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5 shoplifters sentenced recently at York Magistrates Court

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5 shoplifters sentenced recently at York Magistrates Court

Matthew Rawcliffe, 40, of Union Terrace, York, pleaded guilty to theft of seven cans of alcohol, theft of chocolates and sweets worth £246.60, theft of chicken and Easter eggs worth £43.95, theft of chocolate and sweets worth £159.75 and theft of chocolate and sweets worth £142.25, all from Tesco Express in Gillygate on different occasions.  

He was given a 12-month community order with 20 days’ rehabilitative activities and 100 hours’ unpaid work and banned from the Tesco store for 12 months.

Christopher Bullivant, 42, of Fishergate, York, pleaded guilty to theft of a mattress worth £179.99 from The Range on Jockey Lane and theft of gin worth £48.50 from Waitrose in York.

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He was given a 24-week prison sentence suspended for 12 months. He must pay £48.50 compensation.

Craig Spurr, 47, of no fixed address, pleaded guilty to theft of Lego from B&M Home Bargains in Clifton Moor, obstructing police, theft of £50 meat from Tesco’s Goodramgate store, theft of meat from a M&S BP Garage, theft of butter and meat worth £39.68 from Sainsbury’s in Burtonstone Lane, Clifton, theft of meat worth £280.60 from Sainsbury’s in Haxby and possessing amphetamine. 

He was given a 24-week prison sentence suspended for 12 months and must pay £39.68 compensation.

Donna Ward, 54, of Burtonstone Lane, Clifton, pleaded guilty to stealing food worth £245 from Marks and Spencer in Parliament Street, York, food worth £131.90 from the Co-op store in Tang Hall Lane, and food worth £92.55 from Morrisons in Crichton Avenue, Clifton.

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She was given a 12-month community order with 15 days’ rehabilitative activities and must pay £100 compensation.

Neil Friar, 43, of St Matthias Street, Burley, pleaded guilty to stealing electric toothbrush heads worth £98.88 from B&M in Selby and failure to attend court.

He was jailed for eight weeks and ordered to pay £98.88 compensation.

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The ‘magnificent’ gardens and manor house where adventure playground will open near Cambridge

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Cambridgeshire Live

The pretty gardens and house are just over an hour from Cambridge

An adventure playground could open at a manor house with 900 acres of beautiful land – and it’s just over an hour from Cambridge. The weather is finally getting warmer – minus the odd cold and rainy day.

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And with that, families can start to plan lots of days out. One to visit soon is Helmingham Estate in Stowmarket, which is just over an hour drive from Cambridge.

The estate spans over 900 acres, with a 500-year-old moated manor house at the centre. On the website, the estate is described as “truly magnificent”. The manor house was built by John Tollemache and his wife, and it has been in the Tollemache family since then.

As well as the house, it is surrounded by Grade I listed gardens that are breathtaking to walk amongst. A pretty part of the gardens is the apple tree walk. This is a walkway lined by trees on the border of the park, which blossoms in May. Spring bulbs line the pathways, adding to the picturesque views.

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There is also the walled garden which is famed for the estate’s climbing roses, some varieties which have never been identified. There are also borders of sweet peas, beans and gourds. While walking around, people will also see some wildlife, including herds of deer.

An exciting prospect that’s coming to the estate this summer is an adventure playground. Known as Guildenacre, this new immersive new play experience will feature four themed areas.

Children of all ages will be able to embark on a magical adventure as they step into a world where a glimmer of gold hints at tales untold and join four special guardians who protect the forest with the help of the magical Whispering Oak Tree.

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The park will be themed around one of the guardian animals and their habitat. Edward Tollemache, custodian of Helmingham and co-founder of Guildenacre with his wife Sophie said: “This meticulously considered new addition to the Helmingham Estate will be an exciting mix of challenge, discovery and intrigue for all its visitors, both young and the young at heart.

“Inspired by the estate’s beautiful surroundings and the animals you would expect to find in the neighbouring habitats, you will see references to our family’s coat of arms in the form of a magical flying Pegasus which we hope our visitors will enjoy discovering too.”

