Politics
The Glasgow vape-shop fire speaks to the hellscape of modern Britain
A fire that began in a vape shop has destroyed one of Glasgow’s most recognisable and beloved architectural façades and caused days of disruption to Scotland’s busiest train station. The story behind last Sunday’s blaze is not fully out yet, but what is already known is wearyingly predictable and familiar. A company called Junaid Retail Limited, trading in Glasgow as ‘Scot’s World’, had sold the business two weeks previously, having already accrued a year’s worth of unpaid business rates. Naturally, no license was held by either party for the sale of vapes or tobacco products.
Photographs of the shop prior to the fire suggest that, while mainly trading in vapes, it was also offering a selection of cheap duvets, luggage, hand puppets and soft toys. Even without the benefit of hindsight, the first word that springs to mind, perhaps the only unifying principle in an image otherwise suggestive of post-stroke visual aphasia, is ‘flammable’. The whole scenario could hardly have been more on the nose as a symbol of the decline of British retail, not to mention the vanished prosperity to which the tobacco trade contributed so much in Glasgow in the mid-19th century.
The premises on Union Street were first constructed in 1851 for Orr and Sons, a thriving stationery business. History does not record whether they also offered a range of random knick-knacks, bed linen and other kindling. Images from Union Street’s first hundred years show a street life teeming with energy and purpose, if suggestive of easily recognisable Glaswegian weather. Indeed, despite fears of climate change, that would appear to be the one thing that has remained grimly constant over time. What has changed, or rather vanished, is the kind of formal attire everywhere visible, nowadays associated mainly with funerals and court appearances, if that. One could easily repurpose Philip Larkin’s ‘MCMXIV’ to eulogise the scene.
Vape shops are among the least appealing businesses to have moved into the defenceless hollows that disfigure once-thriving high streets up and down the country. They are perhaps the most familiar icon of the emergent, dominant aesthetic often characterised, after an X account of that name, as ‘Yookay’.
Horrible enough in themselves, vape shops look especially jarring when housed like commercial hermit crabs, behind heritage façades such as that in Union Street. It is unclear whether they and their invariable co-habitees, the Turkish barbers, are even viable in conventional terms or are merely maintained as part of some money-laundering racket. And even when they don’t burst into flames, the suspicion of low-level criminality clings to them like the aroma of sickly steam substrate to a dead-eyed teenager’s synthetic outer shell.
The interiors are generally a combination of the sort of sinister glass apothecary cabinets that Damien Hirst explored in his 1992 installation, Pharmacy, and a sweet shop that turns out to be run by a witch.
Despite, or perhaps because of, the relentless cheerfulness of the packaging and the promised ‘flavours’, the juxtaposition of words like ‘Cherry’ and ‘Mint Julep’ with bold, black sans-serif health warnings, very few people deny that there is something dispiriting about vaping itself or the ambience the product creates in bulk. Which makes it all the more humiliating to have to confess that I did recently experiment with them myself, as a nicotine-delivery system, despite not having smoked since 1992.
I count myself lucky as having been one of those people into whom nicotine does not sink its teeth and claws quite as deeply as some. I started smoking while hitch-hiking in Europe in the summer of 1983, before going to university. I stopped after an epiphany that occurred in a cheap guest house in Spain, while skinning up the first smoke of the day from half-inch butts left in the ashtray from the night before. I suddenly saw myself as a stranger might and thought, correctly, ‘That is disgusting’. And I quit. Simple as that.
Recently, though, I decided to give the vapes a go. Partly to try to punctuate long drives without the need to pay for service-station coffee, both financially and with age-related bladder discomfort. And partly because all my favourite dead authors seem to have been photographed either with a woodbine in the ashtray or ideally, for the really contemplative geniuses like Tolkien and CS Lewis, a pipe stem clamped between their teeth as they savour the completion of another paragraph of archival quality.
Needless to say, it was a failure. On the road, rather than breaking up the monotony, the vape quickly became part of it. There were no measurable breaks between inhalations. Whatever else is wrong with it, traditional smoking does at least introduce a kind of ebb and flow into one’s subjective experience of the world. It gives one a sense of having completed a cycle of some sort, and ready to go again. Vaping doesn’t do this. Instead it becomes part of the autonomic nervous system, as unthinkingly adopted as breathing itself. Instead of being a welcome paragraph or page break, vaping becomes at once as urgent and unsatisfying as an infant failing to get a latch.
All the while, the stylistic aspect, the undeniable cool that still attaches to the Bogarts, Delons and Deans when pictured getting their fix the old-fashioned way, is not only missing when you are seen suckling on one of these plastic teats. The exact opposite is instead suggested: you look like a small boy who is struggling with his first day at school and really wishes someone would come and get him, ideally his mum.
