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Earl Spencer accuses King Charles of ‘gaslighting’ him over suggestion his damning memoir is ‘clouded by grief’

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Earl Spencer has accused King Charles of 'gaslighting' him over the suggestion Lady Diana's brother's memoir is 'clouded by grief'

Earl Spencer last night accused King Charles of ‘gaslighting’ him in a dramatic escalation of their furious row over Princess Diana.

Speaking exclusively to The Mail on Sunday, the earl denied that he wrote his bombshell memoir because he was motivated by money and said his late sister would be ‘cheering from the rafters’ at his book. 

The Royal Family is reeling from a string of explosive claims in the memoir – entitled Swan Song: Diana, My Sister – after extracts were exclusively published by the Mail last week.

Earl Spencer’s incendiary claim that – days after Diana’s 1997 death – the then Prince Charles told him: ‘Rest assured, we’ll forget her soon enough’ provoked a highly unusual response from the Palace.

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The Prince of Wales’s alleged comment was made during a blistering row with the earl over whether Princes William and Harry, then aged 15 and 12, should walk in their mother’s funeral procession. 

But in a statement, a Palace spokesman last week questioned the veracity of Earl Spencer’s explosive account and said that fraternal grief can ‘cloud reason, affect judgment and colour memory‘.

Now, in his first newspaper comments since the war of words erupted, Earl Spencer, 62, has hit back, describing the Palace’s statement as gaslighting, a form of psychological abuse where the victim is manipulated into questioning what they know to be true.

He also said the Palace’s statement was a ‘poor imitation’ of Queen Elizabeth’s famous ‘recollections may vary’ retort to Harry and Meghan after their interview with Oprah Winfrey in 2021.

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Earl Spencer has accused King Charles of ‘gaslighting’ him over the suggestion Lady Diana’s brother’s memoir is ‘clouded by grief’ 

He has claimed that in the days after Diana's death, the then Prince Charles told him 'we'll forget her soon enough'

He has claimed that in the days after Diana’s death, the then Prince Charles told him ‘we’ll forget her soon enough’ 

Princess Diana and Dodi Al Fayed in Saint Tropez, France on August 22, 1997 - just days before they died

Princess Diana and Dodi Al Fayed in Saint Tropez, France on August 22, 1997 – just days before they died 

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‘It is not every day you wake up to find you’ve been gaslit by the King,’ he said.

‘It was astonishingly provocative and below the belt because it was essentially trying to say I’d lied without the King being able to deny what I’d said.

‘I also thought it was a rather poor imitation of the ‘recollections may vary’ quote, which was a much more elegant way of putting things, but in these circumstances entirely out of place.’

In an interview with the BBC to be broadcast tonight, Earl Spencer said he told close friends and family ‘straight away’ about the Prince of Wales’s alleged outburst ‘because it was so monstrous’.

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Writing in today’s MoS, the Mail’s Richard Kay – one of Diana’s most trusted confidants – recalls Earl Spencer telling him, in the week before the Princess’s funeral, that there had been a ‘furious row’ and that Prince Charles had been ‘utterly pathetic’.

Earl Spencer last night said: ‘I am a historian – I appreciate that a lot of the public don’t know that – and my primary responsibility as a historian is to tell the truth. 

‘My motivation in this book has been to tell the truth about Diana and all she had to put up with in her public life through the eyes of the brother who grew up with her.

‘Along the way I’ve been able to deal with various myths that have grown up which needed to be dealt with once and for all. 

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King Charles III gives a speech during a meeting for leaders from the AI sector

King Charles III gives a speech during a meeting for leaders from the AI sector

Lord Charles Spencer in the library of his ancestral home, Althorp Hall, Northamptonshire

Lord Charles Spencer in the library of his ancestral home, Althorp Hall, Northamptonshire

‘I’m in my sixties, neither of my parents made it to 70 and I wanted to do this while I could.’

Some royal commentators have claimed the earl is ‘cashing in’ on his late sister’s memory. 

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Charles Spencer, however, strenuously denied that his motivations in publishing the book are financial.

‘Money has never even been the remotest consideration in my choosing to write my tribute to Diana,’ he said.

‘Diana always had an expression which is don’t judge others by yourselves – and I think this applies to anyone who accuses me of something so ridiculous.’

Earl Spencer famously delivered a raw and defiant eulogy at his sister’s funeral, which was broadcast to a worldwide audience of 2.5 billion.

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In one of the most poignant passages of his book, the earl reveals how he read the speech to Diana’s coffin in Chapel Royal, a private chapel at St James’s Palace, where his sister’s body lay for five days before the funeral.

He told the MoS that he believes his late sister would have both ‘applauded’ those words and been ‘fully behind’ his book.

SO WHAT IS GASLIGHTING? 

Gaslighting involves tricking someone into questioning something they know to be true.

The phrase can be traced to the 1938 stage thriller Gas Light, by British author Patrick Hamilton, which was adapted into the 1944 film Gaslight starring Ingrid Bergman as a woman whose controlling husband makes trips into the attic to search for hidden jewellery, igniting a gaslight and causing lights elsewhere in the house to dim.

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The wife notices the dimming lights but the husband convinces her she is wrong and is instead losing her mind.