To find out more about Helmingham Estate, visit the website.

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Doddie Weir’s wife smashes 750-mile cycle across four countries in four days

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Daily Record

Kathy Weir crossed the finish line of the huge 750-mile cycle in memory of the late rugby legend in Dublin last night.

The wife of motor neuron disease (MND) campaigner Doddie Weir OBE has smashed a 750 mile cycle across four countries in four days.

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Kathy Weir, 55, wife of the late rugby legend was among hundreds of cyclists, led by 12 core teammates, who crossed the finish line of their mammoth ride in Dublin last night.

Kathy clocked up 180-220 miles per day, over four days, riding across Scotland, England, Wales and Ireland – the nations that compete in the Six Nations Triple Crown – in aid of My Name’s Doddie Foundation.

Set up by Doddie in the wake of his MND diagnosis, which tragically took his life in 2022, the foundation aims to help find a cure for the cruel, life-limiting disease. The incredible efforts of participants has raised £1.17m.

Loved ones, media, supporters, and Dublin locals lined the streets in what was an electric atmosphere in the capital on Friday, March 13, the eve of Scotland’s clash with Ireland at the national stadium.

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Kathy said: “This ride has been one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. The people involved – Rob’s core group, the support team and everyone who’s taken part along the way – have been phenomenal.

“The support from the communities we’ve passed through has been incredible, too. At every stop people have been so welcoming, and that’s kept us going through the tougher moments.

“There have been emotional points, plenty of laughs and some real challenges along the way. Even the weather has made this unforgettable. The money that has been raised is just incredible and shows how many people are still determined to make a difference. Doddie would be so proud of everyone who continues to get behind the cause.”

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The team set off from Melrose to Leeds on day one, before heading to Gloucester for a powerful show of support from ex-England captain Lewis Moody, who revealed his MND diagnosis in September 2025.

A cancelled ferry crossing, relentless cold weather and harsh conditions along the route meant the schedule remained uncertain for much of the journey. But the team finally reached Irish shores for the final push on Friday.

Famous faces were also spotted the finish line including record-breaking cyclist, Mark Beaumont, and Irish rugby hero and former British and Irish Lions centre Gordon D’Arcy.

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Doddie’s former teammate and ex-Scotland captain, Rob Wainwright, felt particularly emotional. He said: “There were times over the past 750 miles when it really hurt, the climbs, the headwinds, the long days in the saddle.

“But compared to the battle Doddie faced, it puts everything into perspective. Riding into Dublin with this team and seeing the reception we’ve had is incredibly moving.”

Motor neuron disease is a progressive neurological condition that affects the motor neurons in the brain, leading to muscle weakness. Six people die from MND in the UK every day. There is no cure and limited treatment options.

Rob added: “Doddie was a teammate, a friend, and a force of nature, and his determination continues to drive all of us. This challenge was about more than the distance – it was about carrying that spirit forward and raising vital funds for My Name’5 Doddie Foundation. We’re not stopping until there’s a cure for MND.”

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NI sporting stars to go head-to-head in new darts event

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Belfast Live

“It’s not every day you get to see athletes from different sports competing on the same stage”

Sporting stars from across Northern Ireland are set to go head-to-head on the oche as part of a new event.

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Sports Celebrity Darts will bring together some of Northern Ireland’s best-known sporting personalities for a night of darts, entertainment and live competition.

Taking place at The Devenish on Friday April 3, the event will see a lineup of high-profile sports stars including former Ulster, Ireland and Lions rugby star, Stephen Ferris; Commonwealth, European and World Champion Olympic Medalist, Michael Conlan and professional footballer, Demi Vance, compete in a fun and competitive darts tournament in front of a live audience.

Hosted by comedian Andrew Ryan, the evening promises “plenty of sporting rivalries, crowd interaction and entertainment” as fans get the chance to see their favourite sports stars in a completely different setting.

