How each star sign self-sabotages love and relationships

Everyone wants a happy-ever-after (by their definition) in love, and when things don’t turn out that way it’s an easy, but not helpful, habit to look outside the relationship for blame or influence.

Actually, in many cases, it’s our own patterns, fears, and blind spots quietly running the show. And that’s good news because that means the secrets to success lie within your own remit.

Astrology offers a revealing lens into these habits. Each zodiac sign has strengths in relationships, but also a signature way of self-sabotaging love — usually without realising it.

Here’s how each star sign tends to get in their own way.

Aries

March 21 to April 20

How Aries self-sabotages in love: Impatience

Burning passion often has a shelf life, and you’ve got the intensity but not always the longevity when it comes to love affairts. Your self-sabotage is impatience. You want passion now, resolution now, certainty now.

Slow down, let things unfold at their own pace, and accept what comes. You might be surprised that slower-building love can reach deeper and last longer.

Head here for everything you need to know about being an Aries

Taurus

April 21 to May 21

How Taurus self-sabotages in love: The Taurean love of certainty and stability can create a side-effect fear of change which can keep you stuck in situations long past their sell-by date.

Even when you know things aren’t right, you don’t let go. And this can waste months, even years, of life! Love takes work and isn’t all sunshine and flowers, but it shouldn’t feel like an endurance test either.

Head here for everything you need to know about being a Taurus

Gemini

May 22 to June 21

How Gemini self-sabotages in love: The overthinking! Your mind can be heaven or hell, a best friend or a worst enemy… and in relationships there’s always doubts, strange moments, whispers and crossed wires which provides more than enough fodder for analysis and projection and assumption.

Don’t jump to conclusions, always get the facts, or validate your hypothesis, before you decide how someone feels about you.

Head here for everything you need to know about being a Gemini

Cancer

June 22 to July 23

How Cancer self-sabotages in love: Your fear of rejection can make you retreat or test people emotionally. You self-sabotage by expecting others to ‘just know’ how you feel.

Then, when they inevitably fail these tests, you can sulk or withdraw and will not offer any reason why, because you fear they’ll be scared off by knowing how intensely you ‘monitor’ them. Open up, talk about it, ask for what you need.

Head here for everything you need to know about being a Cancer

Leo

July 24 to August 23

How Leo self-sabotages in love: Everyone loves Leo — but your need to feel valued can tip into seeking constant validation and tying your worth to how much attention or affection you receive.

Your partner isn’t a bottomless well of compliments and passion for you alone and (long term) things won’t feel like a movie romance, or an effortless passion fest centred on you. Self respect and love are your route out of this.

Head here for everything you need to know about being a Leo

Virgo

August 24 to September 23

How Virgo self-sabotages in love: You are naturally a helpful person who wants to ‘fix’ whatever is visibly wrong in your own and your loved ones’ lives. Your self-sabotage is perfectionism. This urge to repair, upgrade and improve can exhaust other folk, make them feel they’re not up to scratch, inject a mood of stress and tension and judgment into what should just be an easygoing, fun time.

It’s hard for you to drop your standards but, sometimes, love just needs to be accepted as it is. You can’t force or make other folk something that they’re just not.

Head here for everything you need to know about being a Virgo

Libra

September 24 to October 23

How Libra self-sabotages in love: You’re effortlessly charming and diplomatic but this can slip into a desire to keep the peace that can lead you to avoiding all conflict or suppressing your true feelings. Ultimately it always backfires because resentment builds when you’re always accommodating others, and then you explode.

Face into small battles sooner and fight them well, start out on firm and fair footing, nip things in the bud.

Head here for everything you need to know about being a Libra

Scorpio

October 24 to November 22

How Scorpio self-sabotages in love: Love is a deep and intense emotion when you’re truly attracted and magnetised to someone — but your fear of betrayal can make you guarded or controlling. Sometimes this leads to you testing loyalty by laying traps, or holding emotional power with silence or distance.

Real intimacy requires vulnerability, not surveillance, so you must force yourself to trust someone until the point they truly give you reason not to. Start out open-hearted, not on guard.

Head here for everything you need to know about being a Scorpio

Sagittarius

November 23 to December 21

How Sagittarius self-sabotages in love: Avoidant behaviour is a common trait of Sagittarian folk because you crave freedom and adventure. Keeping things as light and casual as possible feeds your need for independence, because you think you should always be able to see the exit sign… but true love asks you to stay, not go.

You must resist this urge to bolt when things start to get serious — it only means you have to start all over again, anyway. Stay and see what happens!

Head here for everything you need to know about being a Sagittarius

Capricorn

December 22 to January 21

How Capricorn self-sabotages in love: Stoicism, ambition and strength are such deeply attractive traits in you, but they do have a flip-side. You self-sabotage by closing off your feelings when you feel unsure or emotional.

Love isn’t something to manage like a project — it needs presence, vulnerability, and the courage to ride the waves with someone, never guaranteeing how it’ll all turn out. Love is an adventure not a job.

Head here for everything you need to know about being a Capricorn

Aquarius

January 22 to February 19

How Aquarius self-sabotages in love: Aloof and detached are words that get used to describe Aquarians many times. You are warm, friendly and outgoing but, in love, your colder side can emerge, maybe to protect your free spirit from being trapped, maybe to ensure you’re getting the space to express yourself fully.

You can step back and observe rather than experience things too, which also looks like detachment to others. Let yourself feel, not just analyse.

Head here for everything you need to know about being an Aquarius

Pisces

February 20 to March 20

How Pisces self-sabotages in love: Those in love can wear rose-tinted glasses about their partner, and this is definitely true for Pisces. Your self-sabotage is escapism. You see potential instead of reality. This can lead you to believing whatever you’re told, vs shown, if it upholds the daydream and vision of love you’ve bought into.

Come down to Earth, see folk for what they are, take actions over and above words. You’re too good to be treated poorly!

Head here for everything you need to know about being a Pisces

Kerry King has been reading, teaching and creating tarot for 30 years. Join her magical, exclusive Tarot Club for forecasts, predictions, lessons and readings straight to your inbox. Enjoy one month free for all Metro readers (no lock-in or commitment) over on Patreon.

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