By Robert Scucci
| Published 4 seconds ago

After watching 2002’s Hard Cash, the almighty algorithm guided me to other ill-fated heist movies from the early aughts, prompting me to spend 88 minutes of my life watching 2001’s Wish You Were Dead. Similar to Hard Cash, Wish You Were Dead makes you wonder what could have been, because all the moving parts are there for a great film. The heist is fun, and there’s a clear logical progression that any crime comedy thriller fan can get behind. There’s scheming and plotting, and each character has enough personality quirks to keep you interested in the premise.

The problem with Wish You Were Dead, which, unlike Hard Cash, is actually trying to be a comedy, is that the characters’ actions don’t always line up with their surroundings. The jokes and physical comedy are there, but the humor leans too lowbrow when, in my opinion, things should have been more deadpan. Wish You Were Dead is trying to capture a Very Bad Things kind of vibe, but it should have taken a page from the Naked Gun playbook.

Is It Even True Love If There’s No Insurance Fraud?

At face value, Wish You Were Dead has a hilarious setup and some great on-screen chemistry that makes you wish it stuck the landing. We’re first introduced to Melody (Elaine Hendrix), a man-murdering hit woman who loves eating copious amounts of chocolate. Her penchant for sweets reminds me of Rutger Hauer’s Harley Stone from 1992’s Split Second, but the similarities stop there. Melody’s specialty is taking on clients with unfaithful husbands, whacking them, and then moving on to the next job.

Her next job, however, is where things become complicated.

Melody is hired by Sally (Mary Steenburgen) and Tanya Rider (Tanya Allen), a mother-and-daughter team hatching a scheme to commit fraud against a lowly insurance adjuster named Mac (Cary Elwes), who has a million-dollar life insurance policy in his name. Sally and Tanya’s plan is simple: convince Mac that Sally is pregnant with his child so he’ll make her the beneficiary of his post-mortem payout, then hire Melody to finish him off.

Matters get even more complicated when Melody decides she’s actually in love with Mac and can’t, in good conscience, kill him. Instead, they team up with Mac’s older co-worker, Bruce (Christopher Lloyd), and hatch their own plan to evade Sally and Tanya, save Mac’s life, and run off with the money. Along the way, there are run-ins with Gene Simmons from KISS, who plays an eccentric hairdresser named Vinny, along with appearances from Billy Ray Cyrus and Robert Englund portraying a sassy preacher with Tourette syndrome.

Should Work But Doesn’t

Wish You Were Dead is absolutely dripping with potential, but it never feels fully realized because it’s so disjointed. I’m having trouble explaining why it’s disjointed, because the story beats are solid, and the escalating stakes ramp up naturally. Everybody you see on screen has acting chops and knows the assignment, but something about the assignment itself doesn’t work.

I may change my mind if I ever rewatch the film, because maybe I was just in a bad mood or something when I watched it, but it simply did not make me laugh. This movie has It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia levels of scheming. Elaine Hendrix’s crazy eyes when she’s mad, shooting daggers at Christopher Lloyd, should, in theory, be funny. But for some reason, it doesn’t gel. Mac is the perfect hapless victim of circumstance, caught between a murder plot and a budding romance with the person who was hired to kill him. This is all funny stuff, but it’s too quirky to be taken seriously, even as a comedy, and too overtly campy when it should have been just a little more deadpan.

Truth be told, Wish You Were Dead confuses me enough that I want to eventually watch it again and reassess my stance. All the ingredients for a superb crime comedy are there, but as a whole, the movie feels far less than the sum of its parts.

As of this writing, you can stream Wish You Were Dead for free on Tubi.

Justin Hartley only needed to know one thing about wife Sofia Pernas to realize he wanted to marry her.

During the Thursday, July 16, episode of the “I Am an Actor” podcast, Hartley, 49, played a game where he matched specific superlatives with former costars. He was asked which of his select coworkers were the “cleanest” — and Hartley chose Pernas, 36.

“She is very clean,” he said before cohosts Jon Brockett and Jamie Chung noted that he was aware of how organized Pernas was “intimately.”

Hartley recalled immediately knowing Pernas was The One for him.

“I was like, ‘Marry me,’” he added. “‘You are clean too? Marry me and we will work it out from there. It’ll be fine. Everything else will be fine.’”

Hartley and Pernas first worked together in 2015 on The Young and The Restless. Years later, they reconnected away from the cameras and exchanged vows in 2021.

“People write songs about [this kind of love]. People talk about it and I think you want to believe that everyone has that in their life,” Hartley shared on a May episode of Tommy DiDario‘s “I’ve Never Said This Before” podcast. “You want to believe that everyone gets to a point where they meet their soulmate or whatever you want to call it. It’s unfortunate that I think a lot of people don’t. That’s sad.”

Hartley pointed out how he has made it a priority to appreciate Pernas, saying, “When you do have it, you got to just hold on to it. It’s so special and fragile and in some ways rare, unfortunately. She’s everything and she’s fantastic.”

The Tracker star also shared the lessons he learned that he took into his marriage.