Also set to take part are boxers Tyrone McKenna, Seán McComb and Michaela Walsh; MMA fighter, Paddy McCorry; footballers Joe Gormley, Matthew Fitzpatrick and Levi Ives; camogie player, Jane Adams; GAA footballers, Conor Meyler, Paddy McBride and hurler, Neil McManus.

Francis McGuinness, General Manager of The Devenish said: “We’re really excited to launch the inaugural Sports Celebrity Darts at The Devenish and bring together some of Northern Ireland’s top sporting personalities for a great night of entertainment.

“It’s not every day you get to see athletes from different sports competing on the same stage and we’re looking forward to creating a brilliant atmosphere for fans while showcasing some of the leading figures in local sport.”

In addition to the celebrity darts competition, the event will feature spot prizes, party games and a live DJ.

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Tickets for Sports Celebrity Darts are priced £15pp and available via Ticketmaster.

For all the latest news, visit the Belfast Live homepage here and sign up to our daily newsletter here.

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Gardens surrounding Tudor tower allowing visitors for exclusive open day

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Cambridgeshire Live

The gardens have many features and flowers that will be blooming in the spring

As the weather starts to improve thanks to the new spring season, you might be thinking of places you can visit to enjoy some time in the outdoors. Cambridgeshire has plenty of green spaces to see with your family but you also do not need to travel too far if you want to go somewhere new.

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The National Garden Scheme puts on open days of gardens across the UK for people to enjoy throughout the year. The garden surrounding the Tudor Kirtling Tower will be open for one day on Sunday, March 29, and might be worth a visit if you love history.

The tower can be found right on the border of Cambridgeshire with its main feature nowadays being the three-storeyed Tudor gatehouse. The origins of Kirtling Tower date back to 1219 when it was a castle with a moat, a ditch, and a palisade.

The castle went through a range of rebuilds including in the 1550s by architect Francis Adams when it was renamed Kirtling Hall. The hall continued to be developed and by the 1660s, it was the largest country house in Cambridgeshire.

The property went into decline in the 19th century with most of the castle being pulled down in 1801. In the 1830s, the gatehouse was turned into a residential property and was renamed Kirtling Tower.

During the open day, guests will have a chance to walk around the 25 acres of parkland where you can see views of the surrounding countryside. The dry moat has been planted with daffodils and trees alongside the “beautifully designed garden”.

The garden has a range of historical features such as a Walnut Avenue and an ancient Tudor Walk. You can follow the grass paths to see lots of spring flowers blooming and take a look at the Cutting Garden, which is full of roses and sweet peas.

The Cloister Courtyard has been planted with hydrangeas and roses. There will be some craft and plant stalls to take a look at as well as light refreshments on offer.

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Tickets for the open day costs £6 for adults and are free for children. Tickets can be booked through the National Garden Scheme website.

The gardens around the tower will be open from 11am until 4pm. Kirtling Tower can be found on Kirtling Road, which is around a 38 minute drive away from Cambridge via the A1303.

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Pedestrian struck by scrambler in West Belfast

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Belfast Live

“The reckless actions of these youths could have caused serious injury or worse”

A pedestrian was struck by a scrambler in West Belfast on Friday, police have said.

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West Belfast Neighbourhood officers are now seeking witnesses to the incident, and dashcam footage to be brought forward. The incident happened “in the vicinity of the crossing at the Dairy Farm, Stewartstown Road” at around 3pm yesterday.

“Around six youths were riding scramblers in an obviously dangerous manner when the collision occurred,” a police statement read.

READ MORE: 36 arrested during 12 hour police operation targeting wanted individualsREAD MORE: Child inside Moneymore home reportedly targeted in arson

“The reckless actions of these youths could have caused serious injury or worse. If you were in the Dairy Farm area at this time, did you witness this incident? If you have dashcam footage, we would urge you to check this and contact police with any information you can provide us with by calling 101 and quoting serial 877 of 13/03/2026.

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“Due to the rise in offences involving e-bikes and scramblers, we also appeal to parents, if you know your child is a rider of one of these, please ensure they do not ride them illegally on the roads and in a dangerous manner which could potentially be fatal. Police are working alongside the community to help educate young people regarding the dangers of these bikes but we really need support from parents.

