News Beat
How To Cope With Christmas Stress Using Psychology
Whether you love or loathe Christmas, it’s hard to deny just how stressful the season can be. Gathering gifts, decorating, reconnecting with family members and if you’re hosting Christmas Dinner… SO much prepping.
Even with all the best intentions, this stress can really take a toll and prevent you from enjoying the holidays which feels like it defeats the entire point.
Thankfully, one psychologist, Nathan D Iverson PhD has found a way to apply the leadership value of 70-20-10 to holiday stress and you know what? It just might be the solution we’ve been looking for.
The 70-20-10 rule for Christmas stress
70% – ‘hard moments we didn’t choose’
We are ALL familiar with them. An established couple being asked when they’re planning to have a child, a flustered family member trying to please everybody or even just falling back into family dynamics you thought you left behind in childhood.
Petty sibling arguments, anyone?
Iverson says: “For most of my life, and still right now, I’ve experienced these moments as obstacles to a peaceful season. But lately, I’m trying—imperfectly—to see them as part of my growth instead of proof of my shortcomings.
“Psychologists call this a learning orientation—seeing challenges as opportunities to grow rather than threats to avoid. It doesn’t make the moment easier. But it does change how we make meaning of it.”
It sounds like it makes perfect sense but I reckon it’ll take some practice to get used to.
20% – ‘The people who help us make sense of things’
A sneaky heart-to-heart with your favourite auntie or words of wisdom from your mum, these quiet corners of conversation can help us to make sense of our own feelings, according to Iverson.
Iverson says: “Often, they help us laugh a little at ourselves—which is a form of grace we don’t give enough credit.
“I rely on these conversations far more than I admit. They turn holiday tension into insight. Without them, the moment just stays a moment. With them, the moment becomes meaningful.”
10% – ‘The tools we bring with us’
Finally, this is a little work you must do yourself. Learn how to control your stress, your big feelings and how to empathise with even your most frustrating family members.
Iverson assures: “These tools rarely show up perfectly in the moment. But afterward, they help us reflect with less shame and more clarity.
“Knowledge alone doesn’t change us—but it supports the slow work that does.”
