The man told Coleen: ‘She’s rigid in her beliefs and her opinions do get to me’

Dear Coleen

I’m a man in my 20s and my parents don’t know I’m gay, as my mum in particular is ultra-religious and it wouldn’t go down well. I’m out to my mates and my siblings also know and are supportive, but I still can’t bring myself to have that conversation with my mum.

The thing is, she’s constantly at me about finding a girlfriend and the longer I’m without one, the worse it’s getting. I don’t know how to play this. I’m worried that I’ll snap one day and blurt it out.

Most of the time I can cope by ignoring it, as I don’t live at home and lead my life exactly how I want to, but when I visit her or we talk on the phone, the only thing she wants to know about is my love life.

I’m a grown man with a good job, so it feels ridiculous that I can’t deal with this, but you haven’t met my mum. She’s very rigid in her beliefs and her opinions do get to me. Any help on how to navigate this would be welcome.

Coleen says

I get it. It’s easy for people to say, “just be honest”, but it’s hard to do it when you’re anticipating a negative reaction and worried about how it might affect your relationship.

My mum was incredibly religious and a practising Catholic, but her beliefs didn’t mean more to her than her children.

I had a baby “out of wedlock” and my sister got pregnant by a guy my parents didn’t even know she was dating, but they didn’t cut us off. My sister got me to tell my parents she was pregnant so, by the time she spoke to them, the heat was taken out of it. Maybe this is where your siblings can help. Alternatively, you could ask one of them to speak to your parents first to lay the groundwork.

Maybe your mum suspects you’re gay and her asking questions about your love life might be her way of encouraging you to tell her. I have several gay friends who waited years to tell their parents and, when they did, the replies were along the lines of, “We know”.

Worst case scenario is she won’t understand or be accepting, which is so wrong but her issue to deal with, and over time with education and support, her attitude might change. There’s a great organisation called FFLAG (fflag.org.uk), which supports and guides families with LGBT+ loved ones.

Most importantly, if you do decide to tell her, do it when you’re in a good place and feel ready – there’s no rush. Get support from people who’ve been through it, as well as your siblings and friends. Good luck.

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Police in Australia have marked the 25th anniversary of the murder of British backpacker Peter Falconio by releasing new images from their investigation, in the hope it ‘could lead police to Peter’s remains’.

Bradley John Murdoch was convicted in 2005 of murdering Mr Falconio, 28, and assaulting his girlfriend, Joanne Lees, at gunpoint on a remote stretch of road in Australia’s Northern Territory on July 14, 2001.

Mr Falconio and Ms Lees, both from Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, were travelling across the country in a camper van when they were ambushed by Murdoch on the isolated Stuart Highway.

Murdoch was convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment without parole for at least 28 years.

He died in prison last year after being diagnosed with terminal throat cancer in 2019, but never revealed the location of Mr Falconio’s remains.

To mark 25 years since Mr Falconio’s murder, Northern Territory Police have released previously unseen images from the case.

Northern Territory Police Force commissioner Martin Dole APM said the force would exhaust every possibility to find Mr Falconio’s remains and bring closure to his loved ones.

‘This was a traumatic and horrific event for Ms Lees, and for Peter’s family who have now gone such a long time without the answers they deserve,’ he said.

‘While a murderer has been held accountable for his crimes, this investigation can never be considered closed until Peter’s remains are found and his family can lay him to rest.

‘It is deeply regrettable that Murdoch died without, as far as we know, ever disclosing the location of Peter’s remains. His cowardly silence has denied his family, friends and loved ones the closure they deserve.’

He continued: ‘Twenty-five years is a significant milestone, and the Northern Territory Police Force remains committed to bringing this investigation to its fullest conclusion and will continue to pursue every avenue available.

‘The release of new footage could lead police to Peter’s remains. There may still be someone who knows something, whether that be information they have never previously shared with the police or something Murdoch said to them.

‘We continue to urge anyone with information relating to the location of Peter Falconio’s remains to come forward. No piece of information is too small; what may seem insignificant could prove critical in helping investigators finally resolve this case.’

A reward of up to 500,000 Australian dollars (£260,000) has been offered for any information that leads directly to the discovery of Mr Falconio’s remains.