“I heard this from my stepdad where he said to me a long time ago, ‘You got to take care of your relationship and be very protective of who you surround yourself with and what relationships you surround yourself with,’” he explained.

Related: Justin Hartley and Sofia Pernas’ Sweetest Moments on the Red Carpet

As if Tracker‘s Justin Hartley and Sofia Pernas weren’t couple goals already, their sweet red carpet appearances prove it even more. Thank You! You have successfully subscribed. Subscribe to newsletters Enter your email Please enter a valid email. Subscribe By signing up, I agree to the Terms and Privacy Policy and to receive emails from […]

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“Because there will be people that are in your life right now that you think are your friends and they simply cannot handle your relationship. They can’t handle it,” Hartley continued. “It’s not necessarily sad but it is just true that when you have a relationship that you really care about [and] it could be a friendship, it could be with your mom or your dad or it could be with your dog.”

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He added: “Any relationship that you have with yourself, there are going to be people that you have to be careful with.”

Hartley clarified that the problem wasn’t always that about a loved one “trying to sabotage” a situation or relationship.

“They’re not bad people,” he said. “They just can’t handle it. And you don’t need to be hearing things like that. I’m not saying that you should be surrounded by sycophants and that’s healthy. But there’s certainly a difference between someone rooting for your love and rooting for your relationship vs. something who is jealous of what you have.”

Roomies! A huge cockroach landed on a reporter during a live broadcast on Tuesday, July 14, and her reaction is going viral. The KTLA reporter was broadcasting from Sherman Oaks, California, when the incident occurred.

RELATED: Clock It! K. Michelle Corrects Reporter’s Comments About Her Country Music Roots (VIDEO)

Huge Cockroach Lands On Reporter During Live Broadcast

KTLA reporter Rachel Menitoff was reporting on the current heatwave in California when a cockroach landed on her stomach.

According to The Los Angeles Times, parts of the state had heat reaching as high as 100 degrees. As Menitoff noted that the temperature was still in the 80s Tuesday night, the cockroach began crawling up her body.

The roach then scurried across her shoulder, neck, and chest before it flew away.

Menitoff did not flinch as the humongous cockroach crawled across her neck and chest.

Reactions To The Footage Are Unhinged

Pregnant Anne Hathaway was showered with love during her Thursday, July 16, appearance on the Today show.

Hathaway, 43, and The Odyssey costar Tom Holland appeared on Thursday’s broadcast to discuss the upcoming Christopher Nolan epic.

“’Anne Hathaway having five movies premiering this year and then announcing that she is pregnant is the level of productivity that men can’t achieve,’” anchor Craig Melvin began, reading a fan tweet about Hathaway’s recent filmography and her pregnancy with baby No. 3.

Hathaway, who announced last month that she is expecting her third little one with husband Adam Shulman, laughed off the fan comment.

“I mean, they are at a disadvantage,” she said on Thursday. “It’s just wild, it’s kinda crazy. I’ve been doing this for a very, very, very long time and I hope to do it for a long time to come. There’s peaks, there’s valleys, there’s everything in between.”

Hathaway continued, “The thing that’s so exciting is they’re films that audiences want to see. … And then yeah, to have this personal thing going on at the same time, it’s just amazing.”

@todayshow

We surprised Anne Hathaway with a “The Odyssey” inspired outfit for her baby! 🥹 Thank you to Dana from BitofWhimsyCrochet! 🧶

♬ original sound – TODAY Show

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Melvin, 47, further revealed that Today “wanted to celebrate” Hathaway’s personal milestone and presented her with a one-of-a-kind baby gift. The Oscar winner was given a basket chock full of Odyssey-themed accessories and knitted baby gear.

“Is that a little diaper? Who is talented enough to make all this?” she tearfully marveled, holding up a knit replica of a Trojan costume. “That is so sweet. [The artist] is so talented.”

Holland, 30, was equally excited by Hathaway’s haul, to which Melvin joked that the British star might get a similar gift “when you have your child.” (Holland confirmed earlier this year that he secretly married longtime partner Zendaya, who also appears in The Odyssey.)

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Related: Pregnant Anne Hathaway Looks Ethereal While Showing Off Baby Bump

Anne Hathaway looked angelic while showing off her growing baby bump. The actress, 43, stunned while posing for The Odyssey photo call in London on Sunday, July 5, wearing a Blumarine dress. The piece was part of David Koma’s Resort 2027 collection for Blumarine, featuring an off-the-shoulder neckline and ruffles falling down the sides. The […]

While Holland and Zendaya, 29, have not shared their hopes to eventually expand their family, Hathaway is ready for her brood’s new addition. (Hathaway and Shulman, 45, are already parents of sons Jonathan, 10, and Jack, 6.)

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“We knew what we were doing but … we were so shocked it went this way,” Hathaway quipped on Late Night With Seth Meyers earlier this week. “So, we’re calling this one our buzzer-beater.”

Hathaway and Shulman have not publicly revealed the sex of their unborn baby, though the actress already loves being a boy mom.