“Before you buy your child one of these bikes, please think twice as to whether they will be used in a safe and legal manner without causing a risk to the public and to themselves.”

Sinn Féin MLA Danny Baker said “the issues of E-bikes/scramblers and scooters has continued to grow”.

In a statement posted on social media, he said: “This afternoon, a woman was struck by a scrambler/E-bike on the Stewartstown Road as she crossed the road at the Dairyfarm.

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“Thankfully, she is okay but badly shaken up. We’ve worked over a number of years to try and reduce scrambling on our roads, including harm reduction programmes, active policing, and community awareness.

“However, the issues of E-bikes/scramblers and scooters has continued to grow, lads flying up and down in dark clothes and faces covered. Ultimately, responsibility falls to the people riding these high-powered bikes illegally, and when underage, which they often are, their parents.

“Parents really need to ask themselves – will it be your son that kills or seriously hurts someone or themselves? This happened at 3 p.m. and involved a group of around 5/6 bikes.

“Police have deployed resources to try and find those responsible but are appealing for dashcam and other footage to help catch those responsible. If you have anything that could be useful, please contact 101.”

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The Claudia Winkleman Show ‘replacing’ Graham Norton Show

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The Claudia Winkleman Show 'replacing' Graham Norton Show

Jeff Goldblum, Jennifer Saunders, Vanessa Williams and Tom Allen joined the presenter for the first episode of her new chat series.

A new venture from the makers of the beloved Graham Norton Show, viewers couldn’t help but compare Claudia’s new show to the revered Irishman’s.

One viewer said on X, formerly known as Twitter: “Very entertained by everyone getting angry that this is “replacing”the Graham Norton Show which just got renewed for 3 more years #TheClaudiaWinklemanShow”

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Another said: “I’m enjoying this but the “well conveniently we have a person who is an expert in the thing you randomly brought up” is a bit much… #TheClaudiaWinklemanShow”

Someone else commented: “If this was Graham Norton, this line up would be disappointing, but Jeff Goldblum is interviewing gold, simply because he has a tendency to agree with everything you say to him. Perhaps it should be Claudia asking all the questions though.”

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One viewer was rather aggrieved at the lack of coverage Claudia’s show had received: “Claudia Winkleman’s chat show has barely had any press! Where has been the promotion?

“Rather odd to me.

“Taped show from weeks ago and little to nothing promo. Is this Claudia’s Davina McCall’s 2006 chat show all over again?”

Another person wrote: “If this was Graham Norton, this line up would be disappointing, but Jeff Goldblum is interviewing gold, simply because he has a tendency to agree with everything you say to him. Perhaps it should be Claudia asking all the questions though.

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Claudia will be joined next week by comedians Joanne McNally and Guz Khan, stage and screen star Rachel Zegler and singer-songwriter Niall Horan.

The third episode will boast Jimmy Carr, alongside actors Chase Infiniti and Lisa Kudrow.

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Jim Ratcliffe speaks out on ‘excellent’ Michael Carrick and permanent Man Utd job | Football

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Jim Ratcliffe speaks out on 'excellent' Michael Carrick and permanent Man Utd job | Football
Ratcliffe was giving little away on the future of Carrick (Picture: Getty)

Sir Jim Ratcliffe has hailed Michael Carrick’s impressive spell in charge of Manchester United – but refused to be drawn on whether he is closing in on the permanent gig.

Ruben Amorim was sacked in January with Carrick drafted in until the end of the season, tasked with steadying the ship and salvaging something from the 2025-26 season.

The former midfielder enjoyed a wonderful start with wins over Manchester City and Arsenal, taking 19 points from a possible 21 across his first seven games in charge.

While he suffered his first defeat to Newcastle United last time out, United are still in third place and firmly in the race for Champions League qualification.

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Whether United qualify for next season’s competition could ultimately decide Carrick’s fate but his start has him sat as the bookmakers’ favourite for the permanent job.

