Early in the morning of Nov. 10, 2017, I got the phone call every parent dreads and none of us are ever prepared for. On that November morning, my oldest daughter, 15-year old Parker Lily, lost the battle with her mental health that we thought she’d been winning. Since that call, my family and I have been trying to rebuild our lives.

For years, I carried around the same tacit misconception many people do about suicide: if someone seems depressed, dejected or hopeless, you don’t say the S-word. You definitely don’t ask if they’re thinking about taking their own life. The worry behind this misconception is simple: you don’t want to put the idea of suicide into their head.

I’m here to tell you, as a father whose life was split into “before” and “after” by that phone call, the opposite is true.

If you take nothing else from what I’m about to say, take this: you will not cause suicide by asking someone directly if they’re thinking about it.

The mental health world has firmly renounced the idea of not asking someone directly. And I’m hoping to get as many people as possible to understand this and to jettison silence. You might be the lifeline they didn’t know they were allowed to grab.

Parker wasn’t a “statistic.” She was my daughter. She was also a force of nature.

Even as a little girl, she was formidable: curious, larger than life and constantly creating. Almost from the time she could walk, teachers were telling us how gifted she was as an artist, how she possessed a level of abstract thinking way beyond her years.

She was a protective, loving big sister to her siblings Rory and Hudson. She was fiercely loyal, cared deeply about her family and friends and had an antipathy for injustice that would light up a room, or a dinner table argument.

She was also very funny. At four, she was already asking big questions like, “Why can’t I eat ice cream for breakfast?” and delivering them with a level of confidence that made you think, “Honestly, why can’t you?”

In later years, you would have seen a bright, artsy teenager who was thriving at her Maryland high school; a place structured specifically for kids battling mental health issues. She made friends, acted in plays, created art and seemed, finally, to be hitting her stride. From the inside, there was a lot more going on.

Parker struggled with her mental health. There were moods we didn’t understand, self-harm, a stay in a psych ward. There were shifts in medications, potential diagnoses (bipolar? borderline personality disorder?) that were terrifying to hear attached to your child. There were stretches when she seemed to be climbing out of it – when we allowed ourselves to think, “She’s winning. We’re over the worst of it.”

We wanted that to be true so badly.

The morning she died, my phone rang with a Maryland number I didn’t recognise. I almost didn’t pick up. But I did pick up, and I heard an officer tell me Parker had taken her own life. Her roommate had found her. The police hadn’t been able to reach her mother, Deb, my ex-wife. I heard a voice come out of my mouth that said: “I’ll tell Deb.”

My brain split. Part of me was insistent that this had to be a mistake, a sick joke. The other part was already running toward the house where Deb and the kids were sleeping, knowing I had to wake them up and say the words out loud.

On my way there, I found myself standing on a corner, outside of myself, waiting for a traffic light to change. The bus stop, the police precinct, the blue sky: None of it made sense. Parker was gone. There was no right side up.

Then something overwhelmed me, rushing past the horror. It was the first of many to follow. It was a wave of grief. Grief that manifested itself as pure love.

I’m not ascribing any mystical significance to the experience. I was reacting to massive trauma. Adrenaline, flooding brain chemicals, my emotions, my memories, all working together to keep me from completely losing my grip. That’s a perfectly reasonable explanation.

But in that moment, Parker came to me – from my heart, my mind, my soul – and gave me the courage to go to her mother, to her siblings, and tell them that she was gone.

That was the beginning of “After.”

In the months after Parker’s death, I started going to support groups for people left behind after suicide. I walked into those rooms feeling that my story was unique, my pain singular. I walked out realising that suicide is heartbreakingly common, and that most people don’t talk about it.

I heard story after story, each different in details but similar in impact: the shock, the guilt, the endless replaying of “What did I miss?” and “Why didn’t I…?” and “If only I’d said X, or done Y.”

The numbers are brutal, especially for young people. Too many of our kids are battling suicidal thoughts, and far too many of them are doing it in silence because they’re ashamed or scared, or because the adults around them are too terrified to even think about, let alone name what might be happening.

Then, in the spring of 2022, my daughter Rory wrote a college essay about living in the shadow of Parker’s death and her own mental health struggles. Reading her words – raw, direct, courageous – awoke something in me.

She talked about not knowing how to be anyone but “Parker’s sister,” about trying to figure out who she was in the wreckage. It knocked something loose in me.

