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‘I’m a divorce expert – here’s 8 surprising ways to tell if your marriage is in trouble’

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Daily Mirror

Jennie Sutton is an award-winning divorce coach and founder of Untying the Knot. Here’s how to spot the signs your marriage is struggling – and some unexpected ways to heal

When I got married I was 24, it was a traditional church ceremony, I was in love and hopeful and excited about a long, happy future together. However, like many couples, the reality was very different to what I had imagined. As the years passed, I doubted myself more and more. As a lifelong people-pleaser, I did what many women do: I adapted, I rationalised and I tried “harder”.

My self-worth quietly deteriorated, and I learned to numb the discomfort through drinking a glass or two more than usual, rather than question what I was experiencing. But one night, as I was wiping down the kitchen surfaces a quiet inner voice said, “If you’re staying for others, it’ll slowly erode your wellbeing”. That was the moment that the penny dropped. Love, I learned, is not always enough to sustain a marriage and unhappiness on its own is a valid reason to leave.

READ MORE: Ghostlighting, lovebombing and bashing the ex – red flags to look out for in dating

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It’s something that Zoe Ball reflected on in the latest episode of her podcast with Jo Whiley, Dig it, in response to a listener’s question. Discussing the agonising period before she and her husband Norman Cook ended their marriage after 18 years, Zoe said, “You try everything and you think this is not working and then the anticipation of coming out with it and saying to your partner ‘this is the time’ is so scary because it’s overwhelming on all fronts.

“You’re worrying about your kids, you’re worrying about your partner and you’re worrying about you and how it will all work out. Something I can tell you from personal experience is that, yes, it is a lot to go through but you will come out the other side of it – and the fact that you know you need to do this you will all be better in the end. The kids will be fine, it’s amazing how resilient kids can be.”

Like Zoe, I’m now on the other side and in the past seven years since my marriage came to an end, I’ve created a new, single life for myself. And I’m now a divorce coach, using my experiences to help other women who’ve lost themselves in marriage. I help them recognise when their union is over and I also help guide them to get the help they need if their relationship can be revived. Here’s how to spot the signs your marriage is struggling – and some unexpected ways to heal and spark new life.

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You feel lonelier with them than on your own

Loneliness in a marriage feels like a room stripped bare – the walls are still there but the warmth, colour and vitality have faded. To reconnect with each other, discover each other’s love languages. This means that you might need physical touch to feel love, but your spouse might prefer words of affirmation (praise), or acts of service (a cup of tea in the morning).

How to heal: Even small, regular gestures, such as making a coffee the way your partner likes it, leaving a short note of appreciation, or taking five minutes to really listen, can restore intimacy. Over time, these micro-moments add up, transforming isolation into connection.

You can’t wait to spend time away from them

If being away without your spouse feels like a reset button for your nervous system and a few hours of pure “you”, this is a hint that both of you might need to rediscover your independence.

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How to heal: See alone time as a break from the stresses and strains that you carry together. And when you’re back together, share your solo experiences together. Start to discover each other as two full people, not two halves who might be suffocating each other.

You miss who you used to be

You may find that somewhere along the way, ‘you’ disappeared into ‘us’ along with your passions and solo adventures. But don’t forget that relationships thrive when both partners feel alive individually.

How to heal: Embrace your old passions, and find some new ones, whether it’s painting, acting, singing, reading, hiking or salsa dancing. Not only will you feel more alive, but your partner gets to see you as the whole person you’ve always been.

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You avoid talking about them with other people

When friends and family ask how your partner is, do you dodge the question? This might be because you’ve subconsciously deleted them from the conversation, sometimes out of fear, frustration or embarrassment. This habit can erode connection.

How to heal: Consider seeing a third party such as a coach, therapist or even a trusted friend who can try and understand why you’re doing this.

‘Fine’ is the answer to every question

Does your partner reply to every question about how they are with, ‘fine’? That word can mean an awful lot more than first appears including fear, boredom or disconnection.

How to heal: Tell your partner how it makes you feel: “When you say ‘fine’, I feel shut out. I want to know how you really are.” Use open questions such as, “what was the highlight of your day?” This gives your partner a chance to re-engage and is a reminder to both of you that communication is a shared responsibility.

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You already know how arguments will go

Arguments can fall into a familiar pattern where you speak, they deflect and you shrink. It can feel like the same old sequence, replayed like a scratched vinyl record.