This might all have stayed unaddressed at the back of my mind, had not several valued friends and one valued wife explicitly told me that they think vaping diminishes me and makes me look like an outpatient. And so, the very day before the Glasgow fire, I quit. Thankfully, as before, the nicotine is not really missed. What is, I think, is the sugary tang, the deep breath and the physical twitch. I realise I’m actually addicted to vaporised boiled sweets.
Perhaps none of this really addresses the dire state of the British high street, as exposed by that fire. But somehow, it does seem to echo it, to me at least. Vape shops are to real shops what vaping is to smoking. And lunging at cheap gimmicks that promise to deliver the benefits of an earlier, abandoned practice, without embracing the whole organic truth, might be exactly what is going on in the pestilence that is visibly parasitic on our once thriving hubs of retail activity.
I tried to address some of the issues in an episode of my Radio 4 show, Simon Evans Goes to Market, after the pandemic. And while I’m not generally an advocate for council meddling and command economies, it does seem to me that we need to have a long hard think about what we want our high streets to be, and maybe favour some kinds of business over others – and not only in terms of their likelihood to burn the place down.
Simon Evans is a spiked columnist and stand-up comedian. Tickets for his tour, Staring at the Sun, are on sale here.
We’ve covered off mid, chat, chopped, choppelganger, tuff, six-seven (*takes a breath*) and dozens of other weird phrases kids come out with thanks to viral internet culture.
Now, some teachers in the US are reporting kids are saying “call your Uber” or “call yo Uber” in class. Uber is a popular ride-hailing company so it’s kind of like saying, “call yourself a taxi”. In short: you need to leave.
TikTok creator and teacher Philip Lindsay said: “‘Call your Uber’ is a phrase that I’ve heard kids starting to use in the last couple of weeks and it’s always directed at somebody who’s either being annoying or doing something unwanted.”
The phrase has likely come from a video, the educator explained, where two people are interacting and are “very obviously annoyed at each other” – then one of them tells the other to “call your Uber”.
Another teacher known online as Coach Philly noted he’s also heard the phrase and will be using it because it’s “hilarious”.
“I actually love this one and yes I’m going to use it,” he said in a TikTok video.
“So anytime you hear ‘call your Uber’ that just means: ‘please stop’, ‘shut up’, ‘you’re annoying’, ‘get out’, ‘leave’, ‘just quit’ … If you see somebody doing something you don’t like or they’re being annoying or they’re getting on your nerves or you want them to leave, you just say ‘call your Uber’.”
What else are kids saying?
Mid
When Gen Alpha uses it, “mid” means mediocre or of disappointing quality. If you’re described as “mid” by a teenager then they’re basically saying you are… average.
According to Merriam-Webster, “mid” serves to express that something falls short of expectations, or isn’t impressive.
The dictionary notes that this slang term is thought to have come from a shortening of the term mid-grade, “a designation in cannabis culture of medium quality”.
City boy
“City boy, city boy” is the call of Gen Alpha currently, with TikTok creator and teacher Philip Lindsay noting kids in his class have been saying it.
“It’s a meme from an old video clip that they’re just repeating,” explained the teacher, who is based in the US. The memes actually first did the rounds in 2022 and appear to be popular again.
From a Gen Alpha perspective, Mr Lindsay suggested the phrase doesn’t really mean anything and kids are just shouting it out at all opportunities – a bit like six-seven.
Unc
This is short for “uncle”. And, per Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, it’s “often used humorously to indicate old age” and may imply “someone is old, getting old, or acting older than their age”.
Unc status may also be awarded to someone who “exhibit[s] behaviours that are considered outdated or out of touch”.
Chopped
In Gen Z and Gen Alpha speak, it means “ugly”. In some cases, younger generations have been calling people, mainly girls, chuzz – a less-than-friendly portmanteau of “chopped” and “huzz”, which means “ugly hoes”.
If your child’s been called chopped at school, here’s some advice on handling it.
Some kids have also been using ‘chopped’ to describe anything they don’t like. (So basically, “that’s chopped” became the equivalent of “that sucks”.)
Choppelganger
Choppelganger is a portmanteau of ‘chopped’ (aka ugly), and ‘doppelganger’, which is a person who resembles someone else. In short, it’s calling someone a less-attractive lookalike of someone else.
Check out our ultimate guide to teen slang here.
The Peter Mandelson scandal has returned to haunt Keir Starmer once again after fresh details about the ex-ambassador’s security vetting were revealed.
It appears security officials advised against appointing the former Labour peer to be the UK’s attache to Washington.
But, according to the government, the Foreign Office overrode those concerns and granted Mandelson vetted status anyway.
This has caused a fresh row over how much the prime minister knew – and when. He has since fired the top Foreign Office official in a bid to get ahead of the row.
