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Aberdeen: a city destroyed by Ed Miliband

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Aberdeen: a city destroyed by Ed Miliband

Aberdeen is facing a cliff edge. The UK’s current energy policy is badly hurting the city – a place that relies on the energy sector to a huge degree.

It isn’t just oil and gas jobs that are at stake, but employment across all areas of the local economy in the north-east of Scotland. A scenario put out by the Robert Gordon University’s Energy Transition Institute envisaged job losses from the North Sea oil and gas workforce of 400 people every fortnight, between now and the end of the decade. And that’s just the job losses in the energy sector. The true number of the newly unemployed could be much higher. Particularly in a city like Aberdeen.

I discovered all this while researching a paper for the Jobs Foundation, culminating in a report called ‘Cliff Edge: Jobs in Aberdeen, the Epicentre of the UK’s Energy Transition’. The desk research was mind-boggling enough, but my eyes were truly opened by all the people I spoke to in Aberdeen.

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Bob Keiller CBE is a well-known figure in the city. He was CEO of Wood Group, a multinational oil-and-gas-services company headquartered in Aberdeen. After leaving Wood, Bob founded Our Union Street – a non-profit organisation that seeks to help the local business community. He is outspoken about the areas where things have gone wrong for the city.

‘If you compare and contrast what is going on now with the upside of having a vibrant oil and gas sector in the city, you can quickly see that oil and gas had a positive impact on almost every supply sector. Whether it’s retail, whether it’s selling cars, whether it’s selling houses, whether it’s filling places in schools, whether it’s charitable donations, all of those things have come from having a vibrant oil and gas sector where you’ve got lots of high quality, highly paid jobs.’

Bob is quietly hopeful about the transition to renewables, as many in Aberdeen are. Yet, like most of his community, he is also realistic. ‘Just hoping that it will happen, and it will magically transform from a caterpillar into a butterfly because it happens to be here, I think is wishful thinking.’

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The UK’s Labour government is taking a huge gamble with people’s lives in Aberdeen. Right now, there is a systemic wind-down of domestic oil and gas production, which is predicated on the idea that the renewables sector will magically flourish as a result.

It is a strategy that is already creating real problems in people’s lives. I spoke with Donna Hutchison, CEO of Aberdeen Cyrenians, which has been helping the city’s homeless and vulnerable for over 50 years.

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‘There’s an uptick in people looking for help, but not yet for those that have lost their jobs. We will see a lag, probably six months… We’d like to avoid it happening, but we know how people see seeking help as a stigma… They won’t until the last second and when they are facing a crisis.’

Donna then laid out a terrifying, possible near future for the city:

‘I think you’ll see a lot of people in what are well-paid jobs – say, £80,000 to £100,000 salaries – put out of work. They would have always picked up another sales job or another marketing and communications job in the past. But now, there aren’t those jobs to pick up. So I think we’re going to have a swathe of people who have maybe never gone through this sort of situation before. People who will have an assumption, “I’m going to get something”.’

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Donna believes a lot of these people will be searching in vain. ‘You will start to see the, “Oh shit, this is not coming, what am I going to do now?”… We will get some of those people through the door next year.’

The saddest part is that the solution to all this is relatively straightforward: end the windfall tax on energy companies and let them drill in the North Sea again. These two changes alone might well alleviate a large chunk of the problem. The companies I spoke to prior to the 2025 Autumn budget were hopeful of getting something on taxation, possibly even something on drilling. In the end, they got nothing.

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Without some drastic change in energy policy soon, Aberdeen could be facing the same fate as so many coal-mining towns did in the last quarter of the 20th century. Joblessness, reliance on benefits over the course of multiple generations, a loss of pride and purpose.

I truly hope this will not end up being Aberdeen’s fate. Looking at the facts, however, I struggle not to fear for the worst.

Nick Tyrone is a journalist, author and think-tanker. His latest novel, The Patient, is out now.