“The thing about boys is they don’t make any sense until you get the stamina up, then once you get your stamina up, they’re a breeze,” Hathaway joked to Access Hollywood at The Odyssey premiere in New York City. “The thing about boys to remember is that they have feelings, and so to make sure to make space for their feelings to help them learn how to name them. I think sometimes we think about that more in the realm of girls, but it’s just as important to give that emotional foundation to boys.”

Nolan Xavier Wells‘ mom, Christine Wonsley, got teary-eyed while speaking to the public in her first on-camera TikTok since his passing.

RELATED: UPDATE: Nolan Xavier Wells’ Mother Shares Emotional Tribute As Funeral Plans Are Revealed (PHOTO + VIDEO)

Nolan Xavier Wells’ Mother Gets Teary-Eyed While Speaking To The Public In First On-Camera TikTok Since His Passing

On Thursday, July 16, Christine Wonsley took to both Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook to share a clip with the public. Furthermore, Wonsley included the on-screen caption, “Hey Boobears,” and as the camera rolled, she began speaking.

Wonsley noted that the public likely didn’t expect to see her online. But she wanted to get on to “acknowledge” all of the public’s “love, support, [and] kindness.”

“I wanted to answer each and every one of you, and I probably will at some point, but right now, it’s just everything is so heavy. Everything is so heavy,” she said, getting teary-eyed. “Just been going through the motions, you know? I’m a healthcare provider, so I talk about grief a lot. [But] now to be on the other side of this is, um, it’s a lot.”

Wonsley explained that she lost her mom a few years ago. But the loss of her son has been “hard.”

“This grief, this pain, it’s different,” she said. “It’s insurmountable. And then it’s like you get this flood of emotions all at different times, and grief is so multi-layered. One second, I might be okay, and I can talk about things, and I can listen to the stories. And then the next minute, I am falling apart, and I feel like I can’t breathe. And I feel like there is an elephant just sitting on my chest.”

Wonsley explained that she knows grief is a “process,” and she has a “wonderful support system” and faith in God. But she wanted to let the public know she sees all of the messages of support. And she explained that she’s “thankful” to everyone. Before concluding, she noted that her son would want her to share her story with the world. So she plans to do so.

@christinefnp

Hey Boobears 🐻, I wanted to come and say THANK YOU for everything. Lord know we miss our son 🩵. Please remember to be patient and be kind you never know what people are going through. #JusticeForNolanWells #Forever18 #grief

♬ original sound – christinefnp

Social Media Users Share Continued Condolences To His Mom & Family

Social media users sent their support and condolences to Nolan Xavier Wells’ mom, Christine Wonsley, in her comment section.

What’s The Lastest In The Investigation Into The Passing Of Nolan Xavier Wells?

As The Shade Room previously reported, the body of 18-year-old Nolan Xavier Wells was found on the north side of Horn Island on July 6. This, after the teen had traveled to the island with white three white male friends on July 4. As questions remain on what happened to the teen, why his body was not discovered on July 5, questions also remain on whether and why he stayed on Horn Island when his friends were leaving.

Most recently, audio was released of Wells’ friend requesting help. This, for their boat allegedly malfunctioning as they left the island. GPS data has also been released, showing the boat’s apparent movements after it left the island.

RELATED: Newly Released Audio Shows Nolan Xavier Wells’ Friends Calling For Help After Boat Reportedly Malfunctioned, GPS Data Also Shared (LISTEN)

Batman: The Animated Series is not only one of the most influential superhero cartoons ever made, but also ranks among the greatest animated shows of all time. It follows Bruce Wayne (Kevin Conroy), a billionaire playboy living in Gotham City, and how he protects the people of Gotham City as the Caped Crusader, Batman. Its success spawned a sprawling universe of animated DC shows, from Superman: The Animated Series to Justice League/Justice League Unlimited, and it still stands as the definitive version of The Dark Knight for the pre-Christopher Nolan generation.

While Batman is usually seen as a solo hero, he has a fair few allies in Gotham who help him deal with the various super-criminals that plague the city. Some of them are trained officers of the law, others are vigilante crime fighters like him, and others are just regular civilians who help where they can. These are the best heroes in Batman: The Animated Series that aren’t Batman himself, proving that Gotham might be crime-infested, but it also has numerous good guys.

Janet Van Dorn

Image via Warner Bros. Animation

After Harvey Dent became the criminal Two-Face, he was replaced as District Attorney by Janet Van Dorn (Lynette Mettey and Stephanie Zimbalist). She makes it clear that she does not approve of Batman’s methods and believes that he should be put on trial for his role in creating the numerous villains in his rogue’s gallery. Ironically, she ends up having to defend Batman in a court setup by his villains.

Van Dorn only has a major role in one episode, but in her limited screen time, she goes from being one of Batman’s most vocal critics to a respected ally because they both want the same thing. In the end, Van Dorn realizes that Batman’s villains were responsible for their own fates. She is more than willing to admit when she is wrong, but it also strengthens her dedication to creating a world where Batman is no longer needed.