Still, his political opponents have accused him of misleading the Commons by vowing “due process” was followed in appointing Mandelson.
Critics claim this strengthens the argument for Starmer to step down – even as the May elections approach.
But first, let’s recap…
Why Is Peter Mandelson’s Appointment Such A Big Deal?
Mandelson, a former minister under New Labour and later spin doctor, was announced as Starmer’s pick to be the UK’s ambassador to the US in late 2024.
Government files have since proven Starmer was warned that his choice to fill the ambassador role with a political appointment rather than a career diplomat could make the PM himself more exposed.
A due diligence report from December 2024 also shows Starmer was warned appointing Mandelson came with “reputational risk”.
His friendship with convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein had already been well-documented at this point, particularly by the Financial Times.
Mandelson had also been forced to resign from government before over scandals and previously criticised Donald Trump.
Even so, government files show Mandelson received an email saying he would receive “high-tier” briefings from January 6, before his security vetting was completed.
The UK Security Vetting then denied Mandelson clearance at the end of January, according to the Guardian.
Even so, Mandelson officially started the role in February, flying out to Washington DC and appearing on exceptionally friendly terms with Trump.
In September 2025, the US House Oversight Committee released documents related to the Epstein probe – including messages from Mandelson calling Epstein his “best pal”, suggesting they were closer than previously thought.
He was fired two days later.
A second batch of Epstein files from the US raised more questions about how he maintained a friendship with the disgraced financier after he was sentenced for soliciting a minor in 2008.
Mandelson resigned from the Labour Party in February, while Starmer said he regretted appointing him and was lied to by the peer.
MPs then voted to force the government to release all files related to Mandelson, although some documents are being held back while the police conduct their own probe into the former ambassador.
The ex-peer was then arrested on suspicion of misconduct in public office in late February, after claims he was planning on emigrating.
Mandelson was soon released under investigation. He has always denied any allegations of wrongdoing in relation to Epstein.
Sticky Questions Remaining For Keir Starmer
1. Did The Prime Minister Mislead MPs When He Said ‘Due Process’ Was Followed?
This question will be the most pertinent one for parliamentarians.
Starmer told MPs in “full due process” was followed during Mandelson’s appointment in September.
He also told journalists in February that independent security vetting gave Mandelson “clearance for the role”.
The UK Ministerial Code states any minister who “knowingly” misleads the Commons must correct the record as soon as possible and step down.
2. Will Parliament Get To See the Vetting Documents?
The government is still abiding by the “humble address”, where MPs voted to force the government to publicly release “all papers” linked to Mandelson’s appointment.
However, the motion did offer an exemption for details “prejudicial to UK national security or international relations” – a matter which would refer to the intelligence and security committee of MPs.
Releasing such evidence would be unprecedented, but the Downing Street statement on Thursday said the government would “include documents” linked to Mandelson’s vetting as it complies with the parliamentary motion.
3. Did Olly Robbins Give Mandelson Clearance?
While the Foreign Office chief may have taken the fall last night, questions remain over who exactly rubber-stamped Mandelson’s appointment.
Robbins had only been in the post for a handful of weeks when Mandelson’s vetting came through.
It remains unclear whether he consulted with senior politicians or officials over the decision, though the government insists ministers were not party to it.
4. Why Did Mandelson Fail Vetting?
The exact reason is unlikely to be revealed anytime soon, but there will be plenty of speculation around it.
Reasons for vetting failure have never been revealed to the public before.
5. When Did Downing Street Find Out Mandelson Failed Vetting?
Chief secretary to the prime minister Darren Jones told broadcasters Starmer only found out about this on Tuesday evening.
However, the Independent reported in September that Mandelson may have failed to clear MI6 vetting.
A Downing Street spokesperson told the newspaper at the time: “Vetting done by FCDO in normal way.”
This has raised substantial questions about the timeline around Mandelson’s appointment.
Subscribe to Commons People, the podcast that makes politics easy. Every week, Kevin Schofield and Kate Nicholson unpack the week’s biggest stories to keep you informed. Join us for straightforward analysis of what’s going on at Westminster.
Almost a third of us wake up in the middle of the night at least three times a weekEven though I have insomnia, my problem doesn’t actually lie in getting to sleep.
I nod off just fine, but my problem is staying in dreamland.
More often than not, I wake up at 3am and simply cannot get back to sleep.
There are things I’ve learned to do to cope with the problem. “Clock blocking”, refusing to stay in bed for more than 20 minutes, and (paradoxically) willing myself to stay awake have all been effective at getting me back to sleep.
But given that almost a third of us wake up in the middle of the night at least three times a week – and that multiple friends had cited 3am as their most common early rising hour – I thought I’d ask Dr Seeta Shah from PANDA London if there’s anything “special” about that time.