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‘At the end of the day, people are missing a fundamental point, which is that Diana was my sister and I have every right to write about my own sister. 

‘I can tell you that Diana would be cheering from the rafters at this book, I have no doubt about that.

‘She loved it when we stuck up for one another and I really felt it when I read my eulogy to her privately in a chapel before her funeral. 

‘I sensed so strongly that day that she would have applauded those words and I feel equally strongly today that she would be fully behind this book.’

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The MoS can today reveal that, in his memoir, the earl voices his regret at removing Diana’s boyfriend Dodi Fayed’s name from his eulogy. 

He also details an extraordinary conversation with Prince Charles at his father John Spencer’s funeral, in which he claims the future king told him he was ‘so lucky’ to be inheriting his family’s estate while he was in his twenties.

Earl Spencer claims that during the exchange at his family seat at Althorp, Prince Charles stamped his foot like a ‘petulant’ child.

Meanwhile, a string of establishment figures have leapt to the King’s defence.

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Veteran BBC broadcaster David Dimbleby yesterday described the earl as ‘a curious fellow’ who he said has questions to answer over ‘the extent to which he is a genuine defender’ of Diana.

The broadcaster, who covered major royal events for decades, questioned Earl Spencer’s actions in 1995 when rogue BBC reporter Martin Bashir showed him forged bank statements in a bid to persuade him that people close to Diana were being paid to spy on her

Dimbleby said: ‘He [Earl Spencer] didn’t go to the police, he didn’t go to the prime minister, he showed it to Diana and said ‘give an interview to BBC Panorama‘… and Diana at her most paranoid at that point accepted it.

‘So I think Charles [Spencer] has got some questions to answer himself… about the extent to which he is a genuine defender.’

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Former Tory MP Rory Stewart, who tutored Prince Harry and Prince William, told the BBC that he ‘simply cannot believe’ that the King said what Spencer claims. 

‘It’s just not his character, it’s not his personality. Never ever have I heard him say anything like that.’

In a statement released last Wednesday, the Palace said: ‘While we do not comment on books as a matter of principle, His Majesty is mindful that the pain of fraternal grief can cloud reason, affect judgment and colour memory in ways others do not recognise, even many years after such a loss.’

The Palace has declined to comment on further claims in the memoir.

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Missing Lillia, 13, from Bolton found safe in Manchester after police search

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Daily Record

Lillia was first reported missing on Friday (September 11) and was later seen at 11pm in Piccadilly Gardens

Missing teenager Lillia has been located safe and well in Manchester city centre, officers confirmed on Saturday evening.

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The 13 year old lass vanished from her Bolton home more than a week ago, sparking a substantial police hunt. She was initially reported missing on Friday (September 11) and was subsequently spotted at 11pm in Piccadilly Gardens.

Her next sighting came when she boarded the 247 bus at the Trafford Centre at 1.50pm on Saturday (September 12), followed by CCTV footage capturing her at the McDonald’s in Piccadilly Gardens at approximately 8.20pm on Sunday, September 13, reports the Express.

In a statement, Greater Manchester Police (GMP) said: “Thank you to everyone who shared our missing appeal for 13-year-old Lillia, who has been missing since Friday 11 September 2026.

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“We can confirm that she has been found safe and well in the city centre. She is currently with our officers, and her next-of-kin have been informed of this update. We will release more information in due course.”

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Reform would dodge any Labour ban on foreign donors by ‘setting up a crypto industry union’, senior aide claims

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Reform Party leader Nigel Farage (pictured) would bypass any Labour ban on foreign donors by setting up a trade union that would funnel the money, according to one of his most senior aides

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Nigel Farage would bypass any Labour ban on foreign donors to his Reform UK party by setting up a trade union that would funnel the money, one of his most senior aides said on Saturday night. 

Andy Burnham’s Government reacted to last weekend’s unprecedented £72million donations from two cryptocurrency billionaires, Ben Delo and Christopher Harborne, by pledging to introduce new residency requirements which would retrospectively render the donations unlawful. 

Both men had previously been based overseas.

But on Saturday night, Reform UK’s Arron Banks claimed the party would respond by creating a new trade union – provisionally named the Allied Computer & Crypto Workers Union (ACCAW) – which would represent workers in the new IT, AI and cryptocurrency industries. 

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It would be certified in the UK and therefore comply with Labour’s proposed new laws.

Under an alternative plan, the party would flood other trade unions with a ‘Red Wave’ of Reform supporters to engineer a ‘reverse takeover’ of the organisations.

Reform Party leader Nigel Farage (pictured) would bypass any Labour ban on foreign donors by setting up a trade union that would funnel the money, according to one of his most senior aides 

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The move would be inspired by the ‘blue wave’ campaign in 2018 in which Mr Banks flooded the Conservative Party with thousands of former UKIP members to push the Conservative Party towards a hard Brexit.

The party says internal polling shows a high level of support for Reform among trade union members.

Mr Banks said ‘the ACCAW would be the first union to politically support the views of its members’ and effectively ‘hoist Labour by its own petard’.

‘Our Red Wave campaign would remove champagne-swilling, socialist union barons who take home massive salaries. 

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‘Huge numbers of trade union members support Reform, and we aim to mobilise them via a sustained campaign,’ he added.

