The Hottest Blockbuster Of The ‘90s Should Have Been A Masterpiece

By Chris Snellgrove
| Published 17 seconds ago

You ever think about Will Smith’s greatest mistake? I’m not talking about his marriage, though I’ll probably go to my grave still trying to figure out how that sh*tshow actually works. No, I’m talking about Wild Wild West, the 1999 blockbuster which became a critical and commercial flop. On paper, this movie had everything going for it. The film had a huge budget, ambitious special effects, and was directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, the man who brought us ‘90s bangers like The Addams Family and Men in Black. Speaking of which, Wild Wild West starred Will Smith, whom Men in Black had cemented as a bankable action star.

However, this film was absolutely dead on arrival. Over on Rotten Tomatoes, it has an abysmal 16 percent critical score, which is low enough to make recent flops like Supergirl look downright good. So, what the heck happened here? How did a summer blockbuster from the hottest director and actor of the ‘90s become the cringiest punchline in all of Hollywood? It all began with a script in which four (!!!) screenwriters couldn’t figure out what kind of movie they wanted to make. And it ended with a fight against a giant mechanical spider that a producer spent years trying to inexplicably turn into the greatest Big Bad of the ‘90s.

Have Gun, Will Babble

Wild Wild West is a loose adaptation of the ‘60s show The Wild Wild West. The plot involves an Army captain (played by Will Smith) and a US Marshal (played by Kevin Kline) hunting down the ex-Confederate general who killed the captain’s parents (played by Ted Levine). Along the way, they find a bigger foe: a former Confederate science genius (played by Kenneth Branagh) turned technological terrorist. Our two heroes are ultimately the only ones who can stop this mad scientist’s plan to divide America, effectively finishing the Confederate Army’s goal of destroying the United States as we know it.

Based on the cast, Wild Wild West seemed like it would be a winner. Its primary star was Will Smith, the beloved Fresh Prince of Bel-Air alumnus who had become a breakout movie star thanks to the success of films like Men in Black and Independence Day. His costar was Kevin Kline, a veteran performer and Oscar winner. Their Big Bad was played by Kenneth Branagh, a man who has dedicated his life to bringing Shakespeare’s most complex dramas to life. Heck, it even starred Salma Hayek, the talented hottie that nobody could take their eyes off in From Dusk Till Dawn.

How The West Was (Not) Fun

Throw in the fact that this was a high-budget ($170 million) Western in a decade where cowboy movies (like Unforgiven, Tombstone, and The Quick and the Dead) made a huge comeback, and it seemed like Wild Wild West was destined for greatness. But the movie lost money and was absolutely bodied by the critics. Where did everything go wrong? As usual, it started with the writing. This blockbuster inexplicably had four different screenwriters, and it often seemed like they were all tugging the film in different directions. This was most apparent with the humor in Wild Wild West, which oscillated from completely tone deaf to completely cringe.

The biggest change from the original TV show was making Captain Jim West a Black man. That was downright progressive for the ‘90s, but the writers then proceeded to add the worst racial humor to the film. For example, Will Smith’s character escapes a lynch mob by doing a bizarre smooth-talking bit involving complimenting his attacker’s Klan-style hoods. Oh, and when one of them says they want to teach his character a lesson, Smith sarcastically replies, “Don’t grab a white lady’s boobies at the big redneck dance?” There’s nothing inherently wrong with racial humor, but Wild Wild West makes the cardinal mistake of being just painfully unfunny with it.

The South Will Raze Again

Another bizarre element is how hard this movie tried to bite the style of James Bond, a character who had his own ‘90s revival with GoldenEye. Unfortunately, it sucks at that, too. The spy banter is unworthy of even the worst 007 film. Furthermore, the gadgets (and my God, does this movie have a lot of gadgets) are goofy instead of cool. Plus, if you were in any danger of thinking this was a cool spy movie, Smith ruins it with one of his signature moves: an end credits rap song that retells the entire film in an even more forgettable way.

Wild Wild West failed to be a Blazing Saddles-style racial comedy, and it failed even harder at being a 007-esque spy thriller. Sadly, it failed at its last endeavor, too: being a steampunk-powered sci-fi Western. This genre crossover is mostly exemplified by a climactic fight against a giant mechanical spider, which feels as over-the-top as it is unnecessary. The original TV show had nothing like this, and “robot spider” isn’t exactly a cowboy’s natural enemy. How the heck did this end up in here? Simple: producer Jon Peters had spent most of the late ‘90s trying to put a giant spider in a movie, and he was done waiting.

Does Whatever A Spider Can

Back in the late ‘90s, Warner Bros. was in serious talks with Neil Gaiman about adapting The Sandman into a feature film. According to the author, Jon Peters wanted to include a giant mechanical spider in the film. In 2002, Clerks director Kevin Smith revealed that when he was writing Superman Lives, Peters requested the Man of Steel fight a giant spider. That Superman film was officially scrapped in 1998, and Wild Wild West came out one year later. Considering that Peters produced this failed blockbuster, it seems reasonable to assume he’s the reason it ends with a notoriously stupid fight against a giant robot arachnid.

This is sad because, in other creators’ hands, Wild Wild West should have been a masterpiece. It was an update of a classic TV show with a hit director and a cast of insanely talented performers. Unfortunately, the writers couldn’t decide if they were making an edgy comedy, a spy thriller, or a sci-fi adventure. The result was a movie with an identity crisis so massive that it destroyed the entire franchise. But are you morbidly interested in watching the trainwreck unfold, or maybe you just want to return to the glory days of Will Smith’s career? Maybe, like Smith, you need something to watch while your wife is with her boyfriend? Good news, then: Wild Wild West is currently streaming for free on Tubi.