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Iran attacks by US and Israel are colonialism on full display

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Iran attacks by US and Israel are colonialism on full display

The US and Israel are once again showing their true colonialist colours as they launch unprovoked attacks on Iran.

Of course, Trump claims the attacks are due to the US not being happy with Iran’s position on the nuclear weapon negotiations. CNN claims the US and Israel have been planning the operation for months and targeted:

Iran’s supreme leader, president and head of the armed forces.

But already, despite their advanced precision weaponry, Israel has attacked two schools.

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Whether it’s seizing oil, regime changes, or destroying and preventing the use of nuclear weapons, the US and Israel have been singing from the same hymn sheet for 30 years.

Iran and the right to self-defence

The reality? The goal is murdering black and brown people and stealing land. Whether it’s for ‘Greater Israel‘ or for the US’s financial interests, it’s one and the same — murder and control the people in the global majority, and get rich in the process.

What the mainstream media is not telling you is that under international law, Iran has the right to self-defence against unprovoked and illegal attacks.

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Unfortunately, Zarah Sultana is, so far, the only left-wing MP in the UK to have said that publicly.

Jeremy Corbyn stated that the attacks were:

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But he failed to mention that Iran has the right to self-defence.

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As did Zack Polanski, which is disappointing to say the least.

As did many members of the European Parliament.

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When white people are bombed illegally, as we have seen over the last few years in Ukraine, there is an automatic and non-negotiable right to self-defence. No one questions it; the world sends weapons, and random MPs decide to go and fight for the cause.

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So why is this different?

I think we all know the answer to that. It’s because so much of the world still sees black and brown people as less than, and it’s fucked up.

Bombing Iran — including children, is in the typical US and Israeli imperial playbook. We’re once again seeing their pattern of colonial conquest play out in real time. But just like Palestine, Iran has the right to self-defence against these unprovoked and illegal attacks.

Feature image via Al Jazeera English/ YouTube

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Democrats split over response to Trump’s Iran strikes

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Democrats split over response to Trump’s Iran strikes

Democrats of all stripes quickly accused President Donald Trump of starting another prolonged conflict in the Middle East on Saturday and demanded limits to his war powers.

That’s where their agreement ended.

Progressives castigated the president for pursuing “dangerously illegal,” “totally unnecessary” and potentially “catastrophic” military action when diplomacy was still on the table. Some, including Sens. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) and Jeff Merkley (D-Ore.), declared “no war with Iran.”

But several lawmakers from battleground districts adopted a more cautious tone, calling for Trump to justify his actions to Congress but stopping short of demanding an end to the operation.

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And moderate Rep. Josh Gottheimer (D-N.J.) and Sen. John Fetterman (D-Pa.), both staunch supporters of Israel, which aided the U.S. in the strikes, praised Trump for defending national security and being “willing to do what’s right and necessary to produce real peace in the region.” Gottheimer also requested a classified briefing and said he expects Trump to “comply with the War Powers Act.”

The breaks in their responses reveal the underlying divisions that have shadowed the party for two decades, and the challenge Democrats face in presenting a unified foreign policy message ahead of the midterms, where Trump’s aggressive use of the military could become a defining flashpoint.

“There’s always been a peace wing to the Democratic Party and there’s always been a more interventionist wing to the party. That has narrowed over time, but it is still there,” said veteran Democratic strategist Mark Longabaugh.

Democratic lawmakers split over the Iraq vote in 2002, the Yemen war powers vote in 2019 and the first Trump administration’s strike on Iranian commander Qasem Soleimani in 2020.

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Now they will have to navigate yet another politically thorny foreign policy vote — one that is playing out against the backdrop of a yearslong intraparty struggle over Israel as public support for the longtime U.S. ally slides.