I realised I couldn’t keep expecting my kids to tell the truth about their pain if I was going to stay quiet about mine. It was time to confront the silence and guilt that take over after suicide, and to make sure that people who feel pulled toward that edge know they are not alone. There is zero shame in asking for help.

So, I started telling my story.

At first, it wasn’t a show. It was just me, at a table late at night, scribbling memories and fragments: Parker as a little girl insisting on ice cream, Parker drawing on every surface in the apartment, Parker in a hospital gown apologising for being sick, Parker onstage at school and absolutely owning it.

I wrote about the day of the phone call and the immediate aftermath: the wake, and what it feels like to stand over your child’s body. What it feels like to see your grief mirrored by the family and friends surrounding you.

Over time, those pages turned into a script – a one-man show about a family punched through the heart by suicide, and the love that somehow keeps flowing regardless.

It’s a family portrait and a love letter to Parker. It’s also a survival story. Not a triumphant “and then everything was fine” survival, but the kind where you limp forward, fall down and keep getting up because there are still people who need you, who love you. I called it “Bent Through Glass” because life is unspeakably fragile, the world a place of broken shards despite our best efforts. And also, and more importantly, because even when glass fractures or breaks, it never ceases to refract the light around us.

If Parker can no longer be here, then what I want is for her story to help someone else stay.

If you’ve lost someone to suicide, you might be in the same loop I was:

How did I not see it coming? How did I let it happen? What kind of parent, partner, friend does this make me?

I don’t have answers that make those questions disappear. What I’ve learned is that the questions themselves are a vacuum. “Why?” is eternal, possessing an infinite array of answers. I spent years asking why, only to be dragged deeper into a lightless hole, every time.

The only thing that has any consistency for me now is this: don’t turn away from it. Turn toward it. That means turning toward your own grief instead of stuffing it down and pretending you’re “fine.” It means turning toward the people around you who are hurting, instead of looking away because you’re afraid of saying the wrong thing.

And it especially means this: if you think someone you love might be suicidal, say the word. Ask the question.

You are not going to “give them the idea.” If they are in that kind of pain, the idea is already there. What you might give them is permission to tell the truth out loud. Ask directly: “Are you thinking about killing yourself?” If the answer is yes:

• Stay.
• Tell them you’re grateful they told you.
• Help them reach out to trained support: a crisis line (in the U.S., you can call or text 988), a therapist, a doctor, a trusted adult, whoever is available and trained to help.

You don’t have to fix them. You’re not a superhero. You’re a human being saying, “I see you, and I’m not going anywhere.”

If you’re the one in that dark place right now, hovering on the edge of thoughts you don’t want to admit even to yourself, this is what I want to say as a father:

Stay. Stay long enough to tell one person. Stay long enough to make one call or send one text. Stay long enough to get through this hour, and then the next one.

You are not weak for needing help. You are not a burden for feeling this way. There is no shame in saying, “I can’t hold this alone.”

When I step out under the lights and tell this story, I’m not doing it because I enjoy reliving the worst day of my life. I’m doing it because, in the aftermath of Parker’s death and Rory and Hudson’s struggles, it’s clear to me that silence around suicide is killing people.

We cannot afford that silence anymore. We never could.

Alex Koltchak is a writer, filmmaker, actor, performer, and stand-up comedian. His one-man show, Bent Through Glass, is being staged at The 30th Street Theater in NYC from April 1-25, 2026, with the aim of performing the work nationally.

Keir Starmer has been accused of the “mother of all U-turns” after giving the US the green light to expand their use of RAF bases to bomb Iran.

Downing Street announced that American jets will be allowed to use British bases to strike sites targeting the Strait of Hormuz.

It marks a significant shift in the government’s approach to the UK’s involvement in the war.

Starmer initially refused Donald Trump’s request to use RAF bases to bomb Iran at the start of the war.

However, the prime minister then decided to allow them to launch “defensive” missions against missile launch sites.

A Downing Street spokesman said those attacks can now be expanded as part of efforts to re-open the Strait of Hormuz, which carries around one-fifth of the global oil supply.

Its closure due to attacks by Iran on oil tankers has sent the price of oil soaring and sparked fears of a global economic crisis.

The No.10 spokesman said: ”[Ministers] confirmed that the agreement for the US to use UK bases in the collective self-defence of the region includes US defensive operations to degrade the missile sites and capabilities being used to attack ships in the Strait of Hormuz.

“They reaffirmed that the principles behind the UK’s approach to the conflict remain the same: the UK remains committed to defending our people, our interests and our allies, acting in accordance with international law and not getting drawn into the wider conflict.

