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Actor Adeel Akhtar on following his instincts and ‘not being a minority in a room’

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“There are actors who have a stratospheric rise straight after drama school and there are others that happens to later on,” says Adeel Akhtar, star of Sherwood, Utopia and Fool Me Once, drily noting that he is in the latter category.

In his twenties, Akhtar was “unemployed for years”; at 30, to reduce living costs, he set up home in a van. “It’s hard to know whether it was simply the difficulty of being an actor,” he says, “or whether it was the context in which I was acting, which was that there weren’t many parts available for people like me.” Did he ever think about giving up and doing something else? “All the time. But one thing my parents instilled in me was that if you start something you’ve got to finish it.”

Akhtar, 44, and I are talking at his publicist’s office in London’s Fitzrovia (he lives south of the Thames in Camberwell). After a string of successful TV and film appearances, it’s safe to say that those lean years are behind him, though experience has taught him not to take anything for granted. Recognisable by his hangdog features — he has been described as looking permanently “sleepy”, which he concedes is accurate — his is a face viewers will know, even if they can’t always summon a name.

He excels at portraying underdogs or men struggling to keep a lid on their darker impulses. He first made his mark as a blundering jihadi who accidentally blows himself up in Chris Morris’s 2010 satire Four Lions. In 2016, he brought unexpected tenderness to the role of a man who kills his daughter after she resists an arranged marriage in Murdered By My Father, and in the first series of Sherwood he played a shy widower who kills his son’s fiancée and goes into hiding. Both parts earned him Bafta Awards for Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor, respectively. Collecting his award for Sherwood, he said: “It feels a little bit like a miracle.”

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A man in Middle Eastern garb wears ear defenders and holds a detonator as an explosion goes off behind him in a field
Akhtar played a blundering jihadi in ‘Four Lions’ in 2010 © Alamy

The miracle wasn’t that he won, he says now, but the presence of so many Black and brown faces at the ceremony, among them his friend Meera Syal, who played his mother in the BBC comedy drama Back To Life. He had similar feelings recently when he went to see Slave Play, Jeremy O Harris’s drama about interracial couples, at a theatre that hosted Black Out nights for people of colour. “There is something really powerful about not being a minority in a room,” he says. “It sort of feels miraculous when the [usual] feeling is you defining yourself as what you’re not as opposed to what you are.”

Akhtar’s latest role is in the BBC crime drama Showtrial, which is back for a second series. He plays Sam Malik, an insomniac lawyer hired to defend a police officer accused of the murder of an environmental activist. The officer in question is Justin Mitchell, played with chilling charisma by Michael Socha (This is England, Being Human). While Mitchell makes no secret of his loathing towards the victim, and for climate activists generally, Malik tries to hide his dislike of his cocksure client, who protests his innocence but whose guilt seems certain.

“We’re sitting in that tension,” says Akhtar, “because everyone has a right to a defence . . . The show is interrogating whether that makes Sam’s job easier or more difficult — and I think it’s both.”

Long scenes between Akhtar and Socha in a police interview room have the feel of a play, both in their intensity and the simplicity of the staging. “It was very much a tennis game between us,” Akhtar says. “When I was acting opposite Michael, and he was saying something really confronting, the reactions that we had were very much in the moment. That must be what it’s like, to defend somebody who’s charismatic and who can make you slightly buy into their worldview. And then you have to shake it off and think, ‘No, that’s not how the world is or should be’.”

A man in a suit stands and faces a man who is sitting at a table in an interview room
Michael Socha and Akhtar in ‘Showtrial’

Playing a solicitor wasn’t a stretch for Akhtar, who, many years ago, nearly became one. His father, a first-generation immigrant from Pakistan, worked as an immigration officer at Heathrow airport before retraining as a lawyer. His son was expected to follow in his footsteps. “It wasn’t even a discussion,” Akhtar recalls. “He said, ‘You’re going to be a lawyer’ and even filled out my [university application] form.”

But Akhtar made no secret of his love of acting, even though British Asians were few and far between in the films and TV shows he watched. He recalls seeing My Beautiful Laundrette (1985) and noticing how “these people were defined by their characters and their idiosyncrasies and not simply their race. It lit something up in my brain to know that could exist.”

