The youngster was left distraught after being forced to take part in his school’s Christmas play – and things escalated when he was given a bigger role in the performance
A distraught mum was left in tears on the street after her nine-year-old son was due to perform in the school Christmas play. Things took a dramatic turn when the school asked him to be more involved in the production.
It lead to the boy running away from home, refusing to take part in his school’s Christmas concert and then nabbing his parents’ house keys where he locked his dad and sister inside. Fortunately, he was spotted by another school mum about 20 minutes later – and he was unharmed. Sharing her story on Mumsnet, the woman wrote: “For last year’s Christmas performance the school offered that he do the lighting and screens rather than be on the stage.
“This worked well for him as he was still a part of the production. This year, however, they are insistent that he must physically take part, be that singing, dancing or narrating. He is adamant that he doesn’t want to face an audience of 100 parents.”
The mum further explained how she has taken her son to the GP for a check-up because he struggles with “excessive noise”.
They suggested he wears ear defenders when in a noisy environment – such as in bustling shopping centres or during school assembly.
Worried his classmates would mock him for wearing ear defenders, the child’s behaviour deteriorated during his concert rehearsals.
“Over the last week of performance rehearsals, he’s run out of the school hall, he’s argued with teachers, and he was accidentally kicked by another child and responded by intentionally kicking them back,” she added.
“I’m not excusing any of his behaviour and we have had several losses of screen time and conversations about having to do things in life that you don’t want to do.”
However, matters took a serious turn when he chose to flee from home, placing himself in grave danger.
She explained: “On Friday, after a further incident at the play, he took the house keys locked his sister and dad in the house and ran away. He’s never done this before.
“The police were called. We obviously searched for him and thankfully a school mum spotted him around 20 minutes later running up and down a road.
“The police will be completing a contact report and potentially a safeguarding referral although they’re happy he’s low risk given the circumstances.”
When lessons resumed the following week, the mother requested a meeting with the headteacher regarding Friday’s events after school.
She enquired whether her son might be given a different part, similar to what he’d undertaken the year before, but was informed “this would reward his poor behaviour”.
Desperately seeking support, the woman has turned to Mumsnet hoping other parents might offer guidance on managing this situation – and ultimately assist her son in expressing his feelings safely.
“I am desperate to find some coping mechanisms for him, and for the school to understand that, yes his behaviour has been unacceptable, but that I need them to work with me to find a reasonable adjustment,” she added. “Given he’s already in a spiral I do not want to reach the point where he’s refusing to attend school.”
While the majority of users condemned the headteacher for being so “blasé” about the matter, others encouraged her to seek professional advice regarding her son’s behaviour.
One user commented: “The child is so distressed by being forced to participate in a school play.
“It’s forcing him into really risky behaviour to get people to listen to him.
“You, as his mum, need to tell the school he’s not to participate and that’s the end of that. No lighting or backstage unless he actually wants to.”
Discussing the headteacher’s remarks, another user stated: “They need a serious look at how they address his needs.
“School based trauma is a real thing and the poor kid’s self esteem will take a real knock from their approach.”
A third user remarked: “Can he not be poorly on the day of the play? I wouldn’t put my son through that.”
