Entertainment
Extremely R-Rated Sci-Fi Thriller Is The Unhinged Mad Max Movie You Never Heard Of
By Robert Scucci
| Published

Ever since George Miller gave us the first Mad Max movie in 1979, moviegoers have been assaulted with cheap imitations, some of which are actually quite good. 1986’s Dead End Drive-In is a superb example of how a society in decline manages to operate before everything totally collapses. It exists in an early state of decay, showing how the powers that be still struggle to keep the common citizen under their thumbs, while the common citizen tries to navigate a bleak future looming over the horizon. More often, though, we get films like 1985’s Wheels of Fire, which might as well be called The Road Warrior, But Not As Cool.
In this film, we’re already occupying the wasteland, resources are scarce, and it’s every man for himself. There are trucks and explosions, and a rag-tag group of miscreants trying to fight off evil militias, with their only hope being to live another day before figuring out where they’re going to scavenge next. It’s a fun, action thriller B-movie, but most of the excitement I felt while watching it was over how awesome it’s going to be the next time I watch a Mad Max film. I’m way overdue to revisit Fury Road, and I have Wheels of Fire to thank for making me realize that.
The Ownership, True Believers, Rebel Gangs, And Lots Of Stuff Blowing Up

Wheels of Fire follows the adventures of Trace (Gary Watkins), a former member of a militia known as The Ownership. The Ownership’s entire reason for being is to establish stable communities where people can start rebuilding peacefully. Scavenging along with Trace is his sister, Arlie (Lynda Wiesmeier), and her boyfriend, Bo (Steve Parvin), but the group quickly gets broken up by a warlord named Scourge, who captures and enslaves Arlie, while Bo falls in with his gang.
Along the way, Trace befriends a lone mercenary named Stinger (Laura Banks), and the two cross paths with a group of Sand People and a psychic named Spike (Linda Grovenor), only to run into another community known as the True Believers. Scourge, who simply wants to rule over everybody, is hellbent on destroying both The Ownership and the True Believers if it means he gets to be the ruler of the wasteland. Lots of stuff blows up, everybody’s wearing leather in the desert, and you can only imagine just how bad everybody smells in this context.
A Quick And Fun Imitation

While I give credit to Wheels of Fire for having fun with a formula that was already perfected with 1981’s The Road Warrior, it’s also all over the place, and undermines its own adventure by trying to cram so much lore into such a short run time. The entire movie clocks in at 81 minutes, and just when you think things are getting going, the credits are already rolling. It’s one of those “drive off into the sunset” kind of movies, as it’s pretty obvious that nobody’s situation is going to improve overnight, and there’s still a long road ahead. In order for that to work, though, a film like Wheels of Fire has to be good enough to warrant a sequel that allows for that lore to properly build out.
Instead, we have a bunch of wasteland renegades on the adventure of a lifetime, but there’s such a lack of charisma that nobody seems like they want to be there at all. Even when the film was at its most intense, I kept thinking to myself, “Man, if I were there, I’d go out in an epic blaze of glory unlike these clowns.” The most we get here is some yelling and a bunch of marauders sauntering around the desert haphazardly, simply going where the screenplay tells them to walk.

Still, Wheels of Fire is such a low-stakes film that any fan of that dusty and crusty Mad Max flavoring will find enjoyment in its aesthetic because you really can’t go wrong with it, which is why we’re still silently holding out hope for another Mad Max movie that we’ll probably never get. Though there are murmurs of a TV series in development, so never say never.