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It was his mother who sent him for speech and drama lessons at school: “She just wanted me to say my T’s properly.” Later, unbeknown to his father, she helped him get into the National Youth Theatre. At 16, he and some school friends put on a production of Harold Pinter’s The Homecoming. It was his first experience of teachers telling him he was good at something, and led to the realisation that “art can really mirror the life that you’re living. And it can be a beautiful release from the tensions that you’re feeling. I found it intoxicating.”

Nonetheless, after school, Akhtar adhered to his father’s wishes and completed his law degree. But just as he was preparing for his legal practice course, fate intervened with a trip to New York. His girlfriend at the time was auditioning for the Actors Studio Drama School, so Akhtar volunteered to be her scene-study partner — “I was there to help her with her lines and make her look good.”

After he got home, the school rang and said they liked what he did on stage and suggested he study there. Akhtar dropped everything and went for it. The course, he says, was “very method-y. It was all about rigour and living the part. They used to do this thing called the coffee-cup exercise, where we would spend ages drinking an imaginary cup of coffee. You had to feel the heat, you had to smell it. After I left, I thought: ‘why not just drink a cup of coffee?’”

Nowadays, he employs a way of working that doesn’t involve imaginary hot drinks: “I’ve got kids, I don’t have time for all that stuff,” he says with mock exasperation. “[Acting] can be complicated or you can be loyal to your first instincts when you read something and not stray too far from that.”

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‘Showtrial’ is on BBC1 and iPlayer from October 6

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Bargain supermarket with over 300 branches closes store for GOOD today – with shoppers left disappointed

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Bargain supermarket with over 300 branches closes store for GOOD today - with shoppers left disappointed

A BARGAIN supermarket has closed its doors for good, as residents mourn the loss to their local highstreet.

The branch is part of a major chain with more than 300 stores across the nation.

Supermarket chain Farmfoods has closed a branch in south London

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Supermarket chain Farmfoods has closed a branch in south LondonCredit: Getty
The Sutton branch closed its doors on October 5

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The Sutton branch closed its doors on October 5Credit: Getty

Farmfoods sells frozen food and fresh groceries at bargain prices.

The closure of the Sutton branch in south London was announced last month, with the supermarket finally shutting up shop yesterday (October 5).

It was prompted by the landlord’s decision to redevelop the site, according to MyLondon.

After news broke of the closure, locals took to a residents’ Facebook group to voice their disappointment.

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One wrote: “That’s really sad, I love Farmfoods, soon there shall be no shops left in Sutton.”

Another praised the branch, saying it was a “useful shop, especially in COVID times”.

Others were unhappy about yet another loss to Sutton highstreet.

One said: “Sutton could end up a dormitory town as Crawley was, no services, or many shops in town, but plenty of places to live and good transport to get to and from it.”

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Another echoed: “Another one gone.”

A third wrote :”There will be nothing left except for flats. No shops anywhere.”

Proud mum nabs a freezer full of food for just £12, but trolls say it’s ‘rubbish’ they ‘wouldn’t feed to their dogs’

However, the chain does have plans to reopen the site at some point in the future, according to a spokesperson.

Property Director Alistair Kay said: “The closure is due to our landlord intending to redevelop the land the building sits on. No other Farmfoods shops are affected.

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“We’re grateful to all our customers for their loyalty shopping with us at the site over the years and will continue to look for suitable opportunities to reopen in Sutton in future.”

Before the closure, the supermarket launched a huge closing down sale – with 50% off all stock.

Why are retailers closing stores?

RETAILERS have been feeling the squeeze since the pandemic, while shoppers are cutting back on spending due to the soaring cost of living crisis.

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High energy costs and a move to shopping online after the pandemic are also taking a toll, and many high street shops have struggled to keep going.

The high street has seen a whole raft of closures over the past year, and more are coming.

The number of jobs lost in British retail dropped last year, but 120,000 people still lost their employment, figures have suggested.

Figures from the Centre for Retail Research revealed that 10,494 shops closed for the last time during 2023, and 119,405 jobs were lost in the sector.

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It was fewer shops than had been lost for several years, and a reduction from 151,641 jobs lost in 2022.

The centre’s director, Professor Joshua Bamfield, said the improvement is “less bad” than good.

Although there were some big-name losses from the high street, including Wilko, many large companies had already gone bust before 2022, the centre said, such as Topshop owner Arcadia, Jessops and Debenhams.

