Amber, 29, doesn’t want to admit that she can’t afford to date – but she’s one of many feeling the financial pressure of trying to meet a life partner.
She told i: “If I haven’t been able to afford to go on a date, I haven’t said – admitting you’re poor sucks.”
Amber heads out on dates a few times per month – things like the cinema, lunch or brunch.
“Even little brunch dates start adding up,” she says. “I’ve got a loaf of bread in my pantry just shaking its head at me every time I come back having spent £20 per head for brunch and a rubbish coffee.”
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Nearly a quarter of single Brits said last year they were planning to stop going on dates to save money, according to data from Aqua.
A separate survey by eharmony found that the cost of living was the third-highest reason stopping singles from going on dates this summer, just behind not meeting the right people and confidence.
But many aren’t sure how to approach the money conversation.
“I’ve definitely put overpriced gourmet pizzas on a credit card,” Amber says. “You don’t want to appear poor. And being that frank in the early stages of a relationship is hard and could be a [mood] killer.”
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For many singles, dating has become an expensive pursuit, which can be awkward to discuss with a potential match.
Louise Bastock, financial wellness expert at personal finance comparison site finder.com, says there is often a lot of shame and embarrassment around talking about money.
“Throw in the vulnerability of dating, and you have a perfect storm of insecurity,” she says.
‘I could’ve paid for a holiday instead’
There is also the issue of whether singles feel dating is worth the cost – especially when there’s the risk of rejection, confusing situationships or being ghosted.
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Ben, 36, says he’s questioned whether dating is the best use of his money. He spends between £60 to £100 on a date, and will take someone out up to twice a week.
“One month’s worth of dates could easily cost the same as a short trip abroad,” he says.
He now feels like dating can be “unrewarding at times if you’re spending lots of money but not making meaningful connections”.
For men in particular, there can be pressure to foot the bill entirely.
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Eharmony found that 58 per cent of single men said they had picked up the entire bill when dating compared to 15 per cent of women.
However, some surveys have shown that men are more likely to believe they should pay the full bill, with women more likely to say they’re happy to split.
Karl*, 23, says he feels “pressure” to foot the bill and he has experienced people getting “pushy” about going to a particular place for a date.
“Sometimes I see the menu and I think ‘this is crazy, I can’t afford that’,” he says, adding that he has had to choose not to go on a date because he couldn’t afford it.
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Madeleine Duperouzel, a postgraduate student, says she would expect a man to pay for the first three dates and then “grab the occasional drink here and there” afterwards.
The 27-year-old says women are usually the “disenfranchised party” in heterosexual dating and there is already a “power imbalance” between men and women.
“[Paying] shows the guy is operating in good faith and willing to spend not only time, but money on getting to know you – plus it helps balance out what you’ve likely spent on just getting ready (nails, hair depending on your inclination, and purchasing skin and beauty products),” she says.
On the other hand, Aaron*, 29, says he has almost never footed the bill and has got “genuine pushback” after offering to pay.
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“I’ve had several girls specifically say to me, and not while negotiating a bill, that they hate it when men try to pay for everything – they think it’s weird, old-fashioned and patronising. After a few dates, if I like them, I’ll do other things: buy little gifts, plan elaborate dates,” he says.
Mental health expert and licensed counsellor Rychel Johnson agrees the expectation for men to foot the bill is “outdated”.
“When money’s already tight, that pressure can turn what should be a fun night out into a stressful one,” she says.
However, she says the pressure is felt on both sides as women can worry about having nothing to wear and not being able to afford anything new, or simply being too embarrassed to talk about money.
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Many young people feel the pressure of dating, especially when it comes to finances (Janina Steinmetz/Getty)
TikTokers told: ‘Don’t date if you’re broke’
Some of this stress for both genders can come from social media. TikTok is full of viral videos with captions like, “Don’t date if you’re broke” and, “Stop trying to date if you don’t have money.”
One influencer who makes videos about “femininity and self-improvement” tells her followers that men “need to be able to keep up” with an attractive woman by providing for her and taking her out on dates.
“If you’re a woman as well, you can’t date if you’re broke because men will never respect you if you’re a financial burden on them,” she says.
Another male influencer who posts videos about dating says people should not date if they don’t have money. “Just go work, just go work your job and make money and when you make money, go date,” he says.
However, experts say dating doesn’t have to cost a fortune – and everyone deserves a chance at love, regardless of how much money they have in the bank.
