Entertainment
10 Pointless Movie Remakes That Had No Reason To Exist
The word “remake” doesn’t have to be a derogatory one, as there are many examples of redoing the same film and finding success. John Carpenter’s The Thing is a horror classic that supersedes the original 1951 film, Ocean’s Eleven from Steven Soderbergh was a far classier take on a “Rat Pack” star vehicle, the Coen brothers’ version of True Grit was actually close to the novel, and Martin Scorsese’s The Departed significantly adjusted the themes of Infernal Affairs to create an instant classic in the gangster genre that won the Academy Award for Best Picture.
A remake should exist if it has the opportunity to significantly improve upon or change something about the original film, but it shouldn’t occur purely to bait nostalgia. Unfortuantely, many remakes are made just to cash in on a popular name, and don’t have a legacy of their own.
10
‘Robocop’ (2014)
Robocop is one of the most rewatchable films of the ‘80s, and its a lot smarter than it is often given credit for. Paul Verhoeven satirized American media and consumerism with his ruthless analysis of corporate culture, and infused some Biblical themes into the story of how the police officer Alex Murphy (Frank Weller) is resurrected into a cyborg hero.
The Robocop remake cuts out all of the satire for the sake of making a bland dystopian film, and it doesn’t do enough to flesh out what Murphy goes through, even if Joel Kinnaman is trying his best with the material. Worst of all, the Robocop remake is PG-13; there’s no point in making a film in the franchise if it can’t include the ultra-violence that is inherent to the themes, as even the bad Robocop sequels were able to pull that off.
9
‘Total Recall’ (2012)
Total Recall is another Verhoeven classic that was compeely neutered when it was remade because Len Wiseman didn’t have the same creative eye for action and worldbuilding. The original Total Recall is a genuinely thought-provoking psychological thriller that questions the nature of reality and says something about projections of escapist fantasies; it’s one of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s best performances, and the remake sadly wasted the talents of Colin Farrell by giving him one of the most boring character arcs imaginable.
In addition to being PG-13, the Total Recall remake felt less imaginative because it didn’t even go to Mars, and simply felt like just another totalitarian sci-fi thriller. Given that the film has almost no interest in looking beyond the surface of anything that Verhoeven had done with the original, it might as well have not even been called Total Recall.
8
‘Ghostbusters’ (2016)
Ghostbusters lit a fire within Internet discourse in 2016 when online trolls rejected the idea of an all-female reboot of the 1984 classic from Ivan Reitman, but the unfortunate reality is that Paul Feig’s reimagining had very little to say. Despite the presence of four talented actresses in the cast, 2016’s Ghostbusters is virtually a beat-for-beat remake of the original film, only with more fart jokes, product placement, and terrible improv.
2016’s Ghostbusters looked ridiculously cheap, as the film’s terrible CGI was nowhere near as effective as the practical makeup and effects that had been used in 1984. Worst of all, it tried to bring back original cast members Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd for pointless cameos that broke the canon of the series; while the most recent Ghostbusters sequels have been criticized for being too dour, they at least tried to do something new.
7
‘Point Break’ (2015)
Point Break is one of the most influential action films of the ‘90s, and struck a very unique tonal balance between irony and sincerity; ironically, it took a female director in Kathryn Bigelow to make one of the most profound action films ever that tackled the pressures of masculinity. The Point Break remake had none of this attention-to-detail, as it decided to revamp the fun world of surfing with a bland exploration of extreme sports, which already felt dated in 2015.
The biggest issue with the new Point Break is the lack of chemistry between the two leads. The dynamic between Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze in the original was so strong that Luke Bracey and Edgar Ramirez paled in comparison in the remake; Bracey and Ramirez are both good actors, but they were not given the opportunity to flesh out their roles.
6
‘Clash of the Titans’ (2010)
Clash of the Titans is a remake that theoretically should have worked, as the original film from 1981 has not aged very well. However, the 2010 reimagining somehow managed to take the enormity of Greek mythology and make it bland, as the conflict between Zeus (Liam Neeson) and Perseus (Sam Worthington) felt uninspired.
