“Wait, why weren’t we invited? There are a thousand people there!” I asked my husband Garret, a well-known music producer in LA.

I scrolled on Instagram as we talked, watching the celebrities roll into Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s wedding at Madison Square Garden.

“I got a text but I thought it was spam,” he told me, sounding defensive.

“WHAT!?” I asked in total disbelief.

I could feel my heart pulsing in my fingertips as I continued to scroll through the barrage of wedding-related posts popping up online.

“Yeah – remember I told you I got a text from her manager? But I didn’t respond to it. It didn’t sound like him.”

“It was probably an assistant!” I scolded him, my frustration growing by the second.

“Oh,” Garret said, seemingly apologetic.

We’ve been married for 32 years and have lived in the same house all of that time, but apparently we occupy two different worlds.

As a psychotherapist with over a decade of experience in marriage and family therapy, I’ve seen my fair share of women who say their husbands don’t understand them. At that moment, I could relate on an entirely new level.

“So let me get this straight: You mean to tell me that we were invited… and you didn’t click on the invite?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “I guess I thought someone was trying to hack my address book or something.”

Reeling in frustration, I left the room. My jaw was clenched tight, so I purposefully took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

I thought back to 2012, when my husband worked with Swift on her album, Red. She came to our remote music studio in Topanga, California, and sang The Last Time with Gary Lightbody. My husband said she was the driving force in the room.

Afterward, she had dinner with our family. She was a warm and confident young woman – and a true storyteller. She charmed all of us with her wit and grace.

I walked back into the room, intent on hearing my husband out, but I wasn’t really listening.

“But it’s Taylor Swift!” was all I could manage to say.

“I know,” he said, “but why would you even want to go?”

Because it’s fun and romantic, I thought.

When everything feels so nightmarish and hopeless in America right now, it seems like many of us are looking for something sweet like a fairytale wedding to cheer us up – or at the very least, distract us for a moment.

I’ve never considered myself a die-hard Swiftie, but as a therapist, I understand the impact of young women hearing their experiences play out in her songs.

Taylor sings about love and heartbreak – something most of us can relate to at some point in our lives – but she also sings about things many women often keep hidden (and are encouraged to keep hidden): jealousy, anxiety, body issues, relationship problems, overthinking, and being self-critical.

She is vulnerable and willing to expose pieces of herself that aren’t always pretty. She says things that so many of us have thought but never said out loud.

She’s a complicated icon who has challenged homophobia, donated millions to charities and challenged right-wing politicians. At the same time, she’s been critiqued for her shrewd capitalism, private jet usage and “white victimhood”. And, at the end of the day, she was putting on a spectacle that felt dreamy and optimistic.

“I wanted to go because it would give me a bit of hope,” I told Garret.

“Hope for love! Hope for some good in the world! I don’t know… maybe hope in America at a dark time? And I obviously would have loved to hear the musical guests. I mean… Stevie Nicks was supposed to play!”

He didn’t say anything for a minute, and then he seemed to realise what had really happened: he’d disappointed me. Not on purpose, of course, but the disappointment was still very real.

We were both quiet for a moment.

“Sorry hon… I’m sorry,” he said, adding, “It’s really hot out there – it would’ve been hot.”

I felt myself starting to lose my mind again.

We were invited to the wedding of the decade and we didn’t go because it might be too hot? We didn’t even RSVP “no”. How rude is that? (Sorry Taylor and Travis!)

I couldn’t help but think about how it sometimes seems women carry the emotional baggage in our culture and men often focus more on function.

Research from the University of Texas showed that women are often centred on building bonds, while men are typically concentrated on fixing problems. So, what do I see in this case that he doesn’t? A need at this time in our collective consciousness to concentrate on love (building bonds), milestone stories and hope in this country – a current desert of levity.

So there we were on a hot, smoggy day in LA at an impasse. An hour later Garret brought home my favourite dinner, gave me a hug and kissed me.

And just like that, we were back in our usual flow – together. Julie and John Gottman, world-renowned researchers and psychologists, would call this a repair attempt – a small gesture to de-escalate tension and get back to a strong bond.