As of this writing, you can stream Wheels of Fire for free on Tubi.
Entertainment
“Survivor Greece” suspended after contestant loses part of leg while spearfishing
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Stavros Floros, a 21-year-old beekeeper, was struck by the propeller of a tourist boat during a break from filming.
Entertainment
Why Sleep Tourism Is One of 2026’s Biggest Travel Trends
Sleep tourism is shaping up to be one of the biggest travel trends for 2026, with hotels, wellness resorts and even medical-led retreats building entire vacations around one goal: better rest.
Instead of packed itineraries and nonstop sightseeing, travelers are booking sleep-focused stays with smart beds, blackout rooms, spa treatments and personalized wellness programs. Here’s what sleep tourism actually involves, why demand is growing so quickly and how to create a similar sleep retreat experience at home.
What Is Sleep Tourism?
Sleep tourism is a category of travel built around improving rest as the main purpose of the trip, rather than fitting sleep in around a packed itinerary. Hotels and wellness resorts are creating retreats with smart beds, blackout rooms, recovery treatments, sleep coaching and wellness programs aimed at improving sleep quality and overall well-being.
The trend goes well beyond luxury bedding or a pillow menu at check-in. It focuses on creating an environment where rest is the destination — whether through week-long wellness retreats, medical-led stays that diagnose sleep issues, or shorter hotel packages built around spa treatments and circadian rhythm support. Properties are also bringing in outside specialists to lead programming, including sleep and dream expert Charlie Morley, who has partnered with hotels such as Nômade in Tulum and Kimpton Fitzroy London.
Morley told National Geographic that the shift reflects how travelers are starting to think about their health. “People have long been looking at their diet and physical health via fitness, but the next chapter is sleep,” he said. “Hotels have realised that people are using these trips, where they’re away from work or their children, as a chance to really prioritise good sleep.”
Expert-led approaches are being adopted around the world, with sleep specialists being brought in to enhance in-house wellbeing programs. Morley also predicted that technology will play a bigger role going forward.
“The gamification of sleep will continue to grow and this will be maximised by the travel industry with innovations like smart beds. These types of bed will be able to measure the quality of your sleep, allowing you to see what tools or techniques work for you,” he told National Geographic. “Soon, hotels really will be able to back up their claims of offering a great night’s sleep with some pretty solid data.”
Why Is Sleep Tourism Trending In 2026?
Sleep tourism is surging because Americans are sleeping badly, stressed out and increasingly willing to pay for solutions — and the numbers behind the trend are striking. A 2024 report by HTF Market Intelligence found the global sleep tourism sector is worth more than $690 billion and is projected to grow by another $400 billion between 2024 and 2028.
The demand reflects a broader sleep problem in the United States. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 36 percent of Americans are getting insufficient sleep. A Gallup survey also points to rising stress levels, with about half of people reporting stress and sleep problems.
The National Sleep Foundation’s 2025 Sleep in America Poll found that six in 10 adults do not get the recommended seven to nine hours of quality sleep each night. Nearly four in 10 struggle to fall asleep at least three nights a week, and almost half wake up often during the night.
The same NSF study found that adults with good sleep satisfaction are nearly twice as likely to flourish in life compared to those dissatisfied with their sleep. That gap is fueling the wellness travel boom.
“Poor sleep health is a major risk factor for lower well-being across multiple areas of life,” said Dr. Joseph Dzierzewski, the NSF’s senior vice president of research. “Prioritizing sleep health can improve mental health, workplace efficiency, and stronger personal relationships.”
John Lopos, CEO of the foundation, framed the stakes even more broadly. “Sleep is fundamental to thriving across many aspects of life,” he said. “These results reinforce how crucial positive sleep health is to basic achievements that go beyond physical health.”
Combine the deficit, the data and the dollars, and 2026 is shaping up as the year sleep moves from a wellness afterthought to the core reason people book a trip.
How Can You Do a Sleep Tourism Staycation at Home?
Not everyone needs to travel to a destination resort to get the benefits of sleep tourism. Many of the same principles can be applied at home through a DIY sleep staycation built around an upgraded bedroom and a few intentional days of rest.
The starting point is treating your bedroom like a hotel environment. That means upgrading sheets, improving soundproofing, installing blackout shades and finding the right mattress and pillow for your sleep style. Small environmental changes — light, sound, temperature, bedding — do much of the heavy lifting that high-end sleep retreats rely on.
From there, the second piece is carving out the time. People can set aside a long weekend or a few days off work to focus entirely on rest and relaxation, rather than squeezing recovery in between obligations. The point is to step out of normal routines, reduce screen time and create a space that feels restorative rather than rushed.
Popular sleep-focused activities for a staycation include:
- Evening yoga and meditation before bed
- Relaxing baths and spa-style facials
- Sound baths with white, pink or brown noise
Whether the trip is to a luxury resort with a sleep coach on staff or just a reset in your own bedroom, the core idea of sleep tourism is the same: making quality rest the main destination, not a side effect of the vacation.
Entertainment
Stephen Colbert says he and “Late Show” staff 'all have to be out' immediately after final show: 'I'm already packed'
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“We gotta get our s— out of here. No one’s got a job after that night,” Colbert said.
Entertainment
Dorit Kemsley’s Estranged Husband Drives Into New Drama
As if the divorce saga is not enough, Dorit Kemsley‘s estranged husband has driven into another drama.
As Paul Kemsley continues to fight his way through his split from the reality star, the businessman was recently caught causing mild damage to his neighbor’s property and carrying on almost unbothered.
Dorit Kemsley and Paul Kemsley’s ongoing divorce has been laced with several dramas, including reports of him defaulting on mortgage payments on their $6 million mansion.