Dr. Leslie Thompkins

Image via Warner Bros. Animation

In her youth, Dr. Leslie Thompkins (Diana Muldaur) studied medicine alongside Thomas Wayne (Kevin Conroy). Upon his death, Leslie did what she could for a young Bruce, and in time, even became privy to his secret identity. These days, she mainly runs the Thomas Wayne Memorial Clinic, but whenever Batman needs medical aid, she’ll be there.

While not one of his strongest allies, Leslie always comes through for Batman when needed. Though she doesn’t always approve of Batman’s actions, she recognizes the good he does, and offers a firm voice of reason who can help to ground him in times of need. Beyond her medical skills, she also helps Bruce keep yearly appointments at the site of his parents’ murder, which again goes to show the emotional bond between them.

Simon Trent

Image via Warner Bros. Animation

Early in his career as an actor, Simon Trent (Adam West) nailed the lead role on a show called The Gray Ghost, which Bruce used to watch with his dad. Unfortunately, he got typecast after the show ended, and after years of no work, he had to sell off his memorabilia to pay rent. His luck changes when Batman seeks him out to ask for help against a new criminal using the plot of a Gray Ghost episode for their schemes.

Within the show, Simon is a heroic individual because he’s an actor with no combat training. Yet, when push comes to shove, he chooses to help Batman save the city, demonstrating the qualities of a true hero. In a meta sense, the fact that he is voiced by Adam West, star of the 1966 Batman show, adds even more to the character’s fascinating lore, as it’s one generation of Batman joining forces with another.

Selina Kyle

Image via Warner Bros. Animation

Originally a Gotham City socialite, Selina Kyle (Adrienne Barbeau) found herself drawn to animal rights activism and the thrill of breaking the law. Thus, she became the cat thief known as Catwoman, which brought her into contact with Batman. The two have a rather complex relationship: they love one another, but their opposite lifestyles mean they can never truly be together.

While originally introduced as a criminal, Selina quickly grows into an antihero role, an approach that has become a key aspect of her overall characterization across different mediums. The thrill of the heist means she can never truly reform, but she comes to the aid of Batman and Batgirl (Melissa Gilbert) on several occasions.

Renee Montoya

Image via Warner Bros. Animation

Renee Montoya (Ingrid Oliu and Liane Schirmer) is one of the newer members of the Gotham City Police Department. She worked alongside Detective Harvey Bullock (Robert Costanzo) and had several run-ins with Batman. Over time, she proves herself a reliable officer and is promoted to detective by the time of The New Batman Adventures.

Renee is one of several characters from Batman: The Animated Series to appear in the comics, and though not as well-developed as the likes of Harley Quinn (Arleen Sorkin), there’s a lot to love. She’s as brave and selfless as you’d expect an officer to be, and it’s rewarding to see her grow from a rookie cop to a detective as the show goes on. She’s also not above a few snarky comments or other moments of levity.

Barbara Gordon

Image via Warner Bros. Animation

The daughter of Police Commissioner James Gordon (Bob Hastings), Barbara first got involved with Batman when she helped The Dark Knight stop the rogue AI H.A.R.D.A.C (Jeff Bennett) from replacing humans with robots. Later, her father is framed for associating with crime lord Rupert Thorne (John Vernon), and when Batman refuses to show up at a rally protesting his innocence, Barbara dresses in the cape and cowl herself. This leads to her getting partially unmasked, and when the media begins asking who this new Batgirl is, Barbara ends up embracing the identity.

Batgirl only has a few appearances in the costume before becoming a main character in The New Batman Adventures. In the few times we do get to see her, Barbara proves herself to be a kind, capable heroine worthy of joining the Bat Family, and no stranger to witty retorts. Even without the costume, Barbara is a capable detective and crime fighter, which would lead to her taking her father’s place in Batman Beyond.

Dick Grayson

Image via Warner Bros. Animation

As a child, Dick Grayson (Joey Simmrin and Loren Lester) was part of a circus act with his parents known as The Flying Graysons. That all changed when a mobster named Tony Zucco (Thomas F. Wilson) sabotaged their act and killed Dick’s parents. Bruce Wayne took pity on Dick, adopted him, and eventually trained him to become Batman’s partner, Robin.

Robin had sporadic episodes in the early seasons before becoming a regular character in the later ones. As can be expected from any good sidekick, he complements Batman with his youthful energy and slightly more rebellious nature. His grievances with Bruce’s parenting and leadership style eventually see him split to become the solo hero Nightwing, but he’ll still be there when the Bat Family needs him.

Harvey Bullock

Image via Warner Bros. Animation

Next to Jim Gordon, the best officer on the force is Detective Harvey Bullock. At first glance, this might seem strange, since he is a slob of a man with a huge chip on his shoulder and a habit of antagonizing people. He also distrusts Batman, and the first episode, “On Leather Wings,” has him lead a task force to try and apprehend The Dark Knight after the actions of Man-Bat (Marc Singer and Frank Welker) make Gotham believe its protector has gone rogue.

