Dear Dicky – I’m running out of patience over hubby’s hobby

Dear Dicky,

My husband took up running last year, which I fully supported at first. Fresh air, fitness, a healthy hobby – what could go wrong? Quite a lot, it turns out.

It has gone from something he does to something he is. Every conversation leads back to kilometres, trainers, or his latest personal best.

Meals are planned around runs, weekends are ruled by races, and holidays are judged by their “good routes”.

He sets alarms at dawn, leaves sweaty kit everywhere, and seems personally offended if I am not impressed by a screenshot of his route (he also shares it to Facebook, which I find MORTIFYING).

I am pleased he feels healthier, but I miss my husband – the one who could sit still, have a lie-in, and talk about something other than his knees.

I do not want to crush his enthusiasm, but I am finding the obsession tiring and, if I am honest, irritating.

How do I support his hobby without letting it take over our lives?

Yours, Alexis.

Dicky says:

Congratulations! Your husband has joined a very old club; people who discover running and briefly forget there is a world beyond their trainers.

The good news is that this phase usually settles. The less good news is that it rarely settles on its own.

You are allowed to say, kindly and clearly, that while you support his hobby, you do not want to live inside it. That is not being unsupportive; it is being married.

Pick a calm moment and explain what you miss: spending time together, relaxing mornings, chats that do not involve nipple chaffing.

Be specific. Ask for boundaries. Perhaps run-free meals, one weekend morning protected for the two of you, and a strict rule about sweaty kit (that’s just really selfish on this part).

At the same time, let him have his thing. Enthusiasm is not a flaw, even when it is noisy.

You can try a bit of gentle teasing to point out when he’s really taken it too far. Perhaps an “Oh yes, I’m sure your university friends are thrilled to see you ran 10km this morning”.

The main thing is, don’t end up creating a bad atmosphere and killing what he loves. At the end of the day, there are worse obsessions to have.

Marriage, like running, works best with pacing. At the moment, he is sprinting, and you are stuck on the sidelines. Time for a gentle jog back together.