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‘Dates don’t have to cost a fortune – I’ve had first kisses on shop escalators’
Dating coach Nash Wright, who runs gotalktogirls.com, says he helps men come up with low-cost date ideas.
“A great date is really about spending time together, having a chance to talk, and potentially a chance to touch,” he says.
Nash suggests having a coffee together – and while this can feel a little ordinary in a big-brand coffee shop, you can “add some magic” by choosing the venue carefully.
“By finding a café that offers something special, like some art, or a collection of old books, and more intimate seating, you can make a simple coffee date more memorable, and potentially romantic. Hot tip for a coffee date: always sit side by side,” he says.
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Another suggestion is to run an errand together, such as shopping for a particular book or cooking item, or checking out a neighbourhood where you’re thinking of renting a flat.
“When I was a bachelor, I had some great dates just walking around a department store… and have had more than one first kiss on the escalator in such a situation.”
How to budget your dates – and have the money conversation
It’s worth considering how you will budget for dating.
Financial wellness expert Louise Bastock says you should always be prepared to split the bill unless you’ve discussed beforehand.
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She suggests setting a limit of one or two drinks over a couple of hours for a first date, and not overspending while you’re still getting to know someone.
“Using banking features like spare change round-ups (which get moved into a separate savings space when you spend) to budget for your dates can be a great way to put some money aside without making it feel like a huge commitment,” she adds.
When it comes to discussing money with your date, she says it’s worth knowing how you feel most comfortable communicating about it.
“Have a chat over message before you meet or have a quick chat in person before anyone parts with any cash,” she says.
Satellite imagery from June of what appears to be floating cranes at a shipyard near Wuhan where the Chinese Zhou-class submarine sank earlier this yearCredit: Planet Labs
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The same site picturd a month earlierCredit: Planet Labs
Chinese authorities were reportedly left scrambling to try and conceal the military disaster to hide one of their newest weapons programs from foreign officials.
The vessel was part of Beijing’s big arsenal of nuclear attack submarines with state-of-the-art technology.
But the sinking corpse of the sub was reportedly uncovered by US officials through satellite imagery which showed it being sneakily salvaged from a shipyard near Wuhan in early June.
Large floating cranes were seen on satellite images arriving in Wuhan back in June, sparking fears as to why the unusual cranes were patrolling the pier where naval activity is known to take place.
Neither China’s People’s Liberation Army (PLA), nor the Communist Party of China (CCP) have acknowledged the humiliating blunder that took place last May or June.
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A Chinese embassy spokesperson in Washington told Reuters: “We are not familiar with the situation you mentioned and currently have no information to provide.”
Ashok Swain, a professor of peace and security expert at the University of Uppsala, said there could have been a nuclear leakage at the time of the attack – and China not accepting the blunder is a “real problem”.
While many officials in the West are still unsure if the submarine was carrying nuclear fuel on board at the time it sank, several experts outside of the Pentagon have speculated that it more than likely was.
They are also yet to rule out the possibility that military personnel or those working on the sub were killed or injured when it sank.
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And Mr Ashok said that China not revealing the toxic water reports is a “matter of international concern”.
A look at China’s menacing nuclear-armed humpback submarine that has SURFACED near Taiwan
He told The Sun: “This sort of thing is not just an ordinary accident. It involves nuclear submarines. When these accidents take place in the water particularly, it can potentially affect a larger community.
“If there is a leak, we will see the radiation moving to the other parts fo the word througn mvoing waters.
“It is a matter of international concern. If there truly was some kind of leakage, then we have long-term threats.”
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Mr Ashok Swain also that said China’s rush to win the arms race could have caused other blunders, but the unaccountable regime under President Xi Jinping makes it difficult to find out the truth.
He added: “There could be more Chinese military accidents that we are not aware of.
“When you are in a rush to develop modern milliatry technolgy without any public accountability or media accountability, you continue to make this kind of mistakes.
“We don’t know exactly what happens unless there is an independent investigation [in the west] we do with the satellite images.
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“We only know [secondary information] that comes out late. And by that time a lot of things could be [covered up].”
HUMILIATING SETBACK
The expert also said that sinking of its newest submarine may have caused China a setback from a milliatry perpective – besides the worldwide humilation the blunder has caused.
But it wont deter the PLA from developing more such technologies, he warned.
