This sex ritual means my wife and I never wake up horny after a night out

Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.

This week we hear from 38-year-old married dad-of-two Calvin*, who has been with his wife, Marie*, since 2017.

After tying the knot in 2021, they have a little boy, now four, and a girl, now two, but Calving says being busy working parents isn’t conducive to a hyper-active sex life.

‘We have sex about twice a week and I’m really happy with how my wife and I communicate and enjoy our time together,’ he says.

Despite their best efforts, they sometimes have three-week dry patches because of the demands of work and childcare.

‘I’d like my sex life to be a bit more regular and adventurous, but life gets in the way,’ he adds. ‘While we don’t schedule sex in the diary, we do make an effort to make time for each other.’

So, without any further ado, here’s how she got on this week…

The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.

Monday

Who has sex on a Monday? I’m half-joking.

Maybe in years gone by when I was a student it was on the cards, but as a working parent in my late 30s, sex just isn’t on the agenda at the start of the week.

I’m working from home today with plenty to get through, before picking our kids up from nursery in late afternoon.

Marie gets home just after I get back from the nursery run, and she’s had a rough day.

We talk it over, I try and offer support, and see if there’s anything else I can do. It goes without saying that I pick up the slack with the kids, get the housework done, and generally just try to be helpful.

The rest of the evening is about having dinner and keeping our two little ones content before it’s time for bed. It’s just a routine Monday.

Tuesday

I’m looking forward to my night out with Marie on Friday, and it’s serving as today’s motivation.

We don’t get out alone together too often, but this is a formal event related to her work. During the day, I get some twinges thinking of what Marie could be wearing underneath her dress for the occasion. I’ll need to tell her.

The anticipation is a huge turn on for me. I like to be teased and thrilled, it keeps things fun and exciting, as well as making sure the intimacy is alive.

Marie gets home from work late, but as the kids are with my parents until late this evening, we have time together to enjoy dinner and talk. It sounds simple, but it doesn’t always happen as parents.

It is crucial to connect and talk, in and out of the bedroom for us, otherwise complacency can set in and it can cause silly niggles between us. Often though, we’re both just missing sex and connection.

While making dinner, we’re playful, touching and kissing each other here and there. When she’s at the sink, I come up close behind her and grab her curvy bottom, then rub myself against her while kissing her neck.

I tell her how much I like her ass. She likes it, but she’s too busy peeling the potatoes to act on it. Teasing is great, though. The more the better.

Dinner is delicious, but we ate too much while nattering about work and kid stuff.

Our window of opportunity for sex has passed, and soon after the kids get home, so there’s too much going on.

It’s a late night by the time the kids are settled, and we’re ready to crash out. Missing out on sex can be disappointing and frustrating for my wife and I, but mostly it’s because of the kids, which can’t be helped.

Wednesday

Today is a disaster for me. I have our son all day and while he’s well-behaved, he just wants to play and get my attention all day.

Unfortunately, I have one work task to complete and getting it done is taking much longer than expected. Our son has some tantrums because I can’t play yet, and I’ve got a tension headache that just won’t shift.

I’m just not feeling good at all today, and I’m not in the mood for anything.

A busy day extends to the evening with a lot of housework and extra admin to do at home. Mariegets home with our daughter, and soon my son is playing football is a bundle of energy and mess.

We have dinner, play for a little with the kids, and then fall into bed.

Thursday

I wake up as Marie is getting ready for work.

She’s wearing a matching red underwear set that makes me want to pull her back into bed. I give her a compliment and she bends over and slaps her ass, but tells me that she needs to go, and that I’ll have to wait until later.

We kiss, and she leaves for work, but I need to relieve myself. I reach for my phone and into my ‘w**k bank’ of raunchy pics of Marie.

She knows I occasionally take pictures of her while we’re having sex, and while I do sometimes watch porn, I prefer to look at my wife.

I’m getting very horny and think about later, tomorrow night, and what I want to do. Masturbating is a good decision, instant gratification, self-pleasure and looking at my wife. What’s not to like?

Time for a shower before the kids wake and the day begins for real. They’re off to their grandparents’ house until tonight.

In the evening, Marie returns home in the mood, and tells me straight away what she wants. We both go upstairs and I can hear her getting changed in our bedroom, as I’m brushing my teeth.

I enter our room to see my wife lying on the bed in a very sexy, strappy underwear set. She’s touching herself already and teasing me. I’m hard as I strip down to my boxer shorts.

We are both on the bed, watching each other masturbate. We love it. It feels sexy and intimate. It f***ing feels good. Next, I go down on her and take my time. We’re enjoying every moment.

I kiss and touch her all over, with extra time spent on her ass. It’s that good.

She’s lying on her front, I’m leaning on top of her back with my hand underneath her. I ask her what she’ll be wearing tomorrow night and she giggles. She’s too horny and locked in for a proper answer.

We do doggy, then missionary with her legs up, the latter of which is a favourite of mine. We go for as long as we can over the next five minutes or so, before coming together.

Friday

It’s a busy work day and there’s lots to do, but before I know it, the evening has arrived. The kids get picked up by my sister-in-law before we go out.

My wife and I both like the concept of ‘f*** first’. Going out for dinner, out for drinks, or with friends? You can have plans for a big finish to the night, but it doesn’t always happen, so do it before you go out.

We’re both touching each other before we’re even washed and changed. We’re naked and taking advantage. Some nice kissing turns to doggy over the bed, but it’s a quickie and nothing wrong with that. We have somewhere to be!

We both feel sexy, horny, closer together, and very satisfied.

Then we scrub up well, both complementing each other, and are ready to go. While out at the dinner event, I touch her leg and caress her subtly a few times.

I wonder if we might have round two tonight, but we get home later than planned and tiredness takes over.

Saturday

The kids are coming back early, but we wake up before with a cuddle.

A few moments later, I reach around to her front with my hand, and she reaches back for me. We lock eyes and enjoy the feeling, sound, and touch of pleasuring each other with our hands.

After a few minutes, she takes control, sits up, and briefly touches herself before putting her fingers in my mouth. This is something we both find incredibly dirty and intimate, it’s a major turn on for us.

Then she goes back down on me with her hand to finish me off. It’s good, quality time and we enjoy the climax before showering.

Once the kids get back we hit the local shops, grab lunch, head home and spend play and TV time together.

Sunday

We’ve got family visiting today, and we pop out to Tesco and get our washing done, before heading out on a walk with everyone.

We’ve had sex more this week than usual, and it’s been really satisfying, so I feel pretty content and happy.

Sometimes we can go two, three weeks without, but we always talk and make sure the drought doesn’t last too long. We get grumpy with each other otherwise, it just brings the mood down a little.

Yes, life gets in the way, but sex and intimacy are too important to neglect for us, especially because our sex life is a big factor as to why we’re so compatible as a couple.

Things are always better when we’re talking, sharing, and connecting, which we certainly did this week.

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