As we sat down at the kitchen table to eat, he said, “Sorry again.”

“No worries, honey,” I said.

Our marriage has never been perfect and sometimes we’re surprised that it’s still going. We struggled last year after we became empty nesters and moved from the countryside to the city. It was a tough transition for both of us.

I was recovering from a brain tumour and he was working on the longest and hardest project in his life. We were both on edge. There were many conflicts and late-night arguments about our future, but we always end up in repair.

Thankfully, repair is the heart of our partnership.

After I cooled down, I thought about how our lives are currently filled with much bigger things to worry about than Taylor Swift’s wedding. My mom had just passed. Garret is dealing with an ageing father in Ireland. We’re contemplating another move. And, of course, it feels like the entire world has come undone.

Every day some new terrible thing is happening somewhere. So despite my disappointment and frustration, I forgave him.

A missed wedding will not be what breaks us. We’re stronger than that.

Still, it would’ve been fun to see her dress.

Melissa Garner Lee is a writer and licensed marriage and family therapist based in Los Angeles, California. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, HuffPost, USNews and Newsweek. She is currently working on her first novel, “The Gleaner.” Find more from her on Instagram @themindfulheartla and Substack @slouchingliterary.

Do you have a compelling personal story you’d like to see published on HuffPost? Find out what we’re looking for here and send us a pitch at pitch@huffpost.com.

There have been plenty of social media trends that end with “maxxing” thus far – looksmaxxing, sleepmaxxing, jestermaxxing and fibremaxxing, to name a few.

But the latest trend adopting the much-used suffix is certainly one to be wary of – tanmaxxing is, as the name suggests, about achieving the most optimal tan possible.

Skin health experts are understandably worried about the repercussions of this – especially on young skin.

Dermatologist Dr Rachel Nazarian told CBS Mornings that the trend for getting a dramatic tan – whether by using sunbeds or sitting in the midday sun without sunscreen – is “very dangerous”.

She highlighted how lots of these trends are doing the rounds on social media, where misinformation is rife. She’s right – a quick look online and there are videos where people are suggesting getting a tan is safe (spoiler: it isn’t).

Dr Zainab Laftah, consultant dermatologist and British Skin Foundation spokesperson, told HuffPost UK: “The ‘tanmaxxing’ trend is concerning because there is no such thing as a safe tan.”

Basically, a tan is visible evidence of your skin being damaged. Or as Dr Laftah puts it: “A tan is the skin’s response to UV radiation causing DNA damage.”

There are two main risks to teens and young adults hopping on the tanmaxxing trend. The first is an obvious one: skin cancer. Your risk of melanoma – a potentially deadly form of skin cancer – doubles with a history of five or more sunburns, according to the Skin Cancer Foundation.

Sun burn is also the leading cause in most cases of basal cell carcinoma, squamous cell carcinoma and melanoma.

As for tanning beds, they emit up to 15 times more UV radiation than the midday sun – and people who start using tanning beds before the age of 35 have a 75% increased risk of developing melanoma, according to the Skin Cancer Foundation.

The second risk is more of a cosmetic one, but it’s one that Dr Nazarian flagged in the hopes it will deter people from jumping on the trend: sun damage ages you. In fact it can cause wrinkling, loss of skin elasticity, pigmentation, sun spots and redness, according to Yale Medicine.

“It happens when ultraviolet (UV) light hits skin unprotected by sunscreen, causing DNA changes at a cellular level. Because photodamage happens in the deepest layers of the skin – the dermis – it can take years before the damage surfaces and becomes visible,” reads the site.

This is the tricky bit because you can tell kids to wear sun cream until the cows come home, but will they actually do it?

Tanning culture is huge – and the desire to fit in can outweigh the desire to stay safe (we see this time and time again with teens jumping on risky trends).

The key is education, but not in a lecturing way (as that rarely works either). “Conversations about skin health, rather than appearance, can help teenagers develop healthier attitudes towards sun safety,” said Dr Laftah.