Despite his rough exterior, Harvey is a true officer of the law. He’s fully committed to protecting his city and gets enraged at even the slightest suggestion that he might be accepting bribes. Sometimes, he’s even willing to swallow his pride and ask Batman for help, leading to the two forming a grudging respect for one another, even if Harvey still suspects the worst.

James Gordon

Image via Warner Bros. Animation

The main reason why Batman is able to operate at all is thanks to Commissioner James Gordon. As head of the GCPD, it’s his job to ensure the people of Gotham City are safe, and he realizes that working with Batman is the best way to do it. He even had a bat signal installed above the police headquarters so he could contact The Dark Knight when needed.

Jim stands as a beacon of light in the darkness of Gotham. He does everything by the book, is fair to his officers, gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, and knows when to look the other way if doing so is better for Gotham as a whole. His relationship with Batman is built on mutual trust and respect, and he never once suspects that Batman would bring harm to the city.

Alfred Pennyworth

Image via Warner Bros

Once a member of the British Secret Service, Alfred Pennyworth (Clive Revill and Efrem Zimbalist Jr.) moved to America and entered the service of the Wayne Family as their butler. He became a surrogate father to Bruce after his parents’ deaths, and remained by his side when he became Batman. Though long past his prime, Alfred can still hold his own when needed and is always there for Bruce and other members of the Bat Family.

Alfred’s heroism manifests through his unwavering loyalty. He never once betrays his master’s secrets, operates the Bat Computer when Bruce is out in the city, and anytime Bruce second-guesses himself, Alfred is there to help ground his thoughts. He’s also got the best dry wit by far from anyone in the series, reacting to even the strangest of situations with a stiff upper lip and a sarcastic quip, all spoken in a manner befitting a gentleman of his status.

General Hospital reveals Portia Robinson (Brook Kerr) just gave birth to her baby. And of course, Jordan Ashford (Tanisha Harper) helped deliver the adorable little boy after harassing Portia into labor.

We’re going to have Curtis Ashford (Donnell Turner) meeting his newborn son very soon. And I’m just wondering if there is one more big twist in store. We’re going to discuss the possibility that Aunt Stella Henry (Vernee Watson) tampered with Portia’s paternity test.

General Hospital: Portia & Jordan Work Together

Now, I know a lot of fans would be excited if it turns out that is not Curtis’ kid. After Jordan came in hot, spilling trash about how Portia is to blame for Curtis facing criminal and civil charges, that’s when Portia went into labor and then Jordan showed back up to help deliver Portia’s son.

And it’s a good thing, too, because Portia’s been pregnant since last August. That baby was so overdue. But she wasn’t happy to see Jordan bust back into her house. But the choice between Jordan being there or Portia giving birth alone made her push through her dislike of Curtis’ girlfriend. So Jordan called an ambulance, but they must have gotten lost in traffic or on Route 98.

So her helping Portia give birth was potentially this game-changing moment for Jordan and Portia. But to be honest, I don’t think she owes Jordan any grace after the way she’s acted. Because Portia’s right. Curtis doesn’t deserve any mercy considering he’s not sorry that he attacked Isaiah Gannon (Sawandi Wilson). Zero remorse and is planning to attack him again in court, just not physically.

Stella Tries to Chase Isaiah Away on GH

So, I’m sure the ambulance shows up soon to take Portia and her newborn son to General Hospital. And this week, Curtis goes up to General Hospital and Portia says, “Meet your son.” So, when Isaiah shows up to check on Portia, we’re going to see Stella trying to chase Isaiah off.

And Aunt Stella tells him to give Curtis and Portia a minute. But it doesn’t look like Isaiah listens to Stella or gives them literally just a minute because Isaiah interrupts Portia and Curtis while they are cooing over their little bundle of joy. So I’m guessing Isaiah showing up may trigger Curtis.

Hopefully he’ll behave. A GH spoiler for Summer says that Isaiah and Curtis temporarily put aside their differences for the sake of family. So, things might be a little tense, but with Portia’s little baby boy just born and Curtis over the moon happy, I’m just wondering if there is a twist ahead.

General Hospital: Stella’s Meddling Past and Paternity Test Theory

Because if you remember when Portia and Curtis’s marriage was falling apart, Stella urged both of them not to give up. She was kind of relentless. And we all know Stella loves to meddle in other people’s business, especially Curtis’. But Stella really, really wanted Curtis and Portia’s marriage to work.

Stella wanted it to work, even after Curtis and Portia had completely given up on that marriage. When Stella noticed that Portia and Isaiah seemed a little closer than boss and employee, we saw Stella going into busybody mode. And she was questioning Portia about how close she was to Isaiah. At the time, Portia assured Stella that she and Isaiah were just friends.

But after Curtis walked out on Portia, when she said, “If you go, we’re done,” that was when she hooked up with Isaiah. But their marriage was over. And Curtis was the one who triggered the split by walking out. So when Aunt Stella found out that Portia was pregnant, she was happy, assuming automatically that it was Curtis’ kid.