Brent Sadler, a retired US Navy nuclear submarine officer, said the major error in letting it sink has slowed down Chinese military efforts in the months since.
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Sadler, now a a senior research fellow at Washington think tank Heritage Foundation, called it a “significant” moment.
A senior US defence official explained: “It’s not surprising that the PLA Navy would try to conceal the fact that their new first-in-class nuclear-powered attack submarine sank pierside.
“In addition to the obvious questions about training standards and equipment quality, the incident raises deeper questions about the PLA’s internal accountability and oversight of China’s defense industry, which has long been plagued by corruption.”
The Zhou-class model that sank is the latest in a fresh set of Chinese nuclear-powered submarines.
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Thomas Shugart, a former US submarine officer, was one of the first to speak about the sub disaster after analysing the satellite images.
He said that despite the Zhou-class vessel being rescued from the depths it will be out of action for some months to come.
Shugart said: “The whole boat would be full of water.
“You’d have to clean out all the electronics. The electric motors may need to be replaced. It would be a lot of work.”
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“You’d have to clean out all the electronics. The electric motors may need to be replaced. It would be a lot of work.”
It comes less than a year after a similar sub blunder took place in China.
Tragedy struck in October 2023 when 55 Chinese sailors were feared to have died after their nuclear submarine reportedly got stuck in its own trap and they ran out of oxygen.
The sub was snared by it’s own chain and anchor device meant to catch Western vessels lurking off China’s coast, according to UK intelligence.
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The crew are said to have suffocated to death onboard after the 351ft Shang class type-093 sub’s oxygen systems failed.
Despite the rumours Beijing said that news of the sub’s destruction was “completely false”.
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A type 094 Jin-class nuclear submarine used by the Chinese People’s Liberation Army Navy as they look to bolster up their fleetCredit: Getty – Contributor
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A PLA soldier during a military exerciseCredit: AP
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China has the world’s biggest army – with over two million active personnel
A SMALL island in Somerset is often described as secret because of its isolated location.
Steep Holm in the Bristol Channel, five miles offshore from popular seaside town Weston-super-Mare, is often unheard of because of its remote setting and being difficult to reach.
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Steep Holm is in the Bristol Channel and is often unheard of because of its remote locationCredit: Alamy
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Rare plants and wildlife call Steep Holm home with herring gulls and lesser black-backed gulls seen nestingCredit: Alamy
The island is run by Kenneth Allsop Memorial Trust, and except for wardens who help maintain it, it’s uninhabited.
Strong tidal currents also make the island a difficult place to land.
But during certain times of year, organised trips by Bay Island Voyages allow visitors to discover what Steep Holm has to offer.
Trips are run on certain days of the year from the end of March through to October.
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Because Steep Holm is only accessible at high tide, day trips there last 12 hours.
As a protected nature reserve and Site of Special Scientific Interest (SSSI), the island is a haven for rare plants and wildlife.
Steep Holm is the only place in the UK where wild peonies grow, and the island is home to rare plants like Alexanders, golden samphire, and wild leeks.
European herring gulls and lesser black-backed gulls can often be seen nesting, and a small population of muntjac deer have also been spotted.
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The island also has a rich history, with evidence of occupation dating back to prehistoric times.
The Romans built a signal station on the island, and it was fortified in the 1860s as part of the Palmerston Forts – constructed to encircle Plymouth and to protect the Royal Dockyard against a landing by the French.
Isolated island where humans are BANNED – but is home to thousands of inbreeding snakes with flesh-eating venom
There are also Victorian military installations, including underground ammunition stores
On a clear day, visitors can enjoy excellent 360 degree views of the Bristol Channel and the Somerset and Welsh coastlines.
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As far as facilities go, The Visitor Centre housed in the Victorian barracks is visitors’ base for the day.
Items you don’t need to explore the island can be safely left there.
There’s also hot and cold drinks, home-made cakes, confectionery and crisps available there, as well as a selection of beers, wines and cider at the licensed bar.
Toilets have water provided by the underground reservoir, but as the water is pumped by a generator, it’s not suitable for drinking.
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Fresh water is brought to the island for drinking from the barracks cafe, otherwise visitors need to bring their own water flask.
Sailings to Steep Holm can be cancelled at short notice because of the weather, even if it’s a nice day on the mainland, so back up plans are advised.
The cost per person to visit is £47.70.