Ratcliffe was in Shanghai  this morning for qualifying ahead of the Chinese Grand Prix with Sky Sports’ Craig Slater quizzing on Carrick’s chances of getting the permanent job at the end of the season.

‘He’s doing an excellent job, absolutely,’ Ratcliffe said. Asked whether he will get the job permanently if current form continues, the United co-owner said:  Not going there!’

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Ratcliffe is viewing Champions League qualification as a very realistic prospect, adding: ‘Yes, clearly we are thinking about that. But there are still seven or eight games to go so still a while to go.’

United have not made any decision on Carrick’s future at this stage with there still the possibility they turn to a new face at the end of the season.

Manchester United v Crystal Palace - Premier League
Carrick the current favourite for the job (Picture: Getty)

Oliver Glasner, Andoni Iraola and Unai Emery are among the Premier League managers who have been linked with the role with Germany boss Julian Nagelsmann another possible candidate.

Two names seemingly out of the frame are Thomas Tuchel and Carlo Ancelotti. Tuchel, who was interviewed for the United job before England came calling, has signed a new contract with the Three Lions through to 2028, seemingly placing him out of United’s reach.

Ancelotti meanwhile is prepared to extend his stay as Brazil boss beyond this summer’s World Cup.

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Parking restrictions could be enforced around city housing estate

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Cambridgeshire Live

Residents are being encouraged to share their thoughts

Residents of Hampton Beach in Peterborough are being encouraged to have their say on council proposals to establish parking restrictions across the neighbourhood.

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Peterborough City Council has announced it intends to install parking restrictions along 15 roads located around the area.

However, the council is welcoming input from local residents who would like to have their say on the matter.

These are the roads that will be affected by the new restrictions:

  • Adlington Close
  • Benington Close
  • Berrington View
  • Brodie Place
  • Chalice Close
  • Clovelly Drive
  • Emmetts Grove
  • Florence Road
  • Harmony Grove
  • Hartland Avenue
  • Kentwell Road
  • Rosewood Way
  • Waterhouse Way
  • Westbury Drive
  • Stockwood Close

Copies of the proposals, along with a statement of the council’s reasons for making them, can be requested by contacting Peterborough City Council’s Traffic Regulation department on 01733 747474.

Anyone who would like to object to the proposals must submit their opposition by April 2, clearly stating their reasons for objecting.

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Are you paying too much tax to HMRC on your pension?

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Are you paying too much tax to HMRC on your pension?

In short, if you don’t understand the HMRC tax rules, you could pay more than you need to.

This guide breaks down how State and private pensions are taxed, when you can take money tax-free, and what happens if you live abroad or pass your pension on.

What income counts for Pension Tax?

Question: Which pensions and income are taxed?
Answer:
“You pay tax if your total annual income adds up to more than your Personal Allowance, says gov.uk.

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This includes:

  • State Pension (basic or new)
  • Additional State Pension
  • Private pensions (workplace or personal) — some tax-free
  • Employment or self-employment earnings
  • Taxable benefits
  • Other income such as investments, property, or savings

Your Personal Allowance is usually £12,570. Income below this is normally tax-free.

Can I take any of my pension tax-free?

Question: What pension income is tax-free?
Answer:

  • You do not usually pay tax if your total income is below your Personal Allowance.
  • Up to 25% of any pension pot can be taken as a tax-free lump sum, with a maximum of £268,275.

Example:
“Your whole pension is worth £60,000. You take £15,000 tax-free. Your pension provider will then take off the tax from the remaining £45,000.”

Special cases:

  • Small pots: Up to £10,000 lump sum — 25% tax-free.
  • Trivial commutation: Total private pensions £30,000 or less, take it all — 25% tax-free.
  • Serious illness: Life expectancy under one year, may take the whole pot tax-free if under 75 and within allowance.

Find out more about individual lump sum allowances

How is pension tax collected?

Question: Who takes the tax?
Answer:
“Your private pension provider will usually take off any tax you owe before they pay you,” says gov.uk.