Paul was spotted on Tuesday, May 12, moving his expensive Range Rover out into the street, but the plans changed midway, and he rammed into a Toyota RAV4, which his neighbor’s caregiver reportedly owned.
The entrepreneur was spotted zooming off with a noticeable dent in his car, and when he returned, he did not pay any attention to the other car either; he strolled into the building.
He, however, addressed TMZ briefly about the incident, stressing that he miscalculated by initially thinking his New Range Rover had braked for him. To his surprise, he noticed the brief contact with the Toyota left the “world’s tiniest mark” on his car.
Paul added that he actually went over to the affected person and apologized, alongside an offer to pay for the fix. In his words:
“Entirely my fault. Although, in fairness, trying to reverse while subconsciously searching for paparazzi hiding in bushes is probably not recommended by Land Rover.”
Paul Kemsley Is Looking Forward To A New Horizon After His Divorce

The property developer has credited their decision to appear on Bravo’s franchise as the catalyst for their marital issues. As shared by The Blast, Paul admitted that he and Dorit internalized some of the wrong narratives being fueled by producers of “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” about their marriage.
Now that the chapter is closed, Paul expressed that he is looking forward to moving on from such a low moment in his life. Most importantly for him, his entire life is not defined by carefully edited snippets on a show by ratings-centered producers.
Paul added that the reason why he avoided addressing Dorit’s stories about the reason for their separation and divorce on the show was to shield their children from unhealthy drama. According to him: “I wouldn’t have encouraged it, and I would have strongly recommended — in any capacity, my capacity as a manager, as a business guy, father and husband — if I’d have had somebody who would listen, I’d say, ‘That is the wrong thing to do.’”
Dorit Kemsley And Her Estranged Husband Are At War Over Child Custody

The Bravo star and her former partner locked horns in court over the custody of their children as the reality star gunned for sole legal and physical custody.
Paul instantly kicked back, gunning for joint custody as a healthier option and insisting that his estranged wife does not have to pay him spousal support.
Insiders have noted that Dorit’s pursuit for sole custody may have been linked to concerns over the property developer’s relationship with alcohol.
As for the reality star, she is laser-focused on ensuring her kids’ happiness through it all and becoming a better version of herself.
Paul came clean about battling alcoholism in the past, admitting that it played a role in his failed marriage, but Dorit also saw it as an avenue to weaponize his nightmare with alcohol.
The property developer continued that Dorit intended to use his struggle as a means to score cheap points while ignoring all his efforts to stay sober.
Dorit Turned Down Paul’s Generous Offer

Last week, The Blast shared that Dorit issued a response to her estranged husband’s offer that his home could serve as a solace for the reality star and their two children.
According to the Bravo star, that offer was dead on arrival because in her wildest dream, she would not have done that.
Paul revealed that he had moved out of their former shared home with plans to sell it off before it gets foreclosed.
The sprawling mansion located in Encino, California, features six bedrooms, 10 bathrooms, and covers nearly 9,000 square feet, but is unfortunately burdened by a significant debt.
The property developer has accused his estranged wife of refusing to cooperate in negotiations surrounding the property.
He continued that she has been erratic, confrontational, and evasive with communications in the process. He has now approached the court to sign off on an immediate sale of the home to protect whatever equity remains.
Currently, the home carries roughly $6 million in mortgage debt, making the family’s financial situation extremely dire.
Is Dorit Kemsley Weaponizing Her Kids?