The dermatologist urges parents to encourage teens to question social media trends and explain “that influencers often overlook the long-term consequences of UV damage”.

Reinforce practical habits during these informal chats, such as using broad-spectrum SPF 30+ sunscreen, wearing protective clothing, seeking shade during peak UV hours, and avoiding intentional tanning.

Lastly, offer safer ways to achieve the look. Mary Wu Chang, associate professor of Dermatology and Pediatrics at UConn Health, recommended self-tanning lotions and spray tans, for instance.

Dr Laftah agrees: “If teens want a bronzed look, self-tanning products are a much safer alternative to tanning in the sun or using sunbeds.”

We’ve written about dishydrotic eczema, or pompholyx, before at HuffPost UK.

That shows up as tiny, incredibly itchy, usually flesh-coloured bumps on your hands and feet. It should always be investigated if it’s new and/or if you suspect infection.

But what does it mean if you have little white or yellow lumps by your eye?

Sometimes, these can be milia, or “milk spots,” the Cleveland Clinic said.

Interestingly, they can affect up to 50% of newborns, though they can happen in adults too.

Here’s what chartered chemist and founder of SOS Serum Skincare, Bruce Green, said about them:

These “are tiny, white or yellowish bumps that usually appear on the face, most commonly around the eyes or cheeks. They’re formed when keratin (a protein in the skin) becomes trapped beneath the surface,” Green said.

Milia aren’t formed in the same way as spots and whiteheads, which occur when oil and bacteria gather in a clogged pore.

Instead, dead skin cells slowly build up and can’t escape your skin.

Milia are “completely harmless, but can be frustrating cosmetically,” Green continued.

They’re especially common among newborns – hence the nickname “milk spots” – and adults with thicker, drier skin.

“They can also appear after skin trauma, such as burns, or even from using heavy skincare products that clog the surface of the skin. People with sun-damaged skin may also be more prone,” the expert said.

Luckily, Green told us, most milia will resolve on their own over time.

Still, if you want to speed the process up, “regular gentle exfoliation using chemical exfoliants (like AHAs or BHAs) can help them to clear up and to prevent new ones forming,” Green shared.

Retinol can also increase the rate at which your skin cells turnover, which may help.

“It’s important never to pick at milia, as this can damage the skin. For stubborn or long-lasting milia, professional extraction by a dermatologist or trained aesthetician is the safest option,” the expert continued.

To keep them at bay, maintain a good skincare routine, involving a gentle cleanser, hydrating moisturisers, SPF, and up to twice-weekly gentle exfoliation can help.

“If milia persist or you’d like them removed, it’s best to seek professional help from a dermatologist or trained aesthetician. Trying to extract them at home can damage the skin and increase the risk of scarring or infection,” Green ended.

These can also develop around the eye area. They’re cholesterol deposits that develop in the skin around the lower eye area and on the eyelid and typically appear as little, pale yellowish bumps.

They can be a sign you have familial hypercholesterolemia (FH), a genetic condition that means your liver can’t process cholesterol properly.

Xanthelasmas are harmless in and of themselves, but they’re linked to an increased risk of heart disease.

You can get a genetic test if you think you may have FH.

Singer Bonnie Tyler has died aged 75.

On Thursday morning, a statement was published on her official website, which read: “Bonnie’s family and team are heartbroken to announce that Bonnie unexpectedly passed away last night in hospital in Portugal as a result of the illness that she was being treated for.

“We will issue a further statement shortly but for now ask for privacy to deal with this tragedy.”

The Total Eclipse Of The Heart singer was rushed to hospital near her home in Faro in May, to undergo emergency intestinal surgery.

On 6 May, the Holding Out For A Hero singer’s team released a statement on Instagram informing fans that Bonnie had “been admitted to hospital in Faro, Portugal, where she has a home, for emergency intestinal surgery”.

The Welsh-born performer, who turned 75 earlier this year, had been due to tour Europe in 2026 to mark 50 years since the release of her 1976 breakthrough hit Lost In France, which charted across Europe.

