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The ‘sloppy’ fetish whetting Brits’ sexual appetites more than ever
A churn of saliva. A clashing of teeth. Way too much tongue.
These are just some of the components of a kiss many of us would rather forget.
So, it might come as a surprise to hear that more and more Brits have been searching for this kind of smooch on porn sites.
In fact, in the past two years, searches for the term ‘kissing fetish’ have surged by 67% on adult content marketplace, Clips4Sale, making it one of the most lucrative categories.
That’s kisses that are ‘wet’ and ‘smokey’, according to search terms, as well as those that you might associate with a good snogger, including ‘erotic’, ‘romantic’ and ‘SFW (safe for work)’.
In the r/dating subReddit, users have been sharing their love of a ‘sloppy and wet make-out session.’
‘I yearn for a sloppy make out session,’ wrote one user, while another said: ‘I love spit swapping, tonsil wrestling, tongue tied make out sessions.’
Our jaws hurt just thinking about it, but sex therapist Courtney Boyer is hardly surprised that kissing fetish is finally having its moment.
‘Kissing sits right at the intersection of emotional intimacy and physical arousal,’ she tells Metro. ‘The lips are packed with nerve endings, so even light contact can send strong sensory signals through the body.
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‘Throw in eye contact, anticipation, scent, and emotional connection, and it becomes a powerful erotic trigger.
‘This is often more psychologically charged than overt sexual touch.’
Why are so many Brits getting off to kissing videos?
Courtney explains that, like most fetishes, our penchant for the intimate act develops through early imprinting. ‘Because kissing is often our first intimate act, it can hold emotional and erotic significance that carried into adulthood.’
That certainly makes sense, but what’s the appeal of the ‘washing-machine’ style snog?
Well, Courtney says the wet noises can hold a particular allure.
‘Sound and sensation amplify arousal,’ Courtney adds. ‘Wet kissing noises can heighten realism, and signal a mutual desire and immersion in the moment.’ Essentially, it shows that the pair are really digging the smooch.
Kissing fetish and the link to ‘spit-play’
It doesn’t take a genius to work out that a particularly wet kiss could be a gateway drug into ‘spit-play’, aka spitting in someone’s mouth.
Michael B Jordan’s ‘Sinners’ went viral for its ‘spit scene’ where Mary (Hailee Steinfeld) straddles Stack and slowly and erotically spits a whole lot of saliva into his mouth. A spitting scene was also featured in Lena Dunham’s Too Much series.
Sex psychotherapist Gigi Engle explains that spitting in someone’s mouth aka spit play or saliva swapping, is very alluring in the world of dom-sub play.
‘By letting someone spit in your mouth, you’re consensually submitting to the other person,’ she tells Metro. ‘It also ties into humiliation play.
‘Some people will enjoy the degradation because spitting on someone is culturally demeaning, so during sex it has an erotic charge.’
She adds that some people can find bodily fluids like spit attractive in itself, finding the thought of someone else’s fluids sexy.
It might seem like it’s suddenly become all the rage, but Gigi says spit play isn’t new.
‘People have always done spit play in dominant submissive dynamics – we’re simply seeing more media attention on it,’ she says. ‘People are seeing it more, finding it interesting and experimenting with it.’
Specific searches for things like ‘smokey kisses’ also point to a desire for sex acts that feel a little bit wrong.
‘These refer to kissing where smoke, often from cigarettes or vapes, is shared mouth-to-mouth,’ Courtney says. ‘For some, the appeal lies in taboo, the combination of all senses (taste and smell), and the intimacy of sharing air.
‘It blends rebellion with closeness, which can feel edgy and erotic.’
The fetish can also overlap with kinks like breath play, oral fixations, sensory play and even romantic dom and sub dynamics.
‘All of these center on closeness, control, and sensory immersion, which are core elements of erotic kissing,’ Courtney explains.
Keeping it PG
On the other end of the spectrum, SFW (safe for work) kisses were another frequently searched-for term, suggesting there are those out there looking for a more PG exchange.
‘Despite an increase among the younger generation in more aggressive acts like choking, there is also a growing appetite for softer intimacy,’ Courtney says.
‘Kissing that feels affectionate, slow, and emotionally grounded rather than overtly sexual.
‘In times of stress or digital overload, people often crave comfort, safety, and nostalgia. “SFW” content offers arousal rooted in connection rather than explicitness.’
While the kissing fetish spans all genders, Courtney says that research and clinical insights suggest women are more likely to eroticise kissing because they tend to ‘link arousal with emotion’.
‘That said, men absolutely share the fetish,’ she adds, ‘particularly when kissing is framed as a marker of mutual desire or conquest. It’s less about gender and more about how individuals eroticise intimacy.’
How sacred is the snog?
Susie Masterson, BACP psychotherapist and relationship coach, previously told Metro kissing is an ‘incredibly intimate act, sometimes more so than sex’.
Take Julia Roberts’ character in Pretty Woman, who has a ‘no kissing’ rule for precisely this reason.
If you think about it, there’s little comparison to the moment someone looks in your eyes, then looks to your mouth, finally letting slip they’re as into you as you are into them. And then smushing your faces together.
For Metro lifestyle journalist, Charlie Sawyer, a simple snog is unmatched. ‘I’ve been a fan of snogging for well over a decade and can confirm participating in some mouth to mouth action in public places will forever be my favourite pastime,’ she says.
‘I love that a kiss can mean so many different things. It could mean “I hate you” or “I still love you” or “I don’t ever want to see you again but oh my god I’m so happy I met you”.’
But why the sudden uptick?
With a dramatic increase in demand for kissing fetish videos in the past two years, you do have to wonder what sparked the surge in interest.
For Courtney, post-pandemic psychology plays a major role. ‘Periods of isolation heightened our awareness of touch deprivation,’ she says.
‘Kissing, intimate but accessible, became symbolic of reconnection. At the same time, dating culture has been recalibrating toward slower, more intentional intimacy.’
And while the act of kissing itself has always been erotic, the expert suggests its rise as a standalone fetish is tied to online culture, too.
‘Particularly, it’s the growth of searchable, niche content over the past decade,’ she says. ‘As people realise their specific turn-ons are shared by others, interest and visibility increases.’
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