Congress is set to vote next week on ending Trump’s military campaign in Iran through a pair of resolutions Democrats are pushing alongside GOP Rep. Thomas Massie (R-Ky.). Fetterman has said he’ll oppose the effort. A spokesperson for Rep. Greg Landsman (D-Ohio) said he would as well. And House Democratic leaders believe moderates in their caucus could join them.

Many Democrats opted for careful messaging as the situation unfolded on Saturday, attempting to strike a balance between the need to crack down on Iran and the desire to denounce Trump’s unilateral action and its potentially deadly consequences.

Democratic congressional leaders Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries both focused on the process Trump should follow: Iran must never obtain a nuclear weapon, they said, but lawmakers need to be briefed and vote on further action.

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Schumer said in a statement he had urged Secretary of State Marco Rubio to “be straight with Congress and the American people about the objectives of these strikes and what comes next,” adding that the Senate “should return to session to pass a war powers resolution.”

Jeffries similarly pressed for classified briefings and a vote.

“Iran is a bad actor and must be aggressively confronted for its human rights violations, nuclear ambitions, support of terrorism and the threat it poses to our allies like Israel and Jordan in the region,” Jeffries said in a statement. But, he added, “The Trump administration must explain itself to the American people and Congress immediately, provide an ironclad justification for this act of war, clearly define the national security objective and articulate a plan to avoid another costly, prolonged military quagmire in the Middle East.”

Neither leader is expected to break ranks with the majority of their fellow Democrats, who plan to vote to bar Trump from taking further military action against Iran without congressional approval.

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Still other members, including lawmakers in battleground districts or with military and national security backgrounds, stopped short of explicitly calling for the operation to end.

Sen. Elissa Slotkin (D-Mich.) slammed Trump on X for not providing justification for “committing our nation to war” and said Congress “should come back to Washington to debate these issues.” Rep. Henry Cuellar (D-Texas) said the administration “must immediately brief the full Congress and clearly explain the scope, strategy, and expected duration of this operation.”

Rep. Tom Suozzi, a swing-seat New York Democrat, even appeared to defend Trump, saying the president briefed appropriate leadership ahead of the attack — though he still called for Trump to seek congressional authorization going forward.

“I agree with the President’s objectives that Iran can never be allowed to obtain nuclear capabilities,” Suozzi wrote on X. “The President must now clearly define the national security objective and articulate his plan to avoid another costly, prolonged war in the Middle East.”

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But progressives — including possible 2028 contenders Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) and Sen. Chris Murphy (D-Conn.) — were adamant about drawing a red line, saying that Trump was steering the U.S. toward another “disaster” in the region.

They found a surprising ally in former Vice President Kamala Harris.

“I am opposed to a regime-change war in Iran,” Harris said in a statement. “I know the threat that Iran poses, and they must never be allowed to have a nuclear weapon, but this is not the way to dismantle that threat.”

Where Democrats did find more uniformity on Saturday was in their attempts to turn Trump’s strike on Iran into a campaign cudgel, accusing the president of again violating his “America First” doctrine and breaking the compact he made with voters to end “endless wars.” Some began circulating Trump allies’ past comments denouncing the notion of war with Iran and other prolonged conflicts in the Middle East.

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Sen. Ruben Gallego (D-Ariz.) relayed the party’s message bluntly, rejecting the war in Iran as “wrong.”

“Trump ran on exposing the pedophiles and stopping wars,” he wrote on X. “Trump is now protecting pedophiles and starting wars.”

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Iran defends itself via closing key shipping strait

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Iran defends itself via closing key shipping strait

Iran responded this morning to the illegal US-Israel attacks on its facilities and attempts to assassinate its leadership with missile and drone attacks on Israel and on US bases in the region. Tonight, it has announced the closure of the Strait of Hormuz, which runs along a large part of its coastline, to all shipping.

The territorial greed of the US and Israel – and the desire of Donald Trump for a distraction from his Epstein crimes – has put the world on the edge of a global financial meltdown, as well as of outright war.