A week later, it was confirmed she’d been placed in an induced coma “to aid her recovery”, with her digital team sharing a new statement on her official website last week, following speculation about her condition on social media.

Last month, her spokesperson said she was out of the coma but remained “very unwell and in intensive care”.

The spokesperson thanked fans for their “huge outpouring of love and support” from around the world, adding that Bonnie was aware of it and grateful for the good wishes.

Bonnie – whose legal name is Gaynor Hopkins – first shot to fame in the late 1970s thanks to singles like Lost In France and It’s A Heartache.

In the years that followed, she became known for hits including Holding Out For A Hero, the number one single Total Eclipse Of The Heart and a cover of Creedence Clearwater Revival’s Have You Ever Seen The Rain?.

Her massive hit Total Eclipse Of The Heart, written by Meatloaf lyricist Jim Steinman, saw Bonnie become the first ever Welsh person to bag a number one spot in the US.

The song was inspired by, and written for a Nosferatu musical originally, with the singer telling The Guardian back in 2023 that she “understood immediately what an incredible song it was”.

She later added: “He told me he had started writing the song for a prospective musical version of Nosferatu years before, but never finished it.

“Around the time we were recording, Meat Loaf had lost his voice, and after it was a hit he always used to say: ‘Dang. That song should have been mine!’ I poured my heart out singing it.”

Over the course of her music career, Bonnie released 18 studio albums, most recently in 2021, and was nominated for three Grammy Awards and three Brit Awards.

She also represented the United Kingdom at the Eurovision Song Contest in 2013 with her song Believe In Me, and was awarded an MBE by the late Queen Elizabeth II for her services to music in 2022.

This is a developing story, check back for more updates.

Martin Freeman has something to get off his chest about his time appearing in The Office.

The Love Actually star played Tim in the original British sitcom, which ran for two seasons in the early 2000s, ending with a two-part Christmas special.

It’s now been 25 years since The Office premiered on the BBC, and to mark the occasion, Martin and his co-star Mackenzie Crook recently took part in a one-off BBC special reflecting on their time on set.

During the conversation, the Sherlock actor recalled how creators Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant were always quick to dismiss the suggestion there was any improvisation in the game-changing mockumentary, which Martin has a different view on.

“When it became the monster that it did, and people would say it sounded improvised, then understandably, Ricky and Stephen went, ‘No, none of it’s improvised’, which is not true,” he said.

Martin continued: “What slightly annoyed me at the time – but only slightly, at the time – is when the scripts were published, they weren’t the scripts. They were the transcriptions of what had been on television.

“So, that annoyed me a little bit, because… well… anyone who knows any of us knows that that line came from you in that moment, that line came from me…”

The Marvel cast member praised Ricky and Stephen’s “brilliant” writing, but pointed out that the original scripts were “loose”, which allowed the cast to play with the material somewhat.

“I can understand why there was a little bit of protection about that, because otherwise people would’ve gone, ‘Hey, you just rock up and you just make it all up’, which clearly was not the case,” he added.

“The writing on it that they did was brilliant. But you only need to know us a little bit or know the process of it. We’re also in there, you know? It doesn’t mean it’s a co-credit. Doesn’t mean [the whole show was] improvised, but it’s nicely loose.”

HuffPost UK has contacted Ricky Gervais’ team for comment.

Ricky previously told The Independent that he was invited to take part in the BBC’s special, but turned it down as he was “not available” at the time.

A video in which Ricky shares his own memories of working on The Office has since been uploaded to the comedian’s YouTube page.

During a new interview with Empire about the show, the After Life creator also claimed: “It was so important [for the cast] to be naturalistic. Some people thought The Office was ad-libbed. And that’s a testament to the actors, making it look like they came up with it off the top of their heads.”

With summers getting hotter and rates of skin cancer rising, it might come as a surprise to hear some UK schools have policies in place that do not allow children to bring in their own sunscreen for reapplication throughout the day.

At some UK primary schools, for instance, parents are encouraged to apply sunscreen to their children before school – and that’s it.