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According to media reports, the feud began after a fallout between Ross McGill, the former head of Rangers Football Club’s ultras fan group the Union Bears, and convicted Edinburgh drug dealer Mark Richardson – who is currently in prison.

The force said it responded to 84 incidents of violence and disorder, arrested 64 people and executed 55 search and arrest warrants.

Seven firearms and “assorted weapons” were recovered, and over 90 safeguarding plans were put in place to protect vulnerable people caught up in the feud.

Of the Operation Portaledge cases which have come to court, several have resulted in lengthy jail sentences.

Arran Reid was imprisoned for eight years and four months after admitting carrying out a machete attack on an Edinburgh businessman linked to Richardson.

One resident said they find it ‘completely unacceptable’

Residents said it is “deeply concerning” that their post has not been delivered in weeks, after experiencing similar delays earlier this year. People who live in the Hampton area of Peterborough claim they have not had post delivered for weeks, with some claiming they haven’t received any letters in more than a month.

As a result of the delay, people said they are missing important letters such as birthday cards and medical appointments. Sheila White, who has not received post in around two weeks, said she finds the delays “deeply concerning” and “completely unacceptable”.

She added: “I was waiting for important insurance documents, which I ended up having to contact the company to ensure continuity of the cover. In the UK, we have always had a reliable postal service upon which many people depend.

“Elderly people who can’t manage or cope with technology are now isolated and unable to rely on receiving relevant communications by post, which means they are potentially missing medical or other significant information and appointments.”

Sheila’s husband also did not receive a Father’s Day card from his daughter, which left him feeling “forgotten and sad”. Sheila added: “The excuse of lack of staff is utterly irrelevant. It’s their responsibility to deliver the service they are supposed to provide.”

A Royal Mail spokesperson said it recognises how “important reliable deliveries are”, when people are waiting for letters such as for medical appointments. They added: “We are delivering mail in Hampton. However, some deliveries have recently been affected by short-term local issues, including sickness absence.

“We are working to return the service to normal and clear any outstanding mail as quickly as possible, with items not delivered that day prioritised for the next working day.”

Phil Abbott, who lives in Hampton Vale, said he hasn’t received post in around five weeks. Due to the delay, he has missed “important medical appointments, business mail, birthday cards and bills to pay”. He said: “I think it’s absolutely disgraceful and a dereliction of contracted duties by Royal Mail.”

Phil said he believes there needs to be an improvement in communication from Royal Mail. He said: “Don’t just leave people hanging with no information. What are they doing to resolve the issue and what will they do to prevent it happening again?”

The last time Margaret Matthews received any post was around three weeks ago. She said she has missed insurance documents and believes the lack of post could affect elderly people who cannot access to the internet.

She said: “I’m 75 and quite computer savvy, and use them no problem. There are people who can’t because they have never used computers.”

Margaret believes there needs to be more regulation in place for the Royal Mail, as people pay for a “service”. She added: “Because it’s regulated, why are they not doing anything about it?

“It’s not just Peterborough, it’s nationwide. Surely they should be held to account for their responsibilities? They have got to get their staffing levels right.”

Kelvin Cowell said that after a couple of weeks with no post, he received a large load in one go. He said: “[This included] a new bank card, pin number, online banking details and a card reader for a new account, all of which were sent on different dates by the bank.

“Equally annoyingly, none of the post was recent, so who knows when that’ll start to turn up? It’s all well and good advising people to go to the sorting office and collect, but their hours aren’t great for those that work. We are paying for a delivery service and they’re clearly not meeting their commitments.”

Donna Spriggs hasn’t received letters in “up to four weeks”. She said: “When they did come, there was important mail that arrived late.

“[I have no] idea why we are not getting post regularly. They are saying we can collect from the sorting office, which we shouldn’t have to do and not everybody has transport.”

Samantha Mclennan is also frustrated that she hasn’t received post for “weeks and weeks”. She said: “I had to call them [Royal Mail] around two weeks ago as I was waiting on important hospital letters and important HMRC letters.

“They delivered approximately 15 letters about a week later, following my call. Some of the letters were dated May, and I’ve not received any post since then.”

