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Imagine turning a weird and admittedly somewhat dated joke into an inarguable declaration that you don’t have your priorities straight, and also that you’re using up valuable oxygen meant for the rest of us. Take a deep bow, John Rustad—who readers may or may not know as the leader of the BC Conservative Party.
This weekend, the BC NDP sent out a fake news release with Rustad as the main focus. And by “fake news,” we’re talking actual fake news—not the stuff that Rustad calls fake news every time someone brings up climate change.
The release revolved around one of the most puzzlingly grotesque concoctions in the long and artery-clogging history of fast food: the McDonald’s McRib. The fake news part was that Rustad is promising to bring the “sandwich” back if elected premier of the province.
Sent out into the world on what looked like official, BC Conservative Party letterhead, the release started with a quote attributed to the man who looks like the kind of high school math teacher who’s delighted every time someone fails one of his tests. It read:
“Under David Eby, British Columbians have not had regular access to the delicious McRib sandwich. He admits the provincial government has no jurisdiction over the McDonald’s corporation, but this failure is Eby’s alone. Some people say the Premier of BC has no power to change the McDonald’s menu, but just watch me.” — John Rustad, Leader of the Conservative Party of British Columbia
Here’s the full missive, which an NDP staffer told Canadian Press was meant as “a joke to make fun of John Rustad repeatedly announcing things he cannot do, with no plan and no opportunity for media to ask questions.”
Of all the things that the NDP might have made fun of Rustad for—the promise of coal-powered bicycles, free bleach-injections for Covid season, and the weird belief that 5G technology will one day kill us all—it instead chose the McRib. Not only that, it couldn’t get its facts straight: despite contending that the “sandwich” hasn’t been a thing in these parts since Daniel and Henrik Sedin were the hottest Swedish twins in Vancouver, it was actually being served at McDonald’s restaurants earlier this year.
Faced with countless options for a snappy retort, Rustad instead went the truly, unfathomably twisted route.
On the weekend, he took the NDP bait and offered this response on X:
https://twitter.com/JohnRustad4BC/status/1845608406310441403
Dude—no one with the possible exception of Peter Griffin wants a world where the McRib is once again a thing. And yet Rustad seems to be of the opinion that, while the last thing British Columbians want back is David Eby, they for some reason can’t wait to get their hands on the creation that’s been described as “a restructured boneless pork patty shaped like a miniature rack of ribs” that starts with “pork made from small flakes of meat taken from the shoulders of a pig.”
Remember to vote on October 19 (or in advance until October 16). And, just importantly—never mind issues like climate change and vaccines—ask yourself what kind of man wants a world where you don’t have to go to Luxembourg or Germany to get your hands on a McRib at a Rotten Ronnie’s.
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