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Man Utd: Michael Carrick has faith in VAR despite derby blunder

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Manchester City striker Erling Haaland scores against Manchester United

Manchester United head coach Michael Carrick says he still has faith in the video assistant referee – but added that the apology for the error that led to their defeat in the Manchester derby does not mean much.

Referee’s body Pro Ref issued a formal apology to United within three hours of the end of Manchester City‘s 1-0 victory at Old Trafford.

Neither VAR Matt Donohue nor his assistant Blake Antrobus have been selected for games this weekend after failing to spot City midfielder Enzo Fernandez clearly in an offside position and interfering with play before Erling Haaland’s matchwinner for City.

Carrick was livid after the game, saying it was a “worrying” interpretation of the rules.

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And before his side’s Premier League trip to Fulham on Sunday, the United boss was asked if he still had faith in VAR.

“One-off things can happen,” he said.

“At the time it was a pretty big one, we know that. I don’t think I need to go over that. But yes, I’ve got faith in it. It’s the system we work towards and that we use.”

Referee’s chief Howard Webb has been heavily criticised over general officiating standards in the game.

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Analysing the incident on ‘Match Officials Mic’d Up’, Webb said he was “really disappointed” with the outcome, stating the officials had been too focused on a potential offside against Haaland and had failed to assess Fernandez’s position.

Webb has spoken to United about the situation in an effort to be more accountable.

“The apology doesn’t mean an awful lot,” said Carrick.

“I can appreciate and respect them putting their hands up and saying we got that wrong – it does happen. We just have to deal with it.

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“Maybe we get one or two decisions on the law of averages or whatever but that one had a huge impact on the game and that’s why it was particularly tough.”

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Strictly is back with new hosts as celebrities discover pairings

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Left to right: Johannes Radebe, Emma Willis and Josh Widdicombe sit in a line on a sofa.

Here is a list of the pairings in full:

  • Actress Lacey Turner and Vito Coppola

  • Reality TV star Dani Dyer and Nikita Kuzmin

  • Hair stylist to the stars Chris Appleton and Amy Dowden

  • Australian singer and actress Delta Goodrem and Kai Widdrington

  • DJ and social media personality Cach Mercer and Maddie Ingoldsby

  • TV and radio presenter Will Best and Dianne Buswell

  • Paralympian Dame Sarah Storey and Julian Caillon

  • Actress Jaime Winstone and Carlos Gu

  • TV and stage actress Bethany Antonia and Nancy Xu

  • Former England footballer Shaun Wright-Phillips and Alexis Warr

  • Presenter and author Graeme Hall and Lauren Oakley

  • Actor Lawrence Robb and Jowita Przystał

  • Skeleton athlete Tabby Stoecker and Mark Karmalita

  • YouTuber John Nellis and Katya Jones

  • TV and stage actress Melanie Walters and Aljaž Škorjanec

One pair who won’t need to get to know each other are reality TV star Dani Dyer and Nikita Kuzmin.

Dyer is back to compete for a second time, having withdrawn from last year’s series due to a fractured ankle.

“I’m just over the moon. I’m so, so happy,” she said after the pairing, while Kuzmin added that he had “tears of joy” in his eyes.

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Meanwhile, actress Bethany Antonia and professional Nancy Xu became the third two-woman couple to compete in the show.

In a poignant moment, Antonia revealed that watching boxer Nicola Adams and Katya Jones performing together in Strictly’s 2020 series was a “big part of my coming out journey”.

Among the other pairings were EastEnders actress Lacey Turner and Vito Coppola, former Paralympian Dame Sarah Storey and Julian Caillon, and Shaun Wright-Phillips and Alexis Warr.

Also back on the dancefloor for a final spin was reigning Strictly champion, former Lionness Karen Carney.

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Clad in the same diamante-encrusted football shirt, Carney recreated the Jive that first marked her out as a contender of her series, alongside dance partner Carlos Gu.

“I absolutely feel like I’m at home,” Carney told Willis after the routine, as she paid tribute to her pro partner.

In 13 weeks time, she’ll have to surrender that glitterball trophy to a new victor.

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Royal family news live: Earl Spencer accuses King of ‘gaslighting’ him after palace’s response to explosive book claims

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Royal family news live: Earl Spencer accuses King of ‘gaslighting’ him after palace’s response to explosive book claims

Earl Spencer accuses King Charles of ‘gaslighting him’ over book claims

Earl Spencer has accused the King of gaslighting him after Buckingham Palace pushed back against explosive claims that Charles said “we’ll forget her soon enough” after Diana, Princess of Wales, died.

The earl has made a series of damning claims about the King in a new memoir chronicling the life of his sister Diana that prompted the response from Buckingham Palace, which said “the pain of fraternal grief can cloud reason”.

Now, the earl has accused the King of gaslighting him and called the response a “rather poor imitation of the ‘recollections may vary’ quote” – the late Queen’s response to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s allegations in their Oprah Winfrey interview, The Mail on Sunday reports.

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He said: “It is not every day you wake up to find you’ve been gaslit by the King.

“It was astonishingly provocative and below the belt because it was essentially trying to say I’d lied without the King being able to deny what I’d said.