The estranged couple’s divorce drama took another dramatic turn when Paul claimed she was trying to cleverly extract money for a getaway from him by sending one of their kids to make the request.
In his filing, Paul stressed that their children have come to him for money in order to book and pay the bills for their vacation.
“While I was attempting to address financial issues with [Dorit], she enlisted our [kid] to send text messages to me requesting money for Dorit’s personal expenses, including a trip she wanted to take with the children,” Paul declared.
In the evidence shared by Paul, which was screenshots of his conversation with their child, he was seen engaging in a witty back-and-forth with the kid, seemingly uncovering whatever grand scheme was created to collect funds from him.
Entertainment
Fans Think She Gave Birth After Viral Rocking Chair Video
Roomies, the internet thinks Big Mama has officially entered motherhood after a viral video showed her sitting in a rocking chair while celebrating Mother’s Day. Latto honored new and expecting moms with her first annual Big Mama Day celebration, gifting more than 150 mommies some special items. In a video shared on her Win Some Give Some Foundation’s social media page, Latto looked relaxed and cozy in a chair, and now fans are speculating that she has welcomed her first child.
RELATED: Latto Reflects On Accidentally Revealing Her Pregnancy In Viral Post Ahead Of ‘Business & Personal’ Video Release (WATCH)
Latto Sparks Birth Speculation During Mother’s Day Celebration
In a now-viral video, Latto wished expecting moms and new moms a Happy Mother’s Day while her foundation celebrated its first annual Big Mama Day. Fans instantly jumped into detective mode after spotting her sitting in a rocking chair in the clip. Some folks even pointed out that her calling it her “first Mother’s Day” basically gave away that she officially entered her mommy era. Meanwhile, others swore they could hear sweet little baby coos in the background. Peep the video below.
Social Media Is Convinced Latto Already Entered Her Mommy Era
Latto’s Win Some Give Some Foundation’s comment section was flooded with reactions from fans. Plenty of folks said they just know her baby is here because Big Mama was definitely giving new mom energy,
Instagram user @thee_original_smiley wrote, “The baby is here!! I hear the little baby sounds. ❤️❤️ congratulations! Especially the ‘it’s my first mother’s days.’”
Instagram user @_chynese_ wrote, “She in a rocking chair sounding exhausted she definitely had her baby 😍”
While Instagram user @prettyboiimikey.__ wrote, “BIG MAMA DONE GAVE BIRTHHH🥹❤️ !!! Omggggg !!! Im so emotionalll.”
Then Instagram user @fineassjayluh wrote, “she had that baby she been too MIA and that belly was large 😂”
Another Instagram user @prettyricantx wrote, “Oh baby our little baby has been born , I know I see you Ina rocking chair and I know what I heard 🥹🥹🥹🥰🙏🏽”
Instagram user @kewlgurlkellz wrote, “Thought Y’all Were Being Delulu At First But I Definitely Heard The Baby Too Awww 😭”
While another Instagram user @emilynkohara wrote, “I knew she already had her baby 😭😭 I already know she’s going to be the best mommy to her baby 🤍”
Then another Instagram user @amor_bella_ wrote, “The baby is definitely here 😍”
Finally, Instagram user @___.soblessed.___ wrote, “We know that rock baby is here.”
Big Mama Previously Flexed Her Baby’s Fly Drip
Although Latto hasn’t shared too many details about her pregnancy, she did give fans a peek at their drip and special gifts from her famous aunties and uncles. Back in April, the rapper shared a video showing all the sweet gifts she received from close friends like Flo Milli, Sexyy Red, G Herbo, T.I. and Tiny Harris, Usher and his wife, Jennifer Goicoechea, and Angel Reese. Listen, they did NOT play about her mini-me one bit. As Latto said herself, they came “overly loaded” with designer items, icy jewelry and toys for her little one.
RELATED: Oop! Social Media Thinks 21 Savage Responded To GloRilla’s Sister After She Made Claims About Latto’s Pregnancy (PHOTO)
What Do You Think Roomies?
Entertainment
Sydney Sweeney Is Being Deliberately Destroyed
By Chris Snellgrove
| Published

Euphoria, the HBO teen drama, has been responsible for launching some pretty big careers. Without this show, Zendaya probably wouldn’t be a beloved Marvel movie star, and Jacob Elordi wouldn’t be an Oscar-nominated horror icon. Of course, the breakout Euphoria star the internet loves the most is Sydney Sweeney, someone whose buxom beauty has made her the internet’s favorite fantasy lady. Unfortunately for this blonde bombshell, the show that helped make her career is now trying to break her career in the most humiliating possible way.
Her Euphoria character, Cassie, has a current story arc where she makes money on OnlyFans. That’s not so crazy on paper. Every day, more young, well-endowed women are using this platform to make cold, hard cash. But this plotline is just a thinly veiled excuse to put her into a number of strange situations that seem like the barely concealed fetishes of the showrunner. As degrading clips from Euphoria continue to go viral, we are left with only one conclusion: Sam Levinson is deliberately using his hit TV show to humiliate Sydney Sweeney.
Down, Girl

