News Beat
Thirsk survivor’s book reveals rise from abuse to world champion
IT has been almost ten years since Paul Remmer bravely spoke out about being sexually abused as a child after his attacker was finally jailed.
His path to finding peace with himself has being a long one – from hitting rock bottom and making an attempt to take his own life, to having therapy and building coping mechanisms through fitness.
Saturday, November 29 saw the release of a book documenting how he has overcome trauma and ultimately found hope – and how he became a world champion fitness model along the way.
Paul, 47, from Thirsk, North Yorkshire, first came forward publicly in 2016 to speak about being raped at the age of five by a trusted family friend, Graham Pipes.
His decision to waive anonymity helped raise awareness of the lasting impact of childhood abuse and inspired others to seek justice and support.
Now, almost a decade after his abuser was jailed, Paul has channelled his pain into purpose.
A new book, ‘Breaking The Silence – A Champion’s Journey’, written with his therapist, Dave Taylor, charts Paul’s emotional recovery and transformation.
Paul’s childhood was marked by fear and confusion.
He said: “I had struggled with the effects of what he did my whole life.
“I would wake up screaming in the night as a child, and was referred to a doctor who said I was displaying characteristics of having been through a traumatic experience but I still never told my parents.”
The abuse he endured at such a young age left “deep scars” that followed him into adulthood – and it wasn’t until 2011 that he found the courage to contact police.
But when the case initially failed due to lack of evidence, Paul’s world collapsed.
In 2013, he reached a point of crisis and attempted to take his own life.
“I thought that was it, that my voice didn’t matter,” he said.
“Fear was all I knew. It kept me trapped, stopping me from living.
“It sent me into a very dark place, and I needed help.”
A year later, a second victim came forward, and police reopened the investigation.
This time, justice prevailed.
In December 2015, Pipes was sentenced to five years and four months in prison, with a further three years on extended licence, after finally admitting to the rape of Paul and sexual assaults on another child.
It was a landmark moment, but it wasn’t the end of Paul’s struggle.
“Seeing him jailed brought closure, but it didn’t fix what was broken inside me,” he added.
With the support of counsellor Dave at Arch North East, Paul began therapy, a process he describes as both “painful and liberating.”
For years, he said had lived “locked away in his own mind with fear.”
“It took immense courage to relive the past,” he said.
That new found hope became the foundation for everything that followed.
Fitness soon became more than a coping mechanism.
Training gave Paul structure, focus, and a sense of control that had once been taken from him.
Within a few years, Paul was competing in and winning international fitness model competitions, eventually earning world championship titles.
His success, he says, is not about trophies, but transformation.
“I still struggle, I carry around my past with me every day, but the fitness and competitions help to keep everything at bay,” Paul said.
“I put everything into competing. I never thought I’d ever be able to do anything like this, but I’ve proved that people can do whatever they put their mind to.”
In ‘Breaking The Silence – A Champion’s Journey’, Paul and Dave reflect on their shared journey, both from the perspective of survivor and professional.
“By laying bare my vulnerabilities, I hoped to show that even in our darkest times, we are not alone,” Paul said.
“If my story helps one person to find hope, then my mission is complete.
“Mental health for men is so important, and my message to people is that help is out there if you need it.
“With social media, there’s so much pressure on people, including men. It’s important to tell men, especially young men, that it’s okay to cry and it’s okay to not be okay – there’s help out there for you.
“People who are considering going to the police to report historic abuse or abuse in any form should know that you have the strength to do it, and things get easier.”
Paul and Dave reconnected years later, with Paul asking his former therapist to write the book, something Dave has called an “honour”.
Dave, 52, from Middlesbrough, is still a therapist and also works for Sunderland University.
“The therapy was tough and graphic, and it’s evident from the book that the emotions were taken from both me and Paul,” Dave said.
“When me and Paul reconnected, we hadn’t spoken in years, but we added each other on social media, and the conversation about the book started from there.
“This book feels like the last piece of Paul’s therapy jigsaw and has completed his journey.”
While Dave notes the difficulties and emotions of writing the book, he believes the strength of Paul is a “testament to his character.”
He added: “We wanted to keep the book authentic and raw – and I think we achieved that.
“Paul’s has been one of the most difficult cases I’ve ever worked on, but it’s one of the most successful. What he has achieved after such turmoil in his life is nothing short of inspirational.
“Paul’s key message is that if this book helps one person, it’s worth it.”
‘Breaking The Silence – A Champion’s Journey’, based on Paul Remmer’s life, written by Dave Taylor, is out now and available on Amazon.
If you’ve been affected by issues raised in this article, help is available:
Arch North East: 01642-822335 Samaritans: 116-123 (free, 24/7) Victim Support (24/7): 08 08 16 89 111