Yet even sun creams claiming to be long-lasting wouldn’t last the entire school day, nor would it outlast after-school clubs.

Dr Emma Wedgeworth, consultant dermatologist and British Skin Foundation spokesperson, said if kids are in direct sunlight (which they typically will be at break and over lunch) “sunscreen should be reapplied every three hours”.

Government guidance says that in early years childcare settings (typically under-4s), sunscreen should be applied generously and reapplied every two hours. The NHS advises the same.

But for children in primary school, there is no blanket guidance.

Marie Tudor, CEO of national skin cancer prevention charity SKCIN, told HuffPost UK that applying sunscreen before school, while important, “is highly unlikely to provide adequate protection throughout an entire school day, especially during the summer months when UV levels are highest”.

There are a few factors to consider: one is the application of sunscreen. For those teaching younger children in particular, they simply wouldn’t have time to apply sun cream to 30+ students.

There’s also a safeguarding consideration. The National Education Union (NEU), for example, advises teachers not to apply sunscreen to pupils, “mainly because of the potential for allegations of abuse but also because allergies”.

NEU guidance is that if schools do opt to let teachers apply sun cream, parental consent should be obtained – and staff should only apply sunscreen to the face, neck and arms of pupils.

One way to navigate this is that children could apply it themselves – and some schools do allow this, but not all. Roll-on sun creams and applicators like Solar Buddies can be useful for teaching younger kids in particular how to apply it themselves.

Allergies are also a cause for concern – although allergic reactions to sunscreens are pretty uncommon.

Anne Biggs, deputy head of clinical services at Allergy UK, said that while some sunscreens can cause an itchy reaction, “it is more likely to be that the skin is sensitive and irritated by that product rather than an allergy”. For children with eczema and sensitive skin, this may be more likely.

The charity SKCIN launched a Sun Safe Schools programme in 2012 and, since then, has focused on embedding preventative sun safety education into UK primary schools.

Tudor, the CEO, said most reactions are linked to specific ingredients rather than sunscreen itself, and these can often be avoided through careful product selection.

“Parents can support schools by providing clearly labelled sunscreen suitable for their child, informing schools of any known allergies and carrying out patch testing where there are concerns,” she explained.

“Schools can minimise risk by having clear sun protection policies, obtaining parental consent where appropriate and encouraging children to use their own named products rather than sharing sunscreen.”

She added: “In our experience, the risks associated with inadequate sun protection and sunburn far outweigh the relatively low risk of adverse reactions when sensible precautions are in place.”

Melanoma, the most deadly skin cancer, is now the UK’s fifth most common cancer and deaths from melanoma skin cancer have risen by 150% since the 1970s, according to Cancer Research UK.

A person’s risk of developing melanoma doubles with a history of five or more sunburns.

SKCIN is calling for UK schools to adopt practical sun protection measures that reflect current public health guidance – especially as data shows UK summers are getting hotter, and around 90% of melanoma cases are linked to UV exposure.

Data shared by the Children’s Burns Trust shows severe child sunburn injuries increased sharply in 2025, when 252 sunburn cases in children were admitted to a Specialist Burns Unit – a 46.5% rise from 172 cases in 2024. Ken Dunn, vice chair at the charity, said sunburn is “painful, distressing and entirely preventable”.

“Schools have a duty of care to safeguard children’s health and wellbeing, and sun protection should be viewed no differently from other measures taken to protect pupils from avoidable harm,” said Tudor.

“While schools routinely manage medicines, allergies and a wide range of health and safety considerations, sunburn remains one of the few entirely preventable health harms that many children still experience during the school day.

“Given the well-established link between childhood sunburn and future skin cancer risk, this is an issue that deserves greater attention.”

The charity is calling for school policies to be amended so that children can bring sunscreen to school for self-application, where age-appropriate, or with support from staff where required.

“This should sit alongside other important sun safety measures such as providing shade, encouraging the use of hats and protective clothing, and avoiding prolonged exposure during peak UV hours,” Tudor added.

