‘Mum was outgoing, funny and social. We never expected her death’

Carys Davies suffered a decline in her mental health during the menopause

The family of Carys Davies are sharing her story to help other women who may be going through what she did. The 63-year-old, an environmental health officer from Nantgaredig in Carmarthenshire, is remembered by her family as outgoing and social with a silly sense of humour.

The mum-of-three died in May 2025. Her family said she took her own life after suffering a decline in her mental health during the menopause.

Her daughter Alys said: “If you break your leg or have a heart attack there are treatments in place. There are less obvious symptoms with your mental health but it should be treated in the same way because it is an illness.”

Carys lived in Carmarthenshire her whole life and her parents lived there too. Her family remember her warmth, caring nature, and laughter.

“My mum was a very outgoing person, funny, social, very silly sense of humour, always incredibly stylish and I’d say her biggest trait was her care,” said Alys.

“Her passion was being a mum and that’s the thing she cherished the most. She had this great nature of putting others ahead of her and effortlessly being an absolute supermum.”

However, like many women, when Carys began the menopause the anxieties and worries which had previously been manageable became all consuming. She was struggling to sleep, overthinking, and her anxiety became much worse.

“My mum felt isolated with it and even with us, who aren’t suffering with the same anxiety, it’s hard to feel like you aren’t alone sometimes,” Alys added.

“Women can often carry a lot of anxiety and tend to worry and stress about things. She was always known to be a worrier and I think the menopause around that time it’s with a shift of hormonal change, the symptoms worsened and were far more heightened and became unmanageable.”

Alys believes her mum’s symptoms being managed earlier could’ve helped her. She thinks there needs to be more awareness from peri to menopausal age and GPs need to be better informed around the differences between the ageing woman and the ageing man.

She continued: “I think for my mum’s case and many other women it’s two things with women – they either say nothing and carry their weight silently, or they try and express it and we get tarnished with the menopausal women who complain.

“My mum’s death was not something we ever expected, ever worried about, ever feared for the future and it just shows the depths of which mental health can take over and become unmanageable for the normal folk.”

Unfortunately research shows that Carys’ story is not unique. Around one in six women have suicidal thoughts at this stage of life, and suicide rates are highest among women aged 45 to 50.

Alys added: “I see it as my mum being incredibly brave because it’s unimaginable she could do that and would never have wanted to do that. We are a lovely family and it shows the depth that your suffering can take you.

“It’s about brushing off the stigma of both mental health and the menopause, and encouraging people to talk about both those things.”

Advertisement

Now Carys’ husband has embarked on a huge challenge – running the London Marathon to raise money for The Menopause Charity.

Paul Davies, 69, has always enjoyed running but his daughter Alys admitted he’d never challenged himself in this way before, and said running for her mum was a whole new challenge.

Paul added: “This is not an easy story to tell. But if sharing what happened to Carys helps another woman or another family, then it is the right thing to do. We miss her every day.”

The Menopause Charity raises awareness and provides trusted information and support. The charity wants more people in Wales and across the UK to understand how menopause can affect mental health, and to help women and partners feel more comfortable talking about menopause and supporting one another.

Alys said: “The charity allows women to feel there’s a platform they can symptom check that is evidence-based because they are doing the research to back it up.

“There’s a lot of differing information when it comes to HRT for example so it’s having that one place and platform people can get their information safely.

“This is something I felt reached to many woman and not just my mum.”

Paul has raised over £7,000 for The Menopause Charity so far. You can donate to his JustGiving page here.