Clash of the Titans immediately dated itself with terrible use of 3D, which was created using a post-production conversion effect that didn’t feel fluid. This was a time in which studios were desperate to cash in on the success of Avatar, which had become the highest-grossing film of all-time, but Clash of the Titans didn’t have James Cameron’s attention-to-detail when it came to worldbuilding. Despite the fact that Greek mythology inspired much of modern storytelling, it wasn’t until Christopher Nolan made The Odyssey that there was a genuinely great film about Greek myths.
5
‘The Lion King’ (2019)
The Lion King is among the most cynical remakes ever made because it does absolutely nothing to distinguish itself from the 1994 classic, as it is virtually a shot-for-shot recreation. While Disney has shown that it can make good remakes like Pete’s Dragon that do something inventive and new, The Lion King’s only additions are bad songs and morose visuals.
The Lion King can’t be described as “live-action” because there are no human characters, and the effect of seeing photorealistic animals talking and singing is downright creepy. It was the stylization and color within the 1994 classic that was critical to the storytelling, and the remake sucks out all of that energy with its attempt to have the same grounded realism of an episode of Animal Planet. Its success is among the most dispiriting box office stories of the 21st century.
4
‘Wuthering Heights’ (2026)
Wuthering Heights is a novel that has never been perfectly adapted, as even the Best Picture-nominated 1939 classic was only based on half of Emily Bronte’s novel. Instead of taking the opportunity to make a more thorough adaption, Emerald Fennell reduced the material even further by cutting out major characters and inserting more raunchiness; this is a complete misreading of the source material, as it is the unfulfilled longing between Catherine Earnshaw (Margot Robbie) and Heathcliff (Jacob Elordi) that is supposed to heighten the sexual tension.
Fennell’s film casts actors who are far too old to realistically be playing their characters and uses shock value to visualize Catherine’s sexual awakening; the result is a film that feels made by someone who had only skimmed the novel and didn’t understand what it was actually trying to say about loss and love.
3
‘Going in Style’ (2017)
Going in Style had the potential to be a great remake because the original 1979 film is a classic, but also a product of its time that isn’t as well-remembered as some of the other comedies of its era. The casting of Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, and Alan Arkin was spot-on, but the issue with the new Going in Style was its director, Zach Braff.
Braff didn’t have the same sensitivity and earnestness that had made Martin Brest’s take on the same story such a thoughtful exploration of aging and moving past one’s prime. The 2017 version is rife with slapstick gags and ridiculous heist movie shenanigans, as it basically revolves around most characters being idiots in order to be logical in the slightest. It’s a true shame that three all-time great actors couldn’t redeem this massively disappointing new take.
2
‘Lilo and Stitch’ (2025)
Lilo and Stitch is another completely cynical endevour from Disney becaue it catered to nostlagia without having anything new to say about the beloved 2002 film. As is the case with most of Disney’s live-action versions of their animated classics, the Lilo & Stitch remake is devoid of color and filmmaking skill.
The film was originally planned to be a Disney+ release, and it’s obvious because of the low production values and poor acting; it feels like a made-for-television film, and frankly looks less cinematic than many of the shows that air on HBO today. It’s confusing why Disney decided to hire a new creative team for the remake when the first film’s director, Chris Sanders, is still putting out great work; Sanders recently directed the Oscar-nominated animated masterpiece The Wild Robot, which is far more emotional and moving than the Lilo & Stitch remake.
1
‘The Mummy’ (2017)
The Mummy is among the most embarrassing failures in contemporary Hollywood history because Universal tried to launch its own cinematic universe to rival Marvel with the “Dark Universe,” which was promptly cancelled after the first installment in the series failed. Rarely has a film been so blatantly made purely to set up sequels and spinoffs; there’s almost lore to the actual Egyptian mythology in The Mummy, as it is mostly focused on setting up characters like Dr. Henry Jekyll (played by Russell Crowe in a hilariously bad performance) who were planned to recur.
Tom Cruise gives one of the very few genuinely terrible performances of his entire career, even if he can’t be totally blamed for the film’s failings, given that there are few writer/directors working today who have had track records as disastrous as that of Alex Kurtzman.
The Mummy
- Release Date
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June 9, 2017
- Runtime
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110 minutes
- Director
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Alex Kurtzman
- Writers
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Christopher McQuarrie, David Koepp, Dylan Kussman
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