For many, what makes a sport an extreme sport is the risks those partaking are willing to take to achieve their goals. With a growing focus on safety in all areas, the goalposts are constantly shifting on what is and isn’t considered part of this dangerous collection. Formula 1, for example, used to be considered an extreme sport because of the high number of driver deaths, and there is still a significant risk involved. However, improved safety measures and the sport’s move into mainstream media have diminished many of its extreme aspects.

What can never be made ultimately safe, and something that wouldn’t normally pique the interest of many, is free soloing. This is the act of climbing without safety equipment, going far beyond the walls one would find in a rock climbing gym. While many would never even attempt such a sport, the documentary Free Solo is the best example of exploring what kind of person takes up something so dangerous. Not only is there a thorough analysis of the climber, but the fantastic cinematography heightens the tension to the point you will want to look away, and yet never take your eyes off the screen.

What is ‘Free Solo’ About?

Free Solo, currently streaming on Netflix, follows Alex Honnold, one of the best free solo climbers in the world, as he attempts to be the first person to ever free solo El Capitan, a massive and dangerous rock face in Yosemite. Not only is the distance Alex must climb astonishing at 3000 feet, but El Capitan is also rated as one of the greatest challenges in all of free soloing, with no climber ever completing a climb at the 5.13a difficulty that this rock face holds. Yet, more fascinating than the climb itself is the man attempting to accomplish this feat: Alex.

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Most would assume that, to even begin to consider a sport such as free soloing, one would have to be as emotionally steady as the mountains they climb, but Alex takes this to another level. Not only does he not seem to exhibit any fear, but he rarely displays emotions of any kind aside from blunt sarcasm. Free Solo isn’t just interested in Alex’s climbing, but how his approach to emotion affects his relationship with his partner, Sanni McCandless, who constantly pushes Alex to be more expressive. Perhaps the clearest example of Alex’s fascinating perspective is when he learns of the death of one of his fellow free soloists. It certainly makes him question his own risks and relationship with death, but whether it truly affects him is something all viewers will have a different opinion on due to his enigmatic nature.

‘Free Solo’s Cinematography Emphasizes the Risks Alex Takes With Every Step

Everyone has had the nightmare of falling from a great height, and whenever one climbs in real life, even with all the safety harnesses attached, it is the fear of falling that makes the legs shake. Free Solo manages to harness this fear throughout every second of Alex’s climb, whether he is scouting the route with ropes or truly undertaking the challenge free solo. Free Solo faces a great challenge in this area because, in theory, the viewer can assume that Alex is not going to die, as the tone of the documentary would feel incredibly somber if so, and the filmmakers even question the ethics of their filming if such a situation did occur.

Yet, the way Free Solo utilizes drone shots, such as an iconic pullback that starts close on Alex before reversing until he becomes a tiny speck on the side of El Capitan, emphasizes not only the scale of the challenge, but the distance Alex would fall if he puts one foot wrong. Free Solo also uses editing to great effect, slowing down the most tense moments of the climb to force the audience to sit in the terrifying scenario for as long as possible, until it feels like their heart is going to burst through their chest, with Alex’s calm demeanor somehow making it worse, rather than reassuring.

There isn’t long to watch Free Solo, since it will be leaving Netflix at the beginning of April, so it needs to be your next viewing experience as soon as possible. Even though your hands will shake during and afterward, and even if it’s the most frightening thing you’ll see a human being take on, it is a masterclass in documentary filmmaking. From understanding the premise, to the human behind it all, to the technical aspects that make the climb the challenge that it is, Free Solo is a documentary that will leave marks on your armrest from how hard you grip it.

Free Solo is available to stream on Netflix in the U.S.