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  • State Pension only: HMRC may send a Simple Assessment.
  • Pension plus working income: Tax usually handled via payroll.
  • Other untaxed income: You may need Self Assessment.

Recommended reading:


What happens if I live abroad?

Question: Will my pension be taxed if I retire abroad?
Answer: It depends on your residency and any double taxation treaties with the country you move to.

What If I Take a Large Lump Sum?

Question: Can I be taxed more if I withdraw a big amount?
Answer: Yes. Taking amounts over your allowance may trigger higher-rate Income Tax. Find out about lump sum charges and allowances on on the gov.uk website

What about inherited pensions?

Question: How is a pension taxed if someone inherits it?
Answer: Different rules apply to State and private pensions. Beneficiaries should check the tax treatment because there are different rules if someone inherits your pension

  • Know your total income — that’s what determines tax.
  • Up to 25% of pensions can be tax-free. Check your allowances.
  • Small pots, trivial commutation, and serious illness have special rules.

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Therapy Topics ‘Otroverts’ Discuss Most, According to Therapists

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Therapy Topics 'Otroverts' Discuss Most, According to Therapists

Love taking personality tests, reading about pop psychology and learning more about yourself? You might have heard about “otroverts”. If not, no worries: we’ll catch you up to speed.

Psychiatrist Dr Rami Kaminski coined the term in his 2025 book, The Gift of Not Belonging. Otroverts are essentially people who look and act like extroverts, but need their “introvert time.” They often feel “othered” (“otro” means “other”).

If that description sounds like you or a loved one, you might want some insight into common otrovert struggles and therapists’ advice. If that’s the case, read on as therapists share common concerns they hear from otroverted clients, plus their expert-backed responses.

Common therapy topics among ‘otrovert’ clients

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SDI Productions via Getty Images

Otroverts struggle with figuring out their energy levels, social pressures and more.

Confusion about their energy levels

Otroverts want to be social and relationally oriented, but it drains their nervous system. Those energy levels can cause them to feel confused and frustrated.

“They’ll say things like, ‘I can spend the whole night with friends and feel totally drained the next day,’ and feel bad about it,” said Claudia Johnson, a therapist and the owner and clinical director at PNW Sex Therapy Collective.

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The confusion makes sense. They may wonder, if they’re “people-people,” why are social interactions so draining? And if they recharge with alone time, what makes them feel so guilty and anxious about doing it?

How their energy levels affect their relationships

Those experiences and feelings can also confuse or upset their loved ones.

“Many describe difficulty navigating relationships where partners or loved ones expect a consistent level of availability, because at times, they can show up fully,” said Amelia Kelley, a trauma-informed therapist, author, podcaster and researcher. “When their capacity shifts, their needs change, and this is often misunderstood.”

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Over time, she continued, they begin to mask their limits and push through exhaustion, feeling shame and depletion. It’s a rough cycle.

Worrying about how others perceive them

Speaking of otroverts in relationships, another concern is feeling misunderstood or not seen (which comes back to “otro” meaning “other”). That can influence how they interact in and experience relationships.

“This can cause anxiety, worries of not being liked and patterns of people-pleasing,” said Jessica Steinman, a licensed psychotherapist. “Also, otroverts may have some past traumas or issues with ‘being othered,’ which causes the ‘extroverted need’ to be seen and fit in.”

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Struggling in social settings and after social events

Otroverts may feel like “outsiders” since they don’t quite identify as an introvert or extrovert.

“Often, otroverts appear to be totally enmeshed in a social setting, sometimes even acting as the centre of attention, yet express feeling a sense of disconnection or loneliness afterwards,” said Allyssa Powers, a therapist, educator and YouTuber.

They may struggle both during and after the social gathering. “Further, these clients can describe feeling like they’re ‘too much’ in some settings and ‘not enough’ in others,” said Hallie Kritsas, a licensed mental health counsellor with Thriveworks in Jacksonville, Florida. “They can then struggle with navigating social energy, as they want connection, but need depth during the interactions and recovery time after.”

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Overfunctioning in social settings (and secretly feeling exhausted after)

“Doing the most” is another big theme for otroverts in therapy.

