Lindsay Clancy note reveals she was ‘terrified of something happening’ to her children despite feeling ‘resentful’ towards them: Live updates

A note on Lindsay Clancy’s phone from October 25, 2022, appeared to detail her internal thoughts on her children, an investigator claimed.

The killer put her head in her hands at the defense table while the note was read aloud by Massachusetts State Police trooper Timothy Chiappini.

‘I am sad and depressed because I am not able to parent my third child like my first,’ the extract said.

‘I am sad that I stopped breastfeeding. I feel not as connected with Cal now. I think I sort of resent my other children because they prevent me from treating Cal like my first baby. And I know that’s not fair to them.’

She also appeared to write about wanting to have more children.

‘I want to feel love and connection with all my kids. I’m also probably having a bit of an internal conflict because my whole life I wanted to have a lot of kids,’ the note continued.

‘I still don’t want Cal to be our last, but I have a lot of figuring out to do before I have another.’

Clancy also noted concerns about starting medication.

‘I am on the fence about starting a new medication for anxiety/depression. I just want to feel happy,’ the note said.

‘Cal was so very planned and desired. I want to be able to give him all the love he deserves. I guess that’s what it’s like to be the third child, though.’

The note continued: ‘I’m terrified of something happening to my kids or doing something wrong to mess up their development.’

The primal, unearthly scream reverberated all around the packed courtroom.

It was a tortured, guttural wail unlike any sound I have ever heard before.

Over several excruciating seconds, Patrick Clancy continued to scream inaudibly. The only words discernible were cries of ‘Oh my god!’

Then came the four horrifying words that laid bare the unspeakable scene that the father-of-three had just walked into.

‘She killed the kids!’

Inside Plymouth County Superior Court in Massachusetts, the deeply distressing 911 call from the evening of January 24, 2023, visibly took its toll on everyone in the packed courtroom.

Lindsay Clancy, 36, is accused of murdering her three children – Cora, five, Dawson, three, and eight-month-old Callan – in January 2023.

Although Clancy does not deny killing her children, she has pleaded not guilty and claimed she is not responsible for her actions because she was suffering from postpartum psychosis.

On the day of the killings, Clancy asked her husband, Patrick Clancy, to leave their home to get takeout food and to pick up something at a pharmacy.

Clancy strangled the children with exercise bands, then used multiple methods to try to end her own life.

She was paralyzed after falling from the home’s second-story window and is being held at a state hospital.

If you or someone you know needs help, please call or text the confidential 24/7 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the US on 988. There is also an online chat available at 988lifeline.org.

Massachusetts State Police investigator Timothy Chiappini finished his testimony and the judge ordered the lunch recess.

Court is expected to resume around 2pm ET.

Records show that Lindsay Clancy’s mother texted her asking how she was feeling in the weeks leading up to the killings.

On January 12, 2023, Paula Musgrove asked her daughter, ‘Still feeling a little better?’

Clancy replied, ‘A little bit.’

On January 14, Clancy texted her mother, ‘Hanging in there and waiting for the day I wake up feeling like me.’

Reddington has blown up pages showing some of Lindsay Clancy’s cell phone records.

The other searches found on Clancy’s device include: ‘Where is the carotid artery,’ ‘How to slit your throat to die’ and ‘Can you turn airbags off Kia Sorrento.’

On cross-examination of Massachusetts State Police investigator Timothy Chiappini, Lindsay Clancy’s attorney suggested that calendar entries on his client’s phone show she was not at home at the time Patrick’s laptop searched for suicide methods in August 2022.

Kevin Reddington also pointed to data showing that Patrick’s email account signed in to her Facebook.

An apparent diary and list of affirmations were found during the data extraction of Lindsay Clancy’s phone, according to Massachusetts State Police investigator Timothy Chiappini.

The data extraction of Lindsay Clancy’s phone found a search for ‘Can you treat a sociopath’ on January 20, 2023, according to Massachusetts State Police investigator Timothy Chiappini.

The prosecution called Massachusetts State Police investigator Timothy Chiappini to the stand.

He analyzed data from Lindsay Clancy’s phone.

Kevin Reddington, Lindsay Clancy’s attorney, came in fiery with his cross-examination.

‘That’s it? That’s your testimony today?’ he asked Kyle Pavao, of the Massachusetts State Police, gesturing with his hands.

Then the defense suggested that Clancy’s husband, Patrick, made these searches.

‘Did you know that Patrick’s email signed in to his wife’s Facebook account?’ Reddington asked.

The officer said he did not.

On August 23, 2022, Lindsay Clancy had taken two-year-old Dawson to South Shore Hospital for an appointment at 10.15am.

Reddington is suggesting that Clancy was not at home on the laptop at the time.

Reddington is also suggesting that the investigator has been somewhat selective about the data he analyzed.

Around that time, the laptop also accessed CNBC and a Google Gmail account.

Sergeant Pavao said he did not know whose account that was. Instead, the investigator focused on Clancy’s Facebook and the suicide methods.

The investigator also confirmed that he found no searches for ‘ways to kill.’ This contradicts information the prosecution has previously presented.

Massachusetts State Police sergeant Kyle Pavao was called to the stand to testify about the search history of suicide methods on the Clancy family laptop.

Patrick Clancy previously testified that he could have made the online search for suicide methods.

In the opening week of the trial, Patrick was asked about these internet searches.

Patrick answered that he had not made the search, therefore prosecutors implied it was Lindsay who looked it up.

When the defense questioned him, Patrick testified that he remembered listening to Tom Hall’s music around that time.

The defense suggested that Patrick accidentally opened the ‘suicide methods’ link through Hall’s Wikipedia page when he was listening to his music.

When asked if he had inadvertently accessed the search for suicide methods, Patrick testified: ‘It sounds like that was the case.’

Pavao confirmed that his extraction showed that there was a visit to Lindsay’s Facebook page at 9.40am on August 23, 2022.

That link was followed by a Spotify search for the singer Tom Hall, then there was a Google search for Tom Hall, which led to a Wikipedia page.

From there, there was an ‘anchor’ to the URL to the ‘death section’ of Hall’s Wikipedia page, and the next link was the suicide methods page.

Hall died by suicide.

If you or someone you know needs help, please call or text the confidential 24/7 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the US on 988. There is also an online chat available at 988lifeline.org.