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Release Date

September 28, 2018

Runtime

100 minutes

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Director

Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi

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By Robert Scucci
| Published 12 seconds ago

I was having a really good day before I fired up 2009’s Morris County, a three-part horror anthology written and directed by Matthew Garrett about the darkness hiding just beneath the idyllic sheen of modern suburbia. I didn’t know what to expect going into this low-budget romp through the neighborhood, but I figured it would carry the same “everybody has skeletons in their closet” messaging that most films like this do. American Beauty, The Burbs, Happiness, and countless other films have played with this motif with wildly different results, so I went into Morris County with an open mind.

For a film that looks like it was shot for less than $500 (budget information is not publicly available), Morris County still manages to get under your skin and make you want to take a long shower when it’s over. I live in a pretty modern apartment, but still found that I couldn’t get the water hot enough to shock the final sequence out of my brain.

While I can’t say this is the most groundbreaking film of all time, it works with what it has and proves genuinely upsetting on more than one occasion.

Three Stories From The Same Neighborhood

Morris County has a structure that feels deliberate, though it may be coincidental. The first story focuses on a teenage girl named Ellie (Darcy Miller) who has clearly lost her way. She’s shut out her parents and taken to drinking and drugging. It’s implied that she regularly trades sexual favors with the liquor store employees so she can buy booze as a minor. Ellie meets her friends in the woods, and they party like teens do.

She’s not yet fully aware of how her behavior will catch up with her, but she soon finds out and has to make peace with herself when she realizes how far gone she actually is.

Chapter two moves away from teenage chaos and into adult misery. This section focuses on Noah (Albie Selznick), a Jewish man struggling to reconcile his latent homosexuality with his faith. Making matters worse is his wife’s affair, which she thinks she’s successfully concealing even though he’s fully aware of it. 

He takes solo trips to the adult video store and attempts to hook up with male suitors, which lands him in more trouble than he anticipated. Broken, miserable, and convinced he’s stepping further away from God’s light, Noah finds himself staring down his family, the bottom of a bottle, and the barrel of a gun. It plays out exactly how you’d expect.

Now that Morris County has progressed through middle age, the final story moves into the golden years through the eyes of Iris (Alice Cannon). Forced into early retirement because of her age, Iris suddenly feels lost without the routine she followed for her entire adult life.

On her first day of retirement, her husband Elmer (Erik Frandsen) dies while watching TV on the couch. In her profound state of grief, Iris decides to live with Elmer’s rotting corpse and go about her daily routine as if nothing has changed. The first few days are manageable, but as Elmer continues to decompose, it becomes painfully clear that the romance and sense of fulfillment Iris is chasing is just as dead as her husband.

A Horrifying Glimpse At Humanity

While its production values leave quite a bit to be desired, Morris County ultimately does everything it sets out to accomplish. It moves through three phases of life, each one more disturbing than the last, highlighting the uncomfortable truth that growing up, growing old, and dying are rarely graceful experiences.

Everybody is fighting a silent battle, and every so often those battles boil over in the ugliest ways imaginable. From an isolated and angsty teenager barreling through life on hard mode to an elderly woman who refuses to let go of her past and plan her next steps, the film has no trouble getting its point across.

Behind the picket fences and locked front doors, silent suffering hides in the most unassuming places. When people build walls around themselves and let their demons consume them from the inside out, you get exactly what Morris County is showing you.

As of this writing, Morris County is streaming for free on Tubi.

Margot Robbie has mastered airport style, and her latest travel look proves it. The actress was recently spotted passing through the airport in an effortlessly chic outfit that balanced comfort and polish, paring a crisp white tee with light-wash denim and an oversized wine-red tote. The gorgeous statement accessory was slung over her shoulder, and while it elevated the entire outfit, it was still totally practical for travel days.

Naturally, we wanted the star’s look for ourselves. After a little digging, we found a similar option on Amazon: the Hoxis Oversize Vegan Leather Tote. The roomy bag captures the same slouchy silhouette and deep, sophisticated color that made Robbie’s tote stand out — but at a far more wallet-friendly price. With its oversized design and luxe-looking finish, it’s the kind of bag that makes even a simple airport outfit feel fashion-editor-approved.