Here’s what she told us…
Why do I always wake up at 3am?
“Waking up around 3am is a surprisingly common experience,” Dr Shah confirmed.
This, she said, could be down to a mixture of biological and lifestyle factors, like your body’s natural sleep cycle.
“During a typical night’s sleep, we go through multiple 90-minute cycles that include different stages of sleep, from light to deep and REM sleep,” the doctor said.
“Around 3am, most people are transitioning between cycles, and the sleep tends to be lighter at this point. That makes us more susceptible to waking, especially if there are external disturbances such as noise, light, temperature changes or even the need to use the loo.”
Then, she said, there’s a hormonal component. “In the early hours of the morning, the body begins to increase its production of cortisol, the ‘stress hormone,’ in preparation for waking,” she explained.
“This natural rise in cortisol, combined with a dip in melatonin (the sleep hormone), can make the body more alert and prone to waking around this time.”
Cortisol usually dips to a low at around midnight and slowly rises thereafter.
“If you’re feeling anxious or have an active mind, this early-morning wakefulness can quickly turn into prolonged sleeplessness,” Dr Shah told us.
How can I stop waking up at 3am?
“Lifestyle factors such as alcohol consumption, late-night screen use, inconsistent bedtimes, and even blood sugar dips can all contribute to waking at this hour,” the doctor explained.
If you suspect this may be the cause of your early morning wake-ups, consider changing your habits and seeing how it affects your kip.
But “if waking at 3am becomes a regular pattern, it’s worth examining both physical and mental health, as well as evening habits, to identify and address any underlying causes,” Dr Shah cautioned.
The NHS said that if poor sleep is affecting your day-to-day life and causing you distress, you should speak to your GP about it.
Related…
One dad’s hilarious video of him being roasted by his children during the school run is a must-watch if you need a good laugh today.
Tay Kabs, a YouTube star who lives with his family in London, was taking his kids Maliya, nine, and TJ, six, to school on the first day back after the Easter holidays, when they started to talk amongst themselves about how old their friends’ parents were.
“Dad, what age did you and mummy meet?” asked Maliya, to which the father-of-four responded: “Umm, we were about 12.”
This clearly blew his daughter’s mind, who exclaimed: “12! Oh my gosh, wait. I’m nine [she then counts up to 12]. Three years older than me?!”
Maliya then asks how long her parents have been together, to which Tay responds 23 years. And you absolutely know where this is going…
“23 years! Wait, if you and mummy did not have any phones back then, how did you communicate?”
At this point TJ chimes in: “Dad used to write letters to mum.”
The comments continued: “He probably used the fountain pen with the feather [cackling].”
“And he probably dipped it in ink [explosion of laughter].”
The floodgates had been ripped wide open.
At this point both kids are in stitches in the back of the car, while Tay looks on. But the roast didn’t stop there. It was only just heating up.
“But dad, seriously, did you and your friends sing to mum on the way to school?” asked Maliya.
“Wait, did you and mum get invited to the Queen’s coronation? And what did you wear?”
“Dad wore a durag!” adds TJ, roaring with laughter.
“Mummy and daddy went on a double date with Mary and Joseph,” continues Maliya.
“But what if they were on a date, who would be babysitting Jesus?
“Oh yeah [hysterical laughter] Morgan Freeman.”
When I contacted Tay to check in (and ask how he kept a straight face for the duration of the video), he responded: “I didn’t, honestly. I was trying my best, but they were roasting me the whole time.
“With them, you never know what’s coming next – I just let the camera roll and hoped I could hold it together.”
The video has gone viral, with 1.9 million favourites and over 61,000 comments at the time of writing.
“Them being so proper and roasting you is diabolical,” shared one commenter.
“YOOOO. These kids be out for blood because why am I hearing such eloquent children rake him over the coals,” added another.
Most people took the opportunity to praise the parent for raising such quick-witted kids.
“Okay but also proud parent moment that they were throwing all the most educational shade,” said one fan.
“Sir, you’ve clearly done an excellent job raising your kids,” added another.
Discussing the reaction, Tay told me: “It’s funny because that’s genuinely how they are with me at home. I’m their dad but I’m also their number one target. I love that people are enjoying it – their confidence and quick wit is just natural.”
It’s clear humour is an important part of their day-to-day life. Any parent knows that with young kids, life can have many twists and turns, and while there are plenty of challenges, the Kabs are finding ways to giggle and guffaw through it.
“Humour is a big part of our household,” he ends. “With kids, especially at that age, things can get chaotic — laughter keeps everything balanced. Moments like that school run are real life for us.”
A cabinet minister has confirmed that the government has planned for food shortages this summer amid economic strains caused by the Iran war.