How to heal: Break this cycle by creating a daily rewind – allow yourselves to have 15 minutes to chat about what went well, what could’ve gone better, and if you could have the row again, what would you change? Interactions like this increase connection. Over time, you might start to notice subtle shifts, for example, more willingness to explore each other’s perspective, and a sense that your partner is on the same page.

Your body always feels tense

Perhaps you always seem to have tight shoulders, clenched jaws and restless legs? These physical signs can often mirror tension in your relationship.

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How to heal: Take a physical approach with your partner – try touching each other, shared movement or even breathing in sync, all of which can release stress. Take time together, have a walk after dinner or even hold hands while listening to music. Small gestures like these can reset not only your body but also your emotional rhythm.

Your social world has reduced

Over the years, friends may fade and social circles tighten but don’t forget that fresh perspectives invigorate relationships. Consider encouraging new experiences, meeting new people and sharing what you learn, as they all add fuel to your relational fire.

How to heal: Attend a workshop, join a local club, or even host a dinner with a mix of old and new friends. You’ll find that different conversation with new ideas, fun debates and shared laughter can all inspire your relationship.

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*Jennie Sutton is an award-winning divorce coach and founder of Untying the Knot (untyingtheknot.me). She’s also a contributor to Emotional Alchemy: The True Stories of Turning Breakup and Divorce Pain into Power by Sara Davison, available at amazon.co.uk

READ MORE: MAFS expert issues Valentine’s Day warning with guaranteed way to mend relationship

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Households should dry clothes outside for 4 hours in spring

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Households should dry clothes outside for 4 hours in spring

This is due to potential issues with those who suffer from hay fever as more pollen gets released into the air.

It can cling to clothes when being dried outside, meaning it can then cause symptoms to occur later on for those who have the condition.

However, there are ways to minimise the amount of pollen that ends up on clothes, and that mainly comes through putting them out to dry at a specific time.

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When should you dry your clothes outside during spring?

Pollen is at its highest early morning and between 5pm and 8pm, according to NHS King’s College Hospital.

Therefore, drying your clothes in between those times, from 12pm to 4pm, will avoid the peak.

Emma Mannion, cleaning expert at Astonish, shared: “Pollen levels tend to peak in the morning as plants release it into the air, so if you put damp clothes out first thing, they act like a bit of a pollen magnet.

“Waiting until between 12pm and 4pm gives those levels time to drop off, meaning fewer particles cling to your laundry, and you’re less likely to be bringing allergens back into the house on your clothes.”

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Catherine Green, sustainable cleaning expert at smol, added: “Pollen counts tend to peak in the early morning and evening.

“Drying laundry around midday or early afternoon, when levels can briefly dip, can help reduce the amount that settles on fabrics.”

Dr. Roger Henderson, leading GP and spokesperson for Olbas, also backed this up.

He said: “Unfortunately, the best days to dry your washing outside are also often the days when pollen counts are high – when it’s dry and sunny!

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“If you have to dry clothes outside, peg them out between midday and 4 pm to try and keep the chances of pollen impacting them as low as possible.

“If you have bad hay fever, though, you may be forced to use your tumble dryer more than you might want to.”

While these tips can be useful to reduce the pollen count on clothes, it does not eliminate the risk entirely.

Noel Fok, indoor air quality expert and co-founder of EcoAir advocated for drying clothes indoors if possible.

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He said: “Whilst this might feel counterintuitive as the days get longer, temperatures rise, and we look to benefit from the fresh air and sunshine, whilst also reducing our reliance on energy consumption when drying clothes indoors, both pollen and pollution can be highly problematic for allergy sufferers.

“In urban areas the air will inevitably be carrying lots of pollutants – think roadworks, building works, traffic fumes, and even dust – which will firstly, contaminate freshly laundered clothing, bedding and towels, and secondly, exacerbate allergy symptoms as soon as we come into contact with them.

“Air quality will be cleaner in rural areas, but conversely, the pollen count is typically higher in the countryside thanks to the higher volumes of grass, weeds, trees and flowers.

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“And damp laundry is like a magnet for airborne pollen.”

Can pollen cause an issue for clothes?

Outside of potential issues for those who suffer from hay fever, pollen can impact some types of clothing, as Emma Woodrow, a buyer at Pour Moi, explained.