Get the Hoxis Oversize Vegan Leather Tote for $29 (originally $36) at Amazon! Please note, prices are accurate as of the publishing date but are subject to change.

Beyond its runway-worthy look, the Amazon tote is built to handle serious packing, with shoppers saying it “fits so much inside.” Measuring 22 x 6.5 x 15 inches, the roomy interior offers plenty of space for travel essentials — think a change of clothes, toiletries, a laptop and even snacks for the journey. The simple magnetic snap closure makes it easy to grab what you need quickly, whether you’re breezing through airport security or reaching for your headphones mid-flight.

The bag is crafted from soft PU leather that’s lightweight yet durable, giving it that elevated, minimalist feel without weighing you down. Its relaxed, unlined structure makes it especially easy to pack, while the sturdy straps sit comfortably on your shoulder even when the tote is full. In other words, it’s the kind of carryall that works just as well for commuting, weekend trips or everyday errands as it does for travel days.

Shoppers say the bag looks and feels far more expensive than its price tag suggests.

One reviewer raved, “The material is soft yet durable and feels truly high quality…If you’re a big-bag kinda girlie, this is a must-have.” Another shared that it’s “literally the best bag with such amazing quality,” adding that it’s very versatile. “You can use it as a work bag, travel bag, everyday bag, [or] gym bag.”

It’s easy to see why this roomy tote feels right at home alongside Margot’s effortlessly chic airport style. Grab this pick for yourself now and nail this star-worthy look for under $30.

Get the Hoxis Oversize Vegan Leather Tote for $29 (originally $36) at Amazon!

Please note, prices are accurate as of the publishing date but are subject to change.

Looking for something else? Explore more from Hoxis here and more totes here! Don’t forget to check out all of Amazon’s Daily Deals for more great finds!

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Karrueche Tran and Deion Sanders are still going strong! The longer they go, the more sis is leaning into her “rich auntie” meets “soft life love” energy, respectfully. And the fans are here for it, especially after seeing the couple recently describe what they love most about each other.

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Deion Sanders Says Karrueche Is “Sweet As Sugar” 

Roomies, the subheading says it all! Deion Sanders thinks his lady, Karrueche Tran, is “sweet as sugar.” But the 58-year-old is specific with his description, calling Tran “a brown bag of sugar.” She chuckled at this comment, thanked him after he said it directly to her and then started gently rubbing her man’s back—an act of love the roommates definitely peeped. But, we’ll circle back to reactions!

The video clip of Karrueche and Deion describing what they love most about each other comes from a vlog released on Deion Sanders Jr.’s YouTube channel, Well Off Media. The 47-minute vlog dropped on Tuesday (March 17) and it’s a recap of a family vacation to St. Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands.

Tran and Daddy Sanders began describing each other’s best qualities about 12-and-a-half minutes in, while sitting on a public bench. He went first, answering what someone seemingly asked him off-camera: “What should people know about Karrueche that they don’t know?” After saying his lady is sweet as sugar, he went in about other qualities he loves about the 37-year-old.

“You look out for a lot of folks, especially your famlily. You make certain I’m straight. Like everyday, like on point. You make sure I got what I need, I got what I want and I’m straight. You dot your Is and cross your Ts and I like that. What more could I need,” Deion Sanders said.

Tran Matches Her Man’s Energy While Describing Him

When it was Karrueche’s turn to speak on Deion, she also graced him with compliments! But at first, she admitted that it’s hard because she feels like the world already knows how he is. Then, she went into detail about how he supports and uplifts the community around him.

“I love how you support those around you and you always want to involve those around you, whether it’s your son, your kids, me, your sister…anybody that you know and love and want to take care of. You’re always supporting them in different ways…I also love how real you are,” Tran said. “I don’t want to say how regular you are, ’cause you’re not regular but just like down to Earth and all these materialistic things, and all these things you’ve experienced, you like your peace. So I just love how at peace and chill you are with yourself.”

See both Deion and Karrueche’s responses below. 

