The white kiss is the ‘sloppy’ sex act men and women agree is a green flag

A smooch. A snog. Sucking face. Whichever way you phrase it, a kiss can feel pretty damn amazing.

But there’s one form of lip-locking that both men and women feel very passionate about.

A ‘white kiss’ is when you kiss your partner immediately after giving them oral sex — with no clean up, meaning there are still bodily fluids involved.

It’s so beloved, that couples online have called engaging in it a ‘green flag’.

Sexologist Becky Crepsley-Fox explains: ‘Sharing fluids, mixing tastes — it can feel like total acceptance of another person.

‘There’s something about allowing that level of closeness that feels really good and like complete connection.’

When asked about white kissing on Reddit, people were quick to respond.

‘That’s actually my favourite part of receiving oral sex,’ wrote on commenter. ‘It’s so hot to taste myself on my partner’s mouth.’

‘He even pulls my head up to kiss me, so I don’t think he minds the sloppiness or taste,’ another added.

Others enjoyed it because they wanted their partner to feel as desired as they do.

‘She’ll kiss me after I eat her out, so I will kiss her after she gives me a BJ,’ explained one guy.

‘Would you want to give someone head, if they immediately treated you like you were disgusting after you did?’ asked another another.

One person felt that ‘being squeamish about bodily fluids is a huge turn off’, while another joked a ‘chef’s got to taste his own cooking’.

But, as with all sex acts, some said it just wasn’t their thing.

‘My wife and I will not kiss after oral until we wash our mouths. We just find it gross,’ one man wrote.

Why the taboo with kissing after oral sex?

Long story short, bodily fluids are still a bit taboo.

‘There’s definitely an element of shame there,’ sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight tells Metro. ‘You don’t have to look far to see how periods are still vilified in part for this reason.

‘I find men in particular carry some (conscious or subconscious) misgivings around interacting with their own bodily fluids, which might somewhat explain why many of them don’t like to kiss after receiving oral.’

Annabelle adds that for men, the problem can run deeper.

‘To some it might even seem akin to giving yourself (or someone of the same sex) oral,’ she explains. ‘It’s possible there is some internalised shame around sex and sexuality having an effect on this.’

For Becky Crepsley-Fox, another reason is simply that people can feel ‘grossed out by it’.

‘Some people are uncomfortable with tasting their own fluids, or worry about hygiene,’ she tells Metro. ‘Bodies are intimate, and not everyone has the same relationship with that level of closeness.’

But Annabelle caveats this with a word of wisdom. ‘If you’re willing to let your partner put their mouth on your genitals, then you should have no problem kissing afterwards,’ she says.

Why can it be a turn-on?

But for all the reasons it can turn people off, kissing after oral sex can also turn people on.

As we previously mentioned, a white kiss can indicate a certain level of closeness.

And, Anabelle adds that as kissing itself is a really passionate act, when you add a shared kiss after one partner has just given oral, you ‘up the intimacy tenfold’.

‘Oral sex can also be seen as quite transactional, so kissing immediately after brings an element of passion for both partners to share,’ she adds.  

The most important thing

Regardless of people’s thoughts about a white kiss, both experts agree that the most important thing is that you enjoy it. If not, don’t do it.

‘Consent should be a core part of any sexual activity, so it’s definitely something you should discuss before sex,’ Annabelle says.

‘Aside from the question of consent, it can be an exciting way to learn about your partner’s preferences, and share your own with them (if you love it, you can let them know).’

Of course, if you are into it, just remember there is a slim STI risk to this.

‘Kissing after oral sex doesn’t usually carry significantly more transmission risk than the oral sex itself, because most STIs would already be transmissible during that part,’ Becky explains.

‘That said, infections like gonorrhoea and chlamydia can spread to the mouth and throat this way, so if you have any concerns it’s always worth getting checked.’

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