“The cost-of-living crisis, inflation and increases in interest rates have led many consumers to tighten their belts, reducing retail spend,” Prof Bamfield said.

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“Retailers themselves have suffered increasing energy and occupancy costs, staff shortages and falling demand that have made rebuilding profits after extensive store closures during the pandemic exceptionally difficult.”

Alongside Wilko, which employed around 12,000 people when it collapsed, 2023’s biggest failures included Paperchase, Cath Kidston, Planet Organic and Tile Giant.

The Centre for Retail Research said most stores were closed because companies were trying to reorganise and cut costs rather than the business failing.

However, experts have warned there will likely be more failures this year as consumers keep their belts tight and borrowing costs soar for businesses.

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The Body Shop and Ted Baker are the biggest names to have already collapsed into administration this year.

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Haiti seeks ‘urgent’ reinforcement of Kenya-led force to fight gangs

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A drastic increase in funding and personnel for a Kenyan-led international mission is needed to wrest control of much of Haiti’s capital from the violent grip of gangs, the Caribbean nation’s acting prime minister has said.

“It’s a two-pronged issue, not enough people [and] insufficient equipment of our police forces and the structures in Haiti,” Garry Conille, the country’s interim leader, told the Financial Times.

“As we attack one major neighbourhood, gangs then spread out and attack us in other places, so our police chief has to make a very difficult decision of redeploying his assets,” said Conille, a former UN development worker.

“You can understand why four months into this, we’re not yet finished with one neighbourhood.”

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Conille’s call for increased funding was given added urgency by a massacre on Thursday in Pont-Sondé, a town 100km north of the capital, which left at least 70 people dead and displaced more than 6,200, according to the UN.

The attack was carried out by the Gran Grif gang, which swept through the town in the country’s rice-growing heartland, firing at residents with automatic rifles. It is the worst massacre in Haiti since at least 2018, when 71 people were killed by gangs in a slum in Port-au-Prince, the capital.

The UN’s Human Rights Office on Friday called for “increased international financial and logistical assistance” to the Kenyan-led mission after the “horrifying” attack.

Several nations have pledged in recent weeks to send police officers to Haiti to build up the faltering UN-backed mission.

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Visiting Port-au-Prince last month, Kenya’s President William Ruto pledged to augment the country’s existing 400-strong contingent with another 600 officers. Reinforcements from Jamaica and Belize have arrived, while Guatemala has promised to send 150 officers.

When the UN approved the mission a year ago, the force was expected to total about 2,500 officers from nations including Bangladesh, Barbados and Chad, providing a significant boost to Haiti’s outmatched police.

But progress has been slow since Kenyan officers first arrived in June.

They secured the country’s main airport but have done little to beat back some 200 gangs that are estimated to control about 80 per cent of Port-au-Prince.

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“Every house is transformed into a trap, and you have the gangs putting holes in walls and shooting from these tight holes,” Conille said.

“It’s really a house-to-house operation for the police with high-risk engagement. And then once you finish this engagement, you need to consolidate, which means that you need to bring in the state very quickly.”

Kenyan police forces patrol a neighbourhood in Port-au-Prince in September
Kenyan police forces patrol a neighbourhood in Port-au-Prince in September © Ralph Tedy Erol/Reuters

Haitians are becoming exasperated with the mission’s slow progress, even as joint operations between international and Haitian police intensify in neighbourhoods under gang control.

“People are angry because they expected more, and they are starting to lose hope,” said Dimitry St Juste, who abandoned a small bar he ran in Port-au-Prince’s violent Solino neighbourhood, and is now living nearby.

“The situation is very bad, people are dying, and houses are burnt down,” said Mélissa Joseph, a Haitian police officer in Solino.

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Unable to stem a wave of violence which has displaced about 600,000 people, the government of Ariel Henry collapsed in April and was replaced by a transitional presidential council — led by Conille — tasked with convening Haiti’s first elections since 2016.

The council’s legitimacy was challenged this week when investigators accused three members of corruption.

But the security crisis, which has deepened since President Jovenel Moïse was assassinated in 2021, remains a major hurdle for a vote scheduled to be held next year.

According to Conille, up to 80 per cent of the country’s 7,000-strong force have administrative or other functions, highlighting the migration of some frontline officers and budget restrictions that limit operational roles, while gangs have increasingly cultivated connections with transnational criminal groups.