During the ’12-day war’ of 2025, which saw Iranian retaliation pummel Israel and force back US naval vessels, Iran’s parliament approved the closure of the Strait. It didn’t have to implement it fully – Israel and the US quickly backed down.

Iran’s ability to close the Strait, through which a third of global gas and a quarter of global oil consumption passes, is widely acknowledged. A prolonged closure will mean economic catastrophe impacting billions. All for the sake of a war criminal’s ambitions and an old pervert’s desire to avoid humiliation until he dies.

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Featured image via the Canary

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Israel closes all access into Gaza

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Israel closes all access into Gaza

Israel has shut down all crossings into and out of Gaza, even for humanitarian workers.

The occupation’s administrative body COGAT claimed the move was a “necessary security adjustment” because of Israel’s attacks on Iran. The blockade will prevent volunteer medics and other humanitarian workers either entering or leaving Gaza while it remains in place. Food and medicine deliveries, already barely a trickle, will be choked off – condemning thousands more Palestinians in Gaza to misery, suffering and death.

The unprovoked Israel-US attacks on Iran are a war crime. The intensified starvation of the people of Gaza is a crime against humanity and a continuation of genocide. While Israel murders in Iran and puts the world in danger, it continues to use disease and famine, as well as bullets, to murder in Gaza.

Featured image via the Canary

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Zia Yusuf is being a dickhead again

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Zia Yusuf is being a dickhead again

Zia Yusuf came out as a fucking dickhead on the day of the Gorton and Denton by-election.

After Matt Goodwin and Nigel Farage kicked off about ‘family voting’, Zia seemed to get his wires crossed.

Family voting is when a family member appears to be influencing someone else’s vote, for example, by entering the polling booth with them. The government made it illegal under the Ballot Secrecy Act in 2023.

So was Yusuf endorsing family voting? Or is he just a bit dense? Anyway, he deleted the post, but not before the internet took screenshots.

Remember when we had the choice of chaos with Ed Miliband? Imagine the sheer chaos if voters elected this clown to government.

On that note, is Matt Goodwin now the shadow MP for Gorton and Denton? Will he still be fighting for the best interests of locals?

Please, he wouldn’t have done that even if he were elected. Who am I kidding?

Featured image via Times News/YouTube

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Mark Carney shows he’s an imperialist at heart

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Mark Carney shows he's an imperialist at heart

Mark Carney, prime minister of Canada, has put out a bullshit statement in support of the US and Israel’s strikes on Iran.

Of course, he completely fails to mention the illegality of the unprovoked strikes. Instead, he spouts bullshit about Iran’s instability and ‘terror’. More like, he’s a racist muppet who disapproves of black and brown people having free will and being able to live their lives away from imperialist control.

Carney is a liberal through and through

Canada’s position remains clear: the Islamic Republic of Iran is the principal source of instability and terror throughout the Middle East, has one of the world’s worst human rights records, and must never be allowed to obtain or develop nuclear weapons.

What he also failed to mention was that Iran was attending peace talks. Additionally, Netanyahu has been claiming Iran is ‘days away‘ from nuclear capabilities for over 30 years.

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Meanwhile, Israel DOES have nuclear weapons and hasn’t signed up to the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT). Israel is the only one that’s been breaking international law and invading multiple countries, all at the same time.

Plus, Carney’s idea of ‘Iran-related hostilities’ is simply the US and Israel’s bullshit, imperialist aggression against Iran.

‘Imperialist running dog’

It seems like only yesterday the Canadian PM told the US to suck it. In fact, it kind of was – he gave a surprisingly blistering speech in Davos at the end of January.

During his speech, he called the old “rules-based” order an illusion.

Then, he made a completely unexpected set of remarks. He described the idea that Canada’s ties with the US bring “mutual benefit” as a “lie”.

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As the Canary previously reported:

Carney’s remarks came as EU nations started to move troops into Greenland for ‘exercises’ that were really preparations to fight a US invasion. But Canada’s military was also doing the same – Trump has frequently expressed his lust to make Canada a 51st US state, according to Canadian Daily the Globe and Mail.