Social Media Cracks Jokes About Karrueche “Securing The Bag” With Deion 

As mentioned roommates, y’all wasted no time cuttin’ up under The Shade Room’s Instagram repost of the short moment between Tran and her man! From Deion Sanders’ apparent happiness to Karrueche’s calm energy (and chill ‘fits to match), the comments seemed to largely praise what the union is doing for both these superstars! With more than 4,000 comments in six hours, here’s a look at what the roomies are saying:

IG roommate @collins_kai commented, “Sis got her a old head! That’s my type of carrying on 🔥😍 I love the Deion Sanders type 🔥❤️😍.” 

@dominiquechinn wrote, “I know he be filling her up with all that great energy he gives to the world on a personal level, and she most likely appreciates and loves him so much for that. Keep him nice and youthful. I love seeing people in love ❤️.” 

“My mom always told me “I’d rather be an old man’s sweetheart than a young man’s fool”. Come here skool 👴🏽🤎🥰,” @thereal.rolanda said.

@thereal_2playa joked, “She keep rubbing that back, she waiting to be put on that insurance policy🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🫵🏾🫵🏾🫵🏾🫵🏾.” 

@cheriemcampbell also dropped a jokey joke, writing, “Someone said, ‘He got her in a roller set and a two piece set from TJ Maxx’ I swear I hate ya’ll 😫🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Girl enjoy your soft life 😫🙌🏼❤️” 

“Karrueche is a smart girl & understands the assignment ! Love It. 😂❤️,” @ggsodecentt said.

“Hair is giving coastal rich grandma 😍💖,” @alexislovesme commented.

“Yup!!!❤️ she gets it! I love this for them. She won. She got out of that circus of babymothers and drama and WON,” @shavey_b wrote.

“She’s starting to dress like the old aunties too trying to match his fly🤪🥰🤣,” @officialtheema added.

Watch the video below to see more moments from Karrueche Tran and Deion Sanders’ time on St. Croix. 

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By TeeJay Small
| Published 1 hour ago

If you’re at all familiar with the catalogue of acclaimed filmmaker Quentin Tarantino, you might have already heard about his bizarre 10 movie rule. The self-imposed rule centers around Tarantino’s commitment to the concept of quality over quantity, as the aging director seeks to keep his pantheon undiluted by dozens of movies of wildly varying worth.

To maintain this high watermark of excellence, he plans to release only 10 feature films before he retires. Many years ago, fans saw this as an admirable concept, ripe for a Criterion box set of nothing but 10/10 bangers. But these days, it looks like that mission statement is doing more to harm Tarantino’s brand than help it.

According to a write-up in Variety, Quentin Tarantino is currently taking a break from helming his 10th and final film in favor of directing his very first stage play. The show, which has been described as a “swashbuckling comedy,” will be titled The Popinjay Cavalier, based on a script from Tarantino himself. If you’re interested in catching it live, it’s already on pace for an early 2027 debut, though no cast details or venues have been announced.

While this play sounds like an interesting side quest for the filmmaker, it is a bit jarring considering he’s currently nine films deep into his 10-film legacy. If he does stick to his retirement plans, this play seems like the exact kind of thing that he should be doing after his untitled final project. To my eye, it seems like Tarantino has become overwhelmed by pressure of his own making, corralling himself into a set of nebulous guidelines.

The freedom to play it loose and experiment has obviously been present throughout many of Tarantino’s greatest hits, including Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, and The Hateful Eight. Like many A-list directors, he’s taken some big swings, like swapping genres to deliver a few cutthroat Westerns, or moving production units overseas for a multinational opus. Now that his self-imposed swan song is rapidly approaching, he may be experiencing some heavy existential dread as he weighs which of his many ideas to produce and which to relegate to the “what-if” pile of cinema history.