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Map showing a detailed view of part of Haiti, focusing on Port-au-Prince and its neighboring regions

Conille said funding was the mission’s biggest problem.

The US, which has declined to send personnel but remains the mission’s main financial backer, has contributed $300mn in equipment and support to the mission — including armoured vehicles, communications equipment and the construction of an operating base in Port-au-Prince.

It is estimated the force’s operating costs will total $600mn a year. The UN has only received pledges worth $85mn for the Kenyan-led mission.

The UN Security Council renewed the current force’s mandate on Monday.

A US proposal to upgrade the force to a peacekeeping operation, enabling it to be financed through designated UN funds rather than voluntary contributions, appears unlikely to win support from veto-wielding Russia and China.

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The two allies abstained from the vote that established the current mission.

A senior US official said: “The fact that we are pushing for a peacekeeping operation is a clear signal that we want to make the gains that the [international mission] has been able to achieve in its relatively short time on the ground, durable and sustainable.”

Conille said a peacekeeping force “would add value” but as chaos continues to engulf the country it should not be considered “in lieu of the urgent need to reinforce the mission now”.

People wait for a food distribution in a displaced persons camp at the Lycée Marie Jeanne school in Port-au-Prince on October 2
The World Food Programme estimates almost half of the country’s 11mn population faces acute food shortages © larens Siffroy/AFP/Getty Images

Land access to the capital’s port was closed last week during a spate of attacks, while gangs are expanding beyond the city.

In August, violent gangs retook Ganthier, a town east of Port-au-Prince, after Kenyan and Haitian officers retreated, and have expanded their presence north-west to Cabaret and Arcahaie.

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Police fired tear gas at protests that broke out in August in Solino, which is prized by gangs for its strategic location on the road to the airport, and is a stronghold of Jimmy Cherizier, a notorious warlord known as Barbecue.

Joseph, the officer, has not taken part in joint operations with the Kenyans and expressed frustration about their effectiveness.

“The Kenyans and the Haitian police use armoured vehicles, but they continually break down,” Joseph said. “They need more weapons and a lot of ammunition.”

William O’Neill, the UN’s expert on human rights in Haiti, last month said the “humanitarian consequences [of gang violence] are dramatic”, with marauding gangs continuing to receive weapons smuggled from the US despite an international arms embargo.

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The World Food Programme estimates almost half of the country’s 11mn population faces acute food shortages.

“The world has a lot of other priorities,” Conille said. “But the case we’re desperately trying to make is that Haitian children are not less deserving than children in Ukraine or Gaza.”

Additional reporting by Andres Schipani in New York

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‘I love these’ cry shoppers as they spot M&S treat which has made a return for holidays

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‘I love these’ cry shoppers as they spot M&S treat which has made a return for holidays

M&S customers are delighted after spotting a classic treat which has made a reappearance on supermarket shelves for the holidays.

Eagle-eyed shoppers noticed Halloween Colin the Caterpillars Chocolate Sponge Mini Rolls are once again being stocked across the retailer’s stores.

Halloween Colin the Caterpillars are back in stock and M&S

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Halloween Colin the Caterpillars are back in stock and M&SCredit: FACEBOOK

Shoppers could not contain their excitement after spotting the chocolate snack was back in store.

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Commenting on a social media post, one said: “I love these”.

While another said: “Omg I need.”

Meanwhile, a third said: “These are what I want.”

The treat, which is a festive take on the classic caterpillar cake, has been rolled out ahead of Halloween on October 30.

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The mini chocolate sponge rolls are filled with red-coloured white chocolate buttercream.

To celebrate the spooky holiday, the cakes are covered in milk chocolate and decorated to look like a mummy.

The product retails for £3.75 and contains five mini cakes inside each packet.

However, it is a limited edition product, meaning once Halloween is over shoppers will no longer be able to buy it.

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M&S’s range of Colin and Connie Caterpillar sweets and cakes has become a fan-favourite amongst shoppers.

Chocolate fans rushing to buy Tony’s Chocolonely dupe from major supermarket

But back in August, the retailer confirmed it had axed some of the treats from the range as part of a product relaunch.

