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The Ashes: England’s ‘pathetic Poms’ savaged by Australian media after two-day pummelling in first Test at Perth | Cricket News
As Travis Head was spanking Australia to victory in a remarkable two-day Ashes Test in Perth, England knew what was coming.
Not only would they be 1-0 down in the five-match series but they would also be destroyed by the home media after throwing away a position of strength with a raft of injudicious shots.
Yep, Bazball was about to get battered.
It was no surprise, then, that the West Australian group, which had called Ben Stokes “cocky”, Joe Root “average” and England’s approach “careless thrash batting” before a ball had been bowled, hammered the tourists’ Optus Stadium horror show.
The Sunday Times, previously the West Australian Sunday Times, said on its front page that Head’s ‘Travball’ had “turned the tables on the pathetic Poms”, with its back page stating that England had been “Pommelled” and “Bazballl flipped on its head”.
Elsewhere, Daniel Brettig in The Age said England batted like “lemmings” by driving on the up in their second innings, with Ollie Pope, Harry Brook and Joe Root all dismissed in that fashion as three wickets fell for no runs in six deliveries amid a collapse of 6-39.
Bretting called England’s batting “vibe-based” and added that Bazball “should share equal billing with Slow Horses for the most entertaining limited series to come out of the UK” in years. Ouch!
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Sky Sports’ Stuart Broad was left stunned as Mitchell Starc took Joe Root’s wicket during England’s day-two batting collapse. Pictures (@7Cricket)
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Sky Sports pundit Hussain looks at how England were Bazballed by Travis Head in Perth and how they will now be ‘hammered’ by the media
Plus, as cricket.com.au remarked that the tourists had gone from “Bazball-brilliant” on day one as their ferocious pace attack ripped through Australia to “boiled lollies” 24 hours later en route to a “humiliating defeat”, with Head’s Travball “pricking their pride”.
Boycott: I cannot take this team seriously
The UK media also got their flamethrowers out, mind you, with headlines in The Telegraph calling England “gutless” and “self-destructive” and saying their batting was an “affront to Test cricket”. The phrase “feeble surrender” was used by The Mail.
The Mail’s Lawrence Booth suggested Zak Crawley, who bagged the ninth pair by an England opener and first since Sky Sports’ Michael Atherton in 1999, should “have no more than one Test to save his career”, adding “many believe he’s lucky to have got this far”.
Crawley was twice out driving Mitchell Starc in the first over.
England’s Zak Crawley was twice out for nought in the Perth Test
We’ll leave the final say to Sir Geoffrey Boycott, never a man to mince his words, with the former England batter writing in The Telegraph that he “cannot take this team seriously” as they “keep throwing away Test matches by doing the same stupid things”.
“They never learn because they never listen to anyone outside their own bubble, because they truly believe their own publicity,” added an angry Boycott.
The swiftness of the game in Perth means England now have almost two weeks before they next face Australia in the day-night second Test in Brisbane from December 4.
They can probably expect further media maulings in that time.
Ashes series in Australia 2025-26
All times UK and Ireland
- First Test (Perth – November 21-25): Australia beat England by eight wickets
- Second Test (day/night): Thursday December 4 – Monday December 8 (4am) – The Gabba, Brisbane
- Third Test: Wednesday December 17 – Sunday December 21 (11.30pm) – Adelaide Oval
- Fourth Test: Thursday December 25 – Monday December 29 (11.30pm) – Melbourne Cricket Ground
- Fifth Test: Sunday January 4 – Thursday January 8 (11.30pm) – Sydney Cricket Ground
