‘My husband did the unthinkable during our IFV journey and it’s ruined our family’

A woman shared her heartbreak after discovering what her husband was doing during their IVF journey – and she now she fears it’s ruined their family and created countless arguments

A woman is heartbroken after discovering a dark truth about her husband just two years after their IVF journey. The 36-year-old, who has battled fertility problems for much of her adult life, opted for IVF in the hope of having a biological child of her own.

Two years ago, she welcomed a baby boy with the help of a college friend, who agreed to carry the child as a surrogate. However, after dedicating herself wholeheartedly to raising him, she made the heartbreaking discovery that he is not her biological son. She said on Reddit: “I can’t believe my life has come to this. I have been with my husband, 35, for a total of almost 10 years, married for seven.

“We had what I thought was my child by surrogate over two years ago because after four years of trying to conceive with no success despite medical interventions, it turns out I am unable to carry a child to term. I had always wanted to be a mum.”

She reached out to her college friend for support, who already has two children of her own and agreed to act as surrogate without a moment’s hesitation. It took three rounds of IVF before she fell pregnant – and nine months later, she gave birth to a happy, healthy baby boy.

Throughout the journey, the three developed a close bond which continued long after the baby arrived, with her friend and husband spending time together without her present.

She added: “I was so happy and busy after the birth, between being a mum and returning to work after a four week parental leave, so I didn’t notice any warning signs.”

The woman explained how she would return home for the weekend and see her friend and husband relaxing in front of the TV together.

She said: “I chalked it up as innocuous and it’s good for her to know my husband better since she was in the process of hopefully carrying our child for us.”

The devastating truth only emerged when she took her son to a routine doctor’s appointment, where a blood test was carried out.

“He had a blood type that is not biologically possible to have with me as his mother,” she added. “He’s B+, I’m A+, husband is O+.

“I started worrying it was the fertility clinic’s fault and that they’d messed up and implanted a wrong embryo.

“I started lining up lawyer consultations to possibly sue the clinic and looked into having a DNA parentage test done.

“The test results showed that I’m not the mother but my husband still is the father. I was heartbroken and angrier than ever, talked to lawyers about medical malpractice in the fertility clinic we’d used.

“Then my husband confessed that he’d slept with my friend (our surrogate) on a few different occasions during our struggle to have her get pregnant with our embryos.

“This means what I thought was our son conceived by IVF and carried with a surrogate, isn’t my son at all and was in fact conceived the old fashioned way, which I can’t ever do.”

Devastated, the woman admits she is struggling to come to terms with the betrayal and now wants absolutely nothing to do with her husband or his son.

She said: “I had such white hot rage and delirium, I immediately left home and stayed at a hotel for almost a week before asking my parents to let me stay at home for a while.

“I admit I left our son with him. I am now filing divorce because he cheated and betrayed me in the worst possible way.

“I have also cut off my friendship with my ‘friend’ the ‘surrogate’ and feel afraid to trust anyone else now.

“I have seen a divorce lawyer to see about giving up my legal rights to this kid so I don’t have to face such betrayal or owe child support.”