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NewsBeat

Celtic fan group Thai Tims founder diagnosed with incurable brain tumour

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Daily Record

Paul Lennon, who founded the Thai Tims, has been diagnosed with Grade 4 Glioblastoma.

The Celtic fan founder of singing children’s group the ‘Thai Tims’ has been diagnosed with an incurable brain tumour.

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Paul Lennon, 60, who started the Good Child Foundation in Thailand and used Celtic songs to teach English to children with Down’s syndrome, is receiving palliative care.

He was diagnosed with Grade 4 Glioblastoma (IDH-wildtype), an aggressive form of brain cancer, earlier this year. Glioblastoma patients are typically given a life expectancy of between 12 and 18 months.

He has since returned home to be cared for by his family after undergoing major brain surgery.

The heartbreaking update was shared on Paul’s Facebook page by his family, who revealed he is currently unable to communicate following his operation.

They said: “Paul Lennon is very ill with a Grade 4 Glioblastoma (IDH-wildtype) brain tumour. He underwent a craniotomy to alleviate his illness and suffering, and because of this, Paul is currently unable to use Facebook or communicate with others.

“Paul has now returned home and is receiving palliative care.

“We would like to thank everyone for all the moral support sent his way, and we are deeply grateful to the Huddleboard and Celtic fans for never abandoning Paul and for coming together to donate towards his medical expenses. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

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“Throughout his life, Paul has always been dedicated to doing good deeds and helping others. May those good virtues return to watch over Paul during this incredibly difficult time.”

Just weeks before, Paul had shared the devastating news of his treatment with supporters.

On June 18, he wrote: “Today Is chemotherapy and radiation treatment on my brain tumour. Thoughts and prayers are very much appreciated at this terrible time.”

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Later that day, he added: “I hope all our charity efforts will look after us in these dark times.”

For more than 20 years, Paul, has devoted his life to helping children with Down’s syndrome in rural Thailand with his wife Pun, through their Good Child Foundation after son, Berni, was born with the condition.

Determined that children who had been excluded from mainstream education would be given opportunities, Paul taught them English by using the songs that echo around Celtic Park.

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The youngsters became affectionately known as the Thai Tims, with videos of them singing Hoops favourites attracting millions of views online and becoming a viral sensation.

The remarkable clips captured the imagination of supporters around the world and led to the children travelling to Scotland, where they performed at Celtic Park and appeared on Sky TV’s Soccer AM.

Paul also worked tirelessly to keep the memory of murdered Blantyre teenager Reamonn Gormley alive.

The Celtic-daft teen volunteered at the Good Child Foundation during a gap year in Thailand in 2010 and won the hearts of children there through his work and dedication.

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The following year he was stabbed to death in an attempted street robbery while walking home from the Parkville Hotel in his hometown.

Paul formed a partnership with Blantyre Soccer Academy in his memory and organised a series of tributes involving the Thai Tims kids.

The children recorded a special charity version of Just Can’t Get Enough in his honour, helping raise money for the Good Child Foundation and knife crime charity Crimestoppers.

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Paul also ensured the young Celtic fan’s legacy would live on by overseeing the construction of the Reamonn Gormley Memorial Hall at the charity’s school in Chanthaburi Province.

The pavilion, painted in Celtic’s famous green and white colours, was designed to provide a place where children can learn, perform music and take part in activities years after the Blantyre teen’s visit inspired so many.

His efforts have been supported by Blantyre Soccer Academy who donate thousands of pounds for the foundation, raised during their annual Reamonn Gormley Memorial Soccer Festival and Sportsman’s Dinner, held every May and June.

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Micah Richards learns of dad’s unexpected death just before BBC World Cup broadcast

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Wales Online

Micah Richards was told of his father Lincoln’s death just before he went on air for England and Argentina’s World Cup semi-final tie

BBC pundit and ex-England star Micah Richards has revealed he learnt of his father’s death moments before going on air for the Three Lions’ World Cup semi-final against Argentina.