“I also thought it was a rather poor imitation of the ‘recollections may vary’ quote, which was a much more elegant way of putting things, but in these circumstances entirely out of place.”

He also said “Diana would be cheering from the rafters at this book”.

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Alex Croft19 September 2026 23:24

Charles Spencer’s book is Diana’s unfinished business – Harry’s documentary will finish it

As Buckingham Palace hits back at the claims of King Charles’s reaction to the death of Diana, Dan Wakeford, former People editor and founder of the Celebrity Intelligence website, looks at why her brother is publishing his tell-all now, and how the next 12 months will be about settling scores.

Alex Croft19 September 2026 23:01

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Charles called Diana ‘chubby’ after engagement, claims Spencer’s memoir: recap

Diana suffered from an eating disorder which worsened after Charles called her “chubby,” Earl Spencer has claimed in his bombshell memoir.

In an extract from his book, serialised in the Daily Mail, the Earl claims that ahead of his sister’s wedding, Prince Charles had squeezed Diana’s waist and said, “Oh, a bit chubby here, aren’t we?”

The earl said his sister found the comment “devastating,” later telling him that her “waist shrank from 29 to 23 and a half inches between her engagement and her marriage,” which were five months apart in 1981.

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Alex Croft19 September 2026 22:00

Watch: Charles went ‘ballistic’ in phone call row over Diana funeral arrangements, claims Earl Spencer

Charles went ‘ballistic’ in phone call row over Diana funeral arrangements, claims Earl Spencer

Alex Croft19 September 2026 21:00

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Queen says books have ‘life-enhancing power’ in speech after release of Earl Spencer’s memoir

The Queen has spoken of her love for books that have a “life-enhancing power” after a series of allegations were made about the King in extracts from Earl Spencer’s memoir about the life of Diana, Princess of Wales.

The Queen was welcomed by Lord William Burlington, the chairman of The Chatsworth House Trust, who said it was “a huge thrill” to collaborate with The Queen’s Reading Room for a second consecutive year.

Camilla gave a speech in the Painted Hall and said being at Chatsworth House, which has a library of over 17,000 books, was “like coming home”.

She told the guests: “I created my Reading Room simply because, like all of us here, I love books and their life-enhancing power and I want to share that love with others.

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“In those early days, I had no idea if anybody would be interested but six years on, we are a global community of millions from over 180 countries, swapping recommendations, undertaking research and donating thousands of books to women’s refuges and homeless shelters.”

Camilla’s speech about her love for reading comes after Earl Spencer made a series of damning claims about the King in a new memoir chronicling the life of his sister Diana that prompted an “unprecedented” response from Buckingham Palace who said, “the pain of fraternal grief can cloud reason”.

Earl Spencer further claimed that the King sounded “giddily elated… like a lottery winner” when he rang the earl following the princess’s death.

(Getty)

Alex Croft19 September 2026 20:00

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Diana contemplated ‘ending it all’, memoir claims – ICYMI

In passages of his bombshell book, Earl Spencer spoke of how his sister contemplated “ending it all” before her death.

He said she drove “more than once” to the cliffs at Beachy Head in East Sussex and was “contemplating ending it all”, adding that “her love for her sons stopped her from going further”.

The book reads: “It is a sad fact that, in her later years, Diana drove herself more than once to Beachy Head, the highest chalk sea cliff in England, while contemplating ending it all.

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“Her love for her sons stopped her from going further.”

Alex Croft19 September 2026 19:01

Comment: Charles should have listened to his mother – ‘Never complain, never explain’

By ignoring the late Queen Elizabeth’s famous motto in the row over Earl Spencer’s new book about Diana, the King has been seriously wrongfooted, says Harry Mount.

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Nicole Wootton-Cane19 September 2026 18:00

What King Charles said in first speech since ‘unprecedented’ response to Earl Spencer’s book claims

In his first public appearance since Buckingham Palace responded to claims made in a new memoir by Earl Spencer, King Charles spoke to tech industry leaders of the existential dangers posed by artificial intelligence.

Speaking at a summit at Dumfries House, the King urged executives from OpenAI, Google DeepMind, and Nvidia to ensure humanity remains sacred as AI advances.

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He has declined to comment further after his initial statement, in which the Palace said the King is “mindful” of how grief can colour memory.

Nicole Wootton-Cane19 September 2026 17:30

Watch: Royal expert questions timing of Earl Spencer book release

Royal expert questions timing of Earl Spencer book release

Nicole Wootton-Cane19 September 2026 17:00

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When is Earl Spencer’s book due to be released?

Earl Spencer’s book titled Swan Song: Diana, My Sister, is set to be released globally on Tuesday.

However, the pages have been serialised by the Daily Mail, leaking some of the most explosive allegations ahead of publication.

An interview with Diana’s brother and BBC broadcaster Laura Kuenssberg will also be released on Sunday evening, in which more revelations are expected.

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Nicole Wootton-Cane19 September 2026 16:30

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Darlington panto trio bringing Beauty and the Beast to life

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Darlington panto trio bringing Beauty and the Beast to life

Liv Newcomb will take on the role of Belle alongside Ollie Llewelyn-Williams as Prince Sebastian and Neisha-Yen Jones as the Enchantress.