Scrapped And Potential Projects

Tarantino has already scrapped numerous projects since the release of his ninth film, 2019’s Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. He was rumored to be working on everything from a Star Trek movie, to a third volume in the Kill Bill series, to a First Blood remake, with Adam Driver to star as Rambo. Each of these projects eventually fell through, as the director labored over his final outing. Eventually, Tarantino confirmed that he was working on a 10th film titled The Movie Critic.

Unfortunately, The Movie Critic was scrapped right before filming was set to take place, leaving the future works of the two-time Oscar winner in limbo. Since then, Tarantino’s script for The Adventures of Cliff Booth has been handed over to David Fincher, and all other Tarantino motion pictures seem to be suspended indefinitely. Last year, Quentin Tarantino elaborated on his choice to hand over the screenplay to Fincher in a discussion with The Hollywood Reporter, stating, “I love this script, but I’m still walking down the same ground I’ve already walked. It just kind of unenthused me. This last movie, I’ve got to not know what I’m doing again. I’ve got to be in uncharted territory.”

From Reservoir Dogs To Swashbuckling Comedy

Clearly, the decision of what to do next is weighing heavily on Tarantino. Still, it seems like the clear solution would be freeing himself from the shackles of this 10-film rule, and cutting loose with a flurry of new projects that allow him to explore whatever he wants. Martin Scorsese, Steven Spielberg, and Stanley Kubrick each have dozens of directing credits on IMDb, and no one questions their lasting legacies.

When asked about his current workload, Tarantino told Variety, “I’m writing a play, and it’s going to be probably the next thing I end up doing. If it’s a fiasco, I probably won’t turn it into a movie. But if it’s a smash hit? It might be my last movie.” So, maybe The Popinjay Cavalier will be the filmmaker’s dramatic closer. Still, it’s hard to imagine a filmography that kicked off with Reservoir Dogs ending with something described as a “swashbuckling comedy.”

Uh oh! Looks like Bonnie Blue‘s bad act finally caught up with her!

The British adult content creator who made a controversial move outside an embassy in London has now been charged and will appear in court next month.

Bonnie Blue went viral last year and early this year for having sex with a mouth-watering number of people in a bid to break the world record, but later announced that she had gotten pregnant after one of the encounters.

Bonnie Blue’s Court Date Set For Outraging Public Decency Charge

The adult film star, whose real name is Tia Billinger, was charged on Monday, March 16, with outraging public decency after the stunt she pulled last December. The star was captured simulating a sexual act while holding the Indonesian flag outside the country’s embassy during a protest last year.

She recorded the moment and posted it on social media, with her being surrounded by hooded men in masks. The media personality told everyone watching that she was arrested in Bali previously, which was why she decided to simulate a sexual act while holding the country’s flag.

Bonnie’s arrest in Bali was on suspicion of the creator making pornographic content online as she rode in a pickup truck labeled “Bang Bus,” leading to her deportation. A Metropolitan Police spokesperson in London told TMZ that Bonnie will appear before a judge and face the criminal charges at Westminster Magistrates’ Court on April 22. The case has been referred to the Crown Prosecution Service, which has authorized charging Bonnie.

The Content Creator Was Slammed For Her Pregnancy Claims

In February, the adult film star revealed that she had gotten pregnant weeks after she had an unprotected sex marathon with 400 men. As shared by The Blast, Bonnie explained that her body was undergoing a series of changes, which is why she proceeded to take a test. In her words:

“I’ve been sick, a headache, and when I say headache, I mean like mega migraine. Foods have been making me feel sick, but then also some foods I want to eat instantly, or else I will be sick.”

She admitted to the camera that she was really nervous, and when the test kit read as positive, she made plans to carry out an ultrasound. Following Bonnie’s revelation, social media users tongue-lashed her for being so careless, adding that the means by which she got pregnant would be the worst story to tell any baby.

Bonnie Blue’s Sex Spree Was A Breeding Mission For Her

The British adult content creator broke a record that was earlier held by Ariana Jollee in 2004 for having sex with 65 men. Bonnie’s headline-making mission took place at Lord Davenport’s mansion, where some willing participants waited in line for more than 7 hours for their turn. Bonnie confessed that she was initially concerned about the amount of fluids she would have to take for strength and stamina, fearing that she might just drown.