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She shared: “From a fabric perspective, the natural structure of our clothing can also be affected by pollen, as the particles can clog the fabric pores, making our garments less breathable, and potentially cause odours to linger for longer.

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“This is especially important for natural fibres such as cotton and linen, which are usually more porous and hydrophilic, meaning they can absorb and hold onto small, microscopic particles within their structure more easily.

“There are a few other tips to ensure your clothing is dried properly in the spring months, such as opting for days with a moderate breeze and temperatures over 12°C.”

When do you dry your clothes outside in spring? Let us know in the comments.

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‘True gentleman’ police officer killed while colleague in ‘critical condition’

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Cambridgeshire Live

His family described him as being “one of the finest young men ever to have walked this earth”

A police force has confirmed “with deep sadness” that a 27-year-old officer has died having suffered fatal injuries while responding to an emergency call.

Twenty-seven-year-old PC Bradley Corke passed away on Saturday (March 21), two days after the patrol car he was travelling in was involved in a serious collision. Kent Police announced his death while adding that his colleague remains in a critical condition in hospital following the incident.

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A member of the public in the second vehicle is also being treated for serious injuries. PC Corke “selflessly gave up his life while trying to save others”, the force described, also praising his courage, commitment and sense of duty.

“PC Corke served with the force since May 2022. He was based in Tonbridge and spent his police service in the towns of West Kent. The force is supporting his family and colleagues, who are devastated.”

Bradley’s family also paid tribute to their “beautiful boy” who was “cruelly taken away from us far too young”.

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“Bradley was one of the finest young men ever to have walked this earth. A credit to himself, to us as parents and to all his family and friends who loved him dearly,” the tribute said.

“He was proud to be PC Bradley Corke, and in turn we are proud of his dedication to the profession. We have been touched by the outpouring of love and affection from all who knew him.

“In particular, we have taken comfort from the kind words of those who he helped in his line of duty, supporting them in their hour of need. It comes as no surprise to us that so many had such a positive experience in his presence, because that’s just Brad – a true gentleman in every situation he encountered.

“Son, we are broken and will probably never recover from your loss, but we hope we can draw strength from all that you are and forever will be. We love you son, love you with every ounce of our being. Sleep tight our most beautiful boy.”

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Kent Police has urged anyone with information about the collision to come forward and help with its investigation.

“The incident, involving a marked Ford Focus police car and a VW Scirocco, happened on the westbound A20 London Road at the junction with Button Street, Farningham at approximately 7.45pm on Thursday 19 March,” the appeal said.

“Witnesses or anyone with dashcam footage should contact the Serious Collision Investigation Unit on 01622 798538, quoting EW/AL/025/26.

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“Alternatively, email sciu.td@kent.police.uk quoting. Dashcam footage can be uploaded here.”

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Belfast docks fire sees more than 40 firefighters battle ongoing blaze at waste site

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Belfast Live

Firefighters were called to the scene on Tuesday afternoon

Emergency services have been at the scene of an ongoing blaze in the docks area of Belfast on Tuesday, March 24.

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Firefighters were called to reports of a waste site fire in the Duncrue Street area at 4:06pm.

The NIFRS said it mobilised appliances from Whitla Fire Station, Westland Fire Station, Glengormley Fire Station, Central Fire Station, Knock Fire Station and specialist appliances a Turntable Ladder from Springfield Fire Station and Command Support Unit from Lisburn Fire Station.

More than 40 firefighters were in attendance to deal with this incident.

A NIFRS spokesperson said: “The incident was brought under control at 6:59pm and we are scaling back operations at the scene. The cause of the fire has been determined as accidental.

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“We would like to thank the public for their patience whilst we dealt with the incident.”

To ensure you don’t miss out on all the latest from Belfast Live, be sure to make us your preferred source on Google.

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Rumoured Celebrity Traitors lineup includes Stephen Graham

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Rumoured Celebrity Traitors lineup includes Stephen Graham

The official lineup has not been confirmed by the BBC yet, but you might wonder who could be part of it.

Presented by Claudia Winkleman, the celebrity version of the show was a hit with fans following the successful regular version of the show.

Celebrity Traitors’ rumoured lineup for series 2

Fans have shared who they think will be on series two of Celebrity Traitors as well as who they’d love to see on the show.

On Reddit, one said two British actors could be on the show: “I heard that Tom Hiddleston och Hugh Grant have expressed interest about playing.”