The Royal Mail spokesperson said that it is “rare” for post to be delayed by a month or more. They added: “A delay of a month would be exceptionally unusual and would suggest an issue with an individual item rather than the wider service. Our latest performance shows that more than 92% of letters are delivered on time and over 99% within a week, meaning longer delays are rare.”

There is a depressing familiarity to the conversation among MPs about their safety.

It is a topic those on all sides will regularly reflect on in private, given the day-to-day impact it has on many of them.

But the latest news about counter terrorism police taking over the investigation into Ann Widdecombe’s death has brought back again, and in public, a discussion about how MPs can remain accessible and safe.

There was a sombre and reflective mood in the Commons on Monday afternoon as MPs both remembered Widdecombe – so many, whether they agreed with her or not, admiring her character and conviction – and pondered what more could be done to protect those in public life.

The longstanding Conservative MP Sir Bernard Jenkin said it was an “unfortunate statistical fact that as a member of parliament you are more likely to meet a violent death than a member of His Majesty’s armed forces or a member of the British police forces”.

Plenty, including those who have been MPs for decades, said it felt more dangerous than ever – and many blamed social media for contributing to an atmosphere where violent language and abuse had been normalised.

The former Conservative leader Sir Iain Duncan Smith said: “We need to reiterate, and the Government and the home secretary needs to specify, to all those social media companies they must do something to close down on the visceral, violent language that some people use, attacking personally – as they did over her murder – which has shocked me, to make sure we get on top of that because that is the root of violence and death.”

North Yorkshire Police said the incident happened on June 3 around 5.15am at an address in Columbus Ravine, Scarborough.

The occupier was woken by noise and saw a man in a private yard.

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When the resident shouted, the man fled towards Tennyson Avenue, police said.

It was later discovered that damage had been caused during the attempted theft.

The force has issued a CCTV image of a man it believes may have information which will assist its investigation.

A spokesperson for North Yorkshire Police said: “Anyone with information is asked to email samanthat.abel@northyorkshire.police.uk or visit the North Yorkshire Police website and use the “Tell us about” section.

“Alternatively, call 101 and quote reference 12260101878.

“Information can also be given anonymously to Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.”

The furious owner of a Mediterranean restaurant has started to ‘out’ diners who leave bad reviews – by posting CCTV footage of them enjoying the food they later criticise.

Pejman Zamani has run an eponymous eaterie in the Leicestershire market town of Ashby-de-la-Zouch for the past 36 years, selling Cypriot dishes like moussaka and stifado alongside pizza and pasta classics.

But lately Mr Zamani has become infuriated by the phenomenon of people leaving anonymous bad reviews online – which he says can be hugely damaging.

So this week the 65-year-old decided to strike back – in a move that would cause immense local controversy.

The trigger was a review posted on Google under the username ‘Anonymous’, claiming that a family’s first visit to Zamani’s had been ‘a very disappointing and expensive evening’.

After the diner explained that the food ‘didn’t live up to expectations’ and suggested the ‘tired’ interior could ‘do with a refresh’, Mr Zamani was outraged.

He responded by going through the restaurant’s CCTV footage to identify the woman he believes was behind the scathing review – and then published a screen grab of the party she was with.

The image shows a man dining with her giving a ‘thumbs up’ sign with both hands – in what he believes to be a sign of apparent approval – when approached by a female member of staff.

The Zamani’s restaurant owner claims CCTV footage shows a happy dining experience before a disappointing online review was posted

Posting the image on a local community site on Facebook, Mr Zamani, who had apparently already tracked the reviewer down and had an exchange of messages with them, wrote: ‘Well, well, well. Guess what?! She says it’s not personal!!

‘She writes a negative review anonymously…

‘Her and her husband finished everything, asked for their child’s pizza to be put in a box to take home, thanked my staff, he put two thumbs up!!

‘I am sure she has friends, not many, but look at the photos from my CCTV, with all the legal signage, and judge for yourself!!!

‘You damage mine, unfairly, I will expose you.

‘I will soon post her messages to me, asking me not to harass her as she really didn’t want me to know who she is!!!

‘That’s why this lady posted anonymously…’

While the posting has since been deleted, the review he is apparently referring to remains on Google.

In it, the unnamed female diner began by explaining her evening had started well saying: ‘This was our first visit, and we were really looking forward to it.