Since you’re probably not watching Euphoria, here’s a quick breakdown of what’s been happening to Sydney Sweeney’s character, Cassie. In short, she is trying to pay for her expensive wedding to Jacob Elordi’s character (Nate), so she turns to OnlyFans as a way to raise the $50,000 she needs.
With the help of former friend turned current manager, she begins carving out some weird, kinky niches for herself on OF. This includes dressing and acting like a dog and dressing and acting like a baby. Recently, she even acted like a giant, complete with a scene of her stomping all over town, Godzilla style.

Even if you’ve never watched Euphoria, you’ve probably seen some of the viral images, GIFs, and memes centered on her character and asked, “What in God’s name is Sydney Sweeney doing?” The simple answer is that she’s doing whatever she is told. She doesn’t write the scripts or choose her character’s arc. Instead, the actor must obey Sam Levinson, the acclaimed showrunner of Euphoria.
Why is Levinson making his hottest actor do all of this crazy stuff, though? My pet theory (unlike Sweeney, it doesn’t have ears or a tail) is that he is doing so to humiliate her, effectively flooding the internet with degrading images of her.
I Kink, Therefore I Am

All of these bizarre things Sydney Sweeney is doing as part of her OnlyFans character arc correspond to very specific kinks. Dressing and acting like a dog is part of pet play, where a submissive acts like an animal and a dominant pretends to own them. Dressing like a baby is part of infantilization. Even her recent, kaiju-style hijinks correspond to a giantess kink (also known as macrophilia), in which Titan-sized women tease, overpower, crush, and even kill submissive, standard-sized men.
Now, I’m not here to kinkshame anyone. There’s no problem if you’re into any of the stuff that Sweeney is doing on Euphoria, and you’re probably really digging seeing clips of the world’s hottest leading lady making niche content for mainstream television.
For Sweeney, though, that’s the real problem. Scenes and images of what she is doing on Euphoria keep getting shared, without context, online. When normies search “Sydney Sweeney” on the internet, these images are some of the first things they see. Meanwhile, when kinksters search for things like “pet play” or “giantess,” you guessed it … these images are some of the first things they see!
Feeling Like A Freak On A Leash

Again, there’s nothing wrong with any of this, but mainstream audiences generally find the things Sweeney is doing on Euphoria now to be weird and degrading. By making her do one weird thing after another, Sam Levinson has consistently humiliated Sydney Sweeney, associating her acting (possibly permanently) with degrading things.
That would be bad enough for any young actor, but it’s particularly bad for Sweeney, someone who (through movies like Christy) is fervently trying to be seen as a serious actress and not just a body. Unfortunately, her name is now synonymous with some of the wildest acts this side of Eyes Wide Shut.

