Intrusive Thoughts Are Common In New Parents

Intrusive thoughts and psychotic-like experiences among new parents are far more common than previously thought, according to new research.

In a survey where over 300 parents who had a baby in the past 12 months were able to answer anonymously, the overwhelming majority (96%) of participants reported experiencing at least one intrusive thought – for example, unwanted or distressing ideas or images.

The University of East Anglia research also found 89% reported at least one psychotic-like experience, such as fleeting paranoia or unusual perceptions.

Based on their reported symptoms, nearly 31% were considered “at-risk” for developing psychosis.

The research team hope their work will lead to greater awareness, early screening, and accessible mental health support for all parents, not just those with diagnosed conditions.

Intrusive thoughts are “distressing, senseless, unwanted thoughts, images or urges that suddenly pop into your mind”, according to the Derbyshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust.

They can be extremely varied, but in new parents might look a bit like this:

• “What if my baby stopped breathing?”
• “What if I shook the baby?”
• Image of house burning down
• Urge to crash into the car in front of you
• Urge to slap baby when they won’t stop crying
• Having to put everything in the right place before leaving the house.

The trust notes that while these thoughts do typically decrease over time, “they tend to be more common when new parents are under stress and have little support”.

Lead researcher Dr Jo Hodgekins, from UEA’s Norwich Medical School, said: “The perinatal period is a time of huge change for parents, and previous research has shown that more than one in five mothers experience mental health challenges during this time.

“Challenges like sleep deprivation, stress, and hormonal changes can all take a toll on the mental health of new parents.”

While a lot of research focusing on parental mental health focuses on new mums, the research also highlighted that new dads are extremely vulnerable in the first year of parenthood.

Dads reported more intrusive thoughts, greater parenting stress, and higher levels of depression and anxiety than mums.

“Male parents may experience these symptoms due to sleep deprivation, heightened stress, and the psychological adjustment to new responsibilities and identity as a father,” said Dr Hodgekins.

“But this result might be skewed by the fact that the vast majority of the participants, around 90%, were female. It would certainly be interesting to focus on recruiting more male participants in future research.”

Studies have found people who have intrusive thoughts aren’t more likely to act on them. If you have them, it might be helpful to identify it as an intrusive thought and accept it as that. It’s also important to be kind to yourself – you’re not a bad parent. So many of us have had these thoughts.

Dr Hodgekins said the study highlights “the need to normalise some of these experiences for new parents” to help reduce stigma and raise awareness.

“Intrusive thoughts and psychotic-like experiences don’t always mean there’s a clinical disorder, but they’re common and can seriously affect parenting, so they deserve attention,” she said, adding that parents need tailored and targeted support if they do find the experiences distressing.

Not only could this improve mental health, but also parenting outcomes, she added.

And it’s important to note that if your intrusive thoughts are impacting your daily life and interfering with the things you enjoy, it’s worth speaking to your GP, midwife or a mental health professional for further support.

• Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
• Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
• CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
• The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
• Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.