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This person suggested Benidorm star Steve Pemberton could be a good addition to the cast: “Steve Pemberton is rumoured, and he seems a natural Traitor.

“He’s smart enough that I think he can defend himself enough, and he’s so creative that he’d be so entertaining.

“He’s also smart enough to find the Traitors if he’s a faithful.


How The Traitors TV show works


“The bad thing is, he’s smart enough that others could think that, and if he’s NOT a Traitor, he could be banished early for that reason.”

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Adolescence star Stephen Graham is also rumoured to join the lineup, according to the Daily Mail.

The newspaper reports that an insider said the BBC is “absolutely desperate to nail down Stephen for the show” and that he would be a “star signing”.

Oasis singer Liam Gallagher reportedly hinted that he had been considered for the show, replying to a fan on X: “I’ve been asked.”

The Football Factory and EastEnders star Danny Dyer is also rumoured, with The Sun reporting that he is in the lineup after turning the offer down for the first series.

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5 iconic moments from series 1 of Celebrity Traitors


According to the newspaper, a source commented: “Danny was always top of The Celebrity Traitors wish list but had zero interest until seeing the fun and games last autumn.


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“As soon as his tune changed, it was all systems go.”

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Other celebrities rumoured to take part include Britain’s Got Talent judge Amanda Holden, comedian Daisy May Cooper and comedian Bob Mortimer.

A BBC spokesperson said: “We aren’t commenting on speculation and details for The Celebrity Traitors series two will be announced in due course.”

Who would you love to see take part in Celebrity Traitors? Let us know in the comments below.

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Brazil’s Bolsonaro allowed to serve 27-year sentence at home

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Brazil's Bolsonaro allowed to serve 27-year sentence at home

SAO PAULO (AP) — Brazil’s former President Jair Bolsonaro received permission Tuesday from a top Brazilian justice to serve his 27-year sentence for a coup attempt at home instead of in prison because of his failing health.

The decision by Supreme Court Justice Alexandre de Moraes followed Bolsonaro’s hospitalization since March 13 for pneumonia, one of several health problems the former leader has faced since he was stabbed by a man in 2018 before he was elected president.

Bolsonaro recently was put in intensive care for a few days because of kidney problems and other issues. His doctors did not say when he would leave the hospital in Brasilia, but his overall condition has improved.

The family of the right-wing leader had been requesting that the court send him home since he was convicted in November. Bolsonaro was transferred from the local federal police headquarters to a larger cell in January.

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On Monday, Brazil’s Attorney General Paulo Gonet paved the way for Bolsonaro to be put in house imprisonment instead of returning to prison.

Bolsonaro governed between 2019 and 2022. One of his sons, Sen. Flávio Bolsonaro, has said he will run for the presidency in October. Polls show he is in a dead heat with incumbent Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva.

Historically, Brazil’s Supreme Court only reverses house arrest only if a detainee’s health improves dramatically or if there’s violation of the established rules, such as not making public statements, posting on social media or giving interviews to the media.

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The world’s waste mountain is rising at an alarming rate

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The world’s waste mountain is rising at an alarming rate

The world is struggling to deal with ever-growing quantities of waste.

A new World Bank Group report, What a Waste 3.0, shows that more than 2.6 billion tonnes of municipal solid waste (which includes rubbish from households, businesses and street cleaning) were generated in 2022. That figure is projected to rise to 3.9 billion tonnes by 2050. The good news is that the share of waste that is mismanaged is expected to fall over that period, from around 30% to around 20%.

That sounds like progress. But percentages can be misleading. The quantity of mismanaged waste, including plastics, is projected to remain almost unchanged, at around 760 million tonnes. This means that by 2050, enormous quantities of waste will still be openly dumped, burned or otherwise unmanaged, with many households and communities left to deal with it themselves.

This new report, which we contributed to, brings together the most recent publicly accessible municipal waste data from 217 countries and economies (such as the Channel Islands) and 262 cities. It highlights that although waste systems are improving in many places, those gains are being undermined by the growth in the amount of waste generated.