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Richards was joined by presenter Mark Chapman, Manchester United legend Wayne Rooney and former Manchester City team-mate Joe Hart in Atlanta, having spent most of the tournament in a studio in Salford.

The BBC’s coverage had shifted to the United States for the latter rounds, just in time to air England’s almighty collapse and bitter 2-1 defeat to Argentina. Anthony Gordon had given Thomas Tuchel’s side the lead on 55 minutes, before they set up shop and conceded two late goals.

However, shortly after the match had concluded, fan-favourite Richards shared that he had been informed of his father’s death just before going on air for the semi-final.

Richards took to social media to confirm his father’s passing, posting: “Not long before going on air today, I received the awful news that my father Lincoln had passed away. His death was unexpected, and he has left us all too soon. He was my greatest fan. He barely missed a game my entire life.

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“He would take me wherever I needed to go when I was a kid and he was the proudest parent possible during my professional career. It was so rare for him to not be by my side. I know how much watching England World Cup games means to everyone at home, and how the experience bonds families together across the generations, like nothing else.

“I know, particularly as a proud old-school Yorkshireman, dad would’ve wanted the show to go on this evening. And so it did. Thinking of my siblings and all my wider family today as we remember my father Lincoln, my hero and inspiration.”

Richards has previously spoken of the profound influence his father had on his career path. He said in 2007: “I grew up in Chapeltown, a rough area of Leeds. There was all sorts of stuff – drugs and fighting. There is a point when you are 15 or 16 when you might want to get involved in it. There was definitely a temptation but I stayed grounded.

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“I have been able to deal with all the stuff that has come my way. That’s down to Dad. He’s brought me up well. My Dad is a strong character. He is very principled. He’s a Rastafarian. He has set standards for me.

“It’s been great to have that sort of person behind me but at the same time I learned how to be my own man. Dad’s always been here for me. He has missed only one game I have ever played in and that was my debut at Arsenal when I wasn’t even been supposed to be in the squad.”

Tributes from across the sporting world have poured in for Richards. Former Liverpool defender Jamie Carragher, who works alongside Richards on CBS, was amongst the first to reach out.

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“Sending love to you and all the family,” he said. Hart, who had been working beside Richards on Wednesday evening, said: “Sending love Meeks… here for you all. RIP Lincoln.”

“Sorry for your loss Micah,” commented Juan Mata. Ex-England international Jill Scott added: “Thinking of you and your family Micah.” Former Formula 1 champion Jenson Button said: “Praying for you brother, Sorry for your loss.”

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New footage emerges of Jude Bellingham clashing with jubilant Argentina players on the pitch as they celebrate sending England home from the World Cup

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Jude Bellingham clashed with Argentina substitute Valentina Barco after the semi-final

A new angle has emerged of Jude Bellingham‘s clash with Argentina’s stars after England‘s heartbreaking exit from the World Cup.

Bellingham was at odds with Valentin Barco, who did not even play in the match, in the aftermath of the Three Lions’ late collapse and 2-1 defeat in Atlanta.

It was clearly an emotional time for Bellingham, who has been one of the best players during the World Cup with six goals, and stood alone after the final whistle. 

The Real Madrid midfielder’s scrap was caught on television and now a new angle from high above has emerged, captured by a journalist from Spanish outlet Diario AS.

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In the build-up to the flashpoint, one Argentina player consoled Bellingham before a group huddled near him.

Barco then turned his head to say something – it wasn’t clear towards who or in which language – and shortly after, the England star seemed to snap.

Jude Bellingham clashed with Argentina substitute Valentina Barco after the semi-final

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He was also at loggerheads with defender Nicolas Otamendi as other players tried to stop them

He was also at loggerheads with defender Nicolas Otamendi as other players tried to stop them

Bellingham appeared to initiate the conflict by slapping Barco on the back of the head

Bellingham appeared to initiate the conflict by slapping Barco on the back of the head 

He went over to Strasbourg midfielder Barco and slapped him on the back of the head. 

