It’s polite to send thank you cards – but many don’t

“Who was that from?” my mum would ask, before jotting down the name from the tag on a piece of paper.

A couple of days later, that piece of paper was brought out as Mum reminded us to write thank you cards. This was something we were brought up to do, and, years later, I did the same with my daughters.

I sat among the wrapping paper, jotting down the names of who gave what to whom. Once the festivities were over, I’d repeatedly ask: “Have you done your thank you cards?” until they were written and posted.

It may not be marked on everyone’s, or even anyone’s, calendar, but today is national Thank You Note Day, established to encourage handwritten expressions of gratitude towards others.

No matter what your age, a thank you card or letter is a lovely, thoughtful way to let a gift-giver know that their gesture is appreciated.

Yet, nowadays, many people don’t seem to see things that way. Increasingly – in my experience anyway – people don’t send thank you cards. In fact, many people don’t even acknowledge presents.

Birthdays, weddings, new babies, anniversaries, there have been several occasions in recent years when I have put time and thought into buying gifts, yet received no word of thanks whatsoever.

Maybe for younger generations it’s not so important, but for us, it’s ingrained. When I told my husband Andrew I was writing this column he reminded me of the time his grandfather contacted his mother to express his annoyance, having not received a thank you letter for a cheque he sent for his birthday. She relayed his displeasure to Andrew.

My husband, who was in his thirties at the time, replied that he had not received the cheque, but nobody seemed to believe him. He was in the doghouse for six months, before the cheque and accompanying card were returned to his grandfather. Royal Mail had not been able to read his handwriting on the front of the envelope; thankfully his address was printed on a sticker on the back.

For children, as well as teaching them the importance of showing gratitude, writing letters or cards also helps with their communication skills. It allows them to practice the art of writing, especially if it’s in letter form. Do children even know how to write letters nowadays?

I know that my own daughters, in their late twenties, are sticklers for saying thank you and they take pleasure in sending notes, one making and illustrating her own.

Of course, if you thank someone in person, it’s not really necessary to send a thank you card, but it’s a nice gesture. It’s also good manners. What annoys me is when people don’t acknowledge a present at all. A thank you in some form, even an email or text, seems to be too much effort

If you have sent a present through the post, a thank you also confirms its arrival. My friend sent a gift voucher through the post for a relative’s wedding. Several months later, she’s heard nothing and, as it wasn’t tracked, she doesn’t know whether it even arrived.

I still have some of the wonderful thank you cards sent to my family from a neighbour’s young children – a lot of thought has been put into them and they are a pleasure to read.

The earliest thank you notes can be traced back to Chinese and Egyptian cultures. People felt such messages of appreciation were important all those centuries ago – and they should be now. Long may the tradition continue.