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Business-as-usual scenario for global municipal solid waste treatment, disposal and uncollected waste.
Data from Ed Cook, Kremena Ionkova, Perinaz Bhada-Tata, Sonakshi Yadav, Frank Van Woerden. 2026. What a Waste 3.0: Global Snapshot of Solid Waste Management Toward Circularity until 2050. Urban Development Series. Washington, DC: World Bank., CC BY

This matters because when waste is not managed properly, the consequences affect human health, the environment and the economy. Poor waste management contributes to air and water pollution, damages ecosystems, increases greenhouse gas emissions and makes cities harder and less pleasant to live in.

One of the clearest examples is open burning. In many developing countries, where formal waste collection remains incomplete or absent, open burning is one of the main ways households and communities “self-manage” their waste. These fires burn at low and uneven temperatures. Combined with a mixed waste stream that can include plastics, organics and other materials, they release a complex cocktail of pollutants that can threaten the health of people living and working nearby.

With new data on self-management, this report shows how waste is actually managed across large parts of the world, especially where formal systems remain weak. Forms of self-management of waste include open dumping, open burning, burying waste in informal pits, dumping into waterways and coastal waters, and some forms of informal recovery such as recycling or composting.

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À lire aussi :
Health crisis: up to a billion tonnes of waste potentially burned in the open every year


So if the harms of poor waste management are well known, why does the problem persist?

One reason is cost. Municipal waste management is resource intensive. Many countries are still spending far less than is needed to provide universal and reliable services. Our analysis suggests that even basic systems involving collection, transport and disposal tend to cost at least US$40 (£30) to US$45 per tonne in low-income countries. In middle-income countries, basic systems cost roughly US$70 to US$80 per tonne, while in high-income countries costs can exceed US$200 per tonne.

At those cost levels, low-income countries would have needed around 0.78% of their combined GDP in 2022 to achieve universal waste management coverage. Middle-income countries would have needed roughly 0.31% to 0.46% of GDP. Yet reported public spending on solid waste management is less than 0.15% of GDP in about three-quarters of low- and middle-income countries and 0.31% in high income countries.

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That financing gap helps explain why waste collection is not comprehensively provided, why open dumping is still common and why so many people are left to manage waste themselves.

Open burning of mixed roadside waste beside an iron fence, with smoke drifting across a grassy area and trees.

Around 2 billion people do not have access to solid waste collection, meaning they have to manage it themselves, often through dumping and open burning, as in Nizamat Fort Campus, West Bengal in India.
Biswarup Ganguly, CC BY

The total financial costs are also rising fast. Globally, municipal waste management cost more than US$250 billion in 2022. Under a business-as-usual scenario, that annual cost is projected to reach US$426 billion by 2050.

Shifting the costs

The cost of inaction is higher than these service costs alone suggest. Poor waste management brings wider economic losses, for example through ill health, reduced land values, damaged ecosystems, lost materials and harm to sectors such as tourism, agriculture and fisheries.

The world may not be saving money by underinvesting in waste management. It is shifting the costs elsewhere – onto public health, the environment and future generations.

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À lire aussi :
Plastic pollution hotspots pinpointed in new research – India ranks top due to high levels of uncollected waste


This is especially important in low- and lower-middle-income countries, where waste generation is rising rapidly, but service coverage and infrastructure are often far below sufficient levels. This report estimates that these countries will require hundreds of billions of dollars in investment over the next 25 years just to expand and improve municipal waste systems. Without faster investment, existing service gaps will widen and the costs of inaction will grow.

The world’s waste crisis cannot be understood only as an environmental problem. It is also a financing, public health, governance and development problem. Better data helps us see that more clearly.

Waste management is improving, but not fast enough. Unless investment and performance accelerate, the amount of mismanaged waste worldwide is unlikely to change, causing harm to public health.

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Mohamed Salah reaches agreement to leave Liverpool FC at the end of the season

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Mohamed Salah reaches agreement to leave Liverpool FC at the end of the season

“Signed from AS Roma in the summer of 2017, the No.11 has firmly established himself as one of the greatest players in Liverpool’s history, helping the club to two Premier League titles, the Champions League, FIFA Club World Cup, UEFA Super Cup, FA Cup and two League Cups, as well as an FA Community Shield.

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Barry Hearn: Why uniquely sentimental Crucible decision was not unanimous

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Barry Hearn: Why uniquely sentimental Crucible decision was not unanimous
Matchroom Sport president Barry Hearn says sentiment played a part in the new Crucible agreement (Picture: Getty Images for Sky Creative Brand )

Barry Hearn says the decision for the World Snooker Championship to stay at the Crucible until 2045 was uniquely sentimental in his career and did come with a dissenting voice.