Once Stella knew Portia had a bun in the oven, she was even more adamant that Curtis and Portia needed to save their marriage for the baby’s sake. And then, of course, thanks to Willow Tait’s (Katelyn MacMullen) attempted murder trial, Alexis Davis (Nancy Lee Grahn) dragged out on the stand that Portia had an alibi because she was with Isaiah that night.

Of course, Stella wasn’t happy to hear Portia moved on with Isaiah. And then there was the paternity test anxiety with Portia not knowing whether Curtis or Isaiah was her baby’s father.

Portia’s Hopes Dashed on GH

While Portia was very nervous about the results of the test, Isaiah was quite excited at the prospect of being a father. And of course, Curtis was acting out already. Then when Portia got her paternity test results, she said, “Curtis is the dad.” He was so happy and so was Stella.

But Isaiah was disappointed and Portia was too because that meant eighteen more years of Curtis in her life being annoying. Stella was excited though and I’m sure she would have been thrilled if Portia and Curtis reconciled and put their marriage back together. But he’s locked in with Jordan and Portia’s falling for Isaiah. She was basically living at his cabin until Curtis handed her the house.

So, picture this. Stella was extremely invested in that baby being Curtis’. And Stella knows that Portia cheated Curtis out of the chance to raise Trina Robinson (Tabyana Ali) by telling someone that he was Trina’s father. So maybe Stella thought Portia owed Curtis. Plus, Stella was really bothered by her assumption that Portia was cheating with Isaiah. I don’t agree with that assumption.

General Hospital: The Dissolve?

Portia and Curtis were married only on paper. He walked out on his marriage to Portia and he knew it was over and it was all because of his emotional cheating with Jordan. And in fact, Portia told Curtis, “If you walk out the door, our marriage is done.” He looked at Portia, he walked out. So, Curtis made the choice. It was done. But in Stella’s mind, Portia was unfaithful. Curtis’s mind, too.

So, Stella may think Isaiah didn’t deserve to be a father, and her precious Curtis did. And with that in mind, it’s easy to see why Stella might have rigged that paternity test. And don’t forget, she works at the hospital. She has access. She might have been able to slip into the lab, alter the results, and might have thought Curtis deserved to be a dad more than Isaiah did.

Stella’s History as a Busybody on General Hospital

And Stella might have wanted to punish Isaiah for sleeping with Curtis’ wife. Stella might even justify it in her mind that it’s the best thing for everyone. And this would not be the first time Stella has meddled in a major way. Do you remember when Jordan and Curtis were getting a divorce? Stella thought that that shouldn’t be happening. And Jordan signed the divorce papers. She put them in her outgoing mail in her office back when she was police commissioner.

Stella really wanted Curtis and Jordan to stay together. So, Stella stole the divorce papers. She put that envelope in her purse so the divorce wouldn’t be finalized. And eventually Stella was like, “Okay, they’re not getting back together.” She was going to mail them, but then she had a stroke and she spilled coffee on the envelope and it was tossed out, I think, at Bobbie’s Diner. It didn’t come out until right before Curtis and Portia were getting married and Curtis had to refile the divorce because he and Jordan both thought it went through.

Paternity Bombshell Coming on General Hospital?

So yeah, given Stella’s access at General Hospital and her tendency to meddle, I think certainly she might have tampered with Portia’s paternity test. And with the baby born, there could be a medical crisis coming and that could reveal that Curtis scientifically can’t be the dad and that Isaiah is, you know, blood type, some kind of matching for a donor, one of those kinds of things.

And at this point, given how toxic Curtis has been, assaulting Isaiah, raging around like a jerk, a lot of fans would love to find out Curtis isn’t really the dad of that cute little baby boy. But even if Stella did some tampering, I wouldn’t expect it to come out right away. For a big twist like that, it feels like a sweeps moment.

July sweeps ends on Monday, and our next sweeps is November. I think that would give us time to get through Curtis’s criminal trial, for Isaiah to drag Curtis into civil court for damages, for the injuries he did in his assault, and for Curtis to make demands on Portia about the baby.

I’m sure he’s going to get high-handed and try and tell Portia that Isaiah shouldn’t be around their baby because he left the scene of the accident. Lots more nonsense because Curtis is certain with zero evidence that Isaiah left the scene of the accident that Jordan caused to start with. So, we’ll have to wait and see. But karma may be coming for Curtis compliments of Aunt Stella being exposed if she did this thing.

By TeeJay Small
| Published 39 seconds ago

Discussions about physical media have been popping up constantly in recent months, as film fans lament the frustrating tedium of streaming services, AI upscales, and licensing agreements that strip you of your digital purchases without your consent. Now, Sony has ignited a fire in the hearts and minds of gamers, by announcing that they’ll be doing away with physical games completely. Per a report in Polygon, the PlayStation 6 will have no disc drive, and newly developed games will be bought exclusively on the digital PS Store, or will be sold in the form of promo codes inside physical game cases.

