Chuck Norris’ Insane, R-Rated 80s Action Flick Is Exploitative, Violent, And Awesome

By Robert Scucci
| Published 23 seconds ago

1985’s Invasion U.S.A. Holy crap, what a movie. Chuck Norris doesn’t kill terrorists. Terrorists kill themselves when they learn that Chuck Norris is coming for them. This movie was made possible by Cannon Films, the studio that also brought us 1987’s Masters of the Universe and 1989’s Cyborg. The latter was famously written in a single weekend by Albert Pyun after Masters of the Universe underperformed, its sequel plans fell apart, and Cannon needed to repurpose expensive sets and props in a last-ditch effort to recoup their losses.

In case you’re wondering what caliber film Invasion U.S.A. is, the above paragraph is all the explanation you need. It was written by Chuck Norris and James Bruner, and directed by Joseph Zito, best known for classic punishers like 1979’s Bloodrage, 1984’s Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, and 1984’s Missing in Action, another powerhouse Chuck Norris vehicle that sits with a 19 percent critical score on Rotten Tomatoes but is revered as a cult classic.

One Lone Badass Against Every Single Terrorist

Chuck Norris is retired CIA Agent Matt Hunter in Invasion U.S.A., and before things truly heat up, he’s totally fine with his quiet life. He rides around on his airboat with his best friend John Eagle (Dehl Berti), wrestles alligators, and rocks a full Canadian tuxedo like it’s standard issue. What Matt Hunter doesn’t know yet is that he’s about to be forced out of retirement when he learns that his old rival Mikhail Rostov (Richard Lynch) is back to his old tricks.

And what are Mikhail Rostov’s old tricks, you ask? It’s a bit convoluted, but here’s what I picked up after watching Invasion U.S.A., not knowing what I was getting into. Rostov, a Soviet terrorist, wants to create civil unrest in the United States. He first leaves his mark by posing as the Coast Guard and murdering a group of Cuban refugees. He then walks into a flop house, shoots a random dude in the dick, and throws a cocaine-addicted woman through a window.

By themselves, these sequences are unintentionally hilarious, but they also establish exactly what kind of menace Rostov is. These incidents are just the tip of the iceberg, because what he plans next is total anarchy. Rostov, haunted by nightmares of Matt Hunter finally delivering brutal justice, decides to assassinate him so he can finally stop looking over his shoulder. He screws it up, misses his target, blows up Hunter’s swamp house, and kills John Eagle in the process. That’s enough to bring Hunter out of retirement so he can make Rostov’s nightmare come true after all.

Rostov and his goons, thinking they’ve eliminated Matt Hunter, show up in suburban neighborhoods with bazookas and start blowing up random houses. They hit a mall with enough explosives to blow the Santa display into the stratosphere. They show up at public spaces and mow down people coming out of church. All of these acts of terror build toward race wars and full societal collapse. Chuck Norris drives around in his truck wearing driving gloves, because he needs to keep his hands fresh for combat.

More Collateral Damage Than You Could Ever Reasonably Count

Everything explodes in Invasion U.S.A. There is a very clear bad guy and good guy here, and Rostov has a very specific, very insane calling card. He shoots multiple people in the crotch as if it’s his signature move. He literally pulls down the waistband, inserts the muzzle, and starts blasting. Right in the family jewels. He does this a lot. It’s a perfect action movie if these are the kinds of thrills you seek. As Matt Hunter gets further into his crusade for justice, he stays stoic, confident, and ready to tell the higher-ups exactly what they need to do to make sure America rebuilds and remains a dominant world power.

It’s all so stupid, but it’s such a great flick to throw on with friends. The rewind-and-laugh-your-ass-off value on this one is off the charts, making it perfect for a group setting. If you want to celebrate one of Cannon’s most insane clunkers from the 80s, you can stream Invasion U.S.A. for free on Tubi as of this writing.