The tournament has been held at the Sheffield theatre since 1977 and the previous contract was due to expire in 2027, until a huge new agreement was reached between World Snooker Tour and Sheffield City Council.

There will now be £45m spent on the Crucible, which will see the venue renovated and expanded to around 1,500 seats, from its current capacity of just under 1,000.

The work will take around 18 months and start in the summer of 2028, meaning the 2029 and possibly 2030 editions will be held elsewhere, before returning to a revamped Crucible until 2045, with an option to extend to 2050.

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While negotiations were ongoing, Matchroom Sport president Hearn talked up the possibilities of moving abroad to vast arenas, with the potential of huge investment from the Middle East or China.

Instead the tournament remains in the iconic, historic venue, which will be bigger and better than ever when the work is complete.

The 77-year-old admits feelings, and not just cold hard cash, played a part in the decision-making, having made his great career breakthrough in the venue as Steve Davis’ manager when the Nugget won the 1981 World Championship.

How the new Crucible design is expected to look

Asked if sentiment had ever played such a part in a big deal before, he said: ‘No, never, never.

‘The reason for that being my life changed in 1981 when [Steve] Davis won the world title. Matchroom was a £100 company. It was formed in 1982 on the back of a Crucible win. Suddenly I had someone to promote. He was a world champion.

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‘Matchroom is now the biggest sports promotion company in the world. It all started with the Crucible, really.

‘So that’s where sentiment – mind you, I’m still a hard-nosed bastard. I want my pound of flesh out of everybody – but there’s certain things where you’d hate yourself for doing it.’

He added: ‘The Crucible has grown with us as Matchroom has become a global force, we did so on the back of the Crucible roots and we would have felt like we’d lost an arm had we not stayed here.’

There were lengthy negotiations over the extension of the tournament’s stay in Sheffield, with the significant investment in redevelopment coming from local and national government funding, along with money from the private sector

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‘It was a good fight. At the end of the 12 rounds, the judges said it was a draw,’ Hearn said of the discussions. ‘And that’s not a bad result. We gave each other a hug: snooker, Sheffield Council, even the government. I never say anything nice about politicians, but well done to them.

‘They put their money where their mouth is, and they’ve managed to make this place fit for purpose.’

Tuesday’s announcement felt like a tremendously positive one for snooker and for Sheffield, but Hearn admits not everyone was in agreement to stay at the Crucible, notably his son Eddie, who is now chairman of Matchroom Sport.

Asked if there was anyone fighting against his sentiment, he said: ‘Oh yeah, there are. I wouldn’t say it was unanimous.

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‘Eddie’s not a snooker fan. He likes the business of sport. So therefore he likes snooker because it’s a good company for us. But he doesn’t have the same passion. He wasn’t there.

Andy Ruiz Jr v Anthony Joshua 2 - Clash on the Dunes, IBF, WBA, WBO & IBO World Heavyweight Title Fight
Eddie Hearn has enjoyed immense success in boxing, with the likes of Anthony Joshua (Picture: Getty Images)

‘That’s why he’s so passionate about boxing, because a lot of these big memories have made his career where he is. Whether it’s A.J. against Klitschko. That changed his life.

‘Eddie likes snooker, but he’s from a generation that moves at more speed than snooker does. That’s a good way to describe it.

‘He doesn’t actually appreciate the Agatha Christie side. Where you don’t find who does it until the final chapter. It builds to that moment.

‘Until you’ve actually experienced the building of that, you’re not really qualified to say, and he hasn’t experienced that.’

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Mohamed Salah: Liverpool forward to leave at end of season

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Liverpool forward Mohamed Salah has announced he will leave the club at the end of the season.

The 33-year-old Egypt international, who joined Liverpool from Roma in June 2017, confirmed the news via a video message on his social media accounts.

“Unfortunately the day has come. This is the first part of my farewell,” Salah said.

“I will be leaving Liverpool at the end of the season.”

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March 25 was the start of the year in England and Wales until 1752

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March 25 was the start of the year in England and Wales until 1752

We associate New Year with deep mid-winter and the tidy date of January 1, but for 600 years between 1155 until 1752 in England and Wales the new year began on 25 March. This day was one of the quarter days that divided the year historically and on which rents and debts were settled. March 25 became the quarter day where annual accounts were finalised. So, around about now, we’d have been preparing to welcome in a new year alongside the warmer weather and spring blooms.

