes included a translation for the Italian lyrics. As it turns out, the song is very meta: it’s playing while Baltar is in his lab, talking and flirting with the Six Cylon that lives in his mind. Accordingly, the lyrics are about her as well as the bizarre situation Baltar finds himself in.

The lyrics to this custom Battlestar Galactica opera are as follows: “Woe upon your Cylon heart / There’s a toaster in your head/ And it wears high heels / Number Six calls to you / The Cylon Detector beckons / Your girlfriend is a toaster / Woe upon your Cylon heart / Alas, disgrace! Alas, sadness and misery! / The toaster has a pretty dress / Red like its glowing spine / Number Six whispers / By your command.”

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Lyrics Explained? By Your Command

Most of the lyrics have a pretty straightforward meaning. Six is one of the Cylons, which the Battlestar Galactica crew has nicknamed “toasters.” The song focuses on how she’s Baltar’s “girlfriend” and how she “wears high heels” and “has a pretty dress,’ a reference to Six’s iconic outfit. Speaking of red, the song mentions the red, glowing spines that Cylons display when having sex. The song also speaks to Baltar’s anxiety that his detector will reveal that he is secretly a Cylon. As for “by your command,” that’s a twofer: it references how Six instructs Baltar and references a line frequently uttered by the Cylons in the original Battlestar Galactica series.

The song is pretty solid, especially if you’re a fan of opera. The lyrics are a little silly, but that’s fine: again, “Tigh Me Up and Tigh Me Down” is the silliest episode of Ronald D. Moore’s Battlestar Galactica. When making the show, Moore decided to lean in and create a science fiction show that was absolutely nothing like Star Trek. But in a stunning irony (or maybe, as Six says, through the will of the one, true god), Moore ended up doing a cheeky sci-fi musical parody decades before Strange New Worlds did it!


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