Bad Bunny infuriates Trump

On Sunday 8 February, Americans came together to enjoy their annual ‘Superbowl’. And when we say ‘came together’, we of course mean they found new ways to fight the culture war.

Trump, of course, led the charge:

Doesn’t this guy have a country to run into the ground?

Superbowl styling

The performer Trump is talking about is Bad Bunny, who released one of the best albums of 2025.

There’s really no need for us to promote his album, because some of the tracks have had well over a billion listens in the past 12 months.

Many right-wingers are asking ‘WhY iS a PuErTo RiCaN pErFoRmInG??’, and the simple truth is because the Yanks fucking love him and his music.

Here’s a video from his performance:

Just joyful, wonderful stuff.

If you’re unfamiliar with the relationship between Puerto Rico and America, the US government summarised it as follows:

Puerto Rico has not become an independent nation; neither has it become a State of the Union. It remains a territory of the United States.

In other words, Puerto Rico is America without the (ever decreasing) benefits.

The Trump-supporting Paul brothers fell out over the show, with Jake Paul arguing that Puerto Ricans aren’t real Americans, and his brother arguing the opposite:

This exchange wasn’t that important in the grand scheme of things, but it does give us the opportunity to share this again:

Oh, and also this video of him cowering as Anthony Joshua repeatedly broke his jaw:

God damn, if this is what a ‘real American’ looks like, the US needs to start importing all the fake Americans it can.

The alternative

If you’re one of the glass-jawed Yanks who trembled at the thought of a Brown man banging out hit after hit, there was an alternative from Turning Point USA (TPUSA).

TPUSA was founded by the late Charlie Kirk, and is currently spearheaded by his wife – i.e. the least-bereaved widow in history:

This is how the Daily Show described the event:

Kid Rock was the main attraction at TPUSA’s alternative Superbowl show. And as people pointed out, this old man was too washed to do the bare minimum:

Mr Rock recently attracted criticism after people remembered the time he rapped about liking “underage” ladies – i.e. ‘girls’ – i.e. ‘children’:

It looks like Bad Bunny blew TPUSA out of the water anyway:

Oh, and it’s worse than that. As people noted, TPUSA had to stream their show on YouTube:

And it looks like that ‘5 million’ figure may not be an accurate reflection of the actual viewership:

For reference, a live stream with tens of thousands of viewers will have a chat that is moving so fast it will trigger a seizure if you try to keep up with it.

Victory

In this latest battle in the culture war, we’re announcing that the MAGA right has lost. We’d like to say they put up a good game, but let’s be real; they barely even made it onto the field.

Featured image via pexels