The full-back then turned around and pushed Bellingham with tempers flaring. Nicolas Otamendi also came over and gave the England man a shove. 

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Several Argentinian players attempted to act as peacemakers, but it looked as if, even when they were separated, that Bellingham and Otamendi wanted more head-to-head action.

This came on the back of a highly passionate and rather thuggish game, so it is understandable that tensions were running high.

Ultimately, Argentina remained the calmer side when the going got tough. England took the lead via Anthony Gordon on 55 minutes, but quickly sat off, inviting pressure.

That, and the defensive substitutions made by Thomas Tuchel, proved to be England’s undoing.

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Enzo Fernandez struck a peach of a strike from outside the area after 85 minutes, before Lautaro Martinez broke English hearts with a header two minutes into stoppage time.

Bellingham, who has been so brilliant throughout the tournament, appeared pained at that. In seeming frustration at Jordan Pickford, who produced a number of impressive saves, he looked to the sky, stretched out his arms, and appeared to say: ‘It’s in the middle of the goal.’

Tuchel concluded to BBC Sport: ‘We’re disappointed, we were so close but we got too passive after we scored and conceded a lot of chances.

‘We could not turn the ball possession around and then conceded so many crosses, chances and shots. We were close but couldn’t keep the level up after we scored.

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‘Of course we wanted to go for the second goal but I did not have the feeling that offensive substitutions would help. We stayed in our 4-4-2 but we became passive, more and more passive.

‘We couldn’t win any balls, we couldn’t keep the ball so I think it was not a structural problem, we changed nothing. But the match changed completely.’

Harry Kane said: ‘I’m gutted for the boys, the team, the staff, the fans. We played a good game for the vast majority of it. Once we went 1-0 up, we seemed to try and hold on. At this level that’s not enough. Just gutted as we worked so hard to be here and the boys gave every last bit of sweat, blood, and tears.

‘We struggled to get pressure on the ball. Frist half, start of second half, we pressed well and put them under pressure. After the goal, whether it was them putting more men forward or us not being able to match them man-for-man, it was wave after wave. lads were putting blocks in but it wasn’t enough.

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‘The boys are ready for any moment. When we went ahead, the messaging was to go again and get another goal. Once they scored their two goals, it was to try and find something but we couldn’t get the momentum.

‘We had a lot of good moments in this tournament, a lot of good games. We’re close, we just need to find that missing piece in the final stage of the tournament. thee tournaments take it out of you, so much effort and pressure and mentality. We’re missing that final piece.’

Dan Burn added: ‘Absolutely gutted. I thought we had the gameplan pretty well for the majority of it. But obviously, when we scored, we went a bit passive and dropped off and were ultimately punished for it.

‘We probably conceded too many chances and if you do that, they are going to get goals. Disappointing from us. We have defended games better and seen them out. When you get that close to the World Cup final, that hurts.’

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Moment Met police rescue Argentina fan from baying mob of England supporters in Piccadilly Circus as Thomas Tuchel’s men crash out of World Cup

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Police in London escort an Argentina fan away from England supporters following the final whistle

This is the moment Met Police officers rescue a lone Argentina fan from a baying mob of England supporters in Piccadilly Circus.

Police were called into action to help remove the fan from an angry crowd on Regent Street St James’s in central London after Thomas Tuchel‘s team crashed out of the World Cup last night.

Footage from Piccadilly Circus shows Met officers escorting him away from the scene as England supporters can be heard shouting before they are pushed away. 

One officer shouts ‘stay back’ as the cops push England supporters away in an attempt to bring the fan, who is wearing an Argentina shirt, to safety.

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Other footage from Piccadilly Circus last night shows the Met trying to control a crowd of hundreds of people.

The Argentina fan is seen being led away by police as one officer holds on to his arm while others have their truncheons drawn, warning England supporters not to try and approach him. 