Over the summer, M&S scrapped its Colin and Connie “Together Forever” sweets, leading one fan to comment online: “Sad that Colin and Connie are no longer Together Forever”.

At the time a spokeswoman said: “Our Connie and Colin sweets were discontinued in July 2024 as part of our confectionery relaunch, however within this relaunch we have a brand new product, Colin Party Time, bursting with six flavours in party theme shapes. 

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“We also have a full range of Colin sweets including our Colin Softies and Colin Fruit Gums.

She added: “Colin is the original caterpillar character, so he is always going to show up more throughout our confectionery and bakery ranges. “

M&S also confirmed that it is quietly axing the Colin The Caterpillar Fizzy Rainbow sweets.

The sweets were rainbow in colour with a sour sugary coating.

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Thankfully, it is not all doom and gloom for M&S shoppers as the retailer confirmed it will bring back an iconic drink this Christmas.

The supermarket’s original snow globe gin liqueur will make a return for the holidays after a hiatus.

Previously, the gin came in two flavours – Clementine and Spiced Sugar Plum – but this year, only the Clementine one will be sold.

Due to the drink’s popularity, back in 2020 customers were given a limit and told they could only buy two at a time.

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M&S didn’t sell the liqueur last year, but it is now bringing the iconic drink back.

Why are products axed or recipes changed?

ANALYSIS by chief consumer reporter James Flanders.

Food and drinks makers have been known to tweak their recipes or axe items altogether.

They often say that this is down to the changing tastes of customers.

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There are several reasons why this could be done.

For example, government regulation, like the “sugar tax,” forces firms to change their recipes.

Some manufacturers might choose to tweak ingredients to cut costs.

They may opt for a cheaper alternative, especially when costs are rising to keep prices stable.

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For example, Tango Cherry disappeared from shelves in 2018.

It has recently returned after six years away but as a sugar-free version.

Fanta removed sweetener from its sugar-free alternative earlier this year.

Suntory tweaked the flavour of its flagship Lucozade Original and Orange energy drinks.

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While the amount of sugar in every bottle remains unchanged, the supplier swapped out the sweetener aspartame for sucralose.

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James Cleverly overtakes Robert Jenrick in Tory leadership poll

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James Cleverly, former foreign secretary, has leapfrogged his Conservative leadership rival Robert Jenrick, former immigration minister, in a survey of Tory members, as the contest enters a crucial week.

Cleverly’s strong speech to last week’s Tory conference in Birmingham has blown the fight to succeed Rishi Sunak wide open, as the party’s 121 MPs prepare to whittle down four candidates to a shortlist of two.

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According to a poll of Tory members by the grassroots website ConservativeHome, Cleverly wowed party members and is now running second in the survey behind shadow housing secretary Kemi Badenoch.

On Tuesday Tory MPs will vote to eliminate one of the four candidates, with the centrist former security minister Tom Tugendhat expected to be knocked out.

The MPs will then vote again on Wednesday to create a final shortlist of two candidates, to be presented to party members. The grass roots ballot closes on October 31 with a winner declared on November 2.

The final vote could be tight. Jenrick, who is fighting on a strong anti-immigration platform, is losing ground, while many MPs are concerned that while Badenoch may be combative, she is also prone to unforced errors.

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The ConHome survey of 784 members found that Cleverly has momentum, picking up 12 points compared with the website’s pre-conference survey, and overtaking Jenrick, who gave a lacklustre speech in Birmingham.

“The row over the Chagos Islands, which broke out whilst the survey was open, clearly hasn’t hurt him much,” ConHome said, referring to last week’s transfer of UK sovereignty over the archipelago to Mauritius. Negotiations started in 2022 while Cleverly was foreign secretary.

The poll of Tory members gave Badenoch 32 points, Cleverly 25, Jenrick 19 and Tugendhat 12, and it also considered how each candidate would fare in a final head-to-head contest.

It concluded that Badenoch would beat Jenrick by a 53/33 margin, but that she would only beat Cleverly by 48/42. Cleverly would beat Jenrick by 54/36, according to the survey.

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For some Tory MPs, the biggest question on Wednesday is whether they want to put Badenoch on the final ballot, given that the polls suggest she stands a strong chance of winning with party members.