Other secret islands in the UK
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Northey Island – A remote island in Essex that’s owned by the National Trust and considered to be “the closest you’ll get to true wilderness in Essex”. Visitors need to arrange a permit and can’t cross over to the island at high tide.
Foulness Island – A secretive island that’s used by the Ministry of Defence for weapons testing. The only way for the public to reach the island is via the Broomway.
Lundy – A secluded island in Devon that dates back to the Neolithic period. In 1160, King Henry II granted the land to the Knights Templar.
Holy Island – Also known as Lindisfarne, this island is home to Lindisfarne Castle and Lindisfarne Priory, which was once a centre of early Christianity in Anglo-Saxon England.
Roula Khalaf, Editor of the FT, selects her favourite stories in this weekly newsletter.
Belgian prime minister Alexander De Croo has castigated Pope Francis over the “painful wounds” left by past sex abuse cases in Belgium that were covered up by the Catholic church.
De Croo said on Friday as he received the Pope in Brussels that the church had “its place in our history and customs”, but added that “we cannot ignore the painful wounds that exist within the Catholic faith community and wider society”.
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“The many cases of sexual abuse and forced adoptions have severely damaged trust. You are committed to justice. But there is still a long way to go.”
The speech was one of the most direct public condemnations of the Catholic Church’s evasion over sex abuse scandals during a papal visit.
Details of long-running abuse in the Belgian Catholic Church, including by the country’s longest-serving bishop Roger Vangheluwe, have slowly emerged over the past quarter century.
Vangheluwe, the bishop of Bruges between 1984 and 2010, resigned following sexual abuse allegations he partly admitted to. He said in a later interview that he did not believe it was abuse. He was stripped of his clerical status this year and now lives in seclusion in an abbey in the Loire.
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The scandals were documented in a four-part series called Godvergeten, which translates as Godforsaken, on Belgian broadcaster VRT last year. They have caused a drop in church attendance among Belgian Catholics, with some renouncing their baptism and ties with the church.
De Croo’s remarks, made at a welcome reception for Pope Francis at the Belgian royal palace of Laeken, were echoed by Belgian King Philippe, who said: “It has taken far too long for [the victims’] cries to be heard and acknowledged. It has taken far too long to begin looking for ways to ‘repair’ the irreparable.”
Acknowledging the comments of the two Belgian leaders, the Pope said the church was acting “firmly and decisively”, introducing prevention programmes and counselling victims in the aftermath of the abuse.
He also departed from his written speech to add that the church “must be ashamed” and “ask for forgiveness”.
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The pope, who also visited Luxembourg this week, was due to meet 15 victims of the Belgian sexual abuse scandals on Friday afternoon.
“We are co-operating fully. What the prime minister says is also of our concern,” said Geert De Kerpel, spokesperson for Belgian archbishop Luc Terlinden. “It’s never enough, but we do all we can.”
“The Belgian church is a church that fights strongly against this abuse,” he added. “There is not place for sexual abuse in the church.”
Money Marketing’s Weekly Must-Reads: Top 10 Stories
Stay informed with our curated list of this week’s top 10 financial news stories, including Scottish Widows’ senior investment team appointments and a protest by victims outside the FCA headquarters.
Scottish Widows has announced four senior appointments to its investment leadership team. Matt Brennan will join in November as head of asset allocation and research, while Heather Coulson, Mithesh Varsani and Mark Gillan will take on key roles in January 2025.
Coulson will lead implementation and portfolio management, Varsani will head investment solutionsvand Gillan will oversee operations.
Scottish Widows’ chief investment officer, Kevin Doran, highlighted the appointments as crucial for enhancing their ability to manage over £200bn in customer assets.
Victims of financial misconduct and regulatory failures staged a protest on 26 September outside the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) headquarters in London.
Organised by the Transparency Task Force, the “Rally for Better Financial Regulation” highlighted concerns about the FCA’s lack of accountability and transparency. Protesters called for reforms, including improved governance, a civil duty of care and the right to compensation for regulatory failures.
The rally coincided with the FCA’s Annual Public Meeting, where the regulator faced criticism over unresolved financial scandals.
The FCA cleared its chair, Ashley Alder, of whistleblowing misconduct following an internal review.
Alder had faced criticism for revealing a whistleblower’s identity in emails to colleagues, breaching FCA policy. The whistleblower expressed outrage, calling it an “institutional betrayal.” The review, led by FCA director Richard Lloyd, acknowledged Alder did not fully follow protocol but acted reasonably by consulting senior staff.