In one shot, more than half a dozen officers crowd around him to prevent the baying mob from getting face-to-face with him as they appear to shout abuse following England’s crushing 2-1 semi-final defeat at the Mercedes-Benz Stadium. 

The Argentina fan is then brought to safety after he is escorted into a police van as he holds his palms up in the air. 

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Police in London escort an Argentina fan away from England supporters following the final whistle

Hundreds of baying Englsand supporters crowd around the Argentina fan in Piccadilly Circus

Hundreds of baying Englsand supporters crowd around the Argentina fan in Piccadilly Circus 

Boos and chants of 'f*** Messi' are heard as officers escort the lone fan to safety

Boos and chants of ‘f*** Messi’ are heard as officers escort the lone fan to safety

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Officers shield the van from crowd as chants of ‘f*** Messi’ can be heard as well as synchronised ‘boos’ from England supporters. 

One England fan is captured climbing on top of a telephone box in the iconic central London square. 

Despite the team’s loss, supporters appeared jubilant as they cheered at the cameras filming the chaos while the Met tried to control the crowd. 

Some England supporters attempt to chase the van as it leaves the area but officers hold them back. 

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There is no suggestion of wrongdoing from the Argentina fan or baying England supporters. 

The man wearing the Argentina shirt appears to be a YouTube prankster known as Maciej, who in separate footage from last night posted on his TikTok shows him trying to rile up England fans. 

In the short clip, the social media personality, who has over 220,000 followers on the platform, is approached by an English man telling him to ‘get the f*** out of here bro’ before he is pushed.

Another man, wearing an England shirt, asks Maciej where he is from. The prankster replies by telling him he is from Argentina, when calls for him to leave the area are repeated. 

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The TikToker has previously posted videos claiming to ‘ragebait’ Tottenham Hotspur fans while wearing an Arsenal shirt.  

He brought to a police van which then drove away from the scene as England supporters attempted to chase after it

He brought to a police van which then drove away from the scene as England supporters attempted to chase after it

Police officers intervene and speak to fans in Atlanta as they try to keep the peace following Argentina's semi-final victory

Police officers intervene and speak to fans in Atlanta as they try to keep the peace following Argentina’s semi-final victory

He is then approached by several England supporters demanding he leaves, telling him to ‘jog on’ and ‘f*** off’, while a bouncer escorts him away. 

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Protesting, he asks: ‘Can I not support Argentina? What am I doing [wrong]?’ 

This is met by calls for him to ‘go home’, with one man telling him: ‘You can support Argentina but it’s not the right time.’ 

Maciej ends the video by talking to the camera, saying: ‘Someone’s crying. Who’s crying?’ 

There were clashes on the streets of Atlanta and Britain following England’s semi-final defeat to Argentina on Wednesday night.

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Fights broke out outside the Mercedes-Benz Stadium in Atlanta, Georgia after the final whistle confirmed the Three Lions’ 2-1 defeat to Lionel Messi’s side.

Police made multiple arrests as they stepped in to calm the situation, with pictures showing several England fans being detained by armed officers.

Meanwhile in London fans caused chaos as they took to the roads of the city centre. 

A police officer breaks up an argument between Argentina and England fans outside the Mercedes-Benz Stadium

A police officer breaks up an argument between Argentina and England fans outside the Mercedes-Benz Stadium

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Fans are arrested in Atlanta by armed police looking to separate the two sides

Fans are arrested in Atlanta by armed police looking to separate the two sides

US police stand guard in Atlanta as Argentina fans gather at the fan festival to celebrate

US police stand guard in Atlanta as Argentina fans gather at the fan festival to celebrate

Supporters react when Argentina scored to level the game 1-1

Supporters react when Argentina scored to level the game 1-1

England supporters react near the end as they watch the semi-final football match between England and Argentina at Boxpark Wembley

England supporters react near the end as they watch the semi-final football match between England and Argentina at Boxpark Wembley

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Tensions had already flared inside the stadium after Argentina took a banner from fans which claimed the Falkland Islands belong to the South American nation.

