Orkney couple Szabolcs Veres, 56, and Ibolya Sandor, whose teenage son took his own life say pupils are being failed as schools block suicide-prevention lessons — and back the Daily Record’s Save Young Lives campaign.
A grieving mum and dad have warned that schools are “shutting the door” on life-saving mental-health education after losing their teenage son to suicide.
“Adventurous” and “bright” Soma Veres was just 15 when he passed away in February 2022. The Kirkwall Grammar School pupil had been battling depression and bullying before taking his own life.
His mum and dad Ibolya Sandor, 51, and Szabolcs Veres, 56, have since dedicated their lives to help prevent other families enduring the same loss.
The couple, from Orkney, run Soma’s Light charity, founded their son’s name, which works to enhance mental-health support for local young people, reduce stigma and promote suicide-prevention education.
But despite their work – and the many young people approaching them directly for help – Ibolya and Szabolcs say schools on the island continue to avoid conversations about suicide.
Specialist support teacher Ibolya told the Record: “Schools have given us the cold shoulder when we’ve offered to deliver suicide-prevention workshops.
“They are saying things like ‘We don’t want to open a can of worms’ or ‘We don’t want to plant ideas in their heads.’
“My argument is that these thoughts are often already in their heads. They need to be learning to understand them in a safe space.
“But there is clearly a stigma in schools around suicide and the education system is trailing behind. If pupils are being denied open conversations about mental health and this threatens their lives, then academic achievements mean nothing.”
Ibolya is speaking out in support of the Daily Record’s Save Young Lives campaign, launched earlier this month in response to the shocking number of young Scots dying by suicide. The campaign makes three demands:
- Every school in Scotland must provide suicide-prevention education
- Every political party must commit to reducing CAMHS waiting times
- Every adult must arm themselves with basic knowledge of youth suicide risks and how to get help
Iboyla continued: “We are 100% behind the Save Young Lives campaign. If enough people support this, we can make training mandatory in schools.”
Dad Szabolcs, a lecturer at the University of the Highlands and Islands, added: “We believe Soma would still be here if he’d been taught the tools he needed to navigate what he was feeling in school. Education about suicide, depression and self-harm could have helped him understand suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
“He didn’t want to leave us – he just didn’t know how to stay. And now we have to live with the pain of not having our son here every day.”
The couple say Soma had always been bright and thoughtful. He loved science, sailing, Sea Cadets and playing the saxophone.
But like many young people, the pandemic hit him hard and when he became depressed, he began researching suicide methods in secret.
Since his death three years ago, six more young people have died by suicide in Orkney, leaving a devastating toll on the island community.
Ibolya and Szabolcs say they have been approached by a number of kids rocked by the tragedies who want to learn how to cope, how to support each other and how to recognise danger signs.
“Kids are approaching us directly,” said Szabolcs. “They want to understand mental health – not just for themselves but for their friends. But they go to their schools and get told no, they can’t talk about suicide. It’s unbelievable.
“We are underestimating young people’s power and initiative. They know what they want from their education – and it includes support with mental health, to feel safe and be happy.”
Calling on the Scottish Government to respond to our campaign aims, Szabolcs continued: “The Scottish Government measures schools by academic achievement, but that’s not always what we should prioritise. If you focus on wellbeing first, academic achievement follows.”
Ibolya added: “Learning cannot take place if a young person does not feel safe. First create a place where children belong, feel safe and happy – the rest will follow naturally.
“We need to give the next generation a chance to survive. We are joining this fighting to prevent other families going through this unbearable pain.
“That will be Soma’s legacy. “
A spokesperson for Orkney Council said: “Orkney Islands Council fully recognises the vital need for mental health to be spoken about openly, honestly and safely in our classrooms and youth settings. We are committed to equipping our young people – and others in our community – with practical tools and strategies to support their mental health and wellbeing.
“Earlier this month young people from across Orkney came together for the Orkney Youth Conference – ‘Your mind, your voice, your future’ – which saw them participate in workshops and hear from keynote speakers on mental health, wellbeing, and self-care.
“Supporting young people’s mental health and wellbeing is something that we can all contribute to, whether directly in the roles that we hold, or indirectly as a wider community through making time to listen, understand, be compassionate and sometimes just simply to be there for whatever that young person needs.
“It’s equally important that young people have a voice in shaping the support available to them, and events like the conference give them an opportunity to learn, engage, and ultimately influence the services and policies that affect them.”
A Scottish Government spokesperson said: “Every suicide death is a tragedy, and our heartfelt sympathies go out to all those affected. Our aim is for anyone at risk or affected by suicide to get the help they need.
“Under Curriculum for Excellence, learning about mental wellbeing is covered in the Health and Wellbeing Curriculum area, which is delivered from 3-18 and includes learning about different ways to access support. Where appropriate, and where there is a need, this can also be covered through targeted interventions.
“The Scottish Government is also providing £16 million a year to councils to ensure that pupils aged ten and over can access school counselling services – this funding ensures, for example, that every Secondary school in Scotland has a school counsellor.
“This support sits alongside over £80 million investment since 2020 for community-based mental health and wellbeing supports for children, young people and their families.”