‘The restaurant has a lovely little courtyard, which was a great place to sit and enjoy a pre-dinner cocktail, and it gave a really nice first impression.’

But she went on to explain that ‘the food didn’t live up to our expectations’ and that the main courses were ‘disappointing’.

She continued: ‘The chips tasted like standard oven chips with very little flavour, which wasn’t what we’d expect for the price.

‘My chicken was swimming in an overly salty Diane sauce, while my partner’s herb-rubbed dish was dry.

‘The pizza was also disappointing – we left most of it. The base wasn’t the thin, crispy style we’d hoped for and was quite heavy instead.’

Of the rest of the experience, she said: ‘The service was polite but felt rather inattentive.

‘No one came to check whether we were enjoying our meals, and when our plates were cleared, nobody asked how the food had been or whether everything was satisfactory.

‘The interior also felt quite tired and could do with a refresh. Simple touches, such as tablecloths, would have made the tables feel cleaner, more welcoming, and added to the overall dining experience.’

Giving the restaurant two stars out of five for food, service and atmosphere, she summed up the experience saying: ‘Overall, it was a very disappointing and expensive evening. It’s a shame, as the setting has so much potential, but sadly the food and service didn’t justify the cost.’

On the community forum, a number of local residents said they were shocked by Mr Zamani’s outburst which one said happened ‘just because people don’t like food or decor’.

Zamani made a statement online saying the family finished all the food but still left a negative review

In response to Zamani’s post, one contributor said they wouldn’t visit his restaurant again

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One contributor wrote: ‘I didn’t see the review but this is bang out of line regardless.

Another, Amanda Hodgekinson, responded saying: ‘Yeah, I won’t be going again after seeing this post.’

A third wrote: ‘Zamani is getting quite a name on social media for his tantrums… really unprofessional and unnecessary.’

They appeared to be referring to a previous outburst by Mr Zamani which became the subject of headlines in a local news outlet in June.

A different female diner using the name Martina B, had given Zamani’s three stars in a review but had described the restaurant as looking ‘tatty and unloved’.

She complained that there were ‘very little’ Italian dishes on offer aside from ‘a big concentration of pizza’.

Martina said the restaurant had ‘no ambience’ and said her meal ‘felt rushed’, also complaining about ‘the loud banging from the pizza place next door’.

She said the only reason she did not score the restaurant ‘a two’ was due to the ‘very nice’ pasta dish that she had but concluded: ‘I doubt I’d go back’.

Mr Zamani once again took to monitoring the restaurant’s CCTV footage to challenge the review which he said had ‘upset’ his business.

He did not share images on that occasion but instead used the footage to provide a timeline of the woman’s visit to the restaurant.

In a Facebook post he said the diner ordered at 7.33pm before the starter was served at 7.39pm, with the plate cleared 10 minutes later at 7.49pm then mains served at 8.05pm.

Addressing elements of the review he did not like Mr Zamani said: ‘A number of pasta dishes and pizzas on the menu haven’t changed for over 20 years. The specials have always been extremely variable.

‘The young chap in the pizzeria dropped a tray, by accident, we are terribly sorry about that.

‘Unfair and unjust review. I am not happy.’

Complaining about negative reviews more broadly, Mr Zamani – who is also a local councillor – said: ‘Why do people feel the need to upset a local business and its staff?

‘If you don’t like it, for whatever reason, just don’t come back again, we won’t miss you and you obviously won’t miss us. Simple.’

He concluded the message saying: ‘Signed: Pejman Zamani. The passionate and loving owner of the business for over 36 years.’

Regular customers say that, while fiercely protective of his staff and his business, Mr Zamani is the consummate ‘convivial’ host.

After 36 years running his restaurant, Pejman Zamani says protecting his business and staff is personal

In response to Zamani, another contributor said ‘how can you post someone’s photo because they posted a negative review’

Over the years, Zamani’s has had hundreds of positive reviews on various forums and his restaurant is rated overall with 4.6 stars on both Tripadvisor and Google.

As well as the restaurant with its al fresco dining space, the venue has a wine bar and a popular cocktail bar and regularly hosts live music events on Sunday afternoons.