The Falklands conflict had loomed large in the build-up to the semi-final tie, with rival chants about the war featuring in fan zones around the city.

After the match was over, tens of thousands of fans flooded out of the stadium to the surrounding streets, with some disputes boiling over into violence.

England fans branded the behaviour of Argentina’s supporters ‘absolutely disgusting’ and warned that things will ‘kick off, 100 per cent’.

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The Atlanta Police Department deployed extra resources around the city, with officers lining the streets outside bars near the stadium after the crunch clash. 

Argentina and England fans outside bars near the stadium exchanged words – much of it Falklands-related. 

American police officers with large guns were seen placing both England and Argentina fans in handcuffs. 

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Manchester Airport to Blackpool North train cancellations

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Manchester Airport train fault causes delays today

The disruption is affecting services between Manchester Airport and Blackpool North, with train operator Northern warning that delays, cancellations, and changes to services are likely to continue throughout the day.

Trains through major stations including Manchester Piccadilly, Bolton, Chorley and Preston are being affected, with passengers advised to check before travelling.

Northern said via their website: “We apologise for the cancellation of this service today.

“If the train you have a ticket for is cancelled, you can travel on any Northern, TransPennine Express and East Midlands Railway service within 2 hours before or after your cancelled service was due to depart.

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“If you require any connecting services, please check information screens, visit www.nationalrail.co.uk/journey-planner or speak to a member of staff where available.”

Passengers who are delayed by 15 minutes or more may be eligible for compensation under Northern’s delay repay scheme.

Services that have already been cancelled include the 3.48pm, 4.48pm and 5.48pm departures from Manchester Airport to Blackpool North.

Southbound services from Blackpool North to Manchester Airport at 2.54pm and 3.54pm have also been cancelled, with further delays and cancellations expected as the fault continues to cause problems.

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Passengers are being urged to check the latest travel information before starting their journeys, and to allow extra time for travel or consider alternative routes where possible.

Further information and live updates are available on the National Rail website and Northern’s social media channels, including @northernassist on X.

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Dear Coleen: Mother-in-law is struggling and it’s taking over my life

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Daily Record

Dear Coleen

THIS is a bit of a delicate one so I need help on how to approach it sensitively. Sadly my father-in-law passed away a year ago, which was devastating for us all. We’ve been incredibly supportive to my mother-in-law but her constant presence in our lives is starting to affect my family.

She lives a few miles away but she’s always at our house, turning up unannounced at all hours and staying for days sometimes. At first it was OK but now it’s very disruptive and we’re always cancelling things for the kids because she doesn’t want to be on her own.

My husband and I have spoken to her friends and suggested social groups that would keep her busy and help her make new friends. We’ve also suggested grief counselling several times, but she won’t hear of it.

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My husband’s siblings live abroad so they’re not around to help and she’s reliant on us.

I have so much empathy for her but it’s so hard to deal with and causing arguments between me and my husband. What do I do?

Coleen says

Grief is so different for everyone. Your mother-in-law is feeling lost and grabbing on to what she loves most because it feels scary on her own. It may have been a year but, when you’re grieving a partner, it can feel like no time has passed at all.

It took a long time for my sister Linda to get back on her feet after her husband died. She stayed quite a while with me, then with our other sister and, when she went back home, she had different people staying with her. The difference is, she had therapy and would also call the Samaritans when she needed to vent.

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I think the point to gently get across to your mother-in-law is that, while you can carry on being supportive, you’re not professionals and are struggling a bit to know how to help.

It’s probably up to your husband to talk to her and ask how she thinks you can help. Maybe she just needs reassurance that if she’s struggling, she knows you’ll be there.

Reiterate to her friends that she’s struggling and ask them to check in and get involved. Maybe having some things in the diary to look forward to will help. Could your husband’s siblings arrange a visit or invite her over for a few weeks for a change of scene and routine? The hope is she’ll find moments of enjoyment and realise it feels good to start living again.