Obviously, there’s no proof that this is Levinson’s intent. But it’s worth noting that some of the stuff (like her acting like a baby) is strictly forbidden by OnlyFans in real-life, so none of this adds to the verisimilitude of the plot. All it does is drag down a rising star in a kind of bizarre humiliation ritual that does very little but objectify her in front of increasingly horny audiences. If Sweeney isn’t down with things like onscreen pet play in Euphoria, then all of this is just weird and degrading. If she is into it, though, then there’s not much left to say.
Except, of course: “Who’s a good girl? You’re a good girl!”
Entertainment
33 Years Later, Sylvester Stallone’s 112-Minute Action Movie Is Still His Biggest Risk
Decades before becoming the schlockmaster behind movies like 2026’s Deep Water, Renny Harlin crafted many of the great works of 1990s action filmmaking. Besides Die Hard 2, the Finnish filmmaker also directed the amnesiac spy classic The Long Kiss Goodnight and the genre-killing Cutthroat Island, but his finest work was 1993’s Cliffhanger. A Sylvester Stallone vehicle set among the mountains, Cliffhanger had everything: magnificent vistas, avalanches, and an internationally organized theft of U.S. Treasury bonds during a Dark Knight Rises-esque plane hijacking. Cliffhanger might be “Die Hard in the mountains,” but Harlin got the most from the setting and its star.
Compared to Die Hard’s famously vulnerable portrayal of then-comedy star Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone’s 1980s run of action films had turned him into an invincible cartoon character. With massive muscles, immaculately coiffed hair, and a seeming inability to lose any fights onscreen, Stallone’s only real competition for the title of ‘80s action king was the similarly unbreakable Arnold Schwarzenegger. Even movies punctuated by sentiment or pain, like Rocky and First Blood, grew into franchises where those qualities were gradually phased out in favor of (mostly pretty awesome) adolescent power fantasies. But Cliffhanger was almost a classy take on the traditional Stallone character, with a screenplay that received the actor’s traditional rewrites.
Inside Sylvester Stallone’s Rewrite of ‘Cliffhanger’
Despite being best known as an action star, Sylvester Stallone has a strong history of writing and directing his films as well. From his mainstream breakthrough with writing and starring in 1976’s Rocky, Stallone took all creative elements of filmmaking seriously. It’s hard to miss his writing credits on ‘80s movies as varied as Rhinestone, Cobra (one of Stallone’s most brutal films), and Over the Top (as well as every entry in the Rocky and Rambo franchises). He could use his script-rewrite privilege on certain films to give himself more to do as an actor — bigger action scenes, punchier one-liners — while making sure the movies fit his public image as an actor. But by the early ‘90s, Stallone’s career was seeing as many lows as highs, especially in comedy films where he had little to no creative influence. Cliffhanger had been slowly brewing all the while. Before Cliffhanger came together, Renny Harlin and Carolco had spent years developing Gale Force, which would have cast Stallone as a man defending a seaside town against marauders at the peak of a hurricane.
As a film from the Carolco company that had produced all three Rambo films, it would have been right up Stallone’s wheelhouse. According to Entertainment Weekly, after spending nearly $2 million on scripts and treatments, Carolco scrapped Gale Force in favor of Cliffhanger.
Gabe is a classic Stallone character — stoic, isolated, and capable.
9 Kickass Movies That Pretty Much Just Copied ‘Die Hard’
With ‘Die Hard’ turning 30 this week and Dwayne Johnson doing his best John McClane in ‘Skyscraper’, we’re taking a look at the best movies that totally cribbed from ‘Die Hard’s playbook.
‘Cliffhanger’ Saved Sylvester Stallone’s Career
Cliffhanger’s long development and rough road to production (including multiple production stops due to Carolco’s failure to pay crew, according to the June 1993 issue of Spy magazine) followed several poorly performing movies for Sylvester Stallone. His attempts at branching out into comedy with movies like John Landis’ surprisingly funny flop, Oscar, and 1992’s notorious naughty old lady comedy Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (a ’90s so-bad-it’s-good classic) revealed his limits. Cliffhanger, casting him as a tough and reliable mountain ranger fighting thieves in icy caves, reminded audiences of what made him such an effective action hero. In the movie’s vertigo-inducing prologue, we see what makes Gabe Walker tick, and why he walked away from the mountain ranger lifestyle, as his decision-making inadvertently leads to the death of his best friend Hal’s (Michael Rooker) girlfriend. As ridiculous as the scene can be, it announces the movie’s massive sense of scale and lets Stallone’s emotions anchor the whole film.
With a script majorly rewritten by Stallone, you might expect Cliffhanger to feature numerous scenes of Gabe Walker as an untouchable killer with remarkable survival instincts. And you’d be right — the reveal that he survived an avalanche plays like a gag. But the movie’s strength is spending time with its ensemble. Besides Stallone’s future Guardians of the Galaxy co-star Rooker, John Lithgow’s villainous Qualen is a great Hans Gruber type, and his henchmen are memorable too. Cliffhanger’s generosity of spirit, disaster movie energy, and excessive touches ensure that while Stallone comes off best, the entire film clicks as an ensemble action thriller. Considering how the ‘90s had gone for him up to that point, Cliffhanger’s a redemption story for Stallone, one he had to write for himself.
Entertainment
10 thrillers on Tubi you can stream for free right now
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Edge-of-your-seat suspense, unforgettable left turns, and hidden gems are waiting to hijack your night.
Entertainment
Steven Seagal’s Insane, R-Rated Sci-Fi Thriller Will Make You Wish The Bad Guys Win
By Robert Scucci
| Published

