Kate and her husband, Ant, have sailed on over 14 cruise lines
A couple have revealed how they go on cruise holidays to meet other couples. And they say the act has “saved” their marriage.
Kate and her husband, Ant, have sailed on over 14 cruise lines and have been aboard 45 ships over 120 nights at sea.
The pair, aged 43 and 40, began getting acquainted with the swinging lifestyle last year, the MEN and Jam Press reports.
“I love having endless options,” the public sector worker, from Manchester, told NeedToKnow.
“We don’t go on every cruise with the intention of swinging. But the community aspect, the fun and the late-night energy on board fit so well with how we like to connect with people.
“The freedom of a cruise naturally mirrors our lifestyle – so what better way to find fellow swingers?”
Kate and Ant got married in 2010. In 2023, he found out she had been connecting with other men online and had had a one-night stand.
Instead of it breaking them apart, though, it opened up a conversation about honesty, desire and what they both wanted – especially in the bedroom.
As to how it works, Kate said: “We look at the nightlife first; bars, late-night venues and spaces where conversation can flow. Then it’s all about the vibe.
“Some cruise lines are more conservative, others attract more open-minded travellers.
“We also look for privacy-friendly cabins and itineraries with plenty of sea days, as sometimes you don’t want to rush back from port when the fun is only just beginning.
“We’ve had nights where the right chemistry, the right music, and a little too much champagne turned the dance floor into the start of some unforgettable friendships.”
When sharing their lifestyle with people who aren’t into swinging, they’re often met with questions surrounding jealousy and loyalty.
And, while those who know them have come to accept their lifestyle, some family members aren’t too pleased.
Kate said, “Our friends who know are curious and enjoy the fun stories. We haven’t and don’t plan to tell our parents – but nobody would talk to them about their sex life anyway.
“My sister hasn’t taken it well; she’s cut off the friendship part of their relationship and only sees us at family events now.
“It’s sad, but we’ve had a ton of support from our community.
“The big question we always get is: ‘Don’t you get jealous?’ and ‘Is it just about sex?’ and the answer to both questions is no. It’s about connection, playfulness and exploring desires together.
“We don’t see jealousy as something to avoid; it’s a signal to check in with each other if we do. If something feels off, we say it.
“Most of the time, the feelings of jealousy fade when replacing imagination with reality.
“And when you remember that you’re in it together, the jealousy can sometimes be a huge turn on.”
Kate and Ant both believe that opening themselves up to swinging has “saved” their marriage.
She added: “Our marriage was never ‘broken’, our sex life was great, our connection was strong. But we realised there were parts of ourselves we’d never explored.
“For me, it wasn’t about needing someone new; it was about needing something new, my own experiences, my own stories, outside of the life we’d built together.
“Our lives now are full of freedom, honesty, and so much pleasure. We’ve created experiences and friendships we never would’ve had in a monogamous relationship.
“It can be messy, especially if we have a different expectation of what being ‘open’ looks like. You’ve got to get comfortable with uncertainty and with seeing your partner desired by others.
“We’ve found that what could feel threatening in monogamy, though, is actually incredibly bonding when you’re open.
“Start with conversations, not actions, and explore your partner’s desires. Ask what excites them and focus on their pleasure first.
“You don’t have to dive in right away; meet like-minded people socially and get comfortable with the vibe.
“It’s about communication, trust and curiosity before anything physical. We’re not here to shock people.
“We’re here to show that relationships can be playful, adventurous – and a little bit spicy.”