The Digital Way Lacks A Physical Tray

For some video game enthusiasts, the writing has been on the wall for a long time. I distinctly recall the 2020 release of the PlayStation 5, which launched with a digital only option at a reduced price. Since I’m kind of a hyper-minimalist, I considered purchasing the console sans-disc tray for myself, before being ultimately swayed toward the standard version by my friends. In the years since, I’ve occasionally borrowed games or popped in DVDs, but the disc drive has largely been decorative in my home.

As far as Sony can tell, I’m not a unique customer. Their 2025 consumer report says that physical games accounted for just three percent of all sales in the 2024 fiscal year, meaning a vast majority of gamers have shifted away from collecting discs, in favor of cloud-based game streaming. The company seems to view this trend as a tacit endorsement of their oncoming policy, with reps stating “This is a natural direction for Sony Interactive Entertainment to adapt to consumer trends as the general preference for digital media significantly outpaces physical disc. This transition will enable us to align more closely with how most of our community prefers to access and play games today.”

While Sony’s numbers support the decision, you’d never know it by logging onto social media. Video game fans far and wide have taken the news with agonizing fury, alongside calls to boycott, or declarations that the PlayStation 6 will never join their roster of consoles. This news has also broken just as many collectors have begun a pivot back to physical media, in order to preserve their favorite games. One of the major drawbacks of digital downloads is that you never truly “own” them, since the digital dashboard could pull their license or revoke your access at any time.

Is There A Best Of Both Worlds Scenario?

On one hand, it makes sense for the company to stop pumping money into mass-producing discs, cases, and supplementing GameStop storefronts around the globe. That cash could arguably be better spent refining their servers, reducing lag, or building greater assets for gamers to enjoy. On the other hand, it seems absurd that gamers of the future will be expected to spend upwards of $100 for a game that they can’t hold in their hands, bring to a friend’s place, or know for a fact that they can log back onto in 10 years’ time.

Sony claims that the switch will take place in January of 2028, which perhaps hints at a Christmas 2027 release for the still-unconfirmed PlayStation 6. If fans continue to rage against the machine, it’s possible that Sony still has time to pull a Sonic The Hedgehog and backtrack on this policy before launch. Either way, the decline of physical game sales makes it a null point, since even the most ravenous of collectors won’t be able to make it profitable to sell them at scale.

I’d say the best case scenario for physical collectors is a sort of Criterion-style system, where Sony can release special edition discs of their most popular games in small batches. Barring that, we may be entering a fully-digital gaming era, for better or worse.

Crystal Hefner is pushing back after comedian Jon Lovitz publicly criticized her for expressing regret about marrying Playboy founder Hugh Hefner.

Instead of letting the comments pass, the former Playmate accused Lovitz of ignoring his own long association with the Playboy Mansion while questioning her decision to finally speak openly about a chapter of her life that continues to draw public fascination.

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The latest dispute began after Crystal Hefner shared a candid Instagram video reflecting on her marriage to Hugh Hefner, whom she wed on New Year’s Eve in 2012. Their relationship remained under constant public scrutiny because of their 60-year age difference, and the marriage lasted until Hefner’s death in September 2017 at age 91.

Among those reacting to her video was comedian Jon Lovitz, a longtime guest at the Playboy Mansion who also attended the couple’s wedding. Lovitz challenged Crystal’s comments by pointing to the financial benefits she received during and after the marriage.

“Do you regret the house he bought for you to live in, after his death?” Lovitz wrote. “And keeping the money, after you sold it? And all the times your mother was at the mansion? And do you regret all he did for you? And do you regret leaving him and then coming back to marry him?”

Rather than ignore the criticism, Crystal responded through a statement to the Daily Mail, arguing that her reflections had been misunderstood.

“People often reduce my marriage to assumptions about financial benefit, but that overlooks the reality of what I experienced,” she said. “My reflections aren’t motivated by money or resentment, but by honesty. I’m at a point in my life where I’m no longer afraid to speak openly about my own experiences, and I think there’s value in that conversation.”

Crystal Hefner Says Women Should Not Be Expected To Stay Silent

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Crystal went further by suggesting Lovitz was overlooking the culture that surrounded the Playboy Mansion during the years he regularly visited.

She said, “It’s disappointing to see someone who spent time enjoying that environment criticize a woman for speaking honestly about her own life. For years, there was an expectation that women should stay quiet to protect powerful men or preserve a certain image. I’m simply no longer willing to do that.”

She also took a personal swipe at the comedian, recalling an incident involving his rescue dog during visits to the mansion.

“We had also asked that Jon’s adorable rescue dog, Jerry, not come back to the mansion because he repeatedly urinated on the curtains and damaged the property,” Crystal said. “Whether that contributed to his feelings toward me, I can’t say. I don’t have any ill will toward Jon, and I genuinely wish him well.”

The exchange has renewed attention on Crystal’s evolving public narrative. Since Hugh Hefner’s death, she has steadily distanced herself from the glamorous image associated with Playboy, particularly after publishing her 2024 memoir “Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself.”