Celebrations were double as the legal and ecclesiastical calendar worked in harmony as March 25 is also Lady Day or the Feast of the Annunciation. Falling exactly nine months before Christmas Day, for Christians it marks when the archangel Gabriel informed Mary that she was shortly to bear a son.

Feast days are normally days of indulgence and merrymaking, but Lady Day normally falls in Lent, a time of abstinence. This meant, for some, Lady Day was a temporary lightening of Lenten restrictions.

Also known as Annunciation Day, Lady Day has sometimes fallen on Good Friday, as it did in 1608. This day is the opposite of a feast day, marking the crucifixion and death of Christ, which is observed through fasting and abstinence. The poet John Donne reflected on this crossover in 1608 in Upon the Annunciation where he saw it as an opportunity to be extra pious:

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“Tamely, frail body, abstain today;
today My soul eats twice,
Christ hither and away”

So for Donne, this was a day of fasting and reflection to commemorate both the coming of Christ and his death.

Superstitions

Lady Day has many associated superstitions. An anonymous pamphlet printed in 1721 called When my Lord Falls in my Lady’s Lap, England Beware of a Great Mishap takes its title from an old saying that means that it is unlucky when Lady Day falls on or near Easter Sunday. The author proceeds to run through the many calamities that have happened on such inauspicious occasions.

Annunciation by Leonardo da Vinci.
Wikimedia

For instance, it tells of how in 1117 the heir to Henry I, William Adelin was drowned in the sinking of the White Ship along with 300 other souls. The author hasn’t got their facts quite straight here as this disaster happened in November 1120. By Victorian times, this superstition about Lady’s day falling near Easter Sunday was considered old fashioned with The Hampshire Advertiser describing it as a “former ill omen” in its 21 March 1846 edition.

Customs

Lady’s Day is still celebrated in some parts of the UK. In Hampshire, The Tichborne Dole on Lady’s Day dates back to around 1150. Mabella (or Isabella), Lady de Tichborne of Alresford, made a deathbed request that an annual donation of bread, baked with grains from her lands, be made in her memory to the parish poor.

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Her rather less charitably minded husband, Sir Roger, agreed on condition that his benevolence was limited to crops from just the land that she could walk around while carrying a single burning log from the fire. According to the legend, the dying Mabella crawled her way around some 23 acres before the flame went out. This area is still known as “The Crawls”.

The Tichborne Dole (1671) by Gillis van Tilborgh
The Tichborne Dole (1671) by Gillis van Tilborgh.
Wikimedia

It’s said Mabella left a curse on the house that if ever the dole was stopped the family line would die out. Specifically, she vowed that a generation of seven sons would be followed by a generation of seven daughters. The dole continued uninterrupted until 1794 and it would seem that Mabella’s curse came to pass when the last male Tichborne had a family of seven daughters. And so, the custom was reinstated.

A film, The Tichborne Curse, was released in 1947. The reinstated Dole is still taking place today. Adults from the parishes of Tichborne and Cheriton are entitled to claim one gallon (2kg) of flour, and children half a gallon each.

Always in April

The dating system in the US, Britain and Ireland changed in 1752 when these countries adopted the Gregorian calendar. Then the legal New Year in these countries became the same as it had been in Scotland for the last century and a half: January 1.

However, it wasn’t just the year start that needed adjusting, as the new calendar was now out by several days. This meant that in England, 11 days were “lost” as Wednesday September 2 1752 was followed by Thursday September 14 1752 in order to right things. The jump must have been very disconcerting if we consider how much the clocks going forward an hour throws us out for a while.

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In Britain, the legacy of the old-style dating system lives on in our tax system. Where the new tax year was March 25 (the old New Year) it was moved to April 5, and later to April 6, due to the leapfrog in dates 1752.

This day became Old Lady Day. April 6 day now stood in for the financial aspects of the quarter day, which meant this was the date in which new leases on farms and land began and often farm labouring families moved into new tied housing on that day as they signed new year long contracts. Author Thomas Hardy includes this in his 1891 novel Tess of the d’Urbervilles. Tess is hired on a farm upon “her agreeing to remain till Old Lady-Day”.

So March 25 may be a day that for most goes by with little notice now but it was once a major holiday that marked the beginning of the new year.

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