An AI summary of reviews on Tripadvisor says: ‘Zamani’s Restaurant is popular among many travellers for its relaxed and inviting atmosphere, featuring soft lighting and live music.

‘The decor, while authentic, is noted by some as slightly dated. Guests frequently praise the delicious and varied menu, with standout dishes like pizzas and homemade pastas.

‘The restaurant is celebrated for offering excellent value, with generous portions and reasonable prices.

‘Service earns accolades for its friendliness and attentiveness, though a few have mentioned occasional rushed interactions.’

Mr Zamani has also been flooded with messages of support since his latest posting which he said he had taken down because it was ‘affecting’ his wife Kate.

He said: ‘She is not like me, she likes a calm, peaceful life! She didn’t want me to respond at all but the more I watched the video the more it wound me up.’

Explaining his reaction to one supporter he said: ‘I take it very personal, it’s not really been a job for the last few years, it’s been more like a lifestyle and a duty but don’t know how I feel right now about it all.’

Thanking loyal customers he said: ‘I am temperamental, Kate is cool and laid back.

‘In order to save my marriage everything is deleted but, be assured, not forgotten.’

Mr Zamani has been contacted.

The Cat Gallery, founded by Peter and Alison Hanson, has grown over the years, becoming a thriving addition to York’s independent trading scene.

It is also said to be unique to the United Kingdom, if not the world.

The business began at 76 Low Petergate, which is now the Silvarious jewellery store, before moving after four years to 27 Stonegate, where Molly Browns clothing store is today.

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Then, in 2010, it moved to its current site at 45 Low Petergate, which was expanded to include an upstairs floor in 2023.

Marking the 25-year milestone, customers will be treated to a complimentary cupcake with any purchase from 10am to 11.30am on Thursday July 16.

Sterling Silver and Enamel Lucky Cats (Image: Pic supplied)

The popular shop will also unveil a limited-edition Italian-crafted sterling silver and enamel Lucky Cat collectible, made by Saturno.

Director Peter Hanson said: “My finance colleagues at Tesco thought I was mad to forego a comfortable existence to run a Cat Shop. The smiles I see on our customers faces every day tells me that this was the best career decision I ever made”

The couple launched the shop in 2001, after leaving careers in accountancy and relocating 200 miles from Welwyn-Garden City, north of London, to York.

The front cover of the 2001 catalogue (Image: Pic supplied)

Peter said: “In 2000, we decided to give it all up and to pursue our passion of running a cat shop. There was one in Brighton, Canterbury and Bath. One of the reasons we came to York is we wanted to get away from the competition.

“The other cat shops later stopped trading so York is the only place where there is a brick, click and flick (mail order catalogue) site. Nobody else in the world has a brick, click and flick cat shop.”

Their ecommerce site, thecatgallery.co.uk, went live on opening day in 2001, and just nine weeks later the couple issued their first mail-order catalogue.

The business grew over the years, with its latest expansion in 2023, following the launch of the shop’s ‘Lucky Cats.’

Peter said: “They were so successful, we expanded into the first floor and set up the Lucky Cat shop.”

However, it hasn’t all been plain sailing.

Peter said: “Over the years we have survived the loss of tourists after 9-11, the financial crash, Brexit, the pandemic and more.

“We have had our ups and downs. But business is solid, despite the headwinds and the pressures. We have a loyal customer base. We sell what people want. We hold our own and probably punch above our weight.”

Alfie and Charlie Peter, Alison’s cats (Image: Pic supplied)

The Cat Gallery is not only a retail success but also a supporter of feline welfare.

The business has raised more than £115,000 for cat-related charities over the past five years, £200,000 over the decade, through fundraising efforts including marathon runs and donations from Lucky Cat sales.

The shop also sponsors the York Cat Hunt, formerly known as the York Cat Trail, which guides visitors around the city to discover its famous cat statues.

The Hansons also manage catsinyork.com, the first website to document York’s cat statues and recommend a themed walking tour of the city.

Looking ahead, Peter, who is 59, expects he and Alison won’t be in the store for another 25 years.

He added: “We need to start thinking about the legacy and where our business goes. We have a fantastic team of people capable of carrying on for another 25 years.