Business and trade secretary Peter Kyle said ministers were engaging in “scenario planning” as Iran continues to block the major oil shipping waterway, the Strait of Hormuz.
It comes after The Times reported the UK could endure a shortage of chicken, pork and other supermarket goods in the coming months.
Food supplies are not expected to reach critical levels but there could be less variety on the shelves as a result, according to the newspaper.
Kyle told Times Radio: “We are doing this kind of scenario planning.
“Bearing in mind that back in Covid, Boris Johnson missed five Cobra meetings in the lead up to it.
“I can tell you because I’m in these meetings, the prime minister has been there since the very start and he is going through personally and driving deep dives into lots of areas of resilience throughout our economy.
“And you can see from the actions I’ve taken because CO2 has made its way onto the front pages today. So that’s why we’re having this conversation.
“People should be reassured that we are doing this kind of action behind the scenes to keep resilience into our economy.”
Kyle pointed to his decision to “mothball” a company called Ensus in the North East, which produces CO2 as a by-product, when it faced bankruptcy earlier this year.
“In the first couple of days of the conflict erupting in the Middle East, I unmothballed Ensus. And I can tell you that it is now back up to full operation producing CO2,” he said.
Kyle also told Sky News he would “reassure people” that shortages of CO2 is “not a concern for our economy”.
“Right now people should go on as they are, enjoying beer, enjoying their meats, enjoying all the salads,” he said.
Government officials have concluded that in a “reasonable worst-case scenario”, the closure of the Strait of Hormuz could trigger a carbon dioxide shortage.
According to The Times, insiders predict CO2 levels could fall to just 18% of what they currently are if a key UK plant faces a mechanical error, and if high gas costs trigger a fall in ammonia and fertiliser production, both of which make CO2 as a by-product.
The gas is used in a variety of products, including in the process of slaughtering pigs and most chickens.
CO2 is also used to boost the shelf life of food like salad, packaged meats and baked goods.
It’s needed to make drinks fizzy, too, meaning a shortage would hit farming, hospitality, and breweries.
There could be disruption to healthcare and civil nuclear sectors as well, by hitting dry ice supplies and affecting storage for cold blood, organs and vaccines, as well as Britain’s national electricity supply.
The Times reported that officials from No.10, the Treasury and the Ministry of Defence have secretly rehearsed how to respond if there’s a CO2 shortage in an event called “Exercise Turnstone”.
They have reportedly prepared a response on the assumption Strait of Hormuz is still shut and no permanent peace deal had been agreed by June 2026.
A CO2 shortage last hit the UK in 2022 after energy price shocks caused by the Ukraine war.
The report comes as YouGov polling found seven in 10 Brits (69%) think the country is poorly prepared for a major conflict.
A No.10 spokesperson said the government is “stress testing a wide range of scenarios, however unlikely they may be, to make sure that our supply chains and the economy are always protected”.
“If there are any resilience issues, we will be upfront with the public about it,” he added.
Subscribe to Commons People, the podcast that makes politics easy. Every week, Kevin Schofield and Kate Nicholson unpack the week’s biggest stories to keep you informed. Join us for straightforward analysis of what’s going on at Westminster.
Keir Starmer sacked the top civil servant in the Foreign Office last night after the row over Peter Mandelson appointment returned.
Hours after it was revealed that the ex-Labour peer failed security vetting but still got the top job as the UK’s ambassador to Washington, the prime minister fired Olly Robbins.
According to the BBC and the Times, Starmer was “furious” after the Guardian reported that the Foreign Office had defied advice from the vetting process and appointed Mandelson anyway.
No.10 insists neither Starmer nor his ministers were aware of this detail until this week.
It read: “Neither the Prime Minister, nor any Government Minister, was aware that Peter Mandelson was granted Developed Vetting against the advice of UK Security Vetting until earlier this week.”
It remains unclear why Mandelson failed the vetting and if Robbins was the person who decided to override security advice.
Mandelson worked as the ambassador to Washington between February and September 2025 before he was fired as the depth of his relationship with convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein was revealed.
He has denied any wrongdoing in connection to the disgraced financier.
Mandelson is currently being investigated by police on suspicion passing market-sensitive information to Epstein when he was a minister under New Labour.
The Conservatives, Reform UK and the Greens have all called for the prime minister to resign.
They accuse him of misleading MPs when he told them in September that “due process had been followed” when it came to hiring the former ambassador to Washington.
According to the Ministerial Code, ministers who knowingly mislead parliament are expected to stand down.
Subscribe to Commons People, the podcast that makes politics easy. Every week, Kevin Schofield and Kate Nicholson unpack the week’s biggest stories to keep you informed. Join us for straightforward analysis of what’s going on at Westminster.
“Do you think I should consider freezing my eggs?”