With audiences already familiar with Beauty and the Beast in its many forms, Newcomb admitted there is some expectation attached to playing such a recognisable character.

However, rather than feeling pressure, she described stepping into Belle’s shoes as an honour.

(Image: The Northern Echo)

She said: “Everyone knows the traditional story and the Disney version of the fairy tale, so there’s pressure in terms of being the character that everyone loves.

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“But it’s more like an honour to be able to have the tradition that’s associated with it.

“It’s stepping into something that you know everyone loves.”

While the traditional story remains at the production’s heart, the format gives its stars the opportunity to put their own stamp on the familiar characters.

For some of the cast, it will also mean adapting to the distinctive world of pantomime for the first time.

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Llewelyn-Williams has come from more traditional theatre and said the freedom for performers and audiences to interact makes panto a very different prospect.

He said: “You get to interact with the audience, break fourth wall.

“They can have a sing-song, they can boo at me, they can cheer at me.

“It’s exciting and it is a new technique.”

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(Image: Sarah Caldecott)

That unpredictability is something Neisha-Yen Jones is also looking forward to embracing, particularly after working in productions where performances are typically more fixed.

She said watching experienced comedians respond to audiences and change their performances on the fly offers an opportunity to learn a different theatrical skill.

The cast came together ahead of the production’s December opening, giving its members an early opportunity to see their costumes and discover the different skills among the company.

Llewelyn-Williams said: “It’s the first time that we’re seeing all the costumes together and seeing the energy all together, and we’re all bonding.

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“It’s making it feel more real now.”

Despite working with one of theatre’s best-known fairy tales, audiences should not expect everything they see at the Hippodrome to follow the version they already know.

New characters will appear alongside familiar faces, while comedy and the conventions of pantomime will put a different spin on the story.

Newcomb said audiences can expect “the traditional story that everyone loves, but with twists and turns that we’re not expecting, and new characters and jokes”.

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The cast is also looking forward to discovering the show’s musical side, with big dance numbers and songs forming part of the production.

Asked which pop songs they would choose themselves, Newcomb opted for Beyoncé’s Love on Top, while Llewelyn-Williams suggested music from Justin Timberlake or Bruno Mars and Jones pointing towards a Tina Turner classic.

But for now, the finer details of what awaits Darlington audiences remain under wraps.

What the trio can promise is a production which combines the heart of the original story with the freedom, humour and audience interaction of a Christmas panto.

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Beauty and the Beast runs at Darlington Hippodrome from December 11 to January 3.

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I Started Dating Again In My 50s. I Didn’t Expect The Reaction I Got From Younger Men

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I Started Dating Again In My 50s. I Didn’t Expect The Reaction I Got From Younger Men

After my divorce settled, and following years spent raising my children and caring for my mother in her final chapter, I began to dip my toe back into the dating pool at 51.

Even though I felt ready to open up to the possibility of romance, I was also very aware of my emotional capacity – what I had the bandwidth to hold and what I didn’t.

I wasn’t looking for a soulmate, nor was I interested in future-tripping, making long-term promises or auditioning for a major role in a partner’s established life.

Before my marriage, my natural inclination had always been toward older men – men with established footholds, refined perspectives and the gravitational pull of maturity. But after a long marriage and years of caregiving, my needs had shifted. I simply did not have the emotional reserve to play a significant role in a partner’s existing domestic ecosystem.

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Given that, and at the behest of my curious married friends who urged me to “take one for the team”, I manually adjusted my age preferences on the apps, sliding the scale far enough left that it could be framed as a cultural statement.

I widened those parameters not as a hunt but as an experiment in lowering the stakes. I assumed I was simply opening a doorway to casual conversation. What I didn’t expect was the immediate, enthusiastic response from men 10, 15 and 20 years my junior.

Unlike men in my own demographic, who often carried the weight of past domestic entanglements or rigid expectations, these younger suitors approached dating with refreshing candor, often addressing the age gap upfront with curiosity rather than hesitation, viewing it not as an obstacle but as a primary attraction.

I quickly realised this wasn’t an anomaly; I had stumbled onto a quiet, deliberate movement of young men actively seeking out older women.

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Of course, it’s impossible to address this cultural wave without confronting the hyper-sexualised “cougar” or “MILF” tropes that are pervasive in the media. As a result, a not-insignificant portion of the messages in my inbox was inevitably fuelled purely by a fantasy that reduced an older woman to an erotic milestone rather than a person. Distinguishing genuine intrigue from fetishisation was the primary task of navigating this pool.

Still, a substantial segment of these younger men started surprisingly earnest conversations, and one young professional immediately stood out. He was 36 to my 51, but far more mature than his peers, intensely focused on his career, yet looking for adult female companionship.

What began as a series of engaging dinners turned into a meaningful, purposeful connection for both of us. For him, it offered a space to laugh, share and connect, entirely free from the biological clock and domestic pressure cooker of peer-group dating. For me, it served as a gentle, low-stakes step back into a dating landscape I hadn’t navigated in nearly two decades.

Our relationship spanned roughly 18 months – a fluid, unhurried arrangement anchored in complete transparency, mutual discretion and shared pleasure, deliberately unburdened by demands for formal exclusivity or traditional milestones. We remain friends today, and while he still occasionally gives a quiet wink asking to return to that season, we mostly laugh about our time together.