“Ministers underlined the need for urgent de-escalation and a swift resolution to the war.”

Despite the shift in the UK’s position, Trump told reporters Starmer “should have acted a lot faster”.

Posting on X, Tory leader Kemi Badenoch said the PM had performed “the mother of all U-turns”.

Shadow defence secretary James Cartlidge added: “After weeks of dither and finger pointing, the prime minister has once again changed his mind and performed yet another screeching U-turn.

“The prime minister had the Navy’s only active minesweeper taken out of the Gulf a week before the war began. He dithered about sending a warship to help defend our base in Cyprus. And where we have been clear from the outset that we would have allowed our closest military ally to use our bases, Starmer has been all over the place.

“When we need strong leadership in challenging times, Starmer is weak and indecisive.”

Dame Jenni Murray, the veteran journalist best known as the longest-serving host of the BBC’s Woman’s Hour, has died at the age of 75.

In a post on the Radio 4 show’s Instagram page on Friday evening, the channel’s controller Mohit Bakaya said: “Jenni Murray was a formidable voice in British broadcasting who was warm, fearless and beloved by listeners.

“During her decades at Woman’s Hour, she helped shape the national conversation with intelligence, rigour and a remarkable ability to connect with audiences. Jenni leaves an indelible legacy on generations of listeners.

“We are profoundly grateful for her outstanding contribution to Radio 4, and she will be deeply missed.”

Dame Jenni began presenting Woman’s Hour in 1987, before officially stepping down more than 30 years later, in October 2020.

Prior to that, she had worked at other flagship BBC shows including Newsnight and Radio 4’s Today Show.

She continued to work in journalism following her Woman’s Hour departure, writing for the likes of the Daily Mail and Saga magazine.

In 2011, she was awarded a damehood by the late Queen Elizabeth II for services to broadcasting.

The BBC’s outgoing director-general Tim Davie also paid his respects on Friday, saying: “This is incredibly sad news and our thoughts are with all of Dame Jenni’s family and friends. Dame Jenni was, simply put, a broadcasting icon.

“Throughout her three groundbreaking decades on Woman’s Hour, Jenni created a safe space for her audience thanks to her warmth, intelligence and courage.

“We shall all miss her terribly. Her legacy endures in the countless conversations she started, the many issues she championed and the lives she touched.”

As leadership election launches ago, it was pretty inauspicious.

Fewer than a dozen Labour MPs were present as Angela Rayner got to her feet in the basement of a Whitehall pub to make it clear she wants to replace Keir Starmer as prime minister.

Addressing the soft-left campaign group Mainstream’s spring reception, the former deputy PM said the government was “running out of time” to deliver the change Labour promised before the election.

“It needs to be felt, and we have to show that it’s a Labour government that will deliver it,” Rayner declared, before going on to take aim at home secretary Shabana Mahmood’s immigration crackdown.

Plans to double the length of time it takes for migrants – including two million who are already in the UK – to be granted permanent residency are “un-British”, Rayner said.

“That would not just be bad policy, but a breach of trust,” she told those present. “The people already in the system who made a huge investment now fear for their future.

“We cannot talk about earning a settlement if we keep moving the goalposts because moving the goalposts undermines a sense of fair play.”

Sources close to Rayner have also let it be known that the HMRC investigation into her tax affairs – the main impediment to any leadership bid – will be dealt with in time for the UK-wide elections on May 7.

By happy coincidence, that is when Starmer is expected to face moves to unseat him, assuming the results in Scotland, Wales and England are as catastrophic for the party as the opinion polls suggest.

Labour MP Karl Turner told HuffPost UK this week: “If we do badly in Scotland, Wales and up and down regions of England the PM will undoubtedly face a challenge.”

Rayner’s blatant manoeuvring has triggered an angry backlash from many Labour figures, not least those who saw her up close when she was the Secretary of State for Housing, Communities and Local Government.

“She wasn’t up to running her department, never mind the country,” said one former aide. “She couldn’t even get the bins emptied in Birmingham.”

That is a reference to the long-running strike by refuse workers in England’s second biggest city.

“She used to sit in meetings and ask why the strike was going on, when ending it was literally her job.”

Even if she is cleared by the taxman, the fact that she was forced to resign from government for failing to pay the right amount of stamp duty will continue to haunt her.

A Labour source said: “Making Angie prime minister isn’t going to make things any better for the party because most voters think she doesn’t pay her tax.”