I posed this question to my grandmother and aunt recently as the reality set in that I’m about to turn 30. According to medical science, the older I get, the fewer chances I have for pregnancy. But as we approach Black Maternal Health Week, I find myself returning to that question, and my age isn’t the only thing giving me pause.
Black women’s bodies have long been at the mercy of harsh surveillance, financial instability and health inequities. Because I have a Ph.D. in maternal and child health, I am well aware that maternal mortality among Black women has been a persistent inequity since the 1930s.
In 2023, for example, the maternal mortality rate among Black women was 50.3 deaths per 100,000 live births and significantly higher than rates for white, Hispanic and Asian women. And though there was a slight dip in 2024 (44.8 deaths per 100,000 live births), the statistics remain frighteningly high.
The higher rates of maternal deaths aren’t attributed to one singular thing. Black birthing people are dying, regardless of income or education, because of multiple factors, including structural and systemic racism, provider bias, quality of linguistic and culturally appropriate care, and cumulative stress and weathering.
I was taught to name these as the social-structural determinants of health, focusing on how multiple levels of influence (i.e., individual, interpersonal, community and societal) can impact an individual’s health outcomes. This knowledge has heightened my awareness and consideration of, well, everything.
Such rates should be enough to alarm us, but as each year passes and more Black women die, the numbers remind me yet again that this country, along with its medical systems, doesn’t prioritise me. So, even as I wrestle with my readiness to give life, it is painfully clear that my own life may not be protected.
Because I study maternal health, I also know my autonomy is at the mercy of my geography.
Reproductive rights have been under attack in recent years in the U.S. Abortion access is largely restricted in many places across the country. Currently, 41 states have abortion restrictions in effect, with 13 of these having total bans. This means my ZIP code literally determines the level of access I would have to reproductive care should I get pregnant. And my socioeconomic position would dictate the kind of care I ultimately receive.
As I flip over all this in my head, I collide with people and family all the time who express just how much they can’t wait for me to have a baby. To see what kind of mom I’ll be. To see what kind of children I’ll raise in this world.
Photo Courtesy Of Adia R. Louden
They make their hopes for me sound so simple. As if the mere desire for motherhood will shield me from the racism, pain and dismissal that my body may endure. As if my decision is just that — a personal decision.
In a country where reproduction is coupled with risk, options increasingly cease to exist and survival is a question mark, whether or not to choose motherhood is one of the most political decisions I can make.
I hope for a baby I’ll survive to greet, meet and hold against my chest. I hope for the long nights, ordinary days with extraordinary joy and stress. I hope to mother in a way that makes life a jubilant spectacle instead of an everyday terror.
But even my hope often feels riddled with fear.
Because I study maternal health, I’ve followed the political attacks against the vaccine recommendations by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, recommendations meant to protect birthing people during pregnancy and children during their fragile beginnings.
Since 2025, federal officials have launched major assaults on previously established vaccine policies and public health recommendations. As a result, I’m left with diminished trust in a government that I never fully trusted anyway.
Like gospel singer Tamela Mann said, truth is … I’m tired.
Tired of incessantly dreaming and wishing in a country that never wants to see me wake up. Tired of advocating for all the things at stake. Tired of being asked, “Are you ever gonna get married and have a baby?”
To which I’m forced yet again to shrug and say, “Maybe.”
With my 30th birthday less than three months away, that is still my answer. Because I don’t yet know whether I will become a mother. When I posed the question of egg-freezing to my grandmother and aunt a few months ago, they told me not to worry. That I have plenty of time. And perhaps they’re right.
I don’t know if I’ll actually broach the topic of freezing my eggs at my next well woman exam.
But I do know one thing: Black women’s maternal autonomy and health deserve more than slogans and commemorative weeks. We deserve care. We deserve safety. We deserve support – not martyrdom.
Adia R. Louden has a Ph.D. in maternal and child health from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and is a Public Voices Fellow of The OpEd Project in partnership with the National Black Child Development Institute.
Do you have a compelling personal story you’d like to see published on HuffPost? Find out what we’re looking for here and send us a pitch at pitch@huffpost.com.
We’ve covered off mid, chat, chopped, choppelganger, tuff, six-seven (*takes a breath*) and dozens of other weird phrases kids come out with thanks to viral internet culture.
Now, some teachers in the US are reporting kids are saying “call your Uber” or “call yo Uber” in class. Uber is a popular ride-hailing company so it’s kind of like saying, “call yourself a taxi”. In short: you need to leave.
TikTok creator and teacher Philip Lindsay said: “‘Call your Uber’ is a phrase that I’ve heard kids starting to use in the last couple of weeks and it’s always directed at somebody who’s either being annoying or doing something unwanted.”
The phrase has likely come from a video, the educator explained, where two people are interacting and are “very obviously annoyed at each other” – then one of them tells the other to “call your Uber”.