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Recently, on a getaway to an upscale Southern California suburb, I overheard a hotel concierge advising guests on a few local restaurants – playfully referred to as “cougar bars” – where younger men gather specifically in hopes of meeting women their senior. Who would have thought? What I quietly discovered on the fringes of dating app filters had spilled into everyday public life.

For generations, the older-man-younger-woman dynamic wasn’t just tolerated; it was the default social blueprint. When high-profile men married partners decades their junior, culture treated it as a standard perk of status and wealth. Society rarely questioned their motives or demanded they defend their choices.

Meanwhile, when the gender roles were reversed, we coined the term “cougar” to paint older women as predatory or desperate, and the younger men who dated them as novelties or “boy toys”. High-profile exceptions, like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, were usually treated as tabloid anomalies or public spectacles.

Gregg DeGuire via Getty Images

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Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, who started dating in 2003, have roughly a 15-year age difference.

Today, that archaic framework is fracturing, largely driven by the cold mechanics of modern dating technology. According to Pew Research, 63% of men under 30 report being single, compared to just 34% of women in the same age bracket. Furthermore, 64% of men report feeling insecure due to a staggering lack of incoming messages on apps. On platforms like Tinder, where the average match rate for men sits at a dismal 5%, young men face a brutal numbers game.

To survive the feed, younger men have learned to game the system. On Bumble and Hinge, a 26-year-old man has to manually slide his age preferences upward to appear in a 50-something or 60-something woman’s queue. Widening his age bracket may partly be a numerical calculation to expand his reach, but it is also a deliberate tactical shift. Rather than chasing low response rates among his peers, he may recognise that mature women operate with far greater clarity, efficiency and directness, making an interaction not only more statistically probable but also of higher baseline quality.

Bumble’s global data shows that nearly 60% of women are open to dating younger men. Meanwhile, Hinge Labs reports that 65% of young men want deep emotional intimacy early on, yet nearly half hold back, perhaps for fear of failing to meet the intense life-stage expectations of women their own age.

This brings us to the core of the dynamic. As The New York Times recently highlighted in its exploration of why younger men are seeking out mature women, featuring commentary from writer Emily Leibert and psychoanalyst Jamieson Webster, this phenomenon sits at the intersection of female liberation and male risk-aversion.

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A mature, established woman may act as an oasis for a younger man, offering high-value connection, emotional composure and engaging conversation without demanding that he immediately step into the role of provider, husband or father.

In a culture where young men are overwhelmed by economic instability and shifting relationship expectations, seeking out an older woman may function as a shortcut to low-pressure connection. If she has her own financial stability, her own home and her own identity, she probably isn’t asking him to build a life with her. Her life is already built.

Yet that’s where the friction lies.

Some younger men are drawn to an older woman under the naive assumption that her self-sufficiency will make her “low maintenance”. Younger men may mistake an established woman’s independence for a lack of standards, assuming that because she doesn’t need his financial support or a traditional commitment, she requires minimal effort.

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The reality, of course, is the exact opposite. True self-sufficiency comes with firm boundaries, high standards and zero tolerance for playing a supporting role in someone else’s unwritten script. An older woman who has raised children, built a career or cared for ageing parents knows the exact value of her time and emotional investment.

Today, at 62, I look back on that chapter of my life with gratitude, but also with clarity. As a single woman now, my desires have shifted once again, and so has my capacity.

While I still open dating apps occasionally, mostly while travelling, my criteria have evolved. I’ve reopened my bracket to men in their early 50s and beyond, seeking the sharp, intellectually vibrant partners I’ve always aligned with best. I am no longer seeking the low-bandwidth, transitional space that post-divorce life required. Now I’m looking for someone ready for 30-plus years of shared curiosity and real depth.

While Kinsey Institute survey data shows that older women report higher levels of relationship satisfaction and commitment when dating younger men, I believe that satisfaction relies entirely on mutual transparency.

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Hilary Rubin is an essayist and model examining performance, physical autonomy, and modern cultural dynamics. You can follow her work on Instagram @hilaryrubin or at hilaryrubin.com.

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Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor living ‘in exile’ awaiting police investigation outcome | News UK

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Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor living 'in exile' awaiting police investigation outcome | News UK
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor is reportedly ‘in exile’ (Picture: AP)

Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor is believed to be living ‘in limbo’ at his home in Norfolk following his arrest.

On February 19, the former Duke was detained on suspicion of misconduct in public office, allegations relating to his time as a UK trade envoy between 2001 and 2011, a role ultimately terminated over mounting controversy surrounding his connection to associates like Jeffrey Epstein.

He was later released under investigation without being charged, as emails that were part of the Epstein files suggested he may have shared confidential information with the convicted child sex offender about his official work.

It’s understood that the ex-Duke of York has been advised to keep a low profile as the probe continues.

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As a result, he reportedly feels like he’s ‘in limbo’ at the Sandringham Estate, having moved to the property upon leaving Royal Lodge in Windsor at the start of the year.

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He was not legally required to surrender his passport and is, technically, still able to travel abroad; however, he has been advised not to by royal officials, who believe such a move would be ‘unwise’.