You can’t force her to have therapy but tell her about bereavement charity Cruse, which might help (cruse.org.uk; 0808 808 1677).

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‘Authentic’ Italian restaurant a favourite with locals announces closure

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Cambridgeshire Live

Following the announcement, customers said it is ‘such a shame’

A popular Cambridgeshire Italian restaurant is set to close its doors permanently, citing they will “cherish the memories”. Mangiare on Downham Road in Ely is set to close for good on Sunday, August 2.

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Its owners said that, “with a heavy heart” the restaurant will close. This isn’t the end of Mangiare though, as its other locations in Newmarket and Frinton-on-Sea remain in operation. The restaurant has thanked customers for all their support.

The Mangiare restaurant shared on Tuesday, July 15: “It is with a heavy heart that we announce Mangiare Ely will close on Sunday, 2nd August. A huge thank you to all our wonderful guests for your support over the years.

“It has been our pleasure to serve you, and we’ll always cherish the memories we’ve made together. And if you’re nearby, COME AND ENJOY the same delicious Italian food and friendly service at our MANGIARE NEWMARKET restaurant. Thank you for everything.”

In response to the news, diners commented that it is their “favourite restaurant” and that it is “such a shame” to hear. In a recent review on Tripadvisor, one customer wrote: “We visited Ely Mangiare today and I couldn’t fault any aspect of out meal or the service. The food was sensational.”

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Another previous customer wrote: “This authentic Italian ristorante offers great flavours, crowd-pleasing dishes, and a relaxed, friendly vibe.”

The vision of the restaurant comprised of the “finest Italian taste coupled with a relaxed atmosphere for a memorable experience”, according to Mangiare’s website.

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England’s World Cup dream dashed as Thomas Tuchel’s game plan falls to pieces

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England's World Cup dream dashed as Thomas Tuchel's game plan falls to pieces

Cruelly, the journey was brought to an end in Atlanta by the defending champions.

Enzo Fernandez scored with five minutes to go, then Lautaro Martinez two minutes into stoppage time, both of them assisted by Lionel Messi, the greatest player of all time, whose genius showed no sign of having waned.

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Dads Are Getting Real About Losing Their Identities After Having Kids

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Dads Are Getting Real About Losing Their Identities After Having Kids

We often hear about how becoming a mum can impact identity – just this year, a major survey of 4,000 women by Peanut found nine in 10 mums (93%) said they’d experienced a “meaningful change” in identity after becoming a parent.

More than half (59%) said they felt like a completely different person after having a baby.

But compared with motherhood, fatherhood and identity seem to receive less research attention and much less public discussion.

In online forums, some report a sense of feeling lost or no longer recognising themselves after having children. One dad described feeling “like a husk” of the person he used to be. Another described not having the energy for himself and feeling guilt over letting his “career, hobbies and friends slip”.

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Taking to Reddit more recently, a dad-of-three opened up about having the “realisation” that he doesn’t seem to have an identity outside of keeping his family running.

“Somewhere along the way I became the person who remembers everything. The grocery list. The camp forms. The appointments. The lunches. The laundry. The bills,” he said.

“None of those things are who I am. But together they’ve become what I do all day, every day.”

He added that he loves his family and loves being a dad, “but sometimes I wonder who I am when nobody needs anything from me”.

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“I struggle with this too. It’s hard,” said one of many replies.

Another parent chimed in: “I went out for drinks while my family was away last week and I realised I forgot how to do that … I have my work life where I run that place, and my home life where I run that place, but outside of those two things, I have a hard time existing.”

One parent noted they “worry” who they will be in 20 years when their child is an adult and leaves home, while another recalled how even a simple “how are you?” prompts them to answer about their family’s wellbeing, rather than their own.

Why do we struggle with our identity after having kids?