Another teacher known online as Coach Philly noted he’s also heard the phrase and will be using it because it’s “hilarious”.
“I actually love this one and yes I’m going to use it,” he said in a TikTok video.
“So anytime you hear ‘call your Uber’ that just means: ‘please stop’, ‘shut up’, ‘you’re annoying’, ‘get out’, ‘leave’, ‘just quit’ … If you see somebody doing something you don’t like or they’re being annoying or they’re getting on your nerves or you want them to leave, you just say ‘call your Uber’.”
What else are kids saying?
Mid
When Gen Alpha uses it, “mid” means mediocre or of disappointing quality. If you’re described as “mid” by a teenager then they’re basically saying you are… average.
According to Merriam-Webster, “mid” serves to express that something falls short of expectations, or isn’t impressive.
The dictionary notes that this slang term is thought to have come from a shortening of the term mid-grade, “a designation in cannabis culture of medium quality”.
City boy
“City boy, city boy” is the call of Gen Alpha currently, with TikTok creator and teacher Philip Lindsay noting kids in his class have been saying it.
“It’s a meme from an old video clip that they’re just repeating,” explained the teacher, who is based in the US. The memes actually first did the rounds in 2022 and appear to be popular again.
From a Gen Alpha perspective, Mr Lindsay suggested the phrase doesn’t really mean anything and kids are just shouting it out at all opportunities – a bit like six-seven.
Unc
This is short for “uncle”. And, per Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, it’s “often used humorously to indicate old age” and may imply “someone is old, getting old, or acting older than their age”.
Unc status may also be awarded to someone who “exhibit[s] behaviours that are considered outdated or out of touch”.
Chopped
In Gen Z and Gen Alpha speak, it means “ugly”. In some cases, younger generations have been calling people, mainly girls, chuzz – a less-than-friendly portmanteau of “chopped” and “huzz”, which means “ugly hoes”.
If your child’s been called chopped at school, here’s some advice on handling it.
Some kids have also been using ‘chopped’ to describe anything they don’t like. (So basically, “that’s chopped” became the equivalent of “that sucks”.)
Choppelganger
Choppelganger is a portmanteau of ‘chopped’ (aka ugly), and ‘doppelganger’, which is a person who resembles someone else. In short, it’s calling someone a less-attractive lookalike of someone else.
Check out our ultimate guide to teen slang here.
Politics
Politics Home | PM Says It Is “Staggering” And “Unforgiveable” He Wasn’t Told About Mandelson Vetting Failure
(Alamy UK)
2 min read
Keir Starmer has said he is “absolutely furious” that he wasn’t told that Lord Mandelson failed security vetting before being appointed US ambassador.
The Prime Minister said on Friday that it was “staggering” and “unforgivable”.
Starmer’s position is coming under renewed pressure after The Guardian revealed on Thursday that Mandelson had been appointed UK ambassador to the US in 2024 despite failing his security vetting.
No 10 said that the Foreign Office was responsible for the vetting process and overturned the failed security vetting without telling the Prime Minister or any other minister.
Last night, the most senior civil servant in the Foreign Office, Olly Robbins, was sacked after he was understood to have lost the confidence of both Starmer and Foreign Secretary Yvette Cooper.
While Robbins has not yet spoken publicly about the move, Foreign Affairs Committee Chair, Labour MP Emily Thornberry, has requested that the former senior official appear before the select committee on Tuesday to give evidence.
Downing Street added that Starmer had been first made aware of Mandelson’s failed vetting earlier this week.
“I was not told that he had failed security vetting, no minister was told… No 10 wasn’t told, that is completely unacceptable,” the PM said this morning.
“It is totally unacceptable that the Prime Minister making an appointment is not told that security vetting has been failed.”
Starmer said he would “set out all the relevant facts in true transparency” to Parliament on Monday when he plans to correct previous statements he made to the House of Commons about Mandelson’s appointment.
Also speaking this morning, Chief Secretary to the Prime Minister, Darren Jones, said that he had suspended the Foreign Office’s ability to overturn security advice and launched an urgent investigation into how incidents like that could have taken place across government.
Mandelson was sacked in September amid growing pressure over his links to the paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.
The former Labour cabinet minister is currently being investigated by the police over allegations that he leaked confidential government documents to Epstein while in office.
One dad’s hilarious video of him being roasted by his children during the school run is a must-watch if you need a good laugh today.
Tay Kabs, a YouTube star who lives with his family in London, was taking his kids Maliya, nine, and TJ, six, to school on the first day back after the Easter holidays, when they started to talk amongst themselves about how old their friends’ parents were.
“Dad, what age did you and mummy meet?” asked Maliya, to which the father-of-four responded: “Umm, we were about 12.”