FILE - Britain's Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, formerly known as Prince Andrew, looks round as he leaves after attending the Easter Matins Service at St. George's Chapel, Windsor Castle, England, April 20, 2025. (AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth, File)
The former Duke was arrested earlier this year (Picture: AP)

A source close to Mountbatten-Windsor told The Telegraph: ‘While Andrew remains under investigation after being arrested by Thames Valley Police seven months ago, he has effectively been living in limbo.

‘Although there are no formal conditions which prevent him from travelling while this drags on, he cannot really stray far beyond his home.

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‘He cannot live his normal life as the police investigation goes on.’

The insider added that, in the meantime, police seem to be ‘no nearer being able to prove an allegation of misconduct in a public office’.

Mountbatten-Windsor is thought to be ‘making the most’ of his current situation, according to friends, as he focuses on his new life in Norfolk.

It’s believed he also feels a sense of ‘relief’ now that he’s out of the royal ‘bubble’.

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FILE PHOTO: Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, younger brother of Britain???s King Charles, formerly known as Prince Andrew, leaves Aylsham Police Station on a vehicle, on the day he was arrested on suspicion of misconduct in public office, after the U.S. Justice Department released more records tied to the late financier and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, in Aylsham, Britain, February 19, 2026. REUTERS/Phil Noble/File Photo ATTENTION EDITORS: UPDATING HEADLINE
After 12 hours of questioning on alleged misconduct in public office, he was released without being charged (Picture: Reuters)

Police enquiries are likely to continue for several more months.

For now, Mountbatten-Windsor is keeping his social circle small, and while he is thought to be in touch with his other siblings, Princess Anne and Prince Edward, he has not spoken to King Charles ‘for some time’.

When police came knocking for his younger brother (on his 66th birthday), the King later expressed that the authorities have his ‘full and wholehearted support and cooperation’, insisting the Royal Family would ‘continue in [their] duty and service’.

The monarch also voiced ‘deepest concern’ upon hearing the news, stating clearly that ‘the law must take its course’.

Mountbatten-Windsor was interrogated for around 12 hours that day, and he has had no contact with Thames Valley Police since.

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He has also ‘barely left Sandringham’ for the remainder of the year, having denied previous claims that he had holidayed in the south of France, a stark contrast to the jet-setting lifestyle he once enjoyed.

(FILES) Britain's Prince Andrew, Duke of York (L) and Britain's King Charles III leave following a Requiem Mass, a Catholic funeral service, for the late Katharine, Duchess of Kent, at Westminster Cathedral in London on September 16, 2025. King Charles will strip his younger brother Andrew of his royal titles and long-term residence on the Windsor estate, the palace said on October 30, 2025, the latest fallout to hit the scandal-plagued royal over the Jeffrey Epstein affair. "Prince Andrew will now be known as Andrew Mountbatten Windsor," the palace said, adding that Charles had begun the formal process to strip the titles from his brother. (Photo by Adrian Dennis / AFP) (Photo by ADRIAN DENNIS/AFP via Getty Images)
King Charles previously vowed to cooperate with the police probe after his brother’s detainment (Picture: Adrian Dennis/AFP via Getty Images)

In May, biographer Andrew Lownie described Mountbatten-Windsor’s reality as ‘bleak’ and his life as ‘very empty’.

He told USA Today that the former prince had been ‘obsessively playing video games late into the night’ and that he was ‘prioritising gaming over work, health, and hygiene’.

Meanwhile, Mountbatten-Windsor, who was stripped of his royal titles last October, faces fresh legal strife, as a congressman accused him of perpetrating ‘sex crimes in the United States’.

At the beginning of September, Thomas Massie, a Republican representative from Kentucky, called for Mountbatten-Windsor to be ‘investigated and prosecuted’ in the wake of the Epstein files’ revelations.

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This follows existing allegations that he abused Virginia Giuffre, one of Epstein’s most prominent accusers, having paid her a settlement in 2022 without admitting any liability.

Mountbatten-Windsor has repeatedly denied any wrongdoing or having committed sex offences. He also denied ever meeting Giuffre.

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Converse pulls ad after claims it appeared to show a KKK lynching

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Converse pulls ad after claims it appeared to show a KKK lynching

Converse has apologized and pulled a sneaker ad after online backlash over imagery critics compared to the Ku Klux Klan and lynching.

The ad, part of Converse’s global campaign for its Chuck 70 X sneaker, featured K-pop star Karina of the group Aespa standing beneath a star-shaped spotlight while holding a pair of black high-top Converse sneakers. She wore a long white skirt, while the lighting made her silhouette look to many social media users like a KKK hood, with the dangling sneakers drawing comparisons to a lynching victim.

The Chuck 70 X was released globally on August 27, and the controversial image was posted to Converse’s social media accounts earlier this month. But the backlash intensified after social media users circulated an uncropped version of the advertisement, which they said made the resemblance to a pointed hood and hanging body more apparent.

Converse, which is owned by Nike, told The Independent in a statement: “We’re sorry. We understand why this image is deeply upsetting and recognize that we got this wrong. We removed it from our channels and are working to remove it everywhere it appeared. This should not have happened and we will do better.”

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Still, fans and public figures alike continued to share their thoughts on the ad.

