The Greatest Star Trek Icon Just Created A Vulgar Heavy Metal Band

By Chris Snellgrove
| Published 20 seconds ago

To this day, the greatest Star Trek icon is William Shatner. As Captain Kirk, he taught all of us the importance of boldly going where no man had gone before. In many ways, the actor has led his life by this philosophy: after dominating sci-fi, he killed it in other genres, including cop dramas, legal procedurals, documentaries, and so much more. Heck, he even headlined some infectiously charming commercials for Priceline. After a while, it looked like there might be no new worlds for Shatner to conquer. However, he’s about to boldly go into his own final frontier with the project of a lifetime: leading his own heavy metal band!

I’ll be the first to admit that this news feels like something out of a fever dream. But as William Shatner’s colleague Avery Brooks once said so memorably on Deep Space Nine, “it’s real!” Shatner has assembled a heavy metal band called The *uckers, and they will be making their debut on September 20th at Chicago’s Riot Fest. This will be the group’s first live performance, but in a truly bizarre twist, their appearance took nearly two decades to arrange.

Captain Kirk Gets Heavy

While Riot Fest is mostly about established musical acts, they have a charming tradition of trying to woo various celebrities into attending and performing. For example, after a decade of increasingly wacky invites, the festival eventually convinced Full House star John Stamos into performing alongside the Beach Boys. Similarly, Riot Fest has courted Shatner for the last 17 years. He finally said yes, but instead of performing with a well-known band, the Star Trek legend decided to assemble his own group, the equivalent of a musical away team. 

Apparently, both the actor and the festival know how silly it is to have William Shatner playing heavy metal, and they collectively decided to lean into the humor by publishing a hilariously outlandish rider by the actor. The rider includes demands for Chicago to let Shatner co-anchor the local weather, name some local food after him, let him sing “Take Me Out To the Ball Game” at a baseball game, and name a boat after the actor that he can then captain. 

Let’s Open Up This Pit!

Additionally, the rider requests a dressing room themed as “Shatner’s Shag Shack,” a bunch of adoptable puppies, an intro video from Gwar, and a bunch of Faygo that is not to be shared with the Insane Clown Posse. Oh, and he wants his artist’s golf cart replaced by a Delorean. Believe it or not, these are just a few of the winking, outrageous, and almost certainly fake demands.

Obviously, most of this is tongue-in-cheek, and as a Star Trek fan, it’s great to see Shatner playing along. But he also expressed some real sincerity in an official statement, writing that, “I’ve always believed that music, like space, is about exploration. Riot Fest is exactly the kind of place where anything can happen.” Continuing, he wrote, We’re bringing volume, intensity, and a few surprises. I can’t wait to share this experience with the fans.”

Somehow, Mr. Tambourine Man Returned

While Shatner is new to heavy metal, he’s not new to music, having released several albums in the past. Instead of taking on Riot Festival solo, the Star Trek actor assembled a band, The *uckers, consisting of several well-known musicians. This includes Marcus Nand on guitar, Phil Soussan on bass, Britt Lightning on guitar, and Fred Aching on drums. Together, they will play reimagined songs from Shatner’s musical history as well as songs from their amusingly titled debut album, What the F Is Heavy Metal. As he told People, “That’s the name of the album because I know nothing or didn’t know anything until I found out how little I do know.”

Want to see William Shatner make his inexplicable heavy metal debut? Be sure to save up your latinum and snag tickets to Chicago’s Riot Fest, which runs from September 18-20. On Instagram, the actor claims it will be an event that fans will want to tell their grandchildren about. We’re inclined to agree: one way or another, Shatner beaming into his metal era is something nobody will ever forget!