Following Vancouver snowfall warning for Wednesday, the City promises this time won’t be a full-blown shitshow

In what will be seen as excellent news for everyone who watched a normal 30-minute commute from Commercial Drive to Burquitlam turn into a harrowing four-hour odyssey last Thursday, the City of Vancouver is promising that this Wednesday’s expected snowfall is going to be different.

When the flakes began flying last week, Metro Vancouver was once again caught completely unprepared, even though everyone from AccuWeather to the Farmer’s Almanac to your grandfather’s arthritic knee was predicting snow. Unsalted and unplowed roads quickly turned into impromptu skating rinks leading to all-too-familiar chaos across the region. There’s a reason the rest of Canada laughs at us, and it starts with scenes like the ones you’ll see here.

As the cold weather continues on the West Coast, the forecast is once again for snow this week, starting this Wednesday. Evidently determined to get out front of things this time, the City of Vancouver has announced that it’s currently “busy preparing roads and planning for a full-scale response.” Which, of course, makes one wonder what crews were doing last Thursday. Playing pinochle at the city works yard? Watching 30 Days of Night for the 27th time? Swapping stories about the Donner Party?

Today’s full statement reads:

Forecasts are calling for up to 20 centimetres of snow on Wednesday and the City is urging residents to stick to essential travel only and reminding the public that supports are in place to stay safe during extreme cold.

Currently our crews are out pre-treating all priority routes as per the City’s winter maintenance plan. Priority routes include major roads, bus routes, bridges within City limits, and main streets adjacent to major hospitals. We also treat our four major pedestrian pathways (Arbutus Greenway, Central Valley Greenway, False Creek Seawall, and Coal Harbour Seawall) and the 16 most-used bike routes.

In a warning that you probably don’t want to be driving, biking, or rollerblading down Fairview streets like Spruce and Alder towards West 6th Avenue, the City continued with: “Crews prioritize treatment of pedestrian pathways before adjacent bikeways. Residential side streets are not included as part of the City’s treatment plans, with the exception of priority hills and access routes to hospitals and schools.”

For those who plan to do the sensible thing and stay home for a week or two with a goodie bag of Jublee Apple and Match fruit edibles, a candy bowl of Ground Sounds’ Stevie’s Wonder psilocybin capsules, and seasons one through six of Fargo, there are some ground rules to follow. Vancouver residents are reminded that they are to remove snow and ice from sidewalks adjacent to private property by 10am the morning after a snowfall, with failure to do so leading to possible fines of $250 to $750 per offense.

The City is also announcing Warming Centres and Extreme Weather Response shelters for those who are homeless. Go here for full details. 

Good luck. Because if every snowfall in Vancouver—including last Thursday’s shitshow—has taught us anything, it’s that you’re going to need it.