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It’s certainly not uncommon to feel like your identity shifts radically after having kids. Where once you only had yourself (and perhaps a romantic partner) to think about, now you’re also wholly responsible for another human – who relies on you for everything. They almost become an extension of you.

Dr Rebecca Lesser Allen, a clinical psychologist who works with families, said in her experience, identity loss begins when parents struggle to maintain space for their own perspective.

“In modern life, most parents begin organising their decisions around what the children need, what the household needs, what everyone else needs, and stop asking themselves: what do I enjoy? What feels meaningful to me? What kind of person am I becoming?” she said.

Rather than trying to return to the person you were before having children, the aim is to “continue growing and evolving while integrating parenthood into your larger sense of self”, she suggested.

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“Healthy identity isn’t about clinging to your pre-parent self or disappearing into the role of ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’. It’s about continuing to become a whole person.”

There is a lot of messaging in modern society that life needs to revolve around children, but Dr Lesser Allen wants to see a shift away from this idea that kids should be the organising principle of family life.

“We often receive the message that being a good parent means optimising every aspect of childhood – meals, sleep, enrichment activities, emotional development, schedules, weekends – and that a devoted parent should always put themselves last,” said the psychologist.

“That pressure is exhausting, and I don’t think it’s serving parents or children particularly well.”

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How to regain a sense of identity after having children

Brook McKenzie, a chemical dependency counsellor and CEO for Burning Tree Programs, a long-term treatment centre for people struggling with addiction, said he often sees the long-term consequences “when a parent’s entire identity becomes wrapped up in their child”.

“Being a father is an enormously important part of a man’s identity, but it can’t be his entire identity,” he said.

“Children are supposed to need us differently as they grow. If Dad’s sense of purpose depends on remaining indispensable, he may unintentionally keep doing for his children what they need to learn to do for themselves.”

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His advice to fathers in a similar position is to avoid asking, “Who am I when nobody needs me?” and instead ask, “Who am I choosing to become while my children are becoming who they are?”.

“Go back to the parts of yourself that existed before everyone needed something from you,” he advised parents. “Friendships. Marriage. Work. Faith. Fitness. Curiosity. Hobbies. Whatever was genuinely yours. And if some of those things no longer fit, build something new.

“The goal of fatherhood isn’t to remain necessary forever. It’s to raise children who can eventually stand without you – and to still have a life worth living when they do.”

Research suggests benefit from growing up in families where parents maintain a healthy sense of self and strong adult relationships, while remaining emotionally connected to their children, Dr Lesser Allen pointed out.

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Instead of waiting until you have a free Saturday to reconnect with yourself (which could be a while, let’s face it), she urged parents to “invite your children into the life you already value”.

“If you love hiking, bring them hiking. If you enjoy gardening, you can let them help. Or give yourself permission to do it while they potter around and interrupt and bother you that they’re bored,” she said.

Kids might say they’re bored and wish they were doing something else – and that’s alright. They’ll be OK. She continued: “Give yourself permission to sit on the couch in the middle of a busy Saturday, read a book, and tell your kids ‘I’m not available right now.’

“Children don’t need every activity to be designed around them. They benefit from participating in meaningful family life.”

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She also wants parents to get curious about the guilt they feel over doing things for themselves – this guilt “often reflects an internalised cultural message that a good parent is endlessly self-sacrificing”, she added.

“Again, the research indicates that this kind of self-sacrifice does not benefit children. Guilt isn’t always evidence that you’re doing something wrong. Sometimes it’s evidence that you’re challenging an unrealistic expectation.”

Like McKenzie, the expert said maintaining your identity isn’t just good for you, it’s good for your children, too.

“Kids benefit from seeing their parents have friendships, interests, meaningful work, and passions outside of parenting. It teaches them that adulthood isn’t about disappearing into caregiving or organising your entire existence around someone else,” she said.

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“It teaches them that healthy relationships allow us to love deeply without losing ourselves.