However, she was sure she wanted men who wanted to be dads the most and who were the strongest swimmers to get a very fast pass to the front of the queue. The adult content creator even had to push the date back to align with her biological clock, since the entire act was a breeding mission.

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As for any eventual pregnancy, Bonnie addressed the question at the time, describing it as a problem for another day, but assured everyone that she would reach out to the participants to discuss it. The content creator added that she also took DNA samples and contact details from the participants to identify the father of her child.

Dan Dangler Did Not Agree With The Adult Content Creator’s Ways

Fellow creator Dan Dangler reacted to Bonnie’s pregnancy announcement, urging her to seek help and claiming that she was not being completely truthful about some facts in her situation. As stated by The Blast, fans had claimed Bonnie was faking the positive pregnancy test, claiming it was just a rage bait and the creator’s usual mode of operation.

Bonnie had earlier claimed she was pregnant in February 2025, only to clarify that she was not expecting. As for Dangler, she noted that if Bonnie was going to do something as outrageous as sleeping with 400 men, she should not be surprised at getting pregnant from it.

The content creator had previously addressed her struggles with infertility during her previous marriage, revealing last year that she was unable to get pregnant naturally. In Dangler’s words: “You can’t tell Us Weekly you need IVF and then tell YouTube you got pregnant from a mansion full of strangers two weeks later. One of those stories is a lie, and honestly, I think we all know which one.”

Bonnie Blue Accused Of Portraying OnlyFans In A Negative Light

Last June, OnlyFans star Sophie Rain added her voice to the growing criticisms towards some adult content creators who have turned the platform into a clown show. Rain specifically highlighted Bonnie’s behavior, accusing her of bringing undue attention to OnlyFans at the expense of its original mission.

Sophie stated that OnlyFans was built for women’s empowerment, for women to take control of their bodies by having a space where they make money on their own terms, from their own sexuality and sensuality, not to fake pregnancies, marriages, and throw cake at people in public.

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Sophie added that the consequences of Bonnie’s actions would reflect on content creators’ efforts to maintain professionalism. She claimed that brands have stopped taking them seriously, and she has gotten tired of explaining that not everyone is doing circus acts for clicks.

The Bachelorette‘s Taylor Frankie Paul played coy about her relationship status after recently sharing a video with a mystery man that got fans talking.

When asked about her TikTok with the unnamed man during the Wednesday, March 18, episode of Good Morning America, Taylor replied, “[That is] somebody that’s in my life, yes.”

The 31-year-old reality star wouldn’t elaborate further on his identity so as not to spoil her Bachelorette journey.

“But [I] can’t give away too much,” she noted. “That would ruin the surprise, wouldn’t it?”

Taylor took to social media on Sunday, March 15, to share a video of herself with a man in the background who some fans thought could be a finalist from The Bachelorette. “Sorry kinda busy,” she teased in the caption.

One day later, Us Weekly confirmed that production on The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives was “shut down” following an alleged domestic dispute between Taylor and her ex Dakota Mortensen.

“The Mormon Wives cast [is] honestly terrified to film with Taylor right now,” the source exclusively told Us, noting that “the women have made it clear they don’t want to be around her because they see her as a major liability.”

According to the insider, the Mormon Wives cast “believed Taylor was in a better place” after she filmed her season of The Bachelorette and that their Hulu reality show “was heading in a different direction.”

“Now, many of them feel they’ve moved past the point of dealing with this kind of behavior and simply don’t want to be put in that position again,” the source continued.

Taylor and Dakota, 32, have faced their fair share of ups and downs since they started dating. After multiple attempts to work on their relationship, Taylor chose to look for love on season 22 of The Bachelorette, which appeared to shut the door on her romance with Dakota.