“These clients may seem extroverted and cool on the job, but then they feel a cavernous internal processing and exhaustion,” said Vickery Rendall, a licensed clinical social worker and owner at Paper Birch Therapy, PLLC in Oregon. “The main presenting problem in therapy is emotional numbing or being easily annoyed with loved ones.”

Courtney Morgan, a licensed therapist and co-founder of TherapyList, also noticed that feeling burned out and almost resentful is “the biggest theme” with otroverts. That could be based on their interpretation of their “social role”.

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“They tend to be the ones orchestrating everything … They spend their time in a group setting playing the role of an extrovert and also tracking how everyone else is responding,” she said. “Even though they perform well in social settings, they rarely feel fulfilled by them.”

After days like that, they may say something like this in therapy sessions: “Everyone thinks I’m confident, bubbly and social, but I’m exhausted, overwhelmed and don’t feel fully seen,” said Alyssa Kushner, LCSW, a licensed therapist and the owner of AK Psychotherapy in New York City and Washington, DC. She added how otroverts crave connection but don’t always feel anchored to it — which comes back to that common feeling of confusion.

Feeling like something is “wrong” with them

All the concerns mentioned above can cause otroverts to feel like they’re inadequate in some way.

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“My otroverted clients come into therapy because they feel that they’re too sensitive, too quiet, get too socially drained when their peers don’t and feel like they’re somehow deficient because they don’t operate the same way louder and more externally expressive people around them do,” said Cristina Billingsley, a trauma and anxiety therapist and the clinical director of Sierra Center for Wellness in California.

She added: “My clients report feeling chronically overstimulated, that they’re the only ones who feel this way, that no one gets them or that they have to perform and match the energy and intensity of their colleagues and friends.”

How therapists respond to those common concerns

Setting boundaries and learning to be OK with your needs will help ortroverts not feel so torn or guilty.

Noko LTD via Getty Images

Setting boundaries and learning to be OK with your needs will help ortroverts not feel so torn or guilty.

Normalise the experience

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It’s OK to want to connect with people sometimes and to need space from them other times. That doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with you, or that you’re “actually” an introvert or extrovert. In fact, several of these therapists identify as otroverts. They encourage you to think about what you need in each moment and respect it.

“I work with them on unmasking so they can notice when they are pushing past their limits and start honouring their actual capacity instead of the version others expect,” Kelley said. “I remind them that they are allowed to have changing needs, and that needing space or adjustment does not mean they are inconsistent, unreliable or letting anyone down.”

Encourage self-compassion

As mentioned, understanding your needs and giving yourself grace is key. Jacov encouraged his otroverted clients to honour both their social side and their solidarity side, hoping they can learn to navigate social obligations with feelings of self-assurance and safety.

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“We learn to tune into the body to recognise what level of energy is actually available,” he said. “We build compassion and even appreciation for having these two opposing parts.”

Cognitive reframes can help. For example, Billingsley suggested saying that the temperament is a strength rather than a flaw.

Help with boundary-setting

The focus, Steinman said, is ensuring these clients get their needs met and can assertively set boundaries. That may mean saying “no” to a friend’s invitation, or even saying “no” to themselves.

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“We also look at how someone can take a step back and know when they need to get their ‘cup refilled,’ have self-care and tolerate any uncomfortable thoughts or feelings when they want to lean into their introverted side,” she said.

Adjust unhelpful thoughts

Rendall reminded her clients that they are worthy people outside their titles and social roles. They don’t need to constantly “perform” to be valuable.

Realising which self-expectations are unrealistic can help with that, according to Morgan. She reminded her otrovert clients that they don’t have to do it all. “We practice letting silence exist, energy dip and letting someone else manage small hiccups,” she said.

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It takes practice, but it can be effective. Ultimately, focus on what feels good for you in the moment.

“The ultimate goal here isn’t to become more introverted or more extroverted,” Kushner said. “It’s to feel regulated and authentic in both modes, and to be selective with who and what you give your precious energy to.”

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