Nikki Glaser Admits She Nearly Stole From Taylor Swift’s Wedding

Nikki Glaser left Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s star-studded wedding with unforgettable memories, but she nearly brought home something much more tangible. The comedian revealed that she came dangerously close to stealing a cake topper designed to resemble Kelce after spending 12 hours inside the couple’s highly private Madison Square Garden celebration. Glaser shared the hilarious confession during her Friday night performance at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, admitting that the small decoration appeared easy enough to slip into her purse.

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The 42-year-old comedian recalled finding herself near the wedding cake late in the celebration while most of the guests were drinking and dancing.

“I got really close to stealing something from it because I was, like, ‘I want one cool artifact from this,’” Glaser described. “It was late in the night. Everyone’s kind of drunk, dancing on the dance floor. And I’m back by the cake, vaping. I look up at the cake and on the top tier, where the two little cake toppers are, it’s just Travis.”

According to Entertainment Weekly, the topper representing Swift was already missing by the time Glaser approached the cake. The comedian grabbed the remaining figure and briefly considered keeping it as a souvenir from what she described as the greatest night of her life as a Swiftie.

“I reach up, I get it. I’m two seconds from putting it in my purse. It’s almost in there, and then I hear Tom Cruise be like, ‘Put me down!’” she wisecracked, referring to the “Top Gun” actor’s reported five-foot-seven height. “I’m, like, ‘Oh my, God!’”

Glaser ultimately abandoned her plan and left the Kelce cake topper behind.

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Swift and Kelce exchanged vows on July 3 at Madison Square Garden in New York City. The massive celebration reportedly included approximately 1,000 guests, many of whom were among the biggest names in entertainment.

Adam Sandler officiated the ceremony, while guests reportedly included Selena Gomez, Bradley Cooper, Miranda Lambert, Jennifer Lopez, Tom Cruise and Adam Scott.

Glaser opened her Las Vegas set by cautiously acknowledging that she had attended the closely guarded event. “I want to say that I went to a wedding at Madison Square Garden three months ago,” Glaser told the audience. “I just want to talk about it a little bit. Allegedly, I actually can’t say that I was there legally or else a sniper dot will appear on my forehead.”

Wedding Guests Were Required To Surrender Their Phones

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Glaser said she followed the invitation’s strict instructions and signed a nondisclosure agreement intended to preserve the couple’s privacy. “I didn’t tell anyone, obviously, I was too scared to,” she admitted.

Guests were also required to hand over their cell phones before entering the ceremony, preventing them from photographing or recording the celebration. The no-phone policy left Glaser completely unreachable for approximately 12 hours.

“So, I go to the wedding. I am in there for 12 hours, and none of my family or friends know where I am. I’m off the grid for 12 hours,” Glaser said. “They’re texting me, my location’s off. They all thought I killed myself because I wasn’t invited. I was actually inside, and I had nothing to show for it because I had to turn in my phone.”

The lack of photographs partly explained why Glaser became so tempted by the cake topper. She wanted something physical to prove that the surreal night had actually happened. “I go in, and I have no pictures. It sucks so much because it was the best night of my life as a Swiftie, like, the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. The purest love I’ve ever witnessed, and I have no pictures [and] no evidence.”

Nikki Glaser Became Jennifer Lopez’s Unofficial Assistant

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Glaser may not have secured a souvenir, but she did spend part of the evening with Lopez. Many of the celebrity guests reportedly attended without their usual entourages. There were few plus-ones, publicists or assistants accompanying them inside the venue, creating an unusual dynamic for such a high-profile gathering.

“J.Lo was alone,” the stand-up comic recalled. “I kind of know J.Lo, so I was like, ‘Hey!’ And she was like, ‘Oh my God, Nikki,’ and she threw her coat at me.”

Glaser jokingly found herself looking after the singer’s belongings before the pair visited the restroom together. “I was just kind of carrying her things around,” she said, adding that they hit up the restroom together. “We were, like, pals all night.”

Nikki Glaser Has Been A Swiftie For More Than A Decade

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Glaser’s connection to Swift dates back to the singer’s “Red Tour,” which began in 2013. Her admiration grew substantially during the “Eras Tour.” Glaser previously told Vogue that she attended 22 shows during the record-breaking tour.