I love watching Steven Seagal movies. Under Siege (1992) is Die Hard on a boat, and it’s actually a great watch thanks to the supporting cast involved, especially Tommy Lee Jones. Hard to Kill (1990) is amazing because the most badass thing Seagal says in the entire film happens when he’s alone in his bedroom, muttering about taking the evil senator on his TV to the blood bank. And how could we talk about Steven Seagal without mentioning On Deadly Ground (1994), a cautionary tale about corporations destroying the environment that somehow involves Seagal, the good guy, blowing up half of Alaska?
At face value, these movies are tremendously entertaining, but not for the reasons you’d think. Most of the entertainment value comes from Seagal believing he’s a living, breathing legend, even though most of the fight scenes involve him talking tough, running awkwardly, and wiggling his hands around. But if you really want a Steven Seagal punisher that could double as a drinking game, it has to be 2006’s Attack Force.

And what would that drinking game be, you ask? Every time Seagal opens his mouth and it sounds like a Martin Sheen impersonator is dubbing over the dialogue, you take a sip of whatever you’ve got. Be warned: you’ll probably need your stomach pumped if you actually commit to this bit.
I Don’t Even Know What This Movie’s About
As of this writing, I’ve written 1,945 articles for this site, most of them movie reviews. Usually, I’ll knock out a quick summary, talk about the themes, break down intention versus execution, and figure out who the movie is actually for. Attack Force finally broke me. This movie isn’t about anything or for anyone, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t laugh my face off the entire time I watched it.

To the best of my understanding, Attack Force follows Steven Seagal’s Commander Marshall Lawson, who, as expected, suffers from a terminal case of “Damn, he’s good” syndrome. On this mission, however, a commander is only as good as his team, and his squad gets wiped out almost immediately by a stripper named Reina (Evelyne Armela O’Bami). Marshall, with help from his girlfriend Tia (Lisa Lovbrand), discovers that Reina murdered his team while high on a new party drug called CTX, which Tia co-developed alongside corrupt nightclub owner Aroon (Adam Croasdell).
Though Tia helped create CTX, she wants nothing to do with Aroon’s comically evil plan to taint Paris’ water supply with the drug because it turns anybody who takes it into a bloodthirsty maniac with an insatiable appetite for flesh, or something close to that. There’s a lot of dialogue about animal instincts and violent mammalian impulses, but none of it really clarifies anything. There are also reports that earlier versions of the film involved aliens, so who the hell knows what happened here?

Long story short, Steven Seagal wears these weird talon gloves that let him punch and slash people at the same time, a bunch of people die, and then the movie abruptly ends with zero explanation or closure. I’m trying to make it make sense, but I’m a writer, not a miracle worker.
It Gets Worse
The most insane thing about Attack Force is the sloppy overdubbing. Legend has it that there were so many rewrites after production wrapped that entire chunks of dialogue had to be replaced in post. The problem is nobody was available for reshoots, so a healthy percentage of Seagal’s lines were redubbed by a guy who sounds more like Martin Sheen than the actor he’s supposed to be portraying. We’re not talking about little touch-ups either. There are scenes where Seagal switches between two completely different voices within the same conversation. He’ll start speaking normally, the next few sentences are dubbed over, and then the exchange suddenly snaps back to his real voice like nothing happened.

To add insult to injury, the hand-to-hand combat sequences in this movie are ridiculous. Most of Seagal’s fighting at this point in his career involves him glaring intensely, waving his hands around like he’s performing interpretive dance, and relying on frantic camerawork to disguise the fact that a past-his-prime action star is basically doing the Macarena while people fling themselves across the room after running into him. I wish I was exaggerating, but if you watch Attack Force for any reason, I hope it’s to study these production disasters for the love of the game because the movie has absolutely nothing else going for it.
Attack Force may genuinely be the worst movie I’ve ever seen. I say this as somebody who once gave Buttcrack (1998) a five-star review. At least Buttcrack knows exactly what it is. It’s a bunch of people trying to make the dumbest movie imaginable and somehow landing a distribution deal in the process. I can respect that, and I do respect that. Attack Force, by all appearances, was a legitimate attempt at a sci-fi action thriller, but there’s barely any sci-fi, no thrills whatsoever, and action scenes that feel like they’re on life support waiting for somebody to pull the plug. I respect none of this.


As of this writing, you can stream Attack Force for free on Tubi. Seriously, don’t pay for this one.
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