Badenoch’s campaign style is direct, but some Tory MPs fear she is also unpredictable. Last week she suggested that maternity pay was too high, criticised the BBC as pro-Labour, and suggested that up to 10 per cent of civil servants were politically motivated leakers and should be jailed.

“It’s frankly embarrassing,” said one former cabinet minister, who has not declared for any candidate. “We have got to be better than that.”

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In the last round Jenrick topped the ballot of MPs with 33 votes, with Badenoch second on 28 and Cleverly and Tugendhat on 21. If Tugendhat is eliminated on Tuesday, many of his votes could transfer to Cleverly, another centrist.

On Sunday Badenoch secured an unexpected vote of confidence from Ron DeSantis, Florida’s Republican governor, who said: “She’s strong, she’s courageous and she will be an inspiration for conservatives not just in the United Kingdom, but all across the world.”

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Flight attendant reveals ‘elbow rest’ rule when sitting in the middle seat

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Passengers opting to recline their seat may find a disgruntled traveller behind them

A FLIGHT attendant has revealed the ‘elbow rest’ rule that passengers need to know when flying, especially if you’re caught in the middle seat.

From reclining to shoulder surfing, many have their own grievances and pet-peeves when it comes to sitting next to a stranger when travelling to their destination.

Passengers opting to recline their seat may find a disgruntled traveller behind them

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Passengers opting to recline their seat may find a disgruntled traveller behind themCredit: Getty
The long list of grievances seems to differ between passenger destinations

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The long list of grievances seems to differ between passenger destinationsCredit: Getty

Around half of UK households fly once a year with videos on social media regularly going viral across the globe when tensions flare on-board an aircraft.

The latest information from a former flight attendant revealed the long list of bugbears that can be just as frustrating for cabin crew, with one particular issue always causing a stir.

According to Charmaine Davies the question of whether to recline or not often leads to impatience from those seated behind.

Prof Jim Salzman of the University of California, Los Angeles, described how crammed airlines combined with passengers hoping to take up more space results in the inevitable.

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He told the BBC: “[The airlines] are able to pass on the anger and frustration of cramped seating to passengers who blame each other for bad behaviour instead of the airlines who created the problem in the first place.”

On the topic of space, another common gripe was armrest hogging, particularly for those caught in the middle.

One flight attendant for a major US airline explained how she often ends up sitting between “two guys with both their arms on armrests” when she doesn’t get to opt for a specific seat.

She said: “I wait until they reach for a drink and take the armrest. One [guy] kept trying to push my arm, and I just had to give him a look: ‘We’re not doing that today.’”

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According to a 2023 Skyscanner survey, nearly a third of UK passengers found those taking up armrest space annoying.

The debate of which seat earns top spot – window or aisle – has long been a discussion.

Yet, no matter which one you prefer problems can escalate when your seated neighbour needs to go to the toilet.

With over half of Americans suggesting that climbing over someone to use the restroom on a plane was unacceptable, others may be at a loss of what to do when someone has fallen asleep.

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A former flight attendant for Virgin Atlantic, Zoe, raised the issue of how alcohol consumption can heighten the need to head to the loo.

She described a flight bound for Ibiza with a number of passengers having a drink to hand.

This meant that as soon as the seatbelt sign was switched off, “everybody stood up” and some even got “quite aggressive”.

Eventually, they were forced to ask everyone to sit back down with one passenger having “a wee in a carrier bag” as he was unable to wait.

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On a similar note, many find a grievance with passengers choosing to stand up just as the plane has landed.

Especially with the ground crew often needing to hook up the passenger boarding bridge or stairs which can take a few minutes.

The list goes on with people using mobiles without headphones, draping hair over the back of a seat, removing shoes or just being generally inconsiderate.

William Hanson, an etiquette coach, advised: “If you don’t want to temper your behaviour to get along with other people then there’s something wrong with you, to be blunt.”

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Worst passengers to have to deal with

A flight attendant has revealed the worst passengers to deal with on flights, here’s what she said:

Drunk passengers

“People who make the most of the booze on board are really irritating. We have a lot to think about on our flights as it is, without looking after people who have drunk themselves into a stupor.

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“My advice for passengers is to enjoy the included booze, in moderation.

“If there’s an emergency and you’re hammered, you’re going to be no use to anybody, least of all yourself. So it’s best to stay alert.”

Vapers

“Vaping on board is becoming more popular and it’s ridiculous that people think they can get away with it.