This clearly blew his daughter’s mind, who exclaimed: “12! Oh my gosh, wait. I’m nine [she then counts up to 12]. Three years older than me?!”
Maliya then asks how long her parents have been together, to which Tay responds 23 years. And you absolutely know where this is going…
“23 years! Wait, if you and mummy did not have any phones back then, how did you communicate?”
At this point TJ chimes in: “Dad used to write letters to mum.”
The comments continued: “He probably used the fountain pen with the feather [cackling].”
“And he probably dipped it in ink [explosion of laughter].”
The floodgates had been ripped wide open.
At this point both kids are in stitches in the back of the car, while Tay looks on. But the roast didn’t stop there. It was only just heating up.
“But dad, seriously, did you and your friends sing to mum on the way to school?” asked Maliya.
“Wait, did you and mum get invited to the Queen’s coronation? And what did you wear?”
“Dad wore a durag!” adds TJ, roaring with laughter.
“Mummy and daddy went on a double date with Mary and Joseph,” continues Maliya.
“But what if they were on a date, who would be babysitting Jesus?
“Oh yeah [hysterical laughter] Morgan Freeman.”
When I contacted Tay to check in (and ask how he kept a straight face for the duration of the video), he responded: “I didn’t, honestly. I was trying my best, but they were roasting me the whole time.
“With them, you never know what’s coming next – I just let the camera roll and hoped I could hold it together.”
The video has gone viral, with 1.9 million favourites and over 61,000 comments at the time of writing.
“Them being so proper and roasting you is diabolical,” shared one commenter.
“YOOOO. These kids be out for blood because why am I hearing such eloquent children rake him over the coals,” added another.
Most people took the opportunity to praise the parent for raising such quick-witted kids.
“Okay but also proud parent moment that they were throwing all the most educational shade,” said one fan.
“Sir, you’ve clearly done an excellent job raising your kids,” added another.
Discussing the reaction, Tay told me: “It’s funny because that’s genuinely how they are with me at home. I’m their dad but I’m also their number one target. I love that people are enjoying it – their confidence and quick wit is just natural.”
It’s clear humour is an important part of their day-to-day life. Any parent knows that with young kids, life can have many twists and turns, and while there are plenty of challenges, the Kabs are finding ways to giggle and guffaw through it.
“Humour is a big part of our household,” he ends. “With kids, especially at that age, things can get chaotic — laughter keeps everything balanced. Moments like that school run are real life for us.”
NJ Transit may charge $150 round trip to FIFA World Cup at MetLife
Solana validator logs 32 delinquencies, foundation still claims ‘100% uptime’
What Does ‘Call Your Uber’ Mean? The New Gen Z Term Explained
-
Politics7 days agoUS brings back mandatory military draft registration
-
Sports7 days agoMan United discover Nico Schlotterbeck transfer fee as defender reaches Dortmund agreement
-
Fashion7 days agoWeekend Open Thread: Veronica Beard
-
Politics5 days agoWorld Cup exit makes Italy enter crisis mode
-
Business7 days agoTesla Model Y Tops China Auto Sales in March 2026 With 39,827 Registrations, Beating Cheaper EVs and Gas Cars
-
Crypto World4 days agoThe SEC Conditionalises DeFi Platforms to Be Avoided for Broker Registration
-
Crypto World4 days agoSEC Signals Exemption for Crypto Interfaces From Broker Registration
-
News Videos2 days agoSecure crypto trading starts with an FIU-registered
-
NewsBeat5 days agoPep Guardiola and Gary Neville agree over Arsenal title problem that benefits Man City
-
Sports3 hours agoNWFL Suspends Two Players Over Post-Match Clash in Ado-Ekiti
-
Crypto World3 days agoSEC Proposes Certain Crypto Interfaces Don’t Need to Register as Brokers
-
Business6 days agoIreland Fuel Protests Enter Day 5 as Blockades Spark Shortages and Government Prepares Support Package
-
Business7 days agoOpenAI Halts Stargate UK Data Centre Project Over Energy Costs and Copyright Row
-
Crypto World7 days agoFederal judge blocks Arizona from bringing criminal charges against Kalshi
-
NewsBeat3 days agoTrump and Pope Leo: Behind their disagreement over Iran war
-
NewsBeat5 days agoJD Vance announces ‘no agreement’ with Iran over nuclear weapons fear
-
Business7 days agoIMF retains floor for precautionary balances at SDR 20 billion
-
Business6 days agoFormer Liverpool CEO eviscerates FIFA for World Cup ticket pricing
-
Crypto World5 days agoSei Network Enters Quiet Reset Phase as On-Chain Metrics Signal a Slowdown in 2026
-
Business6 days ago
Coreweave CSO Venturo sells $5.5m in class a common stock
You must be logged in to post a comment Login