One senior party insider said they were baffled that Rayner had chosen to criticise Mahmood’s immigration reforms.

“The public support for what Shabana is doing is enormous, it’s probably the most popular thing the government is doing,” he said.

“The party will struggle to get a hearing if it suddenly changes its mind on something with such strong public support. There is absolutely no sign out there that the public think this is something that they have to change.

“This is the territory Labour gets itself into all the time – talking to itself rather than to the country at large.”

Writing in The Guardian, Rayner pointed out that centre-left parties in Canada, Australia and Norway “surged back to win again” in the face of challenges from right-wing populists.

“They showed they would tackle the issues that mattered most to people, and voters decided that a progressive government that puts people first and lowers costs for ordinary people was the better choice,” she wrote.

But one Labour MP said: “Her comparisons to Norway, Australia and Canada undermine her fundamental thesis – that there needs to now be a change because time is of the essence.

“In each country Rayner cites, the governing party bounced back in the final year of the parliamentary term before going on to win.

“This is a view which seeks to falsely cherry pick countries, ignoring the dramatic fall in support for centre left parties across advanced democracies in Europe – whether it be in France, in Germany or in Italy.”

Another backbencher said: “Where’s Angela’s vision? It’s all very well criticising, but there’s no substance.

“What would she do to tackle the energy crisis, the geopolitical headwinds, or young people not in work, education or training? She’s got nothing to say on any of those things.”

Although it may still seem unlikely, there is a small but growing body of opinion within Labour that Starmer may still be leader long after May 7.

“At the moment, he’s the least worst option,” a Labour veteran told HuffPost UK.

“A lot of people doubt whether Rayner’s up to it, and there’s a suspicion that Wes [Streeting] is all style and no substance. Andy Burnham can’t even get a seat so he’s out of the equation.

“Out of them all I’d probably favour Shabana, but the immigration stuff puts me off. Sending girls back to Afghanistan is beyond the pale, in my opinion.”

“There is definitely a world in which Keir is still there at the end of the year,” said a former Labour adviser.

“The right of the party have worked out none of their candidates stand a chance of winning with the members, and the left are getting everything they want from Starmer anyway, so why bother changing it?”

Angela Rayner has fired the starting gun on the race to succeed Starmer. It is yet to be seen whether she will make it to the finishing line.

Comment provided by Kit Delamain, head chef at Circus Pizza, Panzer’s, Stuart Gillies, chef-owner for Number Eight, Sevenoaks and Bank House, Chislehurst, and Zoe Gill, development chef at Brakes Foodservices.

Great news for fellow bakers – though we’re reaching the end of winter’s forced rhubarb harvest, most other varieties are almost in season, and will remain at their best until June.

The tangy treat, which is technically a vegetable, is a favourite among home cooks and chefs alike. So, we thought we’d ask some pros, namely, chefs Stuart Gillies, Zoe Gill, and Kit Delamain, to share their favourite dish involving rhubarb.

“At this time of year, rhubarb really takes centre stage, and I like to use it in a crumble with apple and oats,” Gillies told us.

That way, “its natural sharpness is the hero, balanced gently with sweetness and finished with a crisp, buttery topping”.

We’ve written before at HuffPost UK about why you should consider baking, rather than stewing, your rhubarb, as well as the best crumble topping we’ve tried so far.

Sweet is not the only option here, the chef told us.

“Rhubarb is a great ingredient to pair with a pork dish. When cooked down into a compote, it works really well as a substitute for pear or apple sauce,” she explained.

“Its tangy, sharp taste acts as a great contrast to the fattiness of a pork belly or chops, especially with a touch of honey and herbs.”

Then, there’s the nutritional element to consider.

“Rhubarb is also high in fibre, vitamin C and calcium, so it can be considered a healthy accompaniment,” Gill said.

“I would recommend serving with seasonal vegetables like asparagus, carrots or broad beans and a side of roasted or boiled Jersey royal potatoes.”

The pizza chef, who really seems to stand by his craft, said: “We went up to Leeds in February to secure the pink gold, the English champagne, Yorkshire forced rhubarb.

“We could see no better use for it than to spruce up our already divisive custard pizza, made with vanilla to pair with our limited rhubarb. It’s a big pink custard tart.”

If you don’t fancy proving your own dough, though, a custard and rhubarb tart is a beautiful and surprisingly simple thing: BBC Good Food’s gingery recipe is incredibly well-reviewed.

(Don’t tell the chefs, but both us and them recommend premade shortcrust for the job).