Of course, Carney is only against the US’s imperialism when it isn’t working in his favour.

In one powerful moment, he noted how:

there is a strong tendency for countries to go along to get along, to accommodate, to avoid trouble, to hope that compliance will buy safety.

Of course, fighting against the economics of the US’s imperialism only goes so far for a spineless liberal. After all, he was governor of the Bank of Canada and the Bank of England, after spending 13 years at Goldman Sachs.

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The rich for the rich, and all that.

Carney has now made it abundantly clear that he was only referring to rich, white nations. Obviously, he only meant Canada and Greenland when he stood up to Trump:

A settler colonial conquest

Of course, the statement is about what you’d expect from another settler colonial nation, which is dripping in its own genocidal history. Its complicity with Israel’s genocide undoubtedly does a lot of the heavy lifting with that crappy IsRaEL HaS ThE rIGhT tO DEfeND ITseLF bullshit.

Like the UK, the US, and several other European Zionist muppets, Canada has also been supplying arms, cutting funds to UNRWA, and laying cover for Israel. The Canadian government even grants tax relief to donors funding a notorious Zionist propaganda organisation: NGO Monitor.

But why are we surprised? Carney stood idly by whilst Israel committed genocide for two and a half years, the US kidnapped Venezuela’s president, and he said fuck all about Cuba for weeks. It’s perfectly in tune with his morals that only appear when rich white people might get their feelings hurt.

Featured image via HG

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Brit Awards 2026: What Did Jack Whitehall Actually Say During His Censored Political Joke?

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Brit Awards 2026: What Did Jack Whitehall Actually Say During His Censored Political Joke?

Brit Awards viewers were left scratching their heads on Saturday night, when the sound suddenly cut out just as Jack Whitehall was delivering a joke.

Early on in the ceremony, Jack was seen mingling in the Brits audience at Manchester’s Co-Op Live arena, at which point he spotted the city’s mayor, Andy Burnham at one table.

“This is the only party he’s allowed into these days,” he quipped, in a nod to the recent drama surrounding the Gorton and Denton by-election, before he noticed that Labour MP and culture secretary Lisa Nandy was on the same table.

Jack then joked that “this must be the politicians’ table” before pondering: “I wonder who else is here…”

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However, at this point, ITV cut the sound from the broadcast, meaning viewers didn’t get to hear the rest of his comment.

Viewers in the audience have posted on X that Jack’s joke continued: “I think I saw Peter Mandelson on the list. Oh wait, that was another list…”

The censored joke was saying about how Peter Mandelson was on a list

“Peter Mandelson is on the lis- sorry that’s another list” #BRITs

— Josh (@JoshxReid) February 28, 2026

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“Look at all these politicians! I think i saw Peter Mandelson on the list. Oh wait!
Wrong list”

— andrew drinks. (@andrew_drinks) February 28, 2026

apparently from my mate who’s there: look at all these politicians! i think i saw peter mandelson on the list. oh wait wrongl list

— ali 🌙 (@Alialhashimi139) February 28, 2026

“This must be the politician’s table, I wonder who else is here. I think I saw Peter Mandelson on the list- oh wait sorry that was another list”

— Jack Whitehall during the #BRITs pic.twitter.com/4MgKCnAgPW

— Pop Base (@PopBase) February 28, 2026

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Jack was referencing the former Labour minister’s recent arrest on suspicion of misconduct in public office, following accusations of passing on market sensitive information to paedophile financier Jeffrey Epstein when he was business secretary.

Mandelson has denied any wrongdoing.

This year’s Brit Awards saw several moments being censored during the live broadcast.

Shortly after Jack’s remark about Peter Mandelson, the sound was dipped when social media personality Angry Ginge jokingly referred to London as a “shit hole”, and US band Geese were censored after musician Max Bassin declared “free Palestine” and “fuck ICE” during his International Group Of The Year acceptance speech.

