How I learned stand-up in 30 days ahead of Consett Comedy Festival

That purpose?

Performing live on stage at the main night of Consett Comedy Festival, in front of hundreds of people. It will be my first ever gig.

The road to get to where we are has been littered with scraps of paper etched with terrible jokes, each floating down in a depressing swoosh towards rock bottom.

But then, rock bottom showed me that the only way was up, and with the help of North East comedy legend Steffen Peddie, I have crafted at least one joke that is sure to get one audience member to at least exhale audibly from their nose.

Steffen Peddie. (Image: STEFFEN PEDDIE)

His best piece of advice was to not take myself too seriously and to “get in front of a mirror and be comfortable talking to yourself.”

I also sent speculative messages to an array of comedians to see if any had any advice for me. Stand-up and YouTuber Max Fosh said: “Being as prepared as possible is the best way forward!”

I have also learned a lot about myself in the process, about the best ways I can memorise a large chunk of text.

Many performers have many different ways of learning to speak on stage. I have two.

I practiced on stage for the first time on Saturday. (Image: NORTHERN ECHO)

It turns out standing on a rock on the edge of a hill and forcing myself to hurl very much work-in-progress comedy at a housing estate is a good way to get my brain to remember something. So if you see me wandering the streets shouting about ready meals, I’ve probably gone to get some shopping and forgotten the list.

Memorising my set by performing it to a housing estate wasn’t on my bingo card. (Image: NORTHERN ECHO)

The second? Wandering around the house with the iron or hair straighteners as stand-in mics.

The iron became my stand-in microphone. (Image: NORTHERN ECHO)

More prep

My latest hurdle came in the form of getting on a stage in front of a handful of comedians in Blyth to perform my set, which felt like I was a finger painter presenting a handprint to Banksy.

Struggling to the microphone, I tripped over my words and stammered through my opening.

“Again.”

So we did it again.

I messed it up again.

It’s a brilliant resilience builder, being forced to make a fool of yourself underneath very bright lights and with a sound system echoing your mistakes to an entire room.

@joshua.nichol Day 24 of learning stand up comedy before my first ever gig at Consett Comedy Festival. PREP PREP PREP argghhh #comedy #standup #consett (and a lovely thanks to @Max Fosh ♬ original sound – Joshua Nichol

But I powered through. I learned how to use my restlessness on stage to my advantage, moving around to try and engage the audience (which, yes, were empty seats at this stage, but theory before practical). I also learned how to try and calm my nerves, although whether I remember this on the night will be another thing.

Stand up comedy is not journalism. I cannot go back and rewrite something to make it sound better when I am on stage.

But it is exhilarating and fun and I am going to put my all into next week.

There will be laughter. Whether it is with me, or at me is another question.

Consett Comedy Festival’s main night is on Saturday, May 2, and the line-up includes Alun Cochrane, Matt Reed, Will Burns, Hannah Margaret… and me.

Get your tickets here: www.universe.com/events/consett-comedy-festival-2026-tickets-RKCMN4.