Why Are Kids So Lonely? 4 Factors Therapists Want UK Parents To Know

What Kids Are Carrying is a HuffPost UK series focusing on how the nation’s youngest generation is *really* feeling right now – and how parents and caregivers can support them.

Children are feeling increasingly lonely and unheard, according to therapists, who say it was one of the top issues brought up by kids in therapy in 2025.

Counselling Directory member Mandi Simons said her practice is seeing more children and young people describe “a sense of loneliness”, but it’s not always about being alone.

“Many are surrounded by people, yet still feel unheard and misunderstood,” she told HuffPost UK.

Similarly, therapist Debbie Keenan, also a Counselling Directory member, said there’s been “an increase of children not just feeling isolated, but feeling unheard”.

One in three young people say they do not feel part of their local community, and young people in Britain are more likely to report feelings of loneliness than any other age group, with 70% of 18- to 24-year-olds reporting they feel lonely at least some of the time.

“From our therapists’ experience, this rarely comes from a lack of care,” said Simons. “More often, it reflects the reality of modern day family life, with busy parents juggling multiple demands, alongside conversations that can feel rushed or move too quickly into fixing or reassuring.”

She noted “social media can add to this, creating pressure and comparison while reducing genuine connection”.

Keenan agrees social media usage is playing into this, as is social thinning, where everyday opportunities for meaningful interactions have greatly reduced.

Between 2010 and 2023, more than 1,200 council run youth centres closed across England and Wales, and local authority spending on youth services in England plummeted by just over 70%.

Meanwhile, between 2014 and 2024, the number of young people (aged 16-24) experiencing common mental health conditions rose from 19% to 26%.

Research suggests that today’s children have significantly less freedom to roam, play outdoors, or gather with friends than previous generations.

“Regular, meaningful and constant connections are the key to reducing isolation. Without these connections, children miss out on building the foundations of relationships, trust and a sense of belonging,” said Keenan.

“Years ago, there were youth clubs etc, where children could meet and socialise, they have now become a thing of the past.

“The world in general has got so busy, people are juggling many shifts of emotional, work and childcare needs.”

The issue is, when adults are busy or distracted, children can feel “dismissed”, said the therapist. “Over time, this can create a sense of ‘my voice doesn’t matter’. They then become quieter and withdraw.”

“Don’t highlight the issue, start noticing behaviour,” advises Keenan. Have they become withdrawn? Are they spending longer periods of time isolated?

Both therapists advise carving out time to be emotionally available and present. “Pause distractions and give your child your full attention,” said Keenan. Create pockets of “special time” where you can spend quality time together.

They also both recommend active listening – giving your child your full attention, without interrupting, and repeating back what you have heard.

“What children need most is to feel properly listened to,” said Simons.

“That means slowing conversations down, showing genuine curiosity, and acknowledging feelings before offering solutions.”

Simple family mindfulness practices, even brief moments of being fully present together without distraction, can help create the space for this, she added.

Not only that but spending time together as a family – whether that’s playing board games or sitting down for dinner together, without interruptions from phones and devices – can provide an opportunity for kids to feel seen, heard, and connected.

“When a child says they feel unheard, we would encourage parents to see this not as criticism, but as an invitation to reconnect. Small shifts in how and when we listen can make a meaningful difference,” added Simons.

As well as carving out time for you to hang out as a family, Keenan advised organising play dates and offering your child support to build their social connections – for example, through extracurricular activities.

She concludes: “Don’t be hard on yourself, the world is evolving at a fast speed. Have compassion for yourself, parenting is hard.”

With connection, compassion, communication; all while being listened to, acknowledged, and valued; “children can naturally start to grow in confidence, feel less isolated and feel like their voice is being heard”.