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Towards the beginning of the ceremony, Jack also took a shot at the BBC amid the ongoing scrutiny the national broadcaster is facing in light of the controversy surrounding its coverage of this year’s Baftas ceremony.

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Iran closes Strait of Hormuz in serious blow to US

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Iran closes Strait of Hormuz in serious blow to US

After US and Israel commenced unprovoked strikes on Iran — launched in the middle of what Washington described as “positive negotiations” — the an all-out war has exploded. The strikes across Iran targeted many residential neighbourhoods. An all-female school was hit, killing at least 85. A sports centre was struck, killing at least 20 volleyball players.

Iran responded by pounding Israeli positions and targeting US-linked military assets in Qatar, Bahrain, the UAE, Kuwait — and reportedly beyond.

And now, Tehran has moved to close the Strait of Hormuz.

This did not happen during last year’s 12-day war. Despite enduring heavy blows, Iran fell short of targeting the artery through which roughly a fifth of the world’s oil flows. This time, it didn’t shy away.

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The Strait of Hormuz is the narrow maritime passage through which Gulf oil reaches global markets. It is also one of the most militarised waterways on the planet, with the US Navy stationed primarily in Bahrain and along the western shore. The Iranian navy are stationed on the other side.

US empire runs on oil, and oil runs through Hormuz

To be clear: Iran is not a romantic anti-colonial liberation movement. It is a state actor pursuing its own survival and leverage. But structurally, this move exposes something the empire prefers to keep invisible — its prosperity always depends on compliance from the Global South.

The last time Hormuz was seriously threatened was during the “Tanker War” phase of the Iran-Iraq war in the 1980s, when shipping was attacked by both sides but the strait was never fully shut. In 2011–2012, Tehran threatened closure in response to sanctions. In 2019, it seized tankers amid rising tensions after the US withdrew from the nuclear deal. But it never fully closed the strait.

Even during last year’s short but intense 12 day war, Hormuz remained open. This time appears to be different.

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The strait is the most significant oil chokepoint in the world, with around a fifth of global oil output passing through it, and a third of global liquified natural gas.

The economic consequences will be felt immediately, and that is the point. Oil prices will spike. Shipping insurance will surge. Inflation globally will rise. Western consumers will feel it almost instantly.

For the West, war has always been a far away, distant ordeal. Now it will be represented at your local supermarket and petrol station.

That is why this move matters for Iran

More than 2 years of genocide, the disruption in the West was only felt through mass protests on the streets and Palestinian flags hung from windows, and so on. But economic disruption is going to be much harder to ignore.

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Closing Hormuz hurts everyone — including countries in Asia and the Global South that rely on Gulf energy. That’s true. But it is likely going to shorten the lifespan of this war as the cost of war just became much more expensive.

Featured image via Twitter

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Football used to reclaim life by Palestinian player

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Football used to reclaim life by Palestinian player

At the Al-Anan Stadium in Deir al-Balah, the scene of a football player was anything but ordinary. A 43-year-old player ran with steady steps, confidently demanding the ball, his eyes, accustomed to watching the game since childhood, searching for the opponent’s goal. Mustafa Hassouna was returning to his natural place after more than 100 days spent in prison without charge.

His release from prison was not the end of the story, but rather a new beginning. His body emerged burdened, his memory laden with harsh details, but the desire to return to football remained. For him, the game was not a luxury, but an integral part of his identity, one he refused to relinquish.

Football carves space for return

In the Gaza Ramadan Tournament, organized by the Veterans Sports Association and sponsored by the Al-Fares Al-Shahm Association, Hassouna found his first opportunity to regain his rhythm. He donned the “Veterans of Jabalia” jersey and entered the field as if reliving years gone by, not just months of absence.