In the book, she described the emotional toll of life inside the Playboy Mansion and discussed experiences that challenged its carefully cultivated public image.

Crystal Hefner Explains Why She Regrets Marrying Hugh Hefner

Crystal’s latest comments stemmed from an Instagram video in which she openly admitted she regrets marrying the Playboy founder.

“Do I regret marrying Hugh Hefner? Of course I do,” she said. “I regret being in my mid-20s and thinking that marrying one of the most famous men in the world meant I had finally made it, that I finally mattered or had value.”

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She continued by reflecting on how the relationship affected her sense of identity, noting, “I regret the years I spent making myself smaller so his world could feel bigger. I regret learning to stay quiet when I could have spoken. I regret the version of myself that I had to abandon just to survive in that environment. I regret that it took me as long as it did to understand what was actually happening – like years.”

Her comments echo themes she has discussed in recent interviews while promoting her memoir, where she has described rebuilding her confidence and creating a life outside the Playboy brand that made her famous.

Crystal Says She Is Finished Living Someone Else’s Story

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Crystal Hefner concluded her video by acknowledging that many people expected her to maintain the image she had carried for years.

“A lot of people” expected her to “stay in the story that was written for me – the grateful young wife, the lucky girl,” she said.

She added, “But I’m done living in that story. Yes, I regret it, and saying that out loud is one of the most honest things I’ve done.”

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Whether her remarks continue to spark criticism or support, Crystal’s response to Lovitz signals that she is no longer willing to let others define her years at the Playboy Mansion.

Instead, she appears determined to frame that chapter on her own terms, even if it means revisiting one of the most scrutinized relationships in modern celebrity culture.

Hugh Hefner’s Estate And Playboy Legacy Continue To Draw Attention

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Financial questions have long followed discussions about Crystal Hefner’s marriage.

Before the wedding, she and Hugh Hefner signed a prenuptial agreement. Following his death, reports indicated she received a $5 million cash payment along with a four-bedroom Hollywood Hills home purchased for her in 2013. She later sold the property for about $5 million.

Those financial details have frequently resurfaced whenever Crystal speaks about her marriage, but she insists they are not the reason she has chosen to revisit that period of her life.

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Playboy itself has also undergone significant change since Hugh Hefner’s passing. Once one of America’s most influential media brands, the company shifted away from its traditional magazine business while expanding into licensing, digital ventures and lifestyle branding.

Meanwhile, debates over Hugh Hefner’s legacy intensified following documentaries and memoirs from former Playmates who described their experiences inside the mansion in sharply different ways.

By TeeJay Small
| Published 8 seconds ago

If you grew up in the early 2000s, there’s a good chance you’ve spent hours glued to the TV watching Malcolm In The Middle. The series, which aired from 2000 through 2006, spawned dozens of memorable characters, as evidenced by the success of the recent revival special Life’s Still Unfair. If you ask 10 Malcolm In The Middle fans to list their favorite character, there’s a good chance you’ll walk away with 10 different answers. Even still, there’s one single character that is solely responsible for making the series possible, thanks to an issue with behind-the-scenes logistics. The character in question, Francis, only exists because of child labor laws.

From Workaround To Fan-Favorite Character

Most children who watched Malcolm In The Middle as it aired had no idea about television production schedules or A plot and B plot mapping. But, rewatching the series as an adult, you can really see Francis’ misadventures sticking out like a sore thumb. In most episodes of the show, the A plot centers on the three main kids, Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey, as they rebel against their mother and nearly send their father into cardiac arrest. Meanwhile, Francis is off in military school, or an Alaskan outpost, or a dude ranch run by a clueless but lovable German national. Sure, Bryan Cranston‘s Hal occasionally had solo adventures while he blew off every single Friday work day for a decade, but his stories were still generally tied to the kids in some way.

The reason that Francis even exists in the show relates to the main kids’ legal prohibition to film for long hours. As Reese actor Justin Berfield explained on an episode of The Joe Vulpis Podcast, “When the show first started, Frankie [Malcolm] and I were like 13, 14, Erik [Dewey] was eight. So the time that we could film on set was so short. So we could only be on the set for like nine hours or 10 hours maybe at that point … Three of those nine or ten hours had to be in school … Then with a lunch break it’s like less, so you basically have like five hours of actual filming that you can do with kids. That’s a very short day for a production.”

When questioned about how Francis’ storylines differed from the main cast, Berfield confirmed “The Francis character was brought in specifically for that purpose because they had to have something to film for the rest of the day … They filled it with the Francis character completely separated outside of the household.” Looking back with this information, it almost seems insane that the production team behind Malcolm In The Middle were capable of delivering dozens of episodes per year under these strict guidelines.

Though he may have been created out of a production necessity, Francis, as portrayed by Christopher Masterson, blossomed over the course of the show, and emerged as one of the greatest characters in TV history. His adventures allowed him to exhibit tremendous growth, going from a screw-up teen with a penchant for prodding authority, to a hard-working married man. As we see in Life’s Still Unfair, he’s still got major mommy issues decades on, but nobody’s perfect.