Alder welcomed the findings, stating he aimed to address complex concerns raised by former employees appropriately.
The number of pension plans accessed for the first time surged by 19.7% in 2023/24, reaching 885,455, according to FCA data.
However, only 30% of these were accessed with regulated advice, down from 32.9% the previous year. This decline raises concerns about people managing pension withdrawals without professional guidance, potentially affecting their long-term financial stability. Economic pressures, including the cost-of-living crisis, are driving more people to access their pensions.
The FCA and government aim to improve the pensions system through ongoing reviews and reforms.
Premier Miton has appointed Nicola Stronach as its new chief operating officer (COO). Stronach will oversee risk, operations, compliance, legal teams and regulatory relations.
She brings over 25 years of experience, having previously worked at Quilter, Credit Suisse, Old Mutual Global Investors and BNY Mellon. Stronach will play a key role in Premier Miton’s strategic direction, supporting UK distribution and international growth.
Premier Miton CEO Mike O’Shea praised her expertise, while Stronach expressed excitement about joining the firm during this pivotal period of expansion.
In 2024, annuity demand hit record highs, with iPipeline reporting a 12% rise in annuity quotes during the first half of the year compared to 2023.
This follows a 60% year-on-year increase in 2023, with iPipeline’s platform now handling 25% of UK retirement market quotes. The surge reflects the growing importance of annuities in retirement planning, particularly amid higher interest rates.
Experts predict continued growth, especially for retirees seeking secure income, though interest-rate fluctuations and market volatility may affect future demand.
Labour’s potential removal of inheritance tax (IHT) relief on AIM shares could raise £1.1bn this year, but it risks harming UK small and medium-sized companies that drive growth and innovation.
AIM has contributed over £135bn to the UK economy in 29 years, with notable companies like Jet2 and YouGov starting there. Removing IHT benefits may lead to declining share prices, hurting businesses and investors.
While AIM remains a strong long-term investment, careful planning is needed to mitigate potential tax impacts.
Research by the Chartered Insurance Institute (CII) reveals many firms need help identifying vulnerable customers and complying with the FCA’s Consumer Duty reporting requirements.
The study, conducted with FWD Research, found that firms seek more guidance on vulnerability and reporting processes. The CII’s white paper offers recommendations, including integrating data into service improvements, fostering leadership interest in customer needs and enhancing understanding of vulnerability.
The CII aims to support firms in meeting regulatory standards and improving customer care.
The FCA is actively investigating ongoing advice services in financial firms. In February, the regulator contacted 20 major firms to express concerns over clients being charged for services after advice is provided.
FCA executive director Sarah Pritchard indicated that follow-up work is ongoing, but a timeline for conclusions remains unclear. Both St James’s Place and Quilter have reported setting aside funds for potential client refunds and remedial costs linked to these ongoing service evaluations.
The FCA will communicate its expectations once the review is complete.
Transact has become the first intermediary platform to implement an electronic Cash ISA transfer service through Pay.UK (BACS) and Equisoft, streamlining the transfer process.
This new service allows for seamless communication between Transact, banks and building societies, eliminating the need for paper transfers and reducing average transfer times from 42 days to just nine. With 72 banks and building societies adopting this service, it is expected to significantly enhance efficiency.
Transact aims to improve transfers further as investments in Cash ISAs surged by 50% last tax year.
The vehicle now on auction—car number 0001—is listed on a Dutch auction site, with bids currently around 17,000 euros (approximately $18,967).
That’s a huge drop from the car’s initial price tag.
However, there’s a catch: the car is neither type-approved nor equipped with number plates, meaning it’s not road-legal.
The auction ends on Monday, September 30, leaving potential buyers with just a few days to snag this unique vehicle. But with Lightyear going bankrupt in early 2023, buyers will need to consider that no company support is available.
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Lightyear had garnered a lot of attention in the automotive world with its bold promises of solar-powered cars. Just two weeks before their bankruptcy, the company unveiled a cheaper alternative, the ‘Lightyear 2,’ at CES in Las Vegas. Sadly, the company never managed to get their vehicles into full production.
The Lightyear Zero—previously called One during development—was powered by a 170-horsepower electric motor. Theoretically, it could go from 0 to 100 km/h in 10 seconds and reach a top speed of 160 km/h, though its true performance remains untested in the real world.
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