It was clear that the hiatus had left its mark, but his experience had not failed him. Short passes, intelligent positioning, and a decisive touch inside the penalty area translated into the third goal against Al-Tarabot’s veterans, in a match that ended 3-0. The moment of scoring wasn’t just an addition to the scoreboard, but a profound personal moment; a restoration of confidence and reassurance for a heart that had been captivated by the green pitch.

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The organizing committee chose him as the best player of the match, as if granting him symbolic recognition of his return, not only to the game, but also to the daily life that had been forcibly interrupted.

Sports in the Face of Reality

Hassouna’s story unfolds within a sporting landscape facing unprecedented challenges in Gaza. Stadiums have been damaged, facilities have been rendered unusable, and athletes have found themselves caught between arrest and forced absence from training and competition.

In this climate, football becomes a space for social cohesion and a tool for rebuilding what has been broken. The Ramadan tournament was more than just a sporting event; it was an attempt to keep the flame of sports burning in an environment suffocating with pressure.

Questions of Sports Justice

Amidst this reality, the paradox is stark between the global slogans of sports and the reality experienced by players on the ground. International organizations like FIFA raise the banners of fair play and protecting the game’s values, yet the daily experiences of many athletes in conflict zones raise questions about the effectiveness of these principles when it comes to protecting players and their fundamental rights to practice sports safely.

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How can sport remain a bridge between peoples when a player is deprived of his right to train and compete due to detention? And how can the spirit of the game be preserved if the stadiums themselves are vulnerable to destruction?

After the Goal

When the match ended, the most important thing wasn’t the result, but the feeling Hassouna carried with him as he left the field. He had returned to what he loves, even if only through a local tournament, and even after a painful absence.

He wasn’t looking for the limelight or continental titles, but something simpler: to prove to himself that imprisonment hadn’t extinguished his passion, and that the football he’d loved since childhood could still give him meaning.

Thus, between the starting whistle and the final whistle, Mustafa Hassouna wrote a new chapter in his story; a chapter that says that stadiums, no matter how tight the circumstances, remain a space wider than restrictions

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Featured image via the Canary

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Brit Awards 2026: Host Jack Whitehall Jokes About BBC Baftas Drama

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Brit Awards 2026: Host Jack Whitehall Jokes About BBC Baftas Drama

Brit Awards host Jack Whitehall made it clear early on during this year’s ceremony that he would not be pulling any punches.

As part of his introductory monologue on Saturday night, the comic delivered jibes about several of the A-list nominees, including chart-topper Alex Warren (“what you get if you order Ed Sheeran on Temu”), Mark Ronson (“like if Nick Grimshaw had worked out how to use Garage Band”), Album Of The Year contender Lily Allen (“her album was launched into the charts like a torpedo – only this torpedo didn’t sink a ship, it destroyed a Harbour), performer Robbie Williams (“he’s had more comebacks than his hairline”) and “Songwriter Of The Year… 1996” recipient Noel Gallagher.

Once the pair delivered their rather subdued acceptance speeches, Jack pointed out to viewers that as the night progressed, the ceremony could well get more raucous, meaning “there may be some swearing”.

“But don’t worry, we’ve got the best in the business on the bleep button tonight,” he added. “It’s the guy who did the Baftas. Nothing gets past him.”

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Jack was, of course, referring to the scrutiny the BBC has been under for the last week, after they included an uncensored racist slur in their coverage of this year’s Baftas ceremony, which aired on Sunday night on a two-hour time delay.

The incident occurred when Tourette’s syndrome campaigner John Davidson – attending the ceremony alongside the cast and crew of I Swear, the award-winning film based on his life story – experienced an involuntary tic while Sinners actors Michael B Jordan and Delroy Lindo were presenting on stage, resulting in him shouting the N-word from his seat.

Meanwhile, after Delroy Lindo expressed disappointment at how Bafta handled the incident, the film body issued its own apology, accepting “full responsibility” for what transpired.

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