Golden Globes 2026: Nikki Glaser’s Best And Most Outrageous Jokes

After winning a wave of praise for her hosting stint in 2025, US comedian Nikki Glaser returned to the Golden Globes stage for her second year as host on Sunday night, and killed it all over again.

During her introductory monologue, Nikki sent up the current situation in Hollywood, as well as roasting celebrity guests in attendance like Leonardo DiCaprio, George Clooney, Sean Penn and the cast and crew of Wicked For Good.

But she also touched on more serious matters – most notably the ongoing political turbulence in the US.

Here are just a handful of Nikki’s best one-liners from her Golden Globes monologue and elsewhere in the show…

1. “[Welcome to] the Golden Globes, without a doubt the most important thing that’s happening in the world right now”

2. “Let’s get down to business, shall we? We’ll start the bidding for Warner Bros at $5. Do I hear $5?”

3. “Just like Wicked, I’m back for a sequel. Just like Frankenstein, I’ve been pieced together by an unlicensed European surgeon. And just like the podcasters nominated tonight, I should not be allowed to be this close to Julia Roberts.”

4. “I cannot believe the amount of star power we have in this room tonight. It’s insane. There are so many A-listers – and by A-listers, I do mean people who are on ‘a list’ that has been heavily redacted.”

5. “And the Golden Globe for best editing goes to… the Justice Department. And the award for most editing goes to CBS News. America’s newest place to see BS news. We needed another!”

6. “George Clooney was nominated for Jay Kelly, where he plays… George Clooney. You were so good…”

7. “I’ve always wanted to ask [George Clooney] this question. It might be unprofessional but here goes… my Nespresso has been coming out kind of watery, and I’m wondering, is it like a pod issue, or do you think it might be the filter? Grazie, signore!”

8. ”Kevin [Hart] and The Rock are like Steve Martin and Martin Short, but for people under 50… IQ. Jumanji: Next Level… was it?”

9. “What a career [Leonardo DiCaprio has] had. Countless iconic performances, you’ve worked with every great director, you’ve won three Golden Globes and an Oscar.

“The most impressive thing is you were able to accomplish all that before your girlfriend turned 30… I’m sorry I made that joke, it’s cheap, I tried not to, but we don’t know anything else about you, man. There’s, like, nothing else.”

10. “Sean Penn, you’re such an original. Everyone in this town is obsessed with looking younger, meanwhile Sean Penn is like, ‘What if I slowly morph into a sexy leather handbag?’.”

11. “Hamnet is nominated tonight… such a masterful portrayal of loss and grief. Fun fact, Hamnet was the original name for Spanx. I’m wearing three Hamnets right now…”

12. “We can’t talk about movies this year without talking about Sinners, which singlehandedly saved Warner Bros – for about a month, but still…”

13. “We got two Michael B. Jordans [in Sinners]. When I saw that, I was like, Nikki B. Jerking, because that was awesome…”

14. “Wicked was back this year, with Wicked For Money. Once again, Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande gave us two career-defining performances. Two hours into that movie, I was in tears. I was like, ‘I can’t believe there’s still 45 minutes left’.”

15. “Ariana, I would listen to you sing the phone book. Grab the one Kevin Hart is sitting on tonight.”

16. ”[Timothée Chalamet is] the first actor in history to have to put on muscle for a movie about ping pong. He gained over 60 ounces!”

17. “Steve Martin and Martin Short, keep proving to us that in this industry, you are never, ever too old to still need money…”

18. “I don’t want to get too serious but stories like [Heated Rivalry] don’t always get told. I hope that [the show’s success] is proof that American audiences are ready… for more stories about hockey, OK?”

19. “Just behind me is the HBO table… or whatever it’ll be called before this show ends.”

20 “To my right are the tables for Hamnet, All Her Fault and Bugonia. An area we’re calling Traumatised Woman Alley. We’ll never find out where Traumatised Men Alley is because they are not allowed to tell us. They just keep stuffing it down and making more Fast & Furious sequels…”

21. To be honest, just this whole skit…