The couple are navigating the challenges and joys of foster parenting as the number of children in care reaches record high
A Northern Ireland couple say they feel “blessed” to give three siblings a secure home as the number of children in care here reaches its highest level in 30 years.
The number of children in care in Northern Ireland continues to rise each year – and now reaches almost 4,200.
Jonathan, 47 and Sarah McElroy, 50, have told of their joy in fostering three siblings. The couple live in Co Down with their three foster children, who are siblings aged 9, 4 and 2.
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Having been married for 20 years, they weren’t able to have their own birth children but say that they feel “really blessed” to be taking care of this family.
In what feels like their very own version of the movie Instant Family, the McElroys are navigating the challenges and joys of parenting two girls and a boy.
The children came to live with them in November 2023, in a huge change to their lives and one that they have embraced with the help of their families and local community.
Sarah explained: “I had been thinking about fostering for a long time but it wasn’t until August 2022 that Jonathan and I discussed it properly and decided we were ready to look into welcoming some foster children into our lives.
“We contacted Barnardo’s and about a year later we were approved as foster carers. Early on we had a wee girl who came to stay with us for a short break for 10 days. We enjoyed the experience so much that we knew this was something that we wanted to continue doing.
“We looked after a few other children on short breaks and then we were asked to consider looking after a brother and sister. Until the morning they arrived their little sister wasn’t supposed to be coming to us, but plans changed and we were asked to take her too and we said ‘yes’ immediately.
“We are so glad that we were able to keep the three children together as although she was just a baby at the time she always looked for them and they look out for her. Staying together has helped them a lot and I don’t want to think about the possibility that they might have been separated.
“It was a big change having three young children coming here at once, but we quickly developed routines that worked well for them to get used to a new environment. We love our busy and lively household!”
Jonathan said: “Although we don’t have birth children, we had a lot of experience looking after our nieces and nephews as we have big families. We felt we could provide some wee children with a safe and loving home. When the call came about taking all three children it was a bit of a surprise, but we just went with it. We knew there was room in the house and believed we could do it.
“The biggest reward is seeing them thriving. When they came to us they didn’t know what was happening but now they are so happy here and we are all enjoying family life together.”
The couple say they felt supported by Barnardo’s every step of the way and continue to do so.
Sarah said: “We received valuable training from Barnardo’s to help us support the children. One of the children woke a lot in the night at first with bad dreams and because of the training we knew how to help her get through that and feel safe.”
Sarah says she and Jonathan have enjoyed making lots of memories with their foster children: “In the summer we enjoyed simple trips, like going to the park or swimming or to the cinema, and we were so excited to take the children on their first holiday abroad! They absolutely loved being on a plane for the first time. They also loved Peppa Pig World and so did we, seeing it all through their eyes!”
The couple have also stressed the importance of the support of their wider families, church and community in welcoming the children.
Sarah said: “We both have family nearby and they have welcomed our foster children like their own, no difference is made at all. We have lots of children in the family and our foster kids talk about their cousins which is lovely. Our foster daughter loves to go out shopping with Jonathan’s mum, like any granny and granddaughter, or to go for a girlie day with me and her aunt and cousin who is a similar age.”
Sarah and Jonathan have a strong faith and their church has been a great support as they navigate parenthood.
Sarah said: “Our church family have also been amazing. At first one of the children was very withdrawn and wouldn’t talk to people but now the kids are all running around chatting to everyone. I know that the children feel a huge sense of belonging.”
Jonathan added: “We have had so much support from our church and the children have become part of the church family as well as the wider community we live in. It is as if they were here all their lives.”
Sarah said that she would encourage anyone wondering if fostering might be for them to “go for it” and find out more about getting involved.
“Not being able to have our own birth children was hard but I feel as if it was meant to be. If we were raising our own children now, we probably wouldn’t be looking after these three lovely children who really need a safe home. We feel incredibly blessed and especially with the growing number of children in care we would encourage others to consider if they can help.
“Don’t sit and wonder about it, contact Barnardo’s, and find out about the process of getting approved. We have had a great experience with all the staff, walking us through the process and have had excellent training to equip us to support the children we have fostered.
“It is so rewarding to see the benefits of the time you spend with the children. You are giving the children a safe home and a secure family and it feels like you are doing something so worthwhile with your life.”
Helen Browne, Assistant Head of Barnardo’s Fostering and Adoption in Northern Ireland, said: “Unfortunately, around one third of all children entering the care system are separated from a brother or sister. At Barnardo’s NI, we work hard to keep siblings together wherever possible as we know that those connections are likely to be the most enduring relationships they will have in life.
“Brothers and sisters who remain together have the benefit of shared experiences and can provide emotional and practical support to each other during these years and well into adulthood.
“With the number of children in care in Northern Ireland currently almost 4,200 – the highest in 30 years – we need more foster carers than ever, particularly for those children who have been waiting the longest. If you think you can help make a happier story for a child by fostering please get in touch with us to find out more.”
For more information on how you could open your home to children across Northern Ireland with Barnardo’s, please visit www.barnardos.org.uk/foster or call (028) 90652288. The charity’s lines are open from Monday to Friday, between 9am and 5pm.
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