You didn’t know you needed Auf Wiedersehn Mallorca, a 1976 multi-lingual holiday hits complication complete with frollicking fraulein, until you see it poking from a pile of old vinyl at Dundrum car boot sale.
A discreet once-over, don’t look to keen. “Much?” “A pound, they were my mother-in-law’s records” Done. Where you gonna get anything for a pound much less a musical masterpiece from the early days of mass tourism?
This is what markets used to be like – older generations still have PTSD from being dragged as children around the old St George’s in Belfast which was once a dark and dank midden of fishmongers, fruit and veg, junk and bric-a-brac. Now it’s mostly hipsters and cruise ship tourists. But Dundrum car boot is a glorious riot of sights and sounds held most Sundays in the grounds of Dundrum GAC on the Newcastle Road in Dundrum Co Down.
My unofficial guide for the day, who would only give his name as Eddie, met me at the pitch gates bright and early at 8am a few Sundays ago. “You need to be the early bird or the best stuff goes quick, and if you like it buy it ‘cos some other git will swoop in behind you and have it”. Wise words we can all live by.
Eddie is a rummager by nature and mapped out our route through the tangle of stalls, cars, trestle tables and heaped flotsam and jetsam. Handshakes were fired his way from the regulars. I think I dislocated a wee finger getting a rigorous handshake from Big McAllister The Master Angler. Two mitts like sledgehammers. Eddie also pointed out some other characters, Ruta The Florist, The Crafty Cockney, The Veg Man, The Dogfood man, The Signs Man. There was a slight theme to the monikers I noticed.
A slow start, due to the handshakes, but soon we were away. But Eddie pulled me to one side for a whispered debrief and he had one final bit of local lore to share. Apparently. Now, apparently, a modern masterpiece was found at Dundrum and made its way to an auction in New York where it was valued at a potential $6million.
The story goes that a small Edward Hopper (1882-1967) original entitled The Study of High Noon was unearthed here in 2007 for buttons, posted on ebay for $580 and was soon recognised as the real deal and sold for millions. I got stuck right in to the bargain hunting with a renewed vigour.
And what was my first buy, a £5 ornamental concrete skull. Why? Why not. Have you a £5 ornamental concrete skull?
With the heady scent of victory in my nostrils – that might be the burgers and onions being fired up at the fantastic chip hut actually – I move on slowly and methodically to my next purchases. I’m in a flow state now and my eye has settled in to sort the tat from even more tat.
After Mallorca, comes a souvenir medal all the way from Paris with Napoleon himself on it. What the little Corsican corporal would make of Bruce Springsteen Born In the USA or 20 Buzzin Tracks (Energy Rush II) on cassette is anyone’s guess (the two for £2). I think he was a CD man myself.
Ed tells me these came from The House Clearance Man’s stall. And once you took in the contents of the tables it became clear someone’s old life or home was laid out for sale. The cassettes were in an old black plastic carry case/sorter. The type once seen in every ‘good’ room or teenager’s bedroom. in the 80s and early 90s. There was clothes, ornaments, kitchen utensils, tools, tool box. There was even a GCSE Art sketch pad filled with paintings, doodles and portraits of faces long changed. Not worth Edward Hopper’s $6million but once priceless.
And there lies the beauty of a good car boot, all humanity is here. Warts and all. Speaking of warts my final buy was a bit warty. A cry from one of the vendors went up: “Three pigs’ ears for two poun’.” Stopped in my tracks.
Now I know pigs don’t have three ears naturally so I guessed these were loose. And like a grim Woolworth’s pick’n’mix three choice dried slithers of hide from The Butcher were selected and bagged up for my dog to chew on.
With a short drive to Belfast looming we retired to the highly-recommended Frenchs Cafe & Bistro for a restoring fry and cup of tea where Eddie cast a dismayed eye over my purchases before I headed home to sort out my loot.
Just need a record and cassette player now – will be back next Sunday.
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