4 Steps For More (And Better) Orgasms During Menopause

We’ve written before at HuffPost UK about the best sex positions for menopausal women.

Speaking to HuffPost UK previously, Elisabeth Neumann, a sexologist at Lovehoney, said menopause can “make sex feel unfamiliar and frustrating, especially when things that once worked perfectly well no longer feel as comfortable”.

And that might affect the quantity and quality of your orgasms, too.

Pharmacist and author of Love Your Vulva: Celebrating Women’s Bodies, Laura Dowling, said: “As oestrogen falls, the vulva and vagina can become drier, more sensitive and less elastic, so sex may become uncomfortable or painful. And if sex hurts, you’re hardly going to be thinking, ‘Great, now let’s have an orgasm’.

“Then add poor sleep, hot flushes, stress, body-image changes, medications, relationship pressures and being absolutely exhausted.”

Here, she shared how to up your odds of the big O.

Neumann said some ways to increase your odds of orgasm during menopause include:

1. Taking the pressure off yourself,
2. Giving yourself more time,
3. Using plenty of lube,
4. Focusing on clitoral stimulation (“most women need direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm”),
5. Listening to your body – “If sex is dry or painful, don’t just push through it.”

“One of the reasons I wrote Love Your Vulva is because so many women were never properly taught about their own anatomy,” she added.

“Knowing what feels good and being able to say it out loud is a very good place to start.”

Yes – paradoxically, Neumann said, focusing less on the big finish could sometimes make sex and masturbation more enjoyable.

“Sex does not have to be a race towards an orgasm,” she told us. “It can be about touch, pleasure, intimacy, laughing, feeling close to somebody or simply enjoying what feels good.

“And what you enjoy may change as you get older. That doesn’t mean your sex life is finished. It just means the rulebook might need a rewrite.”

The author ended, “I’d much rather a woman have sex that feels pleasurable and connected than spend the whole time worrying about whether she is going to finish.

“There is no gold medal for having an orgasm. If it feels good and you enjoyed yourself, that counts.”