Converse has apologized and pulled a sneaker ad after critics online said its imagery evoked the KKK and lynching
Converse has apologized and pulled a sneaker ad after critics online said its imagery evoked the KKK and lynching (Converse)

“No, you’re not crazy. Yes, the Converse ad is racist. Yes, it looks like a Klan outfit. Yes, it looks like a lynching. And no, ‘it’s just a shoe ad’ is not a defense,” one fan wrote on X.

Chicago-based photographer Stephanie Schwartz criticized the campaign on Threads, writing: “Shadow, light, and composition. Every photographer can tell you, whoever did this ad knew EXACTLY what they were doing.”

Actress Yvette Nicole Brown also reacted to the campaign on Threads, writing: “That’s a lynching, yes?”

The controversy also resurfaced a separate Converse campaign featuring footwear in a tree. The image, created for a collaboration with Copenhagen-based lifestyle brand Palmes, showed a person standing on a ladder with a pair of sneakers hanging from a tree branch. The image was reportedly released on September 14, Adweek reports.

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Social media users shared the image alongside the Karina ad, saying the two campaigns together heightened concerns about the imagery.

One Threads user described the second image as doubling down on the symbolism, while another posted them side-by-side, writing: “There is NO REASON why WE should see an advertisement & immediately think of Strange Fruit by Billie Holiday.”

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Strictly star Neil Jones reveals brutal response to curse of no partner yet again

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Strictly star Neil Jones reveals brutal response to curse of no partner yet again
Neil Jones has only ever had three Strictly partners in 10 years (Picture: BBC/Ray Burmiston/BBC Creative)

Tonight on the Strictly Come Dancing launch show, the 15 celebrities – including Lacey Turner, Dani Dyer, Bethany Antonia and Will Best – found out their partners.

However, not all of the pro dancers on the BBC series get to compete with a celebrity, and this year, Neil Jones has found himself unpartnered.

The 44-year-old has been a part of Strictly since 2016, and yet has only had three celebrity partners: Alex Scott in 2019, Nina Wadia in 2021 and Toyah Willcox in 2022.

Neil has responded directly to not having a partner yet again, as his personal Strictly curse continues – and his reaction is brutal, but brilliant.

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In a video posted on Instagram, he wrote on top of it: ‘If I get the pen in the bin I will get a celeb partner.’

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The video then showed him holding a pen directly over a bin, dropping it… but then, before it has a chance to land in the receptacle, someone else extends their arm and catches it.

Neil walks away, a disgruntled expression on his face as awkward music plays in the background.

In his caption, the dancer and choreographer wrote: ‘Pen in the cup 2.0 😂

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‘You know I love being part of @bbcstrictly and honestly after adding 2 Guiness world records last year to my 45 titles around the world, I feel like it would be greedy to win the glitter ball as well so I wanted to give the others a chance 😜😂😂😂.’

Several Strictly stars commented underneath the comical video, with pro dancer Kai Widdrington hailing Neil the ‘goat’ (greatest of all time).

TX DATE:25-12-2025,TX WEEK:51,EMBARGOED UNTIL:25-12-2025 18:45,PEOPLE:Jodie Ounsley & Neil Jones ,DESCRIPTION:Dancing Street Commercial to ?Red Christmas?,COPYRIGHT:BBC Public Service,CREDIT LINE:BBC/Guy Levy
Neil danced with Gladiators star Jodie Ounsley in last year’s Christmas special (Picture: BBC/Guy Levy)

‘Screaming. I love you 😂🥲,’ said House of the Dragon star Bethany Antona, who’s competing this year with Nancy Xu in the first same-sex pairing in three years.

Meanwhile, lots of Strictly fans expressed their confusion and upset over Neil not having a partner once more.

‘So sad that you haven’t gotten a partner again this year,’ said Jem, while Poppy wrote: ‘Christmas special’s yours boo.’

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Who are the Strictly couples for the 2026 series?

The full line-up of celebrities and their pro dancer partners are:

  • Lacey Turner and Vito Coppola
  • Graeme Hall and Lauren Oakley
  • Jowita Przystal and Lawrence Robb
  • Will Best and Dianne Buswell
  • Shaun Wright-Phillips and Alexis Warr
  • Melanie Walters and Aljaz Skorjanec
  • Mark Karmalita and Tabby Stoecker,
  • Julian Caillon and Dame Sarah Storey
  • Maddie Ingoldsby and Cach Mercer
  • Chris Appleton and Amy Dowden
  • John Nellis and Katya Jones
  • Carlos Gu and Jaime Winstone
  • Nikita Kuzmin and Dani Dyer
  • Kai Widdrington and Delta Goodrem
  • Nancy Xu and Bethany Antonia

‘We need a government petition to give Neil a partner next year!’ Charlotte stated.

Becki also said that while Neil’s video made her laugh, she’s ‘gutted you haven’t been paired up 🥺’.

‘Can’t believe you didn’t get a partner…AGAIN! 😢,’ said Lynne, as the similarly named Lyn added: ‘The best professional on the show and once again no partner, I am so disappointed, and if it wasn’t for you being there I would stop watching it.😢.’

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At least Neil seems to be taking it on the chin!

Strictly Come Dancing returns on Saturday night on BBC One and BBC iPlayer.

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