“We have done the cat trail and hunt and we want that to continue. We will launch new and interesting lucky cats and continue to source the best quality merchandise.”

Have you been to the shop? What did you buy? What did you think? Please share your thoughts in the comments below. 

Dawn also gears up for her wedding to Joe Tate

Next week in Emmerdale will be filled with more secrets, revealed secrets and complications in the ITV soap. Serena explains everything to Robert about John, Charity opens up to another Dr Todd survivor, and Kev is troubled by his past.

It’s never quiet in the Dales, and over the last few weeks viewers have watched some very difficult storylines unfold. Charity finally told the truth to Mackenzie Boyd over Todd’s sexual assault and blackmail, as well as baby Leyla’s true parentage.

Dr Todd’s dead body was also shown in a flashforward, but her actual death has not yet appeared on screen, leaving viewers wondering who did the deed.

Meanwhile, Kev tried his hardest to prove he was a changed man as he wanted to start a relationship with his son, Lewis. However, he struggled to retain his calm when Ross Barton and Nicola King framed him from robbing the cafe.

Here’s what’s coming up next in the Dales…

Serena gets close to Ross

Kim discovers there has been an intruder at Home Farm, armed with a shotgun, she orders her tardy Head of Operations, Ross, to investigate and hands him a list of suspects. But Ross’ investigations get off to a bad start when he accuses Moira and she sends him packing. Soon he accuses Robert, leading to a physical fight with an enraged Aaron. Serena intervenes.

Once Ross has gone, Serena takes the opportunity to give Robert a full explanation about John and it is enough to persuade Robert to let her stay, despite Aaron’s continued wariness. Meanwhile up at Home Farm, Kim has discovered it was a USB stick that was taken.

With Robert still injured, Aaron offers Serena a job on the farm and soon she’s creating a situation to get Ross back in her orbit. Ross is flattered assuming it’s him she is interested in but what is her game?

Charity opens up to another survivor

Charity is left utterly defeated to learn the CPS won’t be pursuing Todd’s case due to a lack of evidence. Unwilling to let Todd get away with this, Mack and Vanessa begin to plot, believing they could perhaps uncover buried complaints at the hospital. Soon, Vanessa puts their plan in motion as she and Jacob meet privately with HR Rep Carol.

When Charity gets wind she’s heads to confront Vanessa but finds herself face to face with Helen, another of Todd’s victims. Helen doesn’t want to talk but when Charity quietly reveals how Todd raped her, it clearly strikes a chord with harrowed Helen. Will Charity get answers that can help her case?

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Kev worries when someone from his past shows up

Claudette convinces Kev to keep his Café job. Nicola, secretly happy he quit, tries to persuade Vinny, Mandy, and Lewis it’s for the best, only for Kev to surprise everyone by asking for his job back.

Learning Lewis’s birthday is near, Kev attempts to make up for missed years with gifts, but his overeager approach unsettles Lewis, much to Ross’s concern. Kev’s stress mounts when his old friend Steve suddenly arrives, and he warns him not to jeopardise his new life.

Cain, Graham and Kyle go camping

Cain is holding onto hope for his dog Monty’s health and seeks a second vet opinion, reasoning if radiotherapy can help him, it can surely help Monty too. Cain’s obsession with making Monty better causes him to be emotionally distant from Kyle and Moira. Kyle is struggling at Cadets and because Cain is dismissive about cadets, Kyle is too hurt to ask for help.

Moira’s attempts to reach out and to temper Cain’s expectations for Monty, go nowhere. When Cain learns the stark truth that Monty’s tumours are inoperable, it’s too much to take in. Soon, to avoid alone time with Moira, Cain takes Kyle camping, but is angered when Kyle invites Graham.

As the three set off on this ill-fated camping trip, Cain’s tensions with Graham escalate until Cain snaps, leading Kyle to chastise his father. Cain storms off. As darkness draws in, Cain falls down a hillside and traps his leg.

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Elsewhere in the village

Dawn is thrilled to finally have her wedding dress. Dawn’s clearly not happy about Billy dating Gabby. Whilst Gabby distracts Billy so she doesn’t have to eat the meal he’s prepared for her.

Emmerdale airs on weeknights at 8pm on ITV1 and is also available to stream on ITVX and YouTube from 7am.