“The healthiest families aren’t the ones where parents sacrifice their identities for their children. I work with adolescents and young adults in therapy every day who tell me that this is not helpful and often places an enormous burden on them.

“Healthy families are ones where children grow up surrounded by adults who remain whole people, and in doing so, model what a full and meaningful life can look like.”

McKenzie seconds this: “One of the healthiest gifts a parent can give a child is watching them see Mum or Dad continue to grow, pursue meaningful work, maintain friendships, nurture a marriage, and live a life that doesn’t depend on their child’s constant involvement.”

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Thomas Tuchel thinks differently, and draws on academia

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by an expert in football coaching

As a football coach, Thomas Tuchel has done things differently to many of his colleagues.

For example, it is extremely rare for lower league footballers to become the head coaches of top sides. But that’s what Tuchel did, playing as a defender in Germany’s bottom tiers, before going on to manage elite teams like Paris Saint-Germain and Chelsea.

It’s also unusual for youth team coaches to become coaches to senior sides, or to make the leap from coaching relatively small clubs to some of the bigger clubs in the world. Tuchel, England’s head coach, has made these switches too, and in doing so has demonstrated two particular managerial skills: awareness and adaptability.

The two qualities complement each other. A strong sense of awareness is required to effectively assess situations and players, and then recognise how and when a team might need to change its approach. It requires the ability to evolve and mature.

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And a distinct aspiration for Tuchel is not to remain the same coach that he has been in the past. He has said: “[You] need to constantly adapt your style to what is needed, and to your group, and to change yourself, and to develop and to grow.”

He is also known for his perfectionism and dedication. And according to a former colleague, his total commitment to a cause can galvanise a group if it is harnessed correctly.

The colleague said: “Extraordinarily good coaches like him are very intense, that’s part of the deal. They live and breathe football, and that attitude transmits to the team.

“They want to do everything well, and that creates a strong feel for the collective. Everybody wants to give their all, every day, every game. That’s why teams immediately get better once he starts working with them.”

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Tuchel retains very high expectations of performance. He does not mask his displeasure on the sidelines, and is not afraid to tell players when they are not playing well. But his methods involve much more than direct criticism.

For instance, after visiting a professor at Mainz University in Germany, Tuchel became an advocate of a technique known as “differential learning”, which emphasises variation rather than repetition of movement in football training. It also involves presenting players with a wide variety of obstacles that demand constant adjustment, while embracing the fact that players and opposing teams are all different.

So Tuchel began to tailor practice sessions to continually challenge and stretch his players. There would be extreme variation in pitch sizes for example, or particularly difficult drills.

Tuchel said of this more creative style of training: “That influenced me a lot, because it changed my role as a coach completely.

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“With this [approach] there is no right and wrong. I’m just responsible for the ideas and principles of how we play. Within those they are free to find their own solutions.”

The overall idea for Tuchel is that training ends up being so testing and so demanding, that competitive matches seem comparatively easier to cope with.

Shape-shifter, trophy winner?

Tactical versatility has also been a defining feature of Tuchel’s method. He is well known for his in-game changes, where a side might switch formation six times during a match. He wanted his players to learn to constantly adapt to new roles, shapes and systems.

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However, Tuchel has recently explained that if you switch formation too often, players can be conditioned to always look to the coach for a solution. Instead they should be concentrating on how they flexibly apply fundamental defensive and attacking principles, regardless of changes in tactics.

So again, Tuuchel is open to change. He wants to empower his team to make adjustments, without always looking to him for the answers.

To him, awareness and adaptability are crucial qualities required for effective management. This means having the confidence to follow a well-formulated course of action, but also the modesty to appreciate the limits of your capabilities and remain receptive to alternative solutions.

As Tuchel has commented: “I can do it my way, but I never want to say, ‘I know how it’s done.‘

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“I know nothing. I just try my things, and every day is new. There are lots of people out there in business who say they know how it’s done. But there’s not just one way to do things. You have to adapt.”

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