Why complaining at a restaurant is better than venting online

When we treat ourselves to a meal out and something’s off – the food is cold or the service is slow – it can be difficult to know how to handle it.

Complaining can feel confrontational so many of us find ourselves making passive aggressive remarks or silently seething and then going home to vent online.

But there is an art to the restaurant complaint, according to hospitality industry professionals who have given us four tips on how to get the outcome you want.

Dining disappointments can be avoided by doing your research before you book, says Sam Morgan, head of Open Restaurant Group, which operates eight restaurants in England and Wales.

“I don’t go to a restaurant that I clearly know is not for me,” he says. “I don’t go to an Indian restaurant and ask them why they’re not serving me a lasagna.”

Getting recommendations from friends and family who know what you’re into can also help you make the right choice.

When you do sit down for your meal be friendly and build a rapport with your waiter, says Leslie Ann St John, who spent 15 years working in the restaurant industry.

“Be nice to your server – this is the person who’s going to be running back and forth to the kitchen for you,” she says, so if any issues do arise it’s good to have them onside.

If you’ve had a bad experience you might be tempted to avoid an awkward conversation at the restaurant and wait until you get home to complain.

Generally in the UK, customers prefer not to complain directly, says Sam.

“And when they send an email or leave a comment on social media, they’ll make a load of unreasonable threats such as ‘We’ll leave bad reviews unless you do X, Y and Z’,” he adds.

But Siba Mtongana, who runs many restaurants, says this does not allow the restaurant to fix the issue at the time and ultimately means it’s likely the problems will never be addressed.

“My plea would be to complain to the manager on the day because that is the right thing to do,” she says.

Complain in the moment, she urges. If it can’t be fixed there and then, salvage what you can from your evening and speak to head office or as a final resort leave an online review.

If you’re unhappy with something, be clear about what is wrong and on the outcome you want.

“I ordered a margarita that was hideously salty,” says Leslie. “I flagged the waiter and said, ‘I don’t mind a bit of salt in my margarita but I’m sipping this, and it feels like my blood pressure is going up.”

“He smiled and took it up immediately and said ‘would you like another one or would you like something different?’”

Her top tip is to be specific about what will resolve the issue for you, whether that’s a replacement dish, or the price to be taken off the bill.

If you’re clear about what you want, they’ll usually do everything they can to make it happen, adds Leslie.

It’s easy for emotions to get out of control when a meal doesn’t go to plan, but it’s important not to lose your cool.

“Maintain your poise, say to the server, ‘hey, this is what the situation is’. If the server apparently cannot fix it, then say ‘can I see your supervisor?’” Leslie says.

Boston-based restaurant owner Seth Gerber believes people often avoid complaining as they assume it won’t help.

“There is an assumption that management does not care or does not want to rectify the situation.”

But a correctly handled complaint is likely to be appreciated and of value to the restaurant, he says.

And lastly – make sure your complaint is justified in the first place.

Sam recounts how one of his customers complained about getting a ticket for driving in a bus lane on the way to the restaurant.

He said the idea that they should have known the customer’s route and pre-warned them of the risk was so clearly unreasonable it was comical.