Related: Mormon Wives’ Taylor Frankie Paul, Dakota Mortensen‘s Relationship Timeline

Taylor Frankie Paul and Dakota Mortensen‘s complicated romance was thrust into the spotlight on The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives — and their relationship status remains unclear. The couple started dating before the show premiered on Hulu. Dakota was Taylor’s first public boyfriend after her divorce from husband Tate Paul due to a high-profile “soft […]

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“There was no other reason for me to do this other than I wanted to get outside of Utah and the toxicity that I’m in and venture off and really do something for myself,” she exclusively told Us in her recent cover story. “Who gets this opportunity as a single mom to just purely focus on dating and love and yourself? It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. That is why I was there.”

Despite her history with Dakota, with whom she shares 23-month-old son Ever, Taylor was determined to move on.

“It was a choice. Ready, at the end of the day, is a decision,” she stated. “I made the decision to leave for two months and try. I reassured [the men on The Bachelorette] that was why I was here.”

Taylor concluded, “I’m happy in the moment. [The season] ended in a Taylor way. Some people may know what that means, and some people might not.”

Days before her season premiere, Taylor broke her silence on her issues with Dakota during an event on Tuesday, March 17. “There’s more to the context to everything and it’s unfortunate. … It’s another premiere that’s been taken away from me,” she exclusively told Us. “I’ve never enjoyed a premiere for any one of my shows. So it’s just been very sad.”

The Bachelorette season 22 premieres on ABC Sunday, March 22, at 8 p.m. ET and streams the next day on Hulu.

Kerry Washington recognized she was in the midst of a “real mental health crisis” before seeking treatment for an eating disorder.

“The thing that actually got me to get help with my eating disorder wasn’t the food itself, wasn’t the behavior with the food,” Washington, 49, said during her Wednesday, March 18, appearance on the “Call Her Daddy” podcast. “It was the suicidal ideation.”

Washington explained that she was “trying to escape life” at the height of her struggles.

“I was using food and exercise as a tool to not be here,” the actress explained. “I need to figure out how to be in life. I was terrified that I was being so mean to myself.”

Related: Kerry Washington Says Parents’ Fighting Gave Her Panic Attacks at Age 7

Carl Timpone/BFA.com/Shutterstock Kerry Washington is opening up about her life in her new memoir, Thicker Than Water — and she’s leaving no detail untold. In an excerpt shared by Oprah Daily on Wednesday, August 9, the actress, 46, revealed that her parents’ strained relationship led her to develop “panic attacks at night” at the age […]

Washington continued, “I was in so much pain that inflicting more pain was the only way out of my pain.”

The Scandal star previously spoke about her eating disorder struggles during an October 2020 interview with Essence, revealing her battle with binge eating.

“I used food as a way to cope. It was my best friend,” Washington said at the time, explaining that she would sometimes eat “until I passed out” and then “go to the gym and exercise for hours and hours and hours.”

During Wednesday’s “Call Her Daddy” podcast, Washington explained that she decided to seek treatment when things were “the worst” in college.

“It was the first thing that got me on my knees, ever. The first time I ever prayed was to get out of this insanity,” she recalled. “My entire life revolved around what I was eating or not eating, how many calories I was burning.”

Washington went to both group and individual therapy at the time. She also worked closely with a nutritionist.

“​​I think if you’re the one struggling, it’s trusting your gut,” she said. “If you know you need help, don’t let anybody tell you that it’s not a big deal.”

Washington — who invested in the online platform Equip, which helps with eating disorder recovery — explained that eating disorders are still difficult for doctors to diagnose.

“If you’re struggling, don’t minimize it,” she said. “If you need help, ask for help. You don’t need to suffer alone. You don’t need to live in pain. You don’t need to engage in activity that takes you out of life.”

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. If you or someone you know struggles with an eating disorder, visit the National Alliance for Eating Disorders website or call their hotline at (866) 662-1235. Text “ALLIANCE” to 741741 for free, 24/7 support.