How The Most Beloved ‘80s Cartoon Destroyed Millennials And Made Them Consumer Slaves

By Chris Snellgrove
| Published 32 seconds ago

When 1986’s Transformers: The Movie came out, this animated masterpiece did the last thing its young fans expected by killing off Optimus Prime. This tough-but-tender truck man was more than the leader of the Autobots: he was a pseudo-father to them and, by extension, to the audience. The filmmakers killed Prime off as a blunt way to demonstrate that this movie was playing for keeps, especially compared to the cartoon. Of course, there was an ulterior motive at play here. By killing off Optimus Prime and many other characters, the film could introduce new characters whose toys the young audience would implore their parents to buy after the credits rolled.

As those Transformers fans got older, many of them joked about how the animated film effectively killed their childhood by bumping off someone as cool and memorable as Prime. However, the movie’s goal of selling more toys had a far more insidious effect that none of us ‘80s kids could actually predict. You see, this movie was ground zero for the explosion of nostalgia that has dominated every Millennial’s life for the last two decades. Transformers: The Movie effectively taught us the worst possible lesson: that we should never put away our toys, and that we’re just one more throwback purchase away from reclaiming the happiness of our childhood.

Welcome To Prime Time

Transformers: The Movie has a pretty relentless pace. After a bit of world-building (including the introduction of the Galactus-like Big Bad, Unicron), we see the Decepticons take over an Autobot ship, horrifically killing everyone onboard. They use this to launch a daring raid on Autobot City, and it soon looks like the bad guys are going to win the day. That changes when Optimus Prime launches a one-man counter-assault that ends with a duel against Megatron, the ruthless Decepticon leader. Prime wins the battle with one final blow, but he has sustained too much damage and later succumbs to his injuries.

In some ways, that makes things worse. Optimus Prime doesn’t get a quick death like other ‘bots, including Starscream. Instead, we watch him slowly and excruciatingly die in the Autobot equivalent of a hospital room. He flatlines, and all hope is lost. We literaly see the light leave his eyes. As if that’s not bad enough, his entire body turns gray, emphasizing the horrific transformation we just watched. This is no longer the strong, vibrant hero of a mighty army. He’s now just a collection of spare parts. Looking back, older Transformers fans consider this the moment their childhood died, which is ironic. After all, this franchise is why our childhood never ended.

The Real Neverending Story

While Transformers has successfully reinvented itself for later generations (just take a look at the toy aisle if you don’t believe me), the original cartoon and movie were squarely aimed at a young, Millennial audience. As this audience grew up, nostalgia became a core part of our identity. There are several theories about why this is. Some think Millennials, as the last pre-internet generation, long for the days before everything went digital. Revisiting the shows, films, and the toys of that era is an attempt to recapture the magic and innocence of our childhood.

Unfortunately, Millennials never really learned to put the toys away. Hollywood is well aware of this collective nostalgia fixation and constantly floods the big screen with endless prequels, sequels, and reboots. After all, why try something new when most of your core audience is longing for something old? This is how we inexplicably got a third trilogy of Star Wars movies focused on Skywalker family drama. Even when we get a nominally new IP like Stranger Things, it has to be soaked in enough ‘80s nostalgia that it tickles the same part of our brains that still likes playing with vintage toys.

Nostalgia Pill: Transform, And Roll Out!

Now, why am I blaming so much of this depressing phenomenon on Transformers: The Movie? In an attempt to sell toys based on new characters, the filmmakers taught the child audience the worst possible lesson: when an old toy dies, just replace it with a new one. Is Optimus Prime dead? No problem, Ultra Magnus has the Matrix of Leadership now. Wait, they just pulled Magnus apart? No worries, Hot Rod is about to get an upgrade (be sure to buy both figures!). By the time my generation grew older, there was never a thought about putting away childish things because constant consumption of nostalgia slop became our corporate-friendly raison d’etre.

Speaking of which, companies constantly fill store shelves with toys that we scoop up, hoping that we’ll eventually have enough plastic crap to fill that void deep inside us. These tchotchkes are a way of microdosing nostalgia; an attempt to recapture the joy we felt at getting a new Transformer growing up. We never really attain that level of joy, which is part of a very specific tragedy. Namely, that Millennials, often referred to as the “bridge” generation, are stuck between two very different eras. Not fully online, yet unable to put the digital cat back in the bag, the best we can do is swim towards the receding shore of the past, one rerun at a time. 

One Shall Rent, One Shall Fall

Sadly, endlessly watching the Autobots and Decepticons fighting each other won’t teach us to transform into our childhood selves. Just as you can’t go home again, you can never truly return to the past. All you can do is look at fragments of it, hoping to catch a reflection of yourself from the last time you were truly happy. But fragments of happiness are better than no happiness at all, so we continue to pursue our inner peace, one rerun at a time. Sadly, Transformers: The Movie isn’t available to stream, but you can rent it on a platform whose name Optimus would approve of: Prime Video. 

While you’re on Amazon, be sure to order a new toy. Don’t worry; I’m sure this will be the one that finally makes everything better!