“Ultimately, the goal is to prevent sunburn and establish lifelong sun-safe habits that can significantly reduce future skin cancer risk.

“By normalising sun protection in schools, we have an opportunity not only to protect children today, but to reduce the burden of skin cancer for future generations.”

Callers to a radio phone-in savaged Robert Jenrick as he defended Nigel Farage’s decision to trigger a by-election in Clacton.

Reform UK’s Treasury spokesman was standing in for regular presenter James O’Brien on LBC.

Farage unexpectedly quit as an MP on Tuesday amid controversy over the £5 million gift he received from a crypto billionaire, which is being investigated by parliament’s commissioner for standards.

The Reform leader said he was triggering a “people versus the establishment” by-election, but so far his only confirmed opponent is Count Binface after Labour, the Tories, the Lib Dems and Greens all refused to take part.

Jenrick said Farage had shown “balls” by putting his political career on the line, despite the fact that he won his Clacton seat with a majority of 8,400 just two years ago.

He also said the other parties were “cowards” for not putting up their own candidates.

But the vast majority of people who rang in during the hour-long debate took a different view.

Al in Glasgow said: “I think Farage is throwing toys out of his pram.

“He cannot deal with challenge, and so he has to have some kind of primadonna reaction. It’s nothing to do with democracy.

“His democratic vote has already been taken, the other parties shouldn’t rise to the bait, he’s just being a child.”

John in Sheffield said: “I think that Nigel Farage isn’t a sensible candidate, even when compared to Count Binface.”

But Jenrick hit back: “I do think Count Binface is an interesting character. Nigel has been in the House of Commons now for two years, so he’s used to people who’ve got robotic voices and a head full of rubbish, so I’m sure he’ll be able to take on Binface.”

Another caller, Ben from Leigh-on-Sea, said Farage was “insulting the voters of Clacton by not waiting for the commission to produce their report and their findings, and then there potentially being a by-election when they’ve got all the facts in front of them”.

“Do you not think he’s being cowardly by trying to get out in front before we know the full facts and evidence against him,” he said.

Even Reform member Nicola from Horsham did not agree with Farage’s move.

She said: “What’s happening now is leaving me in despair. I don’t like this by-election sideshow nonsense.

“Nigel is giving the media exactly what they want. No matter what channel you turn to – TV, radio, they’re loving it. All slagging off Nigel, when really all this is going on and Andy Burnham is sliding straight into No.10 unchallenged.

“I just feel if Nigel wasn’t doing this, perhaps people would be on Andy’s case.”

Lisa in Brentwood said Farage was “a vile, repulsive individual”.

“Everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie,” she told Jenrick, who defected from the Tories to Reform earlier this year.

“The fact that you’re sticking up for him just shows what a person you are because you didn’t have a by-election, you were quite happy to just walk across the floor without giving the people of Runcorn a chance to decide whether they wanted Reform.”

Another caller, Tom from Bury St Edmonds, said the by-election “does nothing for the people of Clacton”.

“At the end of the day these are constituents who have genuine concerns and genuine issue and they need help and support from their member of parliament, and they’ll be lacking that if there’s by-election after by-election,” he said.

“That to me makes this feel like a political stunt.”

Bea in Northampton said Farage and Jenrick were trying to “muddy the waters” by deflecting attention away from the standards probe.

Simon in Taunton told Jenrick: “How do I follow those earlier callers who absolutely wiped the floor with you?

“As you sit there as Nigel’s foot soldier trying to gaslight Reform supporters and the poor unsuspecting electorate of Clacton-on-Sea, have you got your fingers crossed behind your back? Do you actually believe anything you’re saying?

“You know and I know that this by-election is completely unnecessary. It is a complete circus show that Nigel Farage is putting on as part of his usual theatrics to garner the spotlight.”

Reform MP Lee Anderson this morning kick-started the by-election process by “moving the writ” in parliament.

It confirms that Farage is no longer Clacton’s MP, and that a date for a by-election will now need to be set.

Reform want it to take place on August 6, but it may end up being on August 13.

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