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“The big plume of fruity smoke is always a bit of a giveaway.

“But it can also cause panic in the rest of the cabin as well – imagine seeing a big smokey cloud in a plane? It’s definitely not something you’re expecting, so will definitely leave people feeling a little frightened.”

Listening to music without headphones

“There’s few things worse than tinny phone music blaring out through the plane cabin, or an episode of Breaking Bad being broadcast from one passenger to the people around them.

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“The thing I always tell people to remember is that there are other people on board the plane and they aren’t all travelling for the same reason.

“So keep your music and TV to yourself and just think long and hard about whether the other people on board want to listen to your awful dance music.”

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One year on, my daughter is still Hamas’s hostage

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My life stopped on October 7 2023. When I go to sleep at night, I see my youngest daughter, Doron, in my dreams. Her face is pale, her eyes sunken, her cheeks hollow from starvation. This isn’t the image of her in photographs around our home. This is the most current image we have of her, broadcast to the world by Hamas, while she has been held hostage in Gaza for the past year.

One full year will not reduce our Doron to simply a hostage. Doron is a daughter, sister, “Dodo” to her five nephews, and friends. She is a talented and dedicated veterinary nurse from Kibbutz Kfar Aza.

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On October 7, Doron was kidnapped from her apartment in the kibbutz where we all lived. At 10.20am, she called me and said that someone had broken into her room. She was hiding under her bed. Ten minutes later, she sent a voice message to her friends — a message that said only one thing: “They’ve got me, they’ve got me.” A year later, she is still held captive by Hamas.

Kfar Aza had 37 residents in its “young generation” neighbourhood: a small garden lined with bungalows where the people in their twenties and thirties lived. It’s arguably the most fun part of the kibbutz. There is always music playing, barbecues and games. Eleven inhabitants of this neighbourhood were murdered and seven were kidnapped. The homes that belonged to young nature lovers and children of kibbutz members now sit destroyed. One year later, these structures stand as they were left on October 7, a hollowed out reminder of the vibrant community that once lived there.

Doron Steinbrecher standing in a flower plantation in southern Israel
Doron at a flower plantation in southern Israel © Family handout

In January, months after her kidnapping, I heard my daughter’s voice again. This time, it was from deep within the tunnels, in a horrific video published by Hamas, where she and two other female hostages are talking to the camera. She looked so pale, so weak, so afraid, but alive. While this video brought a sign of life, now, so many months later, we still worry tirelessly. Anything could happen at any moment. Every time I watch — or even think about — that video, I am more determined to fight for her freedom.

We know from hostages who have returned that there’s not enough food or water, they can’t sleep and, of course, are not given their medication. Imagining my daughter in these conditions, I can barely breathe. But beyond all of this horror is the sexual violence she and the other women in captivity are facing. 

We have heard that the young women are followed around everywhere, including the bathroom. Testimonies have emerged from witnesses about depraved acts of rape and sexual torture. It didn’t start and stop on October 7. This puts our fear front and centre — is this happening to Doron?

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There’s no time. There are hostages from our kibbutz who have returned, but sadly, none of them have seen Doron. The fear is that if they haven’t seen her, she’s alone. The worst thing is simply not knowing anything about her. Having no access, no way to check she’s OK or to help her.

For a whole year we have attended rallies, spoken to anyone who would lend an ear and campaigned for the release of our daughter and the other hostages. My life stopped on October 7. I’m constantly thinking about what more I can do. I can’t stop and think about myself and my needs. They’re on hold. Set aside. This isn’t the time to think about myself.

I can’t understand — how is the world not screaming alongside us?

We must unite as a global community with a singular objective — to exert pressure on Hamas to release the hostages and agree to a ceasefire deal. Only collective efforts can make a difference. Our plea to the rest of the world is to bring Doron and the other hostages home. You are our voice, I ask you to keep echoing it everywhere. All the time. Until the last hostage returns.

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For nine months I carried her inside me. I protected her, nourished her, guarded her. I thought I was bringing her into a good world. But I couldn’t help her when she was kidnapped. She was just 10 metres away from me. I wish I could have continued to keep her safe inside me.

I remember the last conversations I had with her. I want her so badly to know that we’re all fighting for her. Doron, please, I’m begging you — keep fighting until we can reach you.

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