From avoiding confrontation to validating emotions, these five simple steps can help you respond more effectively to a child’s anxiety
When supporting a child or young person, start with curiosity. Try to explore what might be going on beneath the surface, rather than assuming you already know the cause. As adults, it is natural to reach conclusions quickly, but a child’s experience may be very different from what we expect. Staying open-minded allows space for underlying worries, unmet needs or hidden pressures to emerge.
Image: Ketut Subiyanto
Children are far more likely to open up when they feel emotionally safe. A calm, non-confrontational tone helps prevent them from feeling blamed or judged. Try to frame the difficulty as something they are experiencing, rather than something they are. When young people sense that they will be met with understanding rather than criticism, they are more willing to seek and accept support.
Image: Ketut Subiyanto
Anxiety can be confusing, particularly for younger children who may struggle to name what they are experiencing. Offering possible words for their emotions can help – are they feeling worried, overwhelmed or frustrated? Validate those feelings and let them know that whatever they’re feeling is OK. When emotions are acknowledged rather than dismissed, children feel safer talking about them.
Image: Jordan Whitt
Follow the young person’s lead, especially at the beginning of a conversation. If an adult pushes too quickly for answers or solutions, the child may retreat. Allow pauses. Accept partial explanations. Make it clear that they can share as much or as little as they feel able to. This steady approach helps them feel contained, supported and in control of their story.
Image: Vitaly Gariev
Problem-solving is important, but timing matters. When a child is overwhelmed, their thinking brain is less accessible. Focus first on helping them feel calm and understood. Once they are more settled, you can gently explore possible next steps together. Approaching solutions collaboratively, rather than imposing them, strengthens confidence and resilience